Who should get a job: My 19 yr old DD or me? Solo Mom w/3 ASD sons.

Cheri - posted on 07/19/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )




I've been flying solo the past 6 years. My sons were diagnosed after my youngest child was born.
My eldest is my daughter who refuses to work or go to college. She barely lifts a finger around the house. Money is getting tighter as the boys age. Clothing and food are NOT cheap. I know that I could work, but I know that my daughter won't do a very good job watching out for her brothers or keeping house. If I work, she never will. What do I do??? We have zero family support.


Ev - posted on 07/20/2016




Your daughter is an adult. Either she gets a job or she can move out. Simple.


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Eager - posted on 07/21/2016




Hi, Cheri! Whether you realize it or not, your daughter’s behavior is increasingly common and I am so sorry to hear about what you’re going through right now. I feel setting appropriate boundaries with your daughter might be a good solution to your situation. A friend of mine faced a similar situation, and she found this article - http://bit.ly/29Z6gkA - very helpful in dealing with her adult child, hope you will find it useful, as well. May God provide for your every need, friend. Hugs!!

Etta - posted on 07/20/2016




You are providing everything your daughter needs and she is not doing her part as a member of your household. She is a young adult and needs to act responsibly in regard to finances. Her choices can be 1. Go to school full-time 2. Work full-time 3. School and work part-time. She can continue her behavior only if you allow it, so make a plan so she makes the choice to help out or get out.
There are some good books about boundaries and being an enabler by John Townsend and Henry McCloud. You are worthy of respect.

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