bad sleeper

Rachael - posted on 10/02/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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my little girl is nearly 14 months, and has slept thru once, we gave her this problem when she was newborn as we were told to feed her every 3 hours day and night to boost her weight, we did it for months thus not letting her have the chance to sleep thru, on a good night we get up to her 6 times each so 12 times but on a bad night which is more often we r getting up to her 25-30 times! its impossible, she has a dummy and its often this that wakes her by falling out, we give her milk then dummy in the hope we can sleep for more than 20 mins at a time, we have tried emailing a baby sleep expert but at £800 pound a night, her help is out of the question. if we take her dummy away- which we think would help her sleep- she cries til shes sick over and over again and its too distressing for all of us, any ideas guys? we cant carry on like this

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Alison - posted on 10/08/2010

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I wouldn't advocate controlled crying - numerous studies have shown that it raises dangerous stress hormones and can affect brain development. Kids who have been left to cry like this are 5 times more likely to develop ADHD!!

I think any sleep change takes time. Maybe buy Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution? It has lots of good ideas for people in all sorts of situations.

I know how tough sleep deprivation can be. But don't blame yourself. MOST newborns NEED to eat every 2-3 hours, so you haven't hurt her or done anything wrong.

I, too, would try co-sleeping. If she wakes up, she's more likely to settle herself with you right next to her. Once she gets used to calmer nights, you can then gradually get her used to being in her own cot/room/whatever.

Another option is dismantling her cot and putting the mattress on the floor. You or hubby could sleep next to her, so she gets used to her own bed from the start.

Also, if she doesn't have a lovely or special toy, help her find one! Pick something soft and cuddly, and pick it up whenever you are cuddling her during the day. This will help her associate the toy with you and find better comfort from it.

Best of luck and stay strong!! Babies sleep through when they are ready, but there are certainly things you can do to help her have a less 'wakey' night.

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Tracy - posted on 10/23/2010

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Make sure he is full when you put him to bed whether it is a snack or a cup of milk or pediasure before he goes to bed. At bedtime give him is bottle only put water in it. He will cry some for the first couple nights because he won't be happy not because he is hungry. If he continues to cry keep handing him the water bottle and most likely he will shove it away. Tell him it is this or nothing, tell him it is bedtime and he has to go back to sleep. He will probably wake up in the middle of the night crying for the first few nights but if all he gets is water in the bottle he won't want the bottle anymore. Hope this helps.

Yasmin - posted on 10/23/2010

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I also have a bad sleeper. His not awful, he goes to bed on his own, he gives himself his bottle in his cot & he has a dummy on a string so if it falls out he puts it back in himself but he wakes up 2-4 times a night. He is a very bad eater & doesn't eat much during the day at all, actually I don't know where he gets his energy from. I really want him to sleep through the night without wanting his bottle. I have tried cutting it out but he just screams the house down until I give it to him & if I give him half a bottle he then cries as his still hungry. He doesn't have bottles during the day, only at bed time & night. I have tried him with so many foods, I dont know what else to try. He won't let me feed him off the spoon. Would really appreciate someones help. Thankyou x

Tracy - posted on 10/16/2010

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Does she nap during the day and what time does she get up and go to bed? If you are getting up that often during the night it almost sounds like she has her days and nights mixed up. Try keeping her up later and no nap during the day so she is really tired. Also find a snuggle toy or blanket for her to cuddle with and make sure she has a night light. I doubt she is losing her dummy she is probably throwing it out knowing you will come in and give it back to her so you might need to just wean her of that all together maybe replace it with a sippy cup of water or something. They say to make a vertical slit in the pacifier and they don't like it because it is not the same and they will wean themselves, unfortunately I don't have it that easy mine never took a pacifier and one sucks her thumb and the other sucks her middle two fingers so weaning them from that will be more of a challenge. Best of Luck.

Sarah - posted on 10/16/2010

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Why don't you put her in your bed for a while. you can pat her back to sleep as soon as she wakes and she won't wake too much. Once you have her sleeping on her own, rock her to sleep in your bed and transfer her to her own - thats how I did it!!!

Susan - posted on 10/09/2010

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Hi Rachel i am also having simila problem. I bath and put my daughter to bed at 7pm, she has a bottle when she goes down but im stillg getting up to her several times in the night most of the time its because she has lost her diddy so i put 2 or 3 in her cot so there easier to find. i also have a musical mobile on her cot and when she cries that music comes on that soothes her to stop her getting wound up and being sick. i think these are great and swear by them and as mentioned above try the pick up and put down technique. ive been doing it now for about a week and im down to getting up to her once a night but thats not every night

Emily - posted on 10/07/2010

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Is she not able to get the dummy back in her mouth?

If it were me, I'd just bring the baby to bed with me. I know that's probably not a *popular* idea, but it has worked for us.

Jessica - posted on 10/07/2010

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I too did the controlled crying like Rachael, it took 3 nights and now she sleeps from 8pm till 5.30.. you should google the method "controlled crying" then you get the technique right. I hated the idea and it is tough but it works!! x

Shari - posted on 10/05/2010

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I too was the mother of a bad sleeper. Until just recently my daughter would wake every 20-45 minutes. We too tried a dummy, but as with you every time it would fall out it would wake her again, so I just stopped giving it to her. But, thankfully she didn't mind. I found that she really likes the PrinceLionheart Slumber Bear, it is a motion/sound activated white noise machine. I also started to play lullabies all night long ( her IPod has over 9 hours of music on it) she does not like to sleep in silence. I also stopped picking her up and nursing her every time and opted to rub her back instead, no matter how hard she cried (and I cried too) and slowly over a couple of weeks she started to sleep longer and longer, and wanted to eat less and less. Now she wakes up only once or twice a night and a quick snuggle in the rocking chair and she's back asleep. I don't know when/if I will ever get a full night sleep, but I'll take what I can get lol. Stay hopeful! I hope, that you can find something that helps. Good luck.

Marina - posted on 10/04/2010

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Hi Rachael,
We also were not getting enough sleep and nearly going crazy due to lack of sleep. I was a walking zombie. We did sleep train our baby for survivial. When he was 11 months old, I decided that I would not pick him up when he woke up crying. I slept outside his room for several weeks. when he woke up crying, I went into the room, laid him back down on his back, patted him and reassured him saying, "No (gently and firmly) it is time to go to sleep." I covered him and handed him his spit rag, which he snuggles with. I kept my hand on his stomach, till he settled, said, "Good night." and walked out. Of course he started crying immediately...usually hysterical and shaking the crib rails. After 5 minutes (me crying and watching the clock), I walked back in and repeated the same process. But I DID NOT PICK HIM UP. The next time, I waited 10 minutes before going in...then 15...then 20...
The first night, I slept very very little and it was emotionally exhausting, but I knew he was not hurt or in danger so I considered it a small sacrifice for my sanity. The second night was much like the first, maybe worse. The third night was marginally better. On the fourth night, he didn't stand up to cry...he cried lying down...Each night was a little better, but there would also be bad nights. Each morning, he would greet me with a grin and a smile, so I know he was not holding grudges for the new night system. I remained consistent, gentle, and firm. There was noticeable improvement after a week, and after a month, he only would wake once or twice. Now, three months later, he does not usually wake at all, from 9:30 p.m. till 6:00 a.m.
Good luck.

Kari Jane - posted on 10/02/2010

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You poor soles, Whatever you do is going to be a long road. Are you still feeding her when she wakes? If thats the case i would start with weaning her off needing milk to sleep. Then i would try the pick up put down method, which is just what it say. It seems the key to you getting some sleep is her being able to soothe herself back to sleep when she wakes. Bath her, feed he and then put her down awake, if she gets up/crys then pick he up and clam her down before puting her back down again. Tracy Hogg the baby whisperer explains this and other ways in her books.Top Tips from the Baby Whisperer - Sleep: Secrets to Getting Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night

by Tracy Hogg, Melinda Blau

http://www.waterstones.com/waterstoneswe...

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