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People think i'm crazy when i tell them i did it at home

Serafine - posted on 11/24/2008 ( 24 moms have responded )

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but it was the most natural experience in the history of humanity. Plus all the stories i've heard from friends doing it in the hospital have ALL been sad or horrific stories. So it makes me wonder who's crazy...

24 Comments

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Miranda - posted on 04/08/2009

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Oh I also have to add that I was so excited about my homebirth afterwards that I was telling perfect strangers. lol I even told a lady in the grocery store at the deli counter & she got this shocked look on her face & said "you can DO that?? What kind of training did you have to have to do that??" I was dumbfounded that people think you have to have training(she actually thought DH had to be trained to catch! lol) to have a baby at home. She even asked who delivered the baby & I laughed & said I did but DH caught.

Serafine - posted on 04/08/2009

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Hi Chris-Rachel-



I see a picture of your gorgeous bubba! How did the birth go? Did you have him at home in the end?

Miranda - posted on 04/08/2009

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Don't you hate that?? I had my last one at home & I got so tired of hearing "you're having him at home!!?? YOu're brave!" My first thought...& sometimes my response..was Ummmm no I'm not brave, having one in the hospital is brave. I had my first 2 in the hosptial & wish I could go back & have them at home! It was the most amazing experience ever. It's almost hard to describe.

Katie - posted on 03/25/2009

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hi all i didnt have a choice but to have my second baby at home i was told by my midwife i wouldnt make it to hospital!! i was scared to death i hadnt even thought about a home birth. My baby was born in 20 mins in my bedroom weighin just over 8lbs. The best thing about it was as soon as i had had him my oldest came in and gave us both a cuddle it was the best feeling in the world and the fact that it was my birthday made it even better as i wasnt spending it in hospital. As long as you feel safe to do so i would recomend home birth to anyone.

Jemima - posted on 03/17/2009

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I had my daughter at home and found that friends were either really supportive of my decision or completely (and quite rudely) against it. I had comments ranging from "Are you a hippy/eco warrior?!" (I am neither!) to "You're putting your baby's life in danger!" Me and my partner knew why we were having a home birth and that was all that really mattered. My community midwife was really encouraging when I told her I wanted to be in my own home but she also made sure I was prepared to go into hospital should anything go wrong. I had no qualms with going in if the midwife thought it was the right thing to do - I completely trusted her. Luckily everything went really well, I can honestly say I enjoyed every minute of giving birth and can't wait to start planning baby no.2!!!!

Kaley - posted on 03/16/2009

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You are definitely not crazy. Just yesterday at a baby shower I got "you guys are crazy! Just give me the drugs!". AHHH. Frustrating. I've had this conversations many many times.



You are educated, confident and wise. We know that lowrisk births are absolutely safe at home with Midwives. I'm proud of us all for following our womanly instincts.

Danialle - posted on 02/07/2009

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In America it is frowned upon to and some states don't even allow it. In indiana where I live, the only LEGAL homebirths are with Certified Nurse Midwives, lay midwives are illegal but still practice. I had a certified nurse midwife because I heard a couple bad stories about lay midwives leaving when things went wrong. My insurance also paid for most of my expenses with a nurse midwife who had to be licensed also. I don't know a lot of people personally who have done homebirth, but I keep up with my midwife and she has done quite a few since she opened her practice 1 1/2 years ago. She will only take on at most 4 cases a month. She is now trying to expand so better accommodate the community. I am so glad that I had the option of a homebirth even though it is frowned upon!

[deleted account]

i live in australia and as previously said it is frowned upon to have a home birth here. I also live the country so it would be twice as hard to try and organise for a home birth. My 1st born was born at a hospital after 5 hours with little tearing, my second was born at home as i did not have enough time to get to a hospital he only took 1 hour for the labour and birth. I did get taken to a hospital after he was born only as a precaution as i had gestational diabetes and he had to be monitored. but i was frowned upon for feeling good about hvaing given birth at home i should not have done it according to the midwives at my local hospital and i received a stern tlking to from them.

if i have no problems with my next pregnancy i am going to talk to my dr about another home birth but i will have a back up of hospital or calling the ambulance.

good luck to all those women who are allowed home births and dont get ridiculed for it.

Danialle - posted on 02/06/2009

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People think I am crazy too! I was 20 when I gave birth to my first child last July. I had origionally decided to go with a hospital birth but then I read the Book "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" and it changed everything for me. I switched to a midwife at 27 weeks. I am so glad I did. My cousin first got me into the idea of homebirth long before I ever became preggo. She had 2 of her 3 at home. She had planned on having her first in a birthing center, but chickened out at the last moment. So she was so proud of me when I went through a homebirth with my first. I had always considered home birth, but not for my 1st child. I could never go do a hospital birth now. My inlaws were so against it, but I told them I know my body can do this and I have faith in myself and my midwife. It was the most amazing experience of my life and I can't wait to do it agian! I have lots of friends who have had babies too and almost ALL of them have had c-sections or something wrong with their babies from hospital mistakes. I trust myself and my midwife much more than any doctor!

Danielle - posted on 01/20/2009

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I went to 44 weeks. My baby boy was induced and delivered at home weighing 4.6kg. 58cm long. He was and is beautiful. Everyonw was stressing why I was doing it at home, but I would not change a thing.

Brenda - posted on 01/15/2009

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I'm grateful for being in Canada - In Ontario the Midwives are covered by the government health care system. Although they are not able to deliver in all hospitals (each hospital has it's own regulations) they are legal to deliver in homes. My community hospital would not allow a midwife to come in and deliver (12 years ago) but the midwife had the ambulance service notified and ready in case of any complications. And now after many women petitioning and pushing forward, midwives are now allowed to deliver there!

So, yes, it's important to have a plan B.

Chris-Rachel - posted on 01/14/2009

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Yes in Australia we have all our anti-natal care at a hospital so Have been booked in there as a precaution. It is ten minutes down the road as a normal driver, I'm sure alot quicker in an ambulance.. I don't have a midwife as Australia is very anti-Home Birth and a Midwife costs a great deal of money. I do have a friend who is a midwife and although she cannot attend the actual birth for legal reasons (There is NO insurance for home-birth midwives) she will be doing imidiate post natal care and has recomended a Doula who I love and has the experience to 'Know when to call an Ambulance' as my midwife friend puts it.. Doula's are NOT medical people and should not be thought of that way.. But they can have the practical experience of many many births that they can tell when something's not right.. My Midwife friend will most likely be accross the road at the beach with my youngest (14mths) and will come straight back to assess any tears and bleeding and check bub over..



I am well prepared and well read..  So don't worry I have the back up there

Katrina - posted on 01/14/2009

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I completely understand. I had some complications after my home birth and did end up having to have an ambulance transfer and even the next summer people would point and talk about me. I had little kids come up and ask me about having my babies at home because their parents were too scared to come and talk to me and I talked to them like it was the most natural thing. Some people were amazing, others, I'm sure, thought I was crazy.

I work in a hospital settling (mostly) as a doula and it is horrible how many women are terrified of birth and feel the need to be "saved".

Serafine - posted on 01/14/2009

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Dear Chris-Rachel,



I wish the most easy and joyous of births!



I do, however, want to add that it is important to have a plan B at the hospital.



I'm sure you do after your previous experiences.



But a friend of mine who really wanted a home birth had to have her first in the hospital, then her second she managed to organize for home but the baby did not make it. They still don't know why. They live in Ecuador so maybe they were too far from a hospital or maybe the midwife was not up to it.



Make sure you've talked over the plan B with your midwife and that you feel very confident about this midwife- mine had 20 yrs experience and over 600 babies. Maybe just ask about those figures, etc.



I truly wish you the best- alot of it is about feeling prepared and feeling like this is what you really want.



Much love and let us know how it went!



 

Erin - posted on 01/13/2009

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We are planning a homebirth with our first due April 27th.  My family is very supportive but my husbands family thinks we are crazy.  We live in a small town in Kentucky and after hearing such horrible stories about the local hospital I think I would be crazy to have my baby there!

Ainsley - posted on 01/13/2009

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I had my first baby at home after 2 days of labor. I loved it right at the end when the midwife worked her magic and helped the head get unstuck from my anterior pelvic bone (a little narrow) and boom here came my baby. After it was all said and done, I was told I would have probably had to of had a c-section if I had been at the hospital. In the end, I barely tore, just hit a couple bumps in the road but nothing me, the baby or the wise women in the room couldn't handle.

Chris-Rachel - posted on 01/13/2009

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havn't had a Home Birth yet but planning one as I am due the 11th of Feb.. Have had 2 hospital births..






One was brought on by a traumatic event and the other induced and both were traumatic both physically and mentally..







Planning a free water birth at home.. getting a bit nervous but excited at the same time.. So hopefully everything will go well.. I get lots of critisizm I think my in-laws don't approve but they are nice enough to not say anything.. Most people have been polite but I see thier 'Your Crazy' looks espeacially when I tell them it's unassisted.. I find the most place I find sceptisizm is funnily enough at church where you think women would put a bit of faith into thier God and thier bodies.. But this is apparently not the case.. Woman these days are so BOUND by preconcieved ideas that they are not good enough..






Only 4weeks left..





 

Serafine - posted on 12/14/2008

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I think these are very important testimonials- i wish we could get them out to women who are trying to make that difficult decision!
Here is a facebook site that could use your support: Homebirth is not a crime
Check it out...

[deleted account]

I had two hospital births, complete with epidurals, then had a homebirth. Ahhh, the difference. We felt so safe, so respected, and so cherished by our team of midwives. I honestly felt safer than I did during my hospital births. I'll take being the center of attention for an experienced midwife over being monitored via telemetry in a hospital bed any day!

Sarah - posted on 12/10/2008

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I tried to have my first daughter at home but wound up being rushed to the hospital. My second daughter however I had at home and it was such a wonderful experience. So different from my hospital birth. I was so grateful I was able to have her at home because it ensured a natural birth. The baby was posterior and it took me 41/2 hours of pushing to get her out, but she was so healthy and beautiful. If I had been in the hospital they never would have let me labor through that and I would have ended up with a c-section. I had two doctors, a nurse, and a midwife in addition to my mother and my mother-in-law who had 7 children at home so I had a fabulous support system and everything went so well.



If women would just be reasonable and open their minds I think more of them would be willing to deliver at home. There is nothing like being in your own bed and having your own bathroom after the delivery. And at home there are no mean nurses or other screaming women to bother you.

Serafine - posted on 12/05/2008

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oh yeah, being able to primal scream my head off in the privacy of my own home was very peaceful, strangely enough- i guess i felt at peace with this amazing process and i only recommend it to those who do. But it's a real shame that women are made to feel fearful about the most ancient act in the world (other than sex, of course- hmm, which came first?) - i kept thinking if billions of women before me have done it, of course i can too. My mother was in a cafe telling a friend about my birth when a doctor at the table next to her commented on how irresponsible i must be!!! My mother, who also had a home birth and wrote a book about different birth experiences, told him to go back to school and stay there. Sometimes it seems like people are so disconnected with the miracle and cycle of life.
My midwife arrived 5 minutes before and left 1 hour later ( and came back for visits) and that's all i needed. I had my man and friends and mother there and they wonderfully did all the rest. So if you are prepared and medically able to, go for it and feel the most cosmic intergalactic ride there is ( and believe me i've tried a few.)

Brenda - posted on 12/05/2008

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It floors me! I got similar comments! "That isn't safe!" "you can't do that, it's not legal" (lol). I remember telling a few women "You know it's covered by OHIP - the government actually supports homebirths", that got a few of them going! :)

I was 29 when I had my daughter - the thought of being told by a bunch of nurses to be "quiet" while giving birth or I might upset other mothers was enough for me to decide NOT to go to the hospital. I loved that the Midwife treated me like I was a miracle NOT a patient. Definately the most empowering experience I've ever had.

Rachael - posted on 12/04/2008

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When I was pregnant with my first I would get comments like "you don't look like you'd be the kind of person who'd have a homebirth" or "women like you have babies at hom?". I was like what the heck does that mean? All low risk women should be having babies at home and it shouldn't be scary or thought of as a weird thing...... only in this country I tell you. What happened?

Brenda - posted on 12/04/2008

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Isn't that a true statement!

I had four days of back labour and finally delivered a beautiful girl at home in my own bedroom (where I could rest comfortable).

My story mostly shocks people and I'm sure they feel I'm crazy!

I find it shocking that there are so many narrow, fearful minded women in the world.

We need to embrace our power and magnificance! That's how felt after giving birth and I could only hope that all women know that feeling! We are amazing! :)

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