Behavior

Geralyn - posted on 04/14/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone. As my son turns one, we are preparing for disciplining. By that I mean setting appropriate boundaries and expectations for behavior.... I have read some info on discipline and attachment parenting, but to put it into practice leaves us (my hubby and me) kinda charting unfamiliar waters. Our son is our 1st and we want to make sure that we are consistent and appropriate and that we discipline without breaking his spirit. Now that he is getting more mobile, he is getting into things,. Any adivce is appreciated, and any good recommendations for reading material, consistent with attachment parenting, are appreciated as well. Thanks in advance!

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Geralyn - posted on 04/18/2009

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I am definitely going to subscribe to the Growing Child. And I'm gonna pick up the book you recommended.



Its funny you mention the Japanese model. My hubby and I watched "Raising Cain" where they discussed just that for conflict resolution. It is important to let them work it out themselves. Adults, while certainly good-intentioned, can intervene and cause the kids to miss out on important life lessons. We watched that documentary as soon as we knew that we were having a boy. lol



Have a good weekend!

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Geralyn,
Sound like you have a wonderful relationship with your Toddler. And are in a realm I call "Mothering without a map" (or Parenting). But, I think every generation wants to create a better environment for their children. Which is a good thing, but a challenge too.
I was going to say that Dr. Sears has good information on the Stranger anxiety vs. Separation anxiety that you were asking about in the other post. And that the growing child site I gave you is neat in that it gives you ages and stages of development. I even ordered the book of the monthly newsletters I liked it so much.
And I have learned from my 5 year old that he teaches me as much as I teach him....

Geralyn - posted on 04/15/2009

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Hi Katie and Sandi, I will definitely check out the references that you mention.  As far as happening organically, its funny that you say that, because I was describing kinda the approach that I wanted to take with my son in raising him and she was the one that referred me to attachment parenting, so there is definitely something in me that makes attachment parenting almost intuitive (if that makes sense).   And I love Dr. Sears' books... I have a few of them.  And what he describes as the "outcomes" we have seen first hand with our son.  Even my hubby, who ... I don't want to say is skeptical, that's the wrong word, but he questions things, has commented that attachment parenting has made our son grow into a very good-natured, connected little 1-year-old.  I just want to make sure that we protect his self-esteem and attitude while we set boundaries...  I appreciate your comments and assistance.

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I like Katie's suggestion of letting it happen organically and I also have some resources that are my favorite...



'Temperament Tools: Working with Your Child's Inborn Traits' by Neville & Johnson and www.growingchild.com



And as far as putting it all into practice...we try and find friends, family, preschool teachers, and other mentors or models that are live examples of positive discipline/attachment parenting that we can imitate.



And then sometimes we just practice "The Japanese Model"....and let the kiddos resolve the problem on their own (especially if there are a bunch of them and they are quarreling among themselves).  I think this is the organic that Katie is talking about.

Katie - posted on 04/15/2009

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Not sure if this will add anything to what you've already read (it's bite-sized), but here's a link to Dr Sears's take on things:



http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t060300...



Again, the putting it into practice bit is still a mystery, but I suppose (like everything so far that has seemed very complicated!) it'll just happen organically. Let's hope so anyway!

Katie - posted on 04/15/2009

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Not sure if this will add anything to what you've already read (it's bite-sized), but here's a link to Dr Sears's take on things:



http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t060300...



Again, the putting it into practice bit is still a mystery, but I suppose (like everything so far that has seemed very complicated!) it'll just happen organically. Let's hope so anyway!

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