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continued rage and violence with my asperger's child

Lyn - posted on 03/06/2013 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My granddaughter will be 15 years old April 2nd. She has been with me since the age of 6 months old. At the age of 2 what everyone told me what I was going through with Sammi was "the terrible twos" was not that. I knew it was something more. the physical violence has been present her entire life during her rages. The only difference is as she gets bigger and older,the violence gets worse. I have never spanked her or raised my voice to her,so Sammi's autistic rages are not mirroring any behavior she has seen at home. She has slapped me, punched me,and hit me in my shoulders hard enough to knock me off my feet. Today I have been kicked ,spitted on,and had my arms punched with her fists. I look forward to the quiet moments because I know the others will be back with no warning. That's pretty much the best advice I could give to other parents of autistic children. Appreciate the quiet times.

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Levornia - posted on 03/08/2013

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I guess I have just seen over the years how it put so much stress on grandparents that I won't even allow my son to spend the night at my parents house just have this thing that they raised me they don't need my child in the way. I guess I have seen some bad experiences that I just shy away from it.

Lyn - posted on 03/08/2013

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I tried that. My daughter told the doctor,the hospital,Social Services and Child Protective Services that took My granddaughter that she did not know who Sammi's father is.I don't understand why you are so much against grandparents raising their grandchildren. CPS only had to call one relative before they placed Sammi in their files to be adopted out. I am so glad I answered that phone. If I had known then what the next 15 years would be like, I would still immediately say yes when can I come and get my granddaughter.I just don't want other autistic parents to not be aware of the violent side of autism.

Levornia - posted on 03/08/2013

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You know what you could find the father without your daughter's consent. You can even get DNA done to look for the father. You can tell social services or doctors that your child has a disability and it is important that you find them for treatment. Because it can be a DNA trait and he may have kids or family that are in the same boat you are and can help.

Levornia - posted on 03/08/2013

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Don't feel bad I have a sister that refuses to be in her son's life. Actually both of the parents are not involved so my other sister is raising him along with her other 2 children and my parents has to help out as well. I am so against grandparents raising their grandchildren. Seeing that my parents has raised us why do they have to start all the way back over with their grandkids. I know how difficult it can be because I see what my parents go through. It takes so much out of you to deal with a child with Autism/Asperger's even if they are not violate. I say try a play therapist for your child her issue could just be an emotional thing and play therapist can work with her. Sometime rages are just anger build up and no matter how much we love our children sometimes they need someone who do not know them to just talk to with.

Lyn - posted on 03/08/2013

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I have no idea who her father is and her mother has refused to tell me. Child Protective Services took Sammi away from my daughter when she was 3 months old. My granddaughter was in 6 foster homes during the 3 months while they tried to get my daughter to be a better mother. Then the court system permanently stripped her of her maternal rights. I lived on the other side of the country at this time and when contacted,I flew to get my granddaughter. Since that time my daughter has refused to be in my granddaughter's life. I brought her home to my house when she was 6 months old and have been responsible for her since that day. So there are no parents to be involved or other grandparents.

Levornia - posted on 03/08/2013

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She needs to go to a ABA therapist and a psychologist. She is much older now and her behavior has gotten worse. Plus you shouldn't be dealing with these type of issue. Her parents need to be involved this could be another problem as well. She may need her biological parents.

Lyn - posted on 03/06/2013

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She is taking medication every morning. It lessons the frequency of the rages,but not the strength or the violence.

Lisa - posted on 03/06/2013

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You shouldn't have to live like that. Has your granddaughter had any treatment (ABA or other)? Have you checked with her doctor about getting her something to help her control her rage?

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