Elisabete - posted on 09/28/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )




OK SO I ask....what would you do in my place all parents who have austistic children and even those who dnt .if this was your son or your children would you be angry..or would you be understanding ?what would eb your reaction.

ok so last year i had my oldest son chris who is now 13 and in hight school and my daughter and my son austin who has autism in the same school,apaprt from a couple of incidents where my son left the school ground without anyone noticing ,we were understanding and took it as a mistaken that would never happen kids were all well liked and were popular all the kids were nice to them and he had a carer who was with him in the playground to make sure he wouldent get into trouble or bullied and in class to help him with work.

there was only one incident where my oldest got in charge of solving when he was still at the school and that was when my son austin was told to go to teh girls toilets as a joke cause the older kids though it was funny,austin did not know wany better.

whenhe used to say swear words we used to ignore it as he never new the meanings to them .he just though it was words said by kids and adults when angry,but over time the teachers beagn to make a big deal out of it even after we asked them to ignore it as it was a solution we thought would work.but by punishing him he began to use the words to attack us and get attention instead .

once the old principal moved school and the new one moved in.i was not happy,my son 2 times left the school ground for starters,once because he saw dad and decided to follow him home ,hubby noticed him as he got closer to home and heard austin calling out to him,the teachers never new he was gone.when i went there mad as anything the principal was saying she has experience with austic kids and i told her "NO U DNT YOU GET TO SEND THEM HOME AT THE END OF THE DAY..READING BOOKS DNT MAKE YOU AN EXPERT".. she said hubby shoudl start taking another way home so austin dnt see him.

he had just come from the shop and we have friends who live across from the school,hubby was talking to them when austin saw them so now she is saying we are not allowed to visit those friends when our kids are at lunch.or go to the shops around that time ,just so our kids dnt see us ..i guess having a cup of cofee and chatting was more important then watching kids ...the other time austin walked home because he was upset .the result was "THE CARERS WERE BEING SWITCHED AND INSTEAD OF ONE WAITING FOR THE OTHER TO COME OUT SHE WENT INSIDE AND THE OTHER WAS A FEW MINUTES LATE TO GO OUTSIDE SO AUSTIN WAS LEFT ALONE FOR 5 Minutes "

anough time to run home we live 15 minutes away walk,2 road,in this area cars get driven really fast adn people dnt pay attention adn austin dnt know the road rules whch means he could have run across and got run over by a speeding car .

now as time goes by austins grades as i see them go lower and he hates going to school and he is no longer the placid,lovable,polite young man he was ,he is rude,agressive and has an atitude.

i have no clue how to handle him sometimes .

when he hits another child they put him in the blue chair,and tell him that he shouldent do things like that.

or send him to the principals office who makes him read a book about how to beahve ,he is a 9 year old is a 3 year olds body as if he would understand what we are trying to teach him? he hardly understands when i talk to him.

then once he was rude or miss beahved and there was a birthday party on and they sat him in a chair at a table and made him sit there and watch the kids eat cakes adn weets and have fun ahe he was watching them and was getting more angry...I WONDER WHY?how cruel.

eeryday ive asked austin how his day was during dinner and he tells me he got into trouble because he hit a kid,when i ask him why he said the kids hit him frst.

austin has never lied,jhas no reason too and dnt know how to,he has never been violent and the only time he hits is when he is hit first.teachers punish austin casue most of the time he is caught at it not the other child ,but i dnt think they bother to ask austin.

some kids take toys to school wehn they know they are not allowed to do it ,when austin is playing with their toys and they want them back instead of asking the teacher for help they try to take it from like taking a bone from a dog..not a good idea..

but what tipped me off the edge was when i wrote in a letter thart i wanted to know everything that happen in a daily basis,yet we get told nothing .very busy people they are i guess.

yesterday a kid was eating and spat his food out of his mouth adn told austin to eat it the discusting shit ,teacher must have found out or seen it and never told scott when he picked up austin but told the principal at the end of the day,but in the morning scott still never got told ,another kid who was friends with my oldest told scott who went to the principals office and told him,they had a meeting and would let us know what they were going to do later.scott was not happy,but when he got home he told me annd i just went bonkers ,i got up got dressed and walked to the school,scott rang them in advance ,i called the eduvcation department and they were on her side as usual,as if we dnt have the right to be told everything.

i told them in a past meeting in a ncie way"if austin takes a dump i want to know about it " they though i was joking i guess .how m i suppose to work out how to take care of him and deal with his problems if we get left in the dark.?

when i got there both izzy and austin had their bags and ready to be taken out.the principal did not want to talk to me becuase i was being loud and was not talking i told her"iam past being nice i tried that u did not just stuffed around with the wrong family and messed with the worng mother..your a poor excuse for a principal and what happen is discustin this school is discustin"

HOW COULD I NOT BE ANGRY? i have enough on my plate...we shoud be able to take ou kids to school adn know they are happy,safe and learning well....i dnt think my son is getting that..

then when there is a lice spread at the school izzy always gets sent home ..but not the other kids?why her hair is done 2 times a day brushed 50 times each time ,i check it and its clean she gets to school and at least 1 times every couple of mths she gets sent home cause a teacher seen a lice wal;king on her hair..what about the other girls ??/checked them ??not allowed to check kids hairs they say...what were they doing looking in mine then???then to top it off they say not hats in class ,i put a scarf on her so she dnt catch them and when it falls off they dnt bother putting it back on wonder....

austin a few mths back came home with pissy pants ..he is toilet trained for the past year,,why ???? cause the teacher tied the pants so tight he could not undo them and neither could scott so he couldent hold on to the bladder and he had to walk home with pissy pants ..


ive taken the kids out and contacted the papers ,dnt know if they would eb interested but iam feed up.i may have to pay fo a private school which is next to my place but in a pension ii may not be able to afford it ,and even though iam capable of teaching my kdis at home ,with number 6 arriving i dnt know if i will ahve enough time to do it all.....


View replies by

Alisa - posted on 10/01/2009




Yes I would be upset after all who knows your child better than you. I as well have a child who is 6 and is autistic as well as has add , as my mom says "god dosent give you more than you can handle..."

Shasta - posted on 09/29/2009




I would be beyond angry! You have the right to take it before the school board. I would have. I would tell the school board the situation and ask what they can do to guarantee your child's safety. By federal law they have to provide a safe learning environment for all children. Including ours. My son is also a runner and his school recently enstalled a temporary fence around his playground to help ensure that he doesn't wander off. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. I understand the fear you must have felt. I'm sorry and you're not alone in this fight. :)

Amanda - posted on 09/29/2009




It is a very sad world we live in. My boy has high functioning Aspergers. My son has been made to go into mainstream apparently it is better for him to apparently mix with children that do not have autistic spectrum disorders. He has been bullied from day one of going into mainstream. Please keep in mind that he was in a special ASD unit for kids with Autism till Primary 7 then on to a mainstream high school which I had to fight to get him in as it is not local which has an Autism Unit within. The staff in there have been fantastic but my boy is not part of the Unit he is in mainstream.

One of the instances of bullying involved a child throwing hot soup in my sons face cause he got annoyed at my son ACCIDENTALLY spilling yoghurt on his trousers. He got cautioned by the police. He has been humiliated in many other ways which I will not go into length to mention. The school are aware and find it convenient to blame my boy cause he dont understand situations that are thrown at him. He finally had enough this time last year when a boy pushed him that he retaliated. Which may I add I dont condone at all!! But I understand the anxiety and being pushed when you feel that adults dont listen. Well what happened he got excluded. I fought the school in appeal and lost. I understand your frustration and something needs to be done within schools primary and secondary where PROPER TRAINING not going away for a few days training of staff on how to handle delicate situations with our children. I am always nervous when the school phones for fear of another incident happening. I am totally sick of them using the fact that Aspergers children misunderstand situations rather than dealing with the narrow minded children who dont have autism that bully him. Their behaviour is intolerable. My son is now a very very anxious child. The goverment needs to do something and do it NOW!!!

Valerie - posted on 09/28/2009




Wow, that's crazy! Where is this that you live? Here in Texas we have laws out the wazoo that protect children like ours, and a principal who allows these thing to happen here would not only lose her job, she wouldn't be likely to find one anywhere in the US. There are state laws that set guidelines for educating children with special needs and they arre strictly enforced. May I suggested finding out what the laws are where you are at. Any public library will be able to help you locate the information. Good luck to you.

Elisabete - posted on 09/28/2009




my son did have help last year,but this year they though he deserved to be free like normal kids..sometimes mother knows best..he needs structure and safety not be thrown into the lions.we tried meetings but all they do is look at their watchs and when we pull the up on it they look at us as if we r lying or going over the top.i guess money talks adn bull shit walks .

Shawna - posted on 09/28/2009




I would be very angry also!! You have every right to be angry. I have a 4 year old son with PDD-NOS. He attends a daycare full time, he was in a big daycare with alot of french kids,my son is english. I moved him to a smaller more english daycare. He has his therapist there every day for 2 hours to work with him and he has a helper there also for 2 hours when the OT is not around.

I really don't know what to tell you, i feel bad. My son is due to start school next year and they have nothing at this school as far as help goes. I'm not sure what i will have to do, i know he will have his OT until he is 6 then what?? All i can suggest is maybe getting more people involved, does he have an Ocupational therapist, if so maybe she can bug the school to get it together. Maybe a social worker, meetings with the staff. I really don't know. I hope it all works out for you son and he gets more help.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms