My 19 month cries a lot

Suzanne - posted on 01/09/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

64

7

6

My daughter is always crying, winie, crabby or fussy. She had colic very badly. as a baby and thought she would out grow it. She was so fussy that we thought for several months she was allergic to milk and used Soy, but had that tested and she has no allergy. She communicates ok and listens well. She can pick up toys and put things away and listen to commands well. She makes good eye contact. However, the littlest things get her significantly frustrated and set her off into crazy tantrams. What scares me is that her level of tantram is so intense that she cannot be soothed, she doesn't want to be held or cuddled and ends up just falling and laying face down on the floor screaming. She doesn't want to be picked up or touched. She will want something and point to something, you give it to her and she does not want it and the more you try to help her, the more frustrated she gets. Even when she is put to bed, she screams and carries on like she is in pain and hurting and it breaks my heart to leave her in there until she falls asleep. I thought she would outgrow this by now. I am thinking maybe she may have some special needs I should address. Help!

5 Comments

View replies by

Kristy - posted on 01/10/2010

52

17

3

There are varying degrees of autism. Your Daughter doesn't have to be full out autistic or suffer from asbergers to have a problem. You said she had colic very bad, it could be that she is still suffering from stomach issues from being colicky. My son started out normal and then had a bad reaction to his vaccines and had to be on antibiotics to get rid of the infection. That messed up his digestive system and send us spiraling back wards into regression. He was actually ahead in most of his development until he was about 18 months and had the reaction to his vaccine and was on the antibiotics. He still sought me out and still wanted to cuddle, he even had excellent problem solving skills. I don't want to scare you and its good that you are paying close attention to everything, just keep in mind that if left unchecked these issues can cause serious problems later on. Do a little research into colic and see what you can find then talk to your pediatrician about it and see if maybe your little girl is suffering from digestive issues. It doesn't hurt to have her checked out. If nothing comes of it then maybe she is just a very fussy baby by nature. But if you do find something then you might find an answer to what might be bothering her. I hope this helps.

Suzanne - posted on 01/10/2010

64

7

6

I don't want to be quick to label her, its just that she is so different in her temperment from my older daughter and it is very intense. And I am totally confused. She does make good eye contact, she does not walk on her toes at all. She started walking at 11 months. In fact, my older daughter walks on her toes all the time and she is the most social 3 year-old I have ever met. My older daughter has no fear of people and loves to socialize. The 19month old appears to have many of my own traits, as I had very big temper tantrums when I was a kid. I do try to keep the sugar intact to a severe minimum. In fact, I think I may be over protective with the sugar issues, because of my own experiences. My kids don't drink pop or have any candy. Once in a while they might get a bite of chocolate or a small cookie, but nothing on a regular basis. I don't see her doing any prolonged repetitive behavior, but she is significantly more shy then her older sister. She has gotten better, but is still leary. Her tantrums do not involve banging her head. However, its when I try to pick her up that she arches her back to get away from me. The tantrums last about 2-3 minutes. The tantrums at night and during nap time are a lot more severe and last anywhere from a few minutes to 20 minutes. I can't go in there because it starts all over again and she freaks out. I thought she just needed to be furberized, but not sure that is the best thing for her, cause it doesn't seem to be working very well. The crankiness and tantrums are the issues I have more concern with.



She does seek me out sometimes. She cuddles but not very often. Even as a baby, she did not like to be cuddled. It was hard to handle at first because my older daughter was such a cuddler. When going to bed as a baby would rather lay in bed awake then fall asleep in my arms. This was strange to me. She has gotten better and now when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she does want to be held and cuddled and if I set her down she freaks out. She also loves baby dolls. In fact, we bought several after she was born, because my oldest was never into baby dolls.



I have tried to keep track of this, but it seems so random that I cannot make heads or tails out of it. Is is always calmed by motion and loves to be moved into the air. She also loves to bounce. In fact Santa brought her a bouncer to jump around in.



She hardly ever has constipation. In fact, I hardly ever see stools, but I think this is just a product of what we see in her diaper. When she poops in the bath tub, it is always stool. She was on soy formula until she was a year. Then we did the Allergy test and she was not allergic to milk products, so we started to give her Milk. He did want her to take a bacteria supplement, but I didn't really notice a change, either way.



She is very smart and does try to copy her sister. She has gone poop in the potty 2x and peed once. She is always wanting to sit on the potty and goes through the movements. Maybe its just her temperment. Her sister started pre-school last week and we will be having something come into the home for 1 on 1 time with her starting next week, to see how she does. She may just need extra attention. Thank you everyone for your posts. It gave me something to think about. Interestingly, I took an on line Autism test and scored a 29, when the average person is a 16-17, and asbergers is a 32 but I am also an attorney, which really confuses me now. However, I will be looking into this and I now recognize that my daughter may exhibit these signs and still be fully functional. Thanks again for the awareness. I invite any thoughts you may have, as I know relatively little about Autism.

Mary - posted on 01/10/2010

63

21

5

Quoting Suzanne:

My 19 month cries a lot

My daughter is always crying, winie, crabby or fussy. She had colic very badly. as a baby and thought she would out grow it. She was so fussy that we thought for several months she was allergic to milk and used Soy, but had that tested and she has no allergy. She communicates ok and listens well. She can pick up toys and put things away and listen to commands well. She makes good eye contact. However, the littlest things get her significantly frustrated and set her off into crazy tantrams. What scares me is that her level of tantram is so intense that she cannot be soothed, she doesn't want to be held or cuddled and ends up just falling and laying face down on the floor screaming. She doesn't want to be picked up or touched. She will want something and point to something, you give it to her and she does not want it and the more you try to help her, the more frustrated she gets. Even when she is put to bed, she screams and carries on like she is in pain and hurting and it breaks my heart to leave her in there until she falls asleep. I thought she would outgrow this by now. I am thinking maybe she may have some special needs I should address. Help!


 

User - posted on 01/09/2010

837

9

264

I am wondering if beside the behaviour, does she display any signs that would worry you:

Example: Flapping hands, lining up toys, a fixation on spinning things, flicking lights off and on (or other prolonged repetitive behaviours) Walking on toes (does she walk?) Does she cover her ears/eyes, hide behind you if something unusual pops up on the tv....seem overly fearful?

When she has a tantrum, does she bang her head, arch her back (if you are trying to hold her) or claw at you? Do the tantrums last longer than ten minutes? When not upset, does she enjoy cuddles, tickles? Does she seek you out? Does she cuddle baby dolls?

Ask your closest friend with a child her age (or someone who has a child a little older) does this seem typical to you? Be honest, don't say yes if you don't think so...see if others see what you see as being "atypical" behaviour.

You say she is always crying, whining, crabby, fussy. You need to track this because if you are worried enough to post, you need to see your family dr. Write it down and see if there is a pattern or if there are triggers. Would she be calmed by a swinging motion/jumping? Is she ever constipated?

I have posted this story before of a boy I taught who had horrible behaviour. The summer before I taught him, he was diagnosed with Chrons/Colitus (sp?) and began treatment. People who knew him before treatment couldn't get over the change in this child (I was new to the school, so all I knew was what people told me.) An undiagnosed condition can have a tremendous impact on a child's behaviour. I have a friend and her son is allergic to wheat. She had no idea, but the poor little guy had horrible tummy pains and was just miserable. No wheat and now all smiles!

Journal. See a doctor. Express your concerns and why. Be methodical in your approach so you are not dismissed as a worried mom (although we know our children best and the smartest doctors out there trust and listen to mothers!).

Good luck!

Sheila

Kristy - posted on 01/09/2010

52

17

3

Sounds like what you're going through with what I went through with my son before we found out he had autism. This is a difficult time to say for certain but it sounds like you on the road to regression. This may sound grouse but how are her stools? Are they yellow and really messy and very fowl smelly? Does she suffer from frequent diaper rash? The thing about allergy tests is that they are only about 40% accurate at best. The beat thing you can do is to start paying attention to what she is eating and take note of her behaviors after she eats. I do a diet diary with my son and write down everything that he eats and what his behavior is like over the course of the day. You may start to see patterns based on certain foods. I had to have my kids on goat milk becuase they are both allergic to soy. You may want to try that too, because soy isn't at all what its cracked up to be. You can try a gluten and casein free diet that some parents have their autistic kids on. My son is on a mostly meat and vegetable diet right now becuase any thing with sugar sets him off. Try not to panic in hearing the phrase autism or on the autism scale. I will tell you no parent wants to hear that their child is autistic or has any similar problem. I will tell you when you frist do get that lable its like a bomb going off in your lap and suddenly all your hopes and dreams fpr your child feel liuke they have just been blown away. But if you catch it early enough, you can completely reverse it. Its good that you are picking up on this so early, because it was about this age that my son started regressing and for a year and a half we didn't know why we wasn't sleeping through the night, why he stopped talking and why he would have horrible fits of rage and start bashing his head as hard as he could or scream until he passed out of shear exhaustion. You should try talking to your pediatrician about this but keep in mind its too early to tell yet if she is having a serious problem. Has your daughter had any vaccines? She could be having a reaction to the vaccines, its more common than most doctors will admit. AS a mom who as gone through all of this I feel for you. Don't hesitate to read up on the subject you might just figure something out that will fix her problems. I recommend reading Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies: The Groundbreaking Program for the 4-A Disorders You can get it off of Amazon.com if you can't find it in your local book store. Do you a good thing by coming to this corner of the site and asking. I feel for you. If you ever need any help please don't hesitant to ask. *hugs* good luck with your daughter.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms