10 yr. old with Aspergers & Imaginary Friends

Mary Ann - posted on 02/09/2012 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Just had a meeting with the school counselor.. She says my daughter is talking to imaginary friends in class. She is not on any medication. I think she does this when she's nervous & in social situations. Do any of your kids with Asperger's/Autism talk to imaginary friends at this age? Thanks.

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Thedemonschild6 - posted on 06/22/2013

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I'm 15 and I have imaginary friends. I have asperger's and I find that they have helped me cope whenever I need someone there for me. Growing up, I got teased a lot. I didn't have real friends. So, I created them. In fact, I created a whole world where creatures of amazing beauty and grace love me and respect me. This has always helped me when I've been upset or am fighting. I go to that world, and here I zone out. I have regular conversations with my friends as if they were really their. Yesterday, I explained to one of them why mercury is no longer used in a thermometer. They help me relax, and protect me when I'm scared. But they also help me build up real social situations. Some places that I've been on say that kids create imaginary friends as someone to agree with them all the time. Well that's not real or realistic. And my friends are very realistic as I see them. We get into fights. Heck, we say things that we don't mean, and they're my everything to me. Bottom line. Your daughter is probably being helped by her friends and I would encourage it to the point of including them in everyday talk. I wish my mother would do this, because they're such a big part of my life. Your daughter's friends probably help her with calming her down so that she doesn't have a meltdown. I've never been popular, but to me my friends are real. I cry sometimes when I think of ever losing them. I think of them as people without an earthly body. They're completely real as I see it, and even though others can't, my worldly friends believe in them and I can talk to my best friend about them because she has them too. To me, it doesn't matter if they have a body or not, we're a family, and that's what matters in the end isn't it?

Victoria - posted on 05/28/2012

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I was looking up to see if I need to look into my son having an imaginary friend at 10 years old as I didn't realize he still had them until he told me the other day. I was thinking he is getting a bit too old for them. Then, I was thinking that maybe it is the fact that he has Asperger's. I feel somewhat relieved that he isn't only one. After reading on it some, I realized that his imaginary friends may have actually helped him to be as smart as he is today & that they comfort him when he feels he has no one else to turn to as he doesn't have many friends at school. I'm glad that he feels comfortable enough to tell me about his friend that he says is imaginary & the same age as him. :)

Mama - posted on 12/08/2012

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I'm pretty dismayed by some of the comments and the parents who want to discourage their kids from having imaginary friends. They're an emotional coping mechanism that I believe to be particularly helpful for kids on the spectrum who have social anxiety and difficulties with social situations. They already have difficulty making friends and functioning in social situations, so the solution is to banish the "friends" they have, who also function as their internal (or in this case, and my son's - external) sounding board?



My 7 year old son does this, and did this in school, so my ex and I explained to him that not all kids have "friends" like his and some kids don't understand and that there are certain activities that are not allowed in the classroom as he needs to stay focused on the teacher and the lesson, but that it's perfectly acceptable to do this at home.



Sometimes he gets exasperated when I think he's talking with me and I respond to his chatter with his "friends".



I also found a great link where adult Aspies discuss this subject. IMHO, we should listen more to those with direct experience (adults with autism) than the so-called developmental disorder experts if we really want to understand and support our children with ASD.



http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt180316.h...

Frances - posted on 02/11/2012

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Does your daughter consider them imaginary friends? If not, she should be seen by her doctor.

Maria - posted on 02/09/2012

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my son is Autism high funtioning, and he does play imaginary games, but he only does it at home, and not when other people that are not his family are looking, I told him straigh what people would think if they see him playing with weird objects, and he got it. After a few repetions, he is now very much aware that it can't be done in front of othrer people. He does not even want me to video him doing it or taking pictures, is a big family secret to him.

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Nessa - posted on 08/11/2018

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my lil girl is 9 she is on medicine because she has adhd and aspergers n oh my yes she has imagianary friends but she also talks bout how her voice is differnet and seems to jump from super hyper to super quite then at times jump in to super stinker pot i worry bout her i luv my baby afraid to take her off meds cause she needs for school to focus
but yeh she has a whole crew of imaginary super hero kids this one started when school did

Wendy - posted on 02/23/2015

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My daughter who does not have aspbergers used to have imaginary friends when she was lonely as an only child. It stopped when she got siblings
My son who has aspbergers had a build a bear Dino who he talked to and took everywhere but school until he was 13 His sisters finally convinced him he was too old to take it with him on vacations. Last year just before he turned 15 he volunteered at a teddy bear picnic as part of his volunteer hours he wanted to take his Dino with him but I explained that it wasn't appropriate for him to be a volunteer and take a stuffed animal. Two days later I get an email asking for permission for his picture to be used in a brochure and there he us standing with the mascot and another teen and he was holding his Dino which he had snuck I to the event He has his stuffed animals on his bed I don't know if he still talks to them or not but having them are still a comfort to him.

Speck135les - posted on 01/16/2015

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i am an adult with aspergers who had an invisible/imaginary friend at age 9-12, i did not find out until 4 years ago that the friend i had was a real person.. being faceblind i didn't recognize him and he has been in my life as an aquaintance/friend/best friend almost constantly since the beginning, he was rather upset because he thought i was just going through life changes when i would make him reintroduce himself roughly every year or two. but his face and voice has evolved throughout the years.i took turmeric and it cleared the mercury out of my system.so i have remembered him since then.

Linda - posted on 06/24/2014

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My daughter just turned 11 Friday. She has been talking to her "friends" for as long as I can remember. Now she makes "plays" with her Barbies and stuffed animals. It is part of who she is.

Ann Wambui - posted on 11/06/2012

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My son also talks to his imaginary friend at home and it is just too much and noisy too. How can we stop this?

Anaquita - posted on 10/12/2012

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If she knows they're imaginary, she's likely okay. Kids on the spectrum have a hard time making friends. However have a discussion on perhaps trying to save talking to said imaginary friends at home.

Diana - posted on 10/12/2012

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Well my granddaughter who is 5 talks to them all the time and we are at a loss as to how to handle it. She gets upset with school because they are "mean to cats and wont let them come to school." She tells us that they are not her imagination. She sometimes has me convinced that she really sees them. Do They? Her cats started a long time ago, and I don't see them going anywhere any time soon. Any suggestions on how to handle and not hurt her feelings?

Thanks

Mary Ann - posted on 02/11/2012

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Yeah, she refers to them as her imaginary friends. She knows they're imaginary. I just think they bring her comfort.

Mary Ann - posted on 02/09/2012

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Thanks. I am relieved that I am not the only parent that has gone through this. I've tried to explain it to my daughter, but I don't think she understands. I guess it goes with trying to teach her how to behave socially. Only my husband understands. I think I do need to be more consistent and try to relate to her how inappropriate it can seem to strangers, especially at her age.

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