Potty Training

Ashley - posted on 10/30/2010 ( 50 moms have responded )

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I have 4 yr old twins, my son has autism and still isn't potty trained. Has anyone else had difficulty potty training their autistic child and if so what can I try that may help my son and me succeed in potty training?

Thanks,
Ashley

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Tina - posted on 11/02/2010

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I potty trained my nonverbal autistic 3 yr old pretty quickly using ABA techniques. He had very limited receptive language as well. You have to be intensive about it at first (the first few days to weeks) and have NO diapers except when sleeping.
We started on a weekend and had no clothes on from the waste down, stayed in the bathroom all day (even for eating and playing...but not sleeping). When he first got up, we got to it. Provide plenty of drinks (increases frequency of urination and, therefore, practice), plenty of entertainment and a reserve box of favorite reinforcers. When my son started urinating, we'd immediately put him on the toilet. If he finished in the toilet, we gave lots of praise and a reinforcer for about 5-10 minutes. When he was successful in urinating in the toilet for at least 3 times in a row (keep a log), then we allowed him access to the bathroom and one other room. Continue this until you open up another room of the house for every 3 successes. Once the whole house is open to him, add 1 layer of clothes for every 3 successes. It took about 2-3 day for us to get to the clothes point. After about 6 weeks, we were confident enough to take up the plastic that we put on the carpets. He knew when he needed to go, but he had trouble remembering to take his pants down (he'd sit on the toilet with his pants on to go). It took months for him to learn to pull them down first. He is now 4 and has absolutely no problems. Since he still cannot tell me verbally that he has to go, I take him every 2 hours when not at home. Let me know if you need more details.
I figure that if it works for my son who has severe communication problems, it can work for about anyone. Good luck!

Annette - posted on 11/02/2010

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we recently talked with a phycologist and they say that they need a high stool to have there feet on as they require that support,as we like our feet on the ground sop do they.also changing the nappy in the toilet area,and bribe with favorite food worked for us.

Amy - posted on 11/02/2010

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hi ashley my son was not potty trained when he turned 4 either and we were desperately looking for ways to get this accomplished, while shopping for large enough diapers... he was a smearer heightening my anxiety over this. he was in a preschool program and they went as a group. it helped alot. also - he wanted big boy underwear instead of diapers - wet wipes and a stool for his feet. the gastrocolic reflex is strongest just after eating so have him sit on the potty for 5 to 10 minutes after every meal, regardless of output. good luck!!

Kristen - posted on 11/02/2010

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My son (with autism also) is almost 5 and he has extreme aversion to sitting on the toilet. I got tired of rinsing out underwear, and so did his preschool, so he is back in pullups. I contacted my local Regional Center for behavior counseling services. They observed and developed a system to gradually get Elijah potty trained, and to deal with the behaviors surrounding that. I know it is really frustrating!! Just be patient and know that it won't last forever. One thing that helps is making the bathroom a fun place to be. Put books, toys or pictures that your son enjoys by the toilet. It may lessen the amount of anxiety that they feel. My son loves dinosaurs, so we've got a poster in the bathroom. Slowly but surely....good luck!

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User - posted on 03/20/2012

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I have a nephew (who I have suspected since he was an infant that he may be autistic). He is four years old, will be 5 in October and he still is not potty trained. Sometimes he may use the bathroom but most of the time he just goes in his pants. I have urged for this child to be tested and I think that finally this may be going to happen, especially since he is suppose to start school later on this year. This child not only has special needs but he has lost both of his parents (both are deceased). His great grandmother has custody, I try to help with all that I can. Anyway, I too would be interested in any suggestions that would be helpful to help him understand that he shouldn't potty in his pants. Thanks.

Coralie - posted on 12/01/2010

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Isnt it funny how they can quite often not go overnight! My son is older but didnt train til after he was at school when I think peer presure (for once) actually worked!! At home we used a reward system. I used the hand signal for toilet and also compics (picture of a toilet on a small card) this was great especially when out in public because he was embaressed at being asked all the time. He kept the picture in his pocket and showed it to me when the need arose. If i though he need to go I used the hand signal. It is a loooonnnggg process but it should come :-)

Megan - posted on 11/15/2010

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Ladies, I have to say this post motivated me to try again. We got the potty watch, and we were going every half hour, but it was hit or miss if he would go, and he wasn't staying dry between, even though it was only half an hour. Thursday I was frustrated and tired of changing wet underwear and said screw it, I would let him run around without any sort of pants and just clean up the floor when I heard the pee make a puddle. It NEVER happened. Since then, during the day we have had ONE accident (when he was tired and about to go to bed). He still cannot go all night, and we are doing a fair amount of prompting, by asking a few times an hour, but if he really needs to go he will ask! I am SO excited.

Jennifer - posted on 11/15/2010

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Hi! I have 6 yr old twins and one has Autism (my son). He just pooped on the potty for the first time last night! As many of the below replies, my son has been going to school in underwear and has had few wet accidents but as soon as he gets home I see the signs that he has to poop. I tried so many times to have him sit and he would but couldn't figure out how to go (or at least all at once) There were countless days that I changed a dirty pullup several times before he was done. He seemed to be holding it and there were several times he would go days sometimes a week or more without a full bm. (Be careful he does not get constipated) My son is a collector and wanted squinkies......it's a new pencil topper/toy. I told him if he went on the potty he could have one. Many times he cired for one but I didn't give in because that was the only thing I could figure he wanted and might motivate him. Last night he was in the tub and when he got out I saw the poop signs. I asked him if he wanted to try sitting on the potty and reminded him of the squinkies. He sat down and went!!!!!!!! The warm water must have helped him. We celebrated for at least 20 minutes! It's just the beginning but I will take it! i told him every time he goes he can have a new one (they are only .50 each).....find something that will motivate your son and create a chart (my son is a very visual kid and loves to color in each sqaure or put the sticker/stamp on it). Maybe you could give him 1 sticker/stamp for trying and 2 if he actually goes. (I have also used a jar with marbles in it-when the jar in full he gets a prize. You can use this for anything he needs to complete - therapy, picking up his room, general good behavior etc - on the same note if he does not listen he could loose marbles.) Once he gets maybe 10 stickers/stamps or a full marble jar he can pick a prize. I have a prize box with small toys, coloring books, reading books etc inside. The kids love to pick a prize and unwrap it. If you go to the dollar store or buy small toys in a package the cost should be low. My daughter (who is typical) wanted a prize as well. They are twins and to be fair she gets a prize if she has a week or good days at school. Whatever works for your family and gets the job done. Just know that you are not the only one out there sturggling with this! Good luck!
Jen

Elizabeth - posted on 11/12/2010

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hi ashley! My 7 year-old son didn't really go the toilet until this year. We started him with a routine every night where after brushing his teeth, he would just pull down his pants and just stand in the toilet even if he is not making a wee. We just count until 60 and then he will pull it back again. We did this for a couple of months and then one day, he just made a wee. From then on he would just go whenever he feels like it. Although we are still working on when he makes a poo which takes longer. Hope this helps.

Maria - posted on 11/12/2010

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While this may not be the case with you, my son was in diapers until he was 7 years old. What helped me the most was the concept of successive approximation. First he sat on the toilet with the lid down fully clothed for 30 sec, l min, 90 sec, etc. Then he sat fully clothed on the padded potty seat. Then with diaper on on the potty seat, then bare-bottomed on the potty seat for 30, 60, 90 seconds. All the time we gave him a reward of his choosing. (A bite of his favorite candy or something). Finally we worked up to he only gets the reward if he leaves something behind. (Tee-tee first, then eventually "#2"). When it came time for him to actually leave something in the toilet, I bought him a TV tray and put it in front of him so he could play with play-doh or MoonSand. It helped to pass the time and relax him. We started sitting on the potty 1 or 2x/day and worked up to hourly until he actually went. Well into the process I took his diaper in the morning and wouldn't let him have another until he "went" in the toilet. It was a long process but ultimately he decided that diapers were for babies and that he didn't want to wear them anymore. It was a gradual process.

Helen - posted on 11/12/2010

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Dont worry,my son is nearly 6years of age and still not toilet trained,this is not an unusual thing for an autistic child,so dont worry,

Rachael - posted on 11/12/2010

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It's not so much "training" as timing,,,,, Timing, timing, timing.... When I got my head around this it all came together. My son is Sev. Autistic now 8 year old, no speech. He was just 6 when he started doing wee's in the toilet and it was a matter of taking him on a regular basis - not too regular (we mapped him for weeks - when he was wet, when he was dry etc.) to get the best results and outcome you need to do this. Check their nappies on the hour to gather the data... a few weeks is enough to get an idea of "around" the time to pop them on the toilet. Lot's of cheering and clapping on the successes.... We had tried when he was younger a few times and he wasn't ready - not even close. The School supported us by all of us following the same regime and within a month or two no more accidents. If I didn't take him there would be however.... so it's up to me to promt him or he would have accidents. The Poo's however are going to take a little longer. Will sit but wont do it in the toilet. Has to have a nappy on for this.... Time and patience and EVERYONE has worked hard in this area to get their kids going on a toilet let me assure you, your not on your own! Take your time and a deep breath and when you are ready to try again, map, prompt and cheer!!! It does happen!!!

Sara - posted on 11/11/2010

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It's taken time, but we started seriously training my son when he turned 4. We started by just establishing a potty routine (pants down, sit, wipe, flush, wash hands) even though nothing was going in the potty. Keeping a log to track his natural patterns of wetting and having bowel movements really helped us know when to aim for getting him on the potty in time. Switching to underwear was a pain, but helped us know really quickly when he was going, and helped him be more aware. We took a weekend to do a "potty party" intensive potty training. It paid off in making me aware, and him aware. Within two weeks I knew just how long he could hold it, what toys/distractions would help relax him enough to actually go, and what reward was most rewarding for him, etc. We still need to bring him to the potty regularly, but he can do it himself and has even gone independently several times. He's great at holding it and stays dry all night, only having accidents occasionally. I needed tons of patience, but what a relief to be on the other side! You can read more details about our potty training ideas on our personal blog: http://www.findingjackson.com/127/succes...
Hope it helps!
--Sara

Sara - posted on 11/11/2010

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It's taken time, but we started seriously training my son when he turned 4. We started by just establishing a potty routine (pants down, sit, wipe, flush, wash hands) even though nothing was going in the potty. Keeping a log to track his natural patterns of wetting and having bowel movements really helped us know when to aim for getting him on the potty in time. Switching to underwear was a pain, but helped us know really quickly when he was going, and helped him be more aware. We took a weekend to do a "potty party" intensive potty training. It paid off in making me aware, and him aware. Within two weeks I knew just how long he could hold it, what toys/distractions would help relax him enough to actually go, and what reward was most rewarding for him, etc. We still need to bring him to the potty regularly, but he can do it himself and has even gone independently several times. He's great at holding it and stays dry all night, only having accidents occasionally. I needed tons of patience, but what a relief to be on the other side! You can read more details about our potty training ideas on our personal blog: http://www.findingjackson.com/127/succes...
Hope it helps!
--Sara

Angela - posted on 11/11/2010

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My youngest son is fixing to be 6 in Dec. and is almost potty trained. just be patient and it will happen. make it into a game he will come around.

Heather - posted on 11/11/2010

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I used M & M's for reward for my son everytime he went potty n the toilet, he'd get 1. This quickly became a game! LOL! But it worked!

For my daughter (now 4) she was afraid of the toilet for a couple years. But then toilets in public restrooms intrigue her, so I tried starting there. It has to be a private one, not one with alot of stalls, b/c when the toilets flush, it puts her into panic mode. But we knew where the private ones were, so we spent alot of time OUT, in the mall, and stores, and she thought it was FUN to go to the bathroom (a game) in public restrooms. As long as the toilet didn't flush! So that's how she learned. She' not fully trained though, when she's at preschool she still has accidents regularly. When her assigned assistant can be totally devoted one on one with her, she does fine, but when there are other distractions from other children's crying/fits, or a simple change of routine, then that's when she has her accidents. She hates to wear pull ups (sensory issue for her) so I just have to send several changes of clothes with her every day.

Good luck!

Donna - posted on 11/09/2010

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when my son was 4..we had the same issues he attended DLC classroom and with permission of the other parents who had male children it was a buddy system approach...yes sounds like an infringement on dignity...but kids need models so they learn..and potty training is the same...

Jill - posted on 11/09/2010

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I have a boy who is 6.5 now and when he was 4 he was not potty trained and showed no signs of really caring if he was wet or #2. I just decided that he is never going to be potty trained unless I took him out of pull ups. So I did and he wet and #2 in his under ware until he got it. I followed a bathroom schedule that I down loaded from a book called "Steps to independence" recommended by the ABA people we were using to get an idea of what his patterns were. After that I took the pullups away and off we went to trying to get him to want to go on the toilet. He had an adversity to sitting on the toilet when we started but as we kept doing it he got use to the schedule and the idea that he needed to sit on the toilet to go instead of go in his pants.
I was almost positive he was understanding what I was asking of him. It took quite some time but I did not turn back once I did it. It has taken us until now to get him to say he needs to go # 2 on his own. The going potty took about 6 mths. for consistency.
I really thought it would never happen but it did. Consistency and lots of patients is the key. Our next step is the night time pull ups. It is better to do it now while you have some control. Once he is in school it is a lot harder. Lots of luck. Don't give up.

Mary Beth - posted on 11/09/2010

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Our son didn't like the feel of the potty. I am not sure exactly what made the light click on one day, but when he told me that he needed to go poop one day, i mentioned that lets try the potty and he didn't fight me on it; this wasn't until he was about 5 1/2. As far as the peeing, he only did it standing up and that was only at 3 years old.

Just keep working on it and don't make it a big fight.

Jodie - posted on 11/08/2010

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Hi There, i have a 8 years old son who is autistic, we still have difficulty getting him to go to the toilet and doing his poos, rewards are good to.

Diane - posted on 11/05/2010

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I saved this from our potty training days about 8 yrs ago:

Guidelines for Potty Training Program-

1. When beginning the potty training program, be sure that the child is wearing
regular underpants. Diapers or pull-ups may only be worn each night while the child is sleeping, but should be replaced with underpants when they awake.

2.Keep the child’s bladder full most of the day by giving the child as much fluid as they can drink. Do not give the child salty foods in order to create an EO to drink. Salty foods will cause the child to retain water.

3.Take the child to the bathroom every 30 minutes. Stay on the potty for 10-20 minutes or until the child voids. If the child does not void, instruct them to put their clothing back on using minimal prompts and allow them to leave the bathroom. Boys should also be sitting on the toilet.

4.If the child voids during this time, provide tangible reinforcement and praise immediately. Prompt them as little as possible to pull their clothing back on and allow them to leave the bathroom.

5.Every 5 minutes, check the child to see if they are dry. Put the child’s hand on their pants so they can check themselves. If the child is dry, provide reinforcement and praise.

6.If the child is not dry during “dry checks”, be sure they touch the wet pants and tell them where they are supposed to urinate. Then immediately take them to the bathroom. Prompt them to sit on the potty, and then prompt them to stand and pull their wet pants back up (use the minimal amount of prompts required). Immediately return to the spot they urinated in and follow the routine again. Repeat this positive practice procedure five times. Use full prompting if necessary. After the fifth practice, change the child into dry clothing and have the child clean the spot where the accident occured. Do not provide a lot of attention at this time. The positive practice procedure is not fun for the child.

7.Typically, children will have many potty accidents when you first begin this procedure. Do not get discouraged. Continue to implement the positive practice procedure.

8.The first time the child self-initiates, stop scheduling the child for potty time. At this point you will not schedule them again. If you continue to schedule the child they will become dependent on the schedule and not initiate.

9.Be sure to continue to fill the child’s bladder with fluids. Initially, more accidents will begin to occur. Use the positive practice procedure when this happens.

10.The accidents should cease within a short period of time. Usually the child will then begin to initiate frequently. If the child self initiates one time and never initiates again (over the next two weeks), start scheduling them again.

11.A requesting repertoire is not a pre-requisite for this procedure. You should not be requiring the child to mand for potty during training (do not prompt them to ask for the potty).

12.After the child has had 20 consecutive initiations with no accidents you may stop forcing fluids.

13.When you are ready to try to take them to the store or other public places use the following procedure: Fill the child’s bladder before you leave so that they should need to go as soon as you get there. Find the restroom as soon as you get to the store. Walk in with the child but say nothing. Walk to the stall and show them the toilet. See if they will initiate. If they do not, try using minimal prompts.

14.Bowel training: Accidents of this type will continue to occur after the voiding is under control. Resist the temptation to put the child back in diapers. Do not use positive practice for BM accidents. Only require that the child clean the mess. Eventually the child will begin using the toilet for BMs also.

15.If the child has a fairly regular bowel schedule you may want to try to schedule them and have them sit on the toilet for a while during that time.

16.Once the child is voiding and having BM’s in the toilet, it is then time to teach the boys to stand while urinating.

17.Once the child is self-initiating for a period of one month with no accidents, you may then teach them to mand for the potty by stopping them when they are walking to the toilet, temporarily blocking access to the toilet, and prompting them to mand for the potty. Do no teach the child to mand until self-initiation is strong.

diane

Annemarie - posted on 11/04/2010

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I have a 16 y/o that was having accidents at school until last year. The bus ride was over an hour and he sometimes didnt make it. I basically made sure he had at least 1 change of clothes in the nurses office. When he came home with wet/dirty clothes, I just packed him another set and took it to school the next day. Just be patient and once they are in school make sure their teachers know that she/he needs to have "free access" to the bathroom. Even in high school he still has the freedom to just get up and walk out if needed. He has gotten better about the accidents.. Patience and time is all I can suggest.

Marlene - posted on 11/04/2010

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i have to go directly to babies/ toys r us for the size 7 diapers... they are the only ones who seem to sell them.. i think you can order them online from them too... cheap they arent though. im spending about $42 bi-weekly.

Linn - posted on 11/04/2010

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I also have a 4 year old with autism who is not potty trained. He will sometimes pee on the toilet but it's not often. He is deathly afraid of pooping on the toilet and will go into full melt down at the mention of the idea. We have tried various reward systems including stickers, M&M's, praise etc. Nothing seems to make a difference. We tried thte no pants thing this summer. That didn't work either, he just didn't seem to get that he needed to go until he had already gone. His doctor and school both think he just needs more time> i would like to see him get potty trained at least during the day before he turns 5, But I doubt that he will do it. ( you never know though, he's surprised me before). Does anyone know of an affordable way to get pullups/diapers for a child when the outgrown the ones at the store?

Marlene - posted on 11/04/2010

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I've been reading all of the posts because i too have an issue with my autistic daughter not wanting to potty train. she is almost 3 1/2 and although i have tried- i dont push. problem is EVERYONE i know is telling me i am wrong for not pushing. problem 2 is that she is a 3 yr old the size of a 6 yr old. i buy the largest diapers that pampers makes (7) and can only find them at select stores. I have tried bribing with food, i have tried bringing her in every hour or so, reading books, playing, etc... she wont sit for too long. she doesnt seem scared of it and loves to flush the toilet, but no luck with actually going. i have let her wear big girl underwear which she wants to wear, she takes her diapers off freaquently. but give me 2 seconds to turn my back and there is the puddle. i have tried to figure it out- she seems to know when she HAS gone and not before she has to. She also wont own up to telling you if she is in the middle of going. not quite sure what to do- she is a big girl and strong. and when the meltdowns hit and i try to keep her on the potty- she just wont have it. i get kicked and hit and she squirms all over the place. im afraid she will hurt herself too. she has done this before. broke a tooth on the bathroom sink... should i not worry about it at this point? or should i just push like everyone is saying? i dont wan to tramatize her away from the bathroom.

Francine C - posted on 11/04/2010

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My 4yr old Grandson has been potty trained for 1 1/2yrs now he has been going to pre K his teacher had a system which began with every 15 min taking the child to the potty to get the child used to getting on and off the potty. when the child starts to use it start to move the time up to every half hour. its always good to have someone to back you up with reinforcing the program. also we made a timetable charts that we used everyday. with the times first every 15 min then the half hour when the child gets good at once every hour you as you go along you mark off whether the child pees or has a bm whether its a planned potty time or an accident and keep to this pattern until their potty train it worked for us. And yes hes Autistic too.

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My son with Pervasive Development Disorder did not take to potty training until 4 1/2. Do not push it until you really think he is ready! We thought he was ready for it, and did it in one weekend - just lived around the potty! It worked and he's never had accidents. Watch for the window of opportunity when it doesn't seem so stressful to him. It WILL happen! Keep up the wonderful work that you do with him!!!

Megan - posted on 11/04/2010

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I have a question, why is it wrong to bribe them to go potty?

Everything else in life seems to operate on a reward system. You work hard in school, you get good grades. You get a job, they pay you. So why is it wrong to use the same system on the potty?

Mella - posted on 11/04/2010

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I took a seminar for potty training special needs kids...they said to set up a schedule (every 30 minutes to an hour, then as he gets it, longer periods of time in between) and also to find something he really likes and keep it in the bathrooms, ours was chocolate, and then give him a reward every time he goes. It seemed like it was not going to work, but after a little more than 2 weeks, HE GOT IT. Happy dancing all over the house. I know people say it is wrong to bribe, but WHATEVER it takes is what I say. It is very trying dealing with issues with our kids, and anything that makes it easier is fine by me. They also suggested decorating his underwear with something he liked, my son's had trucj on them, that way they might not want to mess them up. Good luck! I hope he gets it soon. :)

Adria - posted on 11/03/2010

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My son is 7 now but what we did when he was 4 was put him on the potty every 15 minutes and everytime he went we gave him fruit snacks (which other than that no kinds of candy at all) and made a huge deal out of it. Then he got to the point where he would go to the bathroom on his own but since he didn't know how to pull his clothes down he would just stand there or sit down and pea or poop in his clothes while sitting on the toilet. We watched him and every time he headed to the bathroom we would just follow him in and help him. When he turned 5 the school district couldn't allow that and basically wouldn't let him go so it undid everything we had done but you may want to try it. It is better if he can talk. We slowly extended the time. If he didn't have any accidents 3 days in a row or in a week, we would go up 5 minutes - until he could hold it for 2 hours.

Adria

Joy - posted on 11/03/2010

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my son was about 5 before he finally potty trained. when he was 4 i was at my wits end. seemed the psychologist said it was more of an OCD issue. it wasn't that he couldn't do it, but that he preferred the way the pullup felt on his skin because that's what he was used to. So 2 hippie parents made a tough decision to let him take some OCD meds. it worked. all of a sudden he was in big boy pants and doing fine. we took him off the meds as soon as he showed signs of preferring the cloth on his skin rather than the pull up. He is 8 now and we still have to put one on him at night because he sleeps so heavy and sound. he gets really irritated before bed sometimes because he doesn't want to wear them. it's frustrating. but hoping his sleep patterns will get to a point where he will be able to hold it all night. it's just a slower process i think. good luck! :)

Sarah - posted on 11/03/2010

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my son was 5 before he managed it. my advice is don't try too hard and let him decide when he is ready x

Tonya - posted on 11/03/2010

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Yes, my son Michael has autism and yes he had a hard time! He had a real fear of the toilet as far as using the toilet for bowel movements. He would use the toilet to urinate. Does your son show signs of being fearful of the potty? Once I found out that he actually had a fear of the potty and he had severe sensory issues. I decided to potty train him in another way. Since he could use the potty to urinate he was encouraged to use the big potty for that and for his bowel movements he was taught how to get a pull-up to go in that. That eased a lot of anxities for him. He was going to pre-school at the time too and he wore regular underwear and he never had an accident. He was completely potty trained before kindergarten. Try not to stress over it because they pick up very easily when we are stressed and dissappointed with them. I hope this helped you some and good luck and God Bless!

Lorraine - posted on 11/03/2010

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hi there, have read your comment and my son who is also autistic and with a severe learning disability was also very hard to potty train.
He was in nappies until he was about 6 years old, but with help from his special school is very much able to control his bladder. He never has any accidents at all but his condition means that it will take bit longer than with other children.
Don't give up, speak to your health visitor who can give you all sorts of advice and even help out where the nappies are concerned.
it will surely come to him in the end.
I did hate the fact that my son was still in nappies at an age where they surely should be out of them, but patience and understanding will help him get through it.
good luck with it.
xx

Cheynee - posted on 11/02/2010

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Hi Ashley,
I have a 4 yr old son with autism who is currently potty training... sort of. I tried potty training at 2yrs old with no luck so I figured it would come in time. About a month ago he did his first wee on the toilet at school :) He wont tell u when he needs to go, but 70% of the time he will go as soon as u put him on the toilet. Its a small step, but we're getting there. So be persistant, at every nappy change pop him on the toilet. It worked for Jordan... even if it took 2 years :) Good luck x
Cheynee

Wanda - posted on 11/02/2010

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I am assuming the other child is a girl, and you must remember that girls generally potty train earlier. It is not uncommon for a boy not to be fully trained at four. You need to make sure there is a benefit to using the potty. My one son only wanted to pee outside. Each one has their own thing. What motivates him

Melisa - posted on 11/02/2010

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My son is 5, will be six in December, and has Aspergers. He will pee in the potty but will NOT poop in the potty. He goes to school in underwear and only rarely comes home with a trace of poop that needs to be changed, and he never has pee accidents. He basically holds it until he gets a pull up on at night. We use the pull ups for this reason, and because he sleeps too deeply to wake up to go potty. When we try to put him on the potty --total meltdown!! Keep up with the advice! He has always had problems with the bulk consistency as well -- it is usually a little tarlike. Any ideas?

Erica - posted on 11/02/2010

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My son with autism didn't potty train until he was almost 5 and he just did it on his own.

Michelle - posted on 11/02/2010

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What worked for us was taking away the diaper. She was fine to go in her diaper but felt very differently about underwear. It meant a messy few weeks but she was potty-trained inside of a month. We did wait until she was going all night with a dry diaper; that was a sign that she could hold it given the willpower.
We still have issues with toilets however, that was a lot of it for her, the sensory of the flushing toilet. She does well with handles, freaks out with toilets that flush automatically. Suspect we'll be working on that for a while.

Jessica - posted on 11/02/2010

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My boys didnt get it or were not ready to do it until they were almost 5. I work in a autism program at the kids school part time and we have 7 year olds that are not potty trained yet. It really is one of those things they have to be able to get all around before training can really start.

MICHELLE - posted on 11/02/2010

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Hi Ashley, Good luck, my son Refuses to do it. He did it in sleepaway camp when other kids did, but nothing since.

Kay - posted on 11/02/2010

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It takes a very long time. Just be very consistent and offer rewards. I hate to use food, but it does work.

Anina - posted on 11/02/2010

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It is a known problem for many children on the Autism Spectrum. My son is 11 and still occasionally wets the bed or has an accident.

We used a picture story to explain the process and remind him of the procedure and a reward chart. Other than that I can only advise an ample supply of clean trousers and patience!! It is so hard sometimes, but the bigger deal you make of it and more stressed out you get the bigger issue it becomes.

Good luck. It is so hard but it will happen when he is ready :)

Louise - posted on 11/02/2010

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My son is nearly 8 and is still wet at night and has to use pull ups for opening bowels. Ive been told not to push him and it will all happen in his own time. Meanwhile, he is very slowly coming around to the idea of going to the toilet, but remains wet at night. I get nappies through the NHS as they are so expensive to keep buying. Speak to your school nurse ! Good luck

Jennifer - posted on 11/02/2010

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We have been very patient with potty training and my son has recently become potty trained with urinating and he is 4. He also loves to use public restrooms...it is so very exciting! He goes to school in underware and he does not have accidents. the problem is that he will not poop in the potty...in fact, he is very upset by the prospect. He will ask for a diaper as soon as he gets home from school so that he can poop. Any suggestions here? Perhaps, I should continue with the patience approach, however, I would like him fully trained by age 5. thanks!

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My son wasn't potty trained until he was about 5. It was a long process. He really didn't show any results until he was in school. They had him on the potty like every hour on the hour and we tried to keep up the schedule at home. Then the summer before he turned 5 something clicked and he started doing so much better on his own. He is now 9 and has some accidents at night (not often) but that is it. It just takes time, and a lot of patience.

Megan - posted on 11/01/2010

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Oh, one other thing. Even when Soren HATED going at home, when we went out to stores and such, if I even whispered the word potty, he was excited to go. I think I have seen every public toilet in any store I have been in in the last 6 months. I have no idea why but the thrill of a new toilet never fails. and he ALWAYS pees in them.

Marta - posted on 11/01/2010

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My son was 5 before he would use the Potty. He knew what to do and the sensation or feeling of having to go to the bathroom, he was afraid of the toilet. One day this past summer something just clicked and he starting using the big potty. A big part if it was watching he little brother going through the process of potty training and the "big deal" we made when Nicky use the potty. It has been been 4 months and you would never have known it took him so long to learn.

I think that when your son is ready it will click. Keep encouraging him to go be patient, it will happen.

Oh yes and the other thing that helped was we bought something called a "peter potty" it is a child size urinal for use at home. My boys both loved it.

Megan - posted on 11/01/2010

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I am in the same situation. My son is 4 and a half and not potty trained. However, I figure it will come in time. He can hold it all night, and once when his diaper fell off and he didn't wake me up, he held it till I put a new one on him (I don't know how long it was, but the old diaper was cold) We just keep taking him potty at least once a day with much praise and stickers (and an occasional candy). I know eventually it will stick and he will want to do it, just like he eventually wanted to do other things. His special needs teacher just suggested a product called a potty watch to help him, so I might have to go find one. Good luck.

Judi - posted on 10/31/2010

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It's one of those things that is hard. There are the sensory issues, awareness issues, know when to go and what muscles to use. these are all challanges. We had sucess with the "Tom's toilet Triumph" video and book. Plus don't be afraid to try and try again. if it goes pear shaped, have a break and then try again.

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