What to do to secure my daughters future, she cant keep a job and I'm not going to live forever.

Sandra - posted on 12/27/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




What direction should I take to help her, what are my options?


Gail - posted on 12/27/2012





My son is only 3.5 years old, and he is considered very low functioning, mainly due to his excessive stimming behaviors and complete lack of functional speech. He may learn to talk - eventually - and he may outgrow his behaviors - eventually - but these are not given.

My father was a wealth management professional (currently retired) and has been a huge source of help to me, both financially & emotionally. One of my BIGGEST worries has been my son's future and providing for him. Once we got some plans in place to secure his future to SOME EXTENT financially, I have been less depressed, less stressed, and more able to focus on the here & now, and what I can do now to help him learn to talk & functiont in the real world, rather than brooding over an uncertain future, and its accompanying ifs & buts.

First of all, if she would qualify, get her set up to collect SSI. Additionally, she may be eligible for an adult "child's" SSDI benefit, on a parent's earning records. You may want to spend on a lawyer to help you through this, as the laws are very complex and SSA is notorious for denying claims, even in very deserving cases.

Second of all, if you have any assets - such as a house or money in the bank or a life insurance policy or 401K etc - then you can specify, in your will or a living revocable trust, for a special needs trust benefitting her to inherit these assets, after your time. Again, you may want to contact an attorney to set this up, to ensure you do this right. SSI & MEDICARE are typically denied for disabled adults with more than $2000 in assets, although a house & a car are exempt. HOWEVER, if this house or car is sold, then she will suddenly have more than $2000 in assets and will be denied SSI & MEDICARE. Reinstating these will be a Herculean task, so I urge to contact a lawyer to get this all set up the right away, while you are still around, so you can provide for her future to the best of your ability.

Thirdly, you may want to have her referred for psychological / social skills / employment training, depending on why she is unable to keep a job. Also, you may want to look at jobs that do not need excessive people contact, such as medical transcripion (work from home positions, usually), etc. This way, she can avoid the pitfalls typically associatd with working in a corporate environment full of workplace politics and such, while still earning an income to sustain herself. She may not be able to 100% avoid people, but will be able to get away with dealing with them as little as possible. This is assuming that social skills are her area of need / weakness, and a reason she is unable to remain employed for very long.

Finally, if you have no assets, depending on where you live, your dàughter may qualify for housing benefits. I am in California and I was told that the Regional Centers will provide housing subsidies and group home living assistance for adults who are so disabled as to not be employable. Of course, this should be your last option. The ideal thing to do would to be find out why she is unable to hold down a job, address those issues, and help her work around her challenges, as I suggested above.

If this is not possible or if this is not working, then do contact a lawyer about how to secure her future, with a combination of government assistanc & personal inheritances.

In our case, since we are on the verge of getting rid of our under water house to move to a more affordable county, and have limited assets other than this, we took out whole life insurance policies on his father & I, with a special needs trust as the ultimate beneficiary. So, our son WILL have money eventually for his basic needs, and that in combination with SSDI & MEDI-CAL should help him get by. We might eventually buy a small condo, titling it to the special needs trust too, so that he wll have a roof over his head, long after we are gone.

This is all, of course, assuming that he will eventually function adequately enough to live independently. If that, God forbid, does not happen, and he ends up in a group home, the condo can be sold and the money held by the trust in a bank account to pay for his expenses for as long as possible.

Good luck - I really hope, though, that you can figure out what your dàughter's real challenges in the world place are, and get her the skills & training that she needs, to be able to work & live independently & productively for the rest of her life.

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