How can someone participate in the miracle of childbirth and still be pro-choice?

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Lyssa - posted on 02/15/2012

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although i do believe childbirth is a miracle, i also believe it is a womans choice. there are many good reasons that women have abortions, and obviously some very selfish ones. but it's not my body, so who am i to judge that person? the only thing that makes me angry is when women use it as a form of birth control, that's just being ridiculously irresponsible. having multiple abortions for that reason, is the only time i'll be judgemental about it.

Alison - posted on 04/10/2012

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How can people take the time to post a question when they don't want to hear the answer. If you really want to understand, I'm sure you'll figure it out. In the meantime, I am not interested in joining your tiresome "debate".

DoubleA - posted on 04/09/2012

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And women and fought so long and hard to get rights. And some of you people just want to throw that away and not let each women have their individual rights. You are a disgrace to the women nation. I appreciate my rights and I would prefer you to just keep ur antics to yourself and go live in your own world back in the 20s where women didn't have a say in anything and were to shut up and put up!

DoubleA - posted on 04/09/2012

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So if I was out partying all night. Doing drugs. Been to rehab 3 times. Can't stay cleaned. Was raped in an abusive relationship with the guy who wouldn't let me give the baby up for adoption... I shouldn't have an abortion? If my birth control failed and I was a hard core drug user. Should I have an abortion? If I couldn't afford birth control and had sex once and took the morning after pill? Still no abortion? What if Charles Manson was the guy who raped me? Or the father of my child?what if I had the baby and placed them up for adoption but the child was mentally challenged or had a disability and no one adopted the child? I wonder if the foster parents are there for just the money or if my child was being sexual molested or beat. That's a far better place for a child then death right. And what if that child being raised in that setting was the one who brought a gun to your child school and shot your child? Bad parenting then? No ones planning your life and the way you should live it but yourself. No one knows what's best for ur situation but you! It's every persons individual right! Abortion is wrong for the wrong reasons but there's plenty of reasons and what ifs that to take women's rights away is wrong! Either way a women will find out how to get rid of an unborn baby. Casey Anthony is a pyscho. She should have had an abortion. And if I decided to not have an abortion for the 20th child who do you think is going to be paying for it. You are as a tax payer for my child's healthcare and everything else.

Pam - posted on 02/12/2012

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Also I realize this is a statement, not a question. In any fashion, it's an indirect way of being punitive to pro-choice woman who have had children. It has many silent statements attached to its abundance of judgmental faucets. I wonder about all the negative thoughts that must have passed through your head before posting such a passive aggressive statement on a supportive mothers network?



The place this statement came from shouldn't be fed anymore than it has. Harboring hatred and being nasty to others will only sour your Sunday dear.



P.s. As much as I love childbirth, for my kids, I would fight for this option to be available in the future so they have choices.

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[deleted account]

Its not a moral compass... What good is morality, if women are hindered from exercising their right to free will. If we decided to include MORALITY in this pro-life subject then we would have to take into consideration that, if we were to abolish choice as every womans right then we would be subjecting those who did not or do not wan't their baby to involuntary servitude(due to circumstances unknown).Circumstances such as rape, incest, possible danger carrying the child to term and the inability to take care of the child.And adoption? right... the adoption system in this country is so unbelievably flawed i will not even go into that topic. No one including the government should have the right to tell me what i should and should not do with my body. I do not need the government regulating my reproductive freedom.Nor do i need the intrusion of pro-life enthusiasts telling me that i cannot have that choice. And i definitely do not like to see read or hear people who have absolutely NO idea what women who have abortions had to go through to lead them to that decision, belittle and be judgmental towards them. Abortion, is not something that most women land on easily. As i said you have no idea what reasons they had for undergoing what is possibly the hardest decision a woman can make. So dont sit there and judge women for making a decision that is their right. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

Pam - posted on 04/26/2012

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Thats what she said ... lol jk The pure facts of true historical events lead many to draw this conclusion, but that's a whole other conversation.

Noelle - posted on 04/26/2012

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And I can respect that you feel that way even if I don't agree or understand at all.

Pam - posted on 04/25/2012

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I guess it wouldn't be debatable if everyone agreed and that's okay too, I find some take the perspective that it is playing god and to them that is very wrong, and deemed against their spiritual law. There is not much room for movement with their type of thinking because it is deep rooted in religion, spirituality, and staunch belief. Like she said its a moral compass for her, and that must mean its apart of her spiritual foundation to think that way and that is fine. The best part of liberal thinking, is to each his/her own path. Still I do see that type of thinking is designed to judge harshly the morals/values and worthiness of others based on their morals handed down to them by their superiors in church or parental figures. It is also the base fundamentals of historical genocide, social assimilation, the republican/conservative political irony, and slavery. I will make no mention that I support it, but I accept it as apart of this society/world, and as something I cannot control. ;-)



I would also add, It doesn't bother me that people think lesser of me if I am pro-choice. She or those people are not the people I aim to please ;-) as long as it doesn't interfere with my life, the clubs my kids get into, or our quality of life, I say let them judge!

Sarah - posted on 04/25/2012

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You must also believe then that God makes mistakes. He decides who lives and dies and how that happens. If He gives someone the power to abort a pregnancy than He has chosen to allow those lives to be taken. I don't know if you believe in God, but if you do, you may want to review your Bible on passing judgments on others. We may not agree, but to insinuate that someone is less moral because they are pro choice (which by the way is NOT pro abortion those are two totally different things) is judgmental and high and mighty. We don't have to agree, but you need to respect others rights to disagree and not think it makes them less of a mother or less moral than you.

Noelle - posted on 04/25/2012

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Well, one could say its not anyone's right to play God EXCEPT God. (ie: taking the life of an unborn baby would be playing God).

We will never see eye-to-eye of course, but no big surprise. This issue is a moral compass and I don't have much in common with those that are pro choice.

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2012

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I feel as well that when you take away a woman's right to choose what to do with her own body if she should face an unwelcome pregnancy, it stands to reason you must also oppose birth control because it prevnets life too. Does this not condemn our gender to nothing more than vessels of Reproduction? Personally I think women are so much more than that. I believe in God. I also believe He sent people here to create contraception and medical abortion techniques because not every baby is meant to be born. Perhaps their purpose on earth is served by their brief existence in their mother's womb. Also, it is not ANYONE'S right to judge, that is for God to decide.

[deleted account]

Kallossit Dunn - I love you above post - you give a great position on both sides! I am pro choice - after working as a rape crisis councilor for many years I see no other choice than to be - I don't believe in late abortions and you cover that opinion beautifully with your comment on the morning after pill or an early termination! Great posts!.

Pam - posted on 04/21/2012

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lol sure... just so you know this is a debating forum, and opinions can be debated too. If it were to be factual, then it wouldn't be a debate. It would be fact. but yes, move on.

[deleted account]

@Kalloosit Dunn, if someone posted "facts" that some one else knew to be false then yes someone could challenge them. As I just posted my opinion then there is now cause for a challenge or an attack. It is simply my opinion and I'm not asking anyone to agree with them.

Pam - posted on 04/21/2012

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To further clear my position, if my husband and I accidentally got pregnant with our third, I would say, here we go again! and I would welcome that baby with open arms. I love pregnancy, and I'm not a monster at all. on contrary, If I were raped while say outside jogging then I may have to sit down with my family and consider an abortion, and that's if the morning after pill did not work. If I'm going to bring a child into the world, I'm not giving it up for adoption, I just dont have it in me to give a baby away, it would kill me, I'm an avid breast feeder, my natural reaction would be to stick my boob in its mouth and bond. With that in mind, I am pro-choice, and I am worthy of respect, I am a great person inside and out.

Pam - posted on 04/21/2012

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See that is where the two sides bump heads and enter a hot zone, to say Pro-Choice people think its acceptable to kill babies is wrong, because they dont see the unborn "embryo" as a baby yet. Pro-life people do, so there is the difference. Most amazing to me is the ways in which Pro-life debaters can demonize those who are pro-choice because of the simple difference in opinion. In actuality taking into consideration the difference in opinion, the pro-choice people are being considerate and understanding of the woman facing the life changing choice, before the embryo turns into a fetus. So technically, the pro-choice person is also being a humanitarian and feels they are being fair. I am debating in a debating forum, and there yes, exercising my right to my opinion as you are. Although here in Canada its not called an amendment ;-)

Noelle - posted on 04/21/2012

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I suppose you're right. I do not respect anyone's position that condones taking the life of the unborn (technically, those who are prochoice have the position- not the opinion that to kill babies is acceptable). I do however; respect you exercising your 1st amendment right about the issue on this thread. Does that make more sense to you?

Pam - posted on 04/21/2012

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well that is very big of you considering the ideology of which pro-life advocates come from, rarely do I ever hear "I respect your opinion" Still with notion in mind, I agree, neither side will ever see eye to eye, yet to say "I cannot respect a woman with that opinion" actively contradicts itself, so which is it?

Noelle - posted on 04/21/2012

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I respect your opinion. But it is clear we will never see eye-to-eye on this. And that's okay too.

Pam - posted on 04/21/2012

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To lose respect for another person over an opinion comes from a place that denotes superiority. As if your respect is something to be won, or lost, as if it is of great importance.

Personally, and only personally, for myself, I would not be able to go through an abortion as an informed and responsible for my own actions type of adult "BUT" who am I in the grand scheme of things to them and their life decisions? I wont be raising their baby, or finishing their school, I most likely wont ever see them again, who am I to put a bad memory in their head of being frowned upon in what could be one of their unforgettably difficult times in their lives? I certainly dont want to be "that" person.

I strongly feel that woman, young and old alike, are provided choices for various valid "for the person type of reasons" and that is a very personal choice to provide a judgement on. I feel it would be out of place to challenge another person on the personal choices they make in their lives, it would not only be invasive, it would be unproductive and hurtful. I'm sure most woman who have had an abortion wouldn't parade around telling the world proudly they have had one, but I'll tell you what I am sure about. They have gone through an emotionally difficult time, and to chastise them, and make assumptions of their integrity, and/or worthiness based on a legal and informed choice they made in their past, or even if its only the fact that they are pro-choice, come from a very high & mighty place of personal assessment on peers that would more likely benefit from emotional support. Its just very undesirable to add insult to injury on such a delicate and personal subject that someone obviously has put alot of thought into.

We can all agree that no one else lives in our minds, hears our thoughts, feels our emotions, or fights our internal battles. Judgments on others are never certainties,we can never really weigh what others go through with opinion. I for one, will not loose respect for other people I once deemed amazing, over an opinion. Alas, thats just me.

Pam - posted on 04/21/2012

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Another way of seeing it is that she could have been showing emotional support for a young girl who had an abortion. That could have been a very kind altruistic thing she did for another person, and could have been viewed as heroic from another vantage point...to risk being judged on such a controversial topic to show support to another kid who may have been saddened by her protruding belly after a traumatic time could have been viewed as courageous and brave.

Noelle - posted on 04/21/2012

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In high school I had a teacher 3 years in a row and as she became my favorite- my heart broke as I watched her go through miscarriage after miscarriage. My senior year she finally carries her baby. One day when she was about 8 months she came to school in a tshirt with the following words across her belly: "pregnant and pro choice"

I was sickened. I am to this day as a 37 year old. I don't know the answer to your question. I can't wrap my mind around that either. Sick, sad & bothersome if you ask me.

Pam - posted on 04/17/2012

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Your in a debate forum, so if someone feels the need to challenge what you say, its only fair to allow them their opinion on what you so strongly believe as well.

[deleted account]

There are far too many women who have more than one abortion and are using it as a form of birth control. No it isn't the easy way out for most women, but there are those that don't care. they don't care about themselves, otherwise they wouldn't be acting they are and they certainly don't care about their unborn baby. I don't believe abortion is right, to me it's murder.
I got pregnant when I was 18 and yes I was scared. But the second I saw my baby on the ultrasound at only 8wks pregnant and saw that little heart beat I knew that he was alive and abortion NEVER entered my mind.
Also I am not as cruel as some people thinking that if a girl/woman is raped that it is her fault, even if she is walking down a dark alley at night. Just because some creep sees a chick in that situation doesn't mean he has to attack her. That is all his doing, HIS choice not hers. And I can understand why she wouldn't want to carry that memory around with her for the next 9 months, but that doesn't mean I agree with the abortion. Adoption is ALWAYS and option. So many couples want to be parents and for what ever reason can't get pregnant.
This is just my opinion so please don't quote me in you next comment and start attacking what I have said, i didn't do that to any of you. Like everyone else here I have a right to MY opinion.

DoubleA - posted on 04/10/2012

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I was very anti abortion for the longest time. Until I was put in a situation where it may have been a choice. No its not the choice I made for my personal reasons and the fact that I just couldn't go through with it. There are harsh consequences from having an abortion. I know many peoPle who have had one and they said they never would again because of the damage it did to them.

Pam - posted on 04/10/2012

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Woman's rights is a great thing, isn't it? I'm sure most woman dont have those huge excuses when they do indeed get an abortion and to their discretion it is still their choice no matter their private circumstances. Sometimes its because they got drunk, had unprotected sex, and are in college or university and they are simply not ready. Having kids, I can understand a young ladies decision in that matter, as it would be hard to juggle both. In my experience though, people on either side of the fence will not see eye to eye for various reasons. The reasons in this issue go very deep and lay in the foundation of our belief systems, spiritual beliefs, political, and experiential. That said, the reason for my opinion is the sole fact that, I'm a liberal thinker, I believe in democracy, I am in no part a conservative/republican, I'm not religious, so there is no strong beliefs that hold me to feel strongly about anything in that matter.



I did however see on the show Medium that a woman that had a miscarriage once was rest assured that her baby was ok by "spirit" lol. While I do find her to be on point most of the time when watching her show, I'm a skeptic in nature, and possibly fear lol (I dont want to see more than we already do). I have two kids, and while personally I would not have an abortion after having my kids, I would not judge another woman for doing so, lest I be judged for my past decisions. I will more so want to take the pill then having to schedule one of those emotional traumas.



off topic though, there are so many things to worry about in the world, so many things, I wonder why so many are concerned with what another woman does with her own body. Those who are pro-life will argue that it isn't her body, its the baby she is killing, but at that point, pro-choicer would say "its an embryo" and then prolifer would say an embryo with feelings, and link us to a site where some doctor talks about the time he heard it scream. It becomes a very eyebrow raising topic, and can start to sound very crazy at times. Where the prochoicer may keep repeating themselves that it is about choice, woman's rights, and democracy, while prolife will say its about human rights, the rights of the baby (because they dont believe in the embryo stage) No matter what, they feel strongly about one thing, and we feel strongly about the other. In the end our heads hurt from butting them, and thats all that comes from it.

Kristin - posted on 04/06/2012

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Because I cannot tell another what medical decisions to make. My husband and I are rapidly reaching the point where our oldest will be in on the medical decision making for his health. We do not get to make medical choices for even our own offspring indefinitely. All we can really do is hope we taught them well and provided them with the best information we could so they can make the best choice they can for themselves.



If I had a daughter, we would start the conversation early and I would answer everything she wanted to know about as honestly as I could. I would tell her that should she choose to become sexually active before she wants to have kids, then she and her partner need to be smart and use protection. And if she had to make that brutal choice, I would go with her to learn about her options and talk with her about what we, her parents, could do to help her. And then, because my daughter felt she was adult enough for sex, I would let her make the VERY adult choice on her own. Any woman, EVER, who has terminated or shed or induced miscarriage of a pregnancy, lives with the end of it forever.



I can be pro choice after having 3 amazing and infuriating babies, because I got to choose when it was right for me to have them.

Christy - posted on 02/22/2012

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I have two beautiful children - a 15 yr old girl and a 12 yr old boy. I personally do not think I could have an abortion. But, if a young woman comes to me with an "unwanted" pregnancy ~ I will share ALL HER OPTIONS with her. I would hope that she would decide on adoption, but, if she decides she wants an abortion ~ I will go with her. I will hold her hand. I won't like it, but it is NOT MY DECISION. My job is to share all OPTIONS with a young woman. Educate her on all the options. That is how I could experience the miracle of childbirth twice and still be Pro-Choice. It is just that, a woman's choice.

Merril - posted on 02/20/2012

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I was much more completely pro-choice when I was single and before I had kids. After having my kids,(during my pregnancy I will add) I have changed my views from that to only considering abortion in the instances of rape, incest or when the life of the mother is in danger. I will also add that I think that there is no reason if you want one, to wait when you can have it in the first or at the most two months of pregnancy. The way that I feel is that I would not have one. I think that it's better to be preventive and use birth control, and I don't believe in using abortion as birth control.

Kelly - posted on 02/12/2012

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Yea. There's apparantly a few of us. Where abouts did you go to school? I've been in Melbourne, Australia my whole life. Have been to about 8 different schools though.

Kelly - posted on 02/12/2012

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I have a 2 yr old, a 3 yr old, and I'm due again in 2 weeks. I don't believe in abortion and I dont think I could ever get one without extreme circumstances. Abortion as a birth control. THAT is wrong. On the same level though, I am definitly pro choice. Pro choice is about respecting other poeples decisions and not judging them for that.

Pam - posted on 02/12/2012

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It's such a personal topic for many woman, and I dont think anyone can judge them until they have walked a mile in their shoes and seen from their vantage point. Until one can entirely stand and view the world from their perspective, feel their experience, understand whats going on in their hearts and hear the thoughts running through their heads, then its overrated to say anything to that woman experiencing her experience. I mean some people have made the latter decision, and went down an entirely different path, but that is the making of their own story, who are we to butt in? I can see where some of the overhead opinions come from, they feel if they can make one decision that everyone can make it, but its not that easy. Its a collection of individual experiences that only that one individual has crafted. Until we are that person and until we have lost our rights on what happens in our bodies then ultimately anyone's opinions in that woman's body are obsolete.



I've had two kids and I am pro-choice.

Sarah - posted on 02/08/2012

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BTW - The usual argument that abortion is morally wrong can not be held valid. Morals dictate that one conducts themselves in a way that ends in the greater good. It stands to reason that if you are morally obligated to do what has the most positive outcome that you are also morally obligated to seek out that goodness at all costs. Following this rationale, then you are actually in contempt of that moral obligation by not seeking out that goodness at every opportunity. Therefore every woman should purposely try to get pregnant every single month from the time of their first menstruation because they are morally obligated to seek out birth as it is the good, and the purpose of menstruation in the first place. This argument is ridiculous. No one would say that a girl should try to get pregnant every single month (I had my period at 11 - by this argument I should have tried to get pregnant at that age). This is not rational. Therefore, saying that it is morally wrong can`t be held as a valid argument. Having said that, debating on morals and passing judgement and cruel comments is contradictory and hypocritical. If you are preaching morals, don`t just pick and choose the ones you think you are able to follow. If you chose to have sex outside marriage, you choose to put others down, you choose to use harsh words and judgements to hurt others, then you are not a moral person, stop pretending to be.

Sarah - posted on 02/08/2012

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Because their choice was to have the baby. Pro-choice doesn`t mean pro-abortion. It means that someone respects a woman`s right to choose what is best for her. It`s not a lack of respect for birth at all, but respect for women`s rights.

Aurora - posted on 03/20/2011

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yeah, im not saying everyone agrees with me..obviously not! but this is just my opinion, just like you have said yours. i personally think that women shouldn't put themselves in situations that might result in someone taking advantage of them..like walking down a dark alley, how smart is that?



I cant believe your comment!!!!!! That's a disgusting thing to say!! How dare you blame the victim for being raped. Rapes dont always happen in dark alleyways, and even if they did, no one has the right to touch a woman unless they have given consent - whether its in a dark alley or not is irrelevant!! I was raped by a trusted member of my family - NOT in an alley! Luckily I didnt get pregnant, but if I had then I am certain that I WOULD of had an abortion. I have a beautiful 1 year old son who I love more than life itself, but just because I would have aborted my unborn child to my rapist doesn't mean that I love my son any less!!

I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH LAUREN! DID YOU KNOW THAT THAT MORE RAPES ARE CONSIDERED AQUAINTANCE-RAPE AND NOT STRANGER-RAPE. iF A GIRL IS RAPED BY HER FATHER OR BROTHER OR UNCLE AND GETS PREGNANT, SHOULDNT SHE HAVE THE RGHT TO NOT HAVE THAT BABY? i WOULDNT DO IT AND IF ABORTION WERE ILLEGAL THEN I WOULD GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!


LAUREN, SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT THAT HAPPENED TO YOU. AND KEEP ON TELLING IT LIKE IT IS!






PRO-CHOICE ALL THE WAY!!!

Ramona - posted on 02/11/2011

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Because I was capable of being a mother and providing a healthy life for my daughter. Not everyone is. A lot of people are not even capable of being an incubator. I would rather have an abortion than give birth to a child who had no reasonable chance at a productive life.

Melissa - posted on 01/30/2010

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Lacey you are closed minded and sheltered. There are many circumstances for rape.

[deleted account]

Haha how is this even a question?! A woman should definitely have a choice. I absolutely do NOT think that abortion should be a form of birth control! But there are instances where I think that an abortion really is the best option. There are already so many children in this world who are either being raised in an unhealthy environment, or have been given up for adoption and passed around the system. How is that a life that any child should live?

Theresa - posted on 12/01/2009

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I'm pro-choice, who is anyone to judge people on making the right decision for them, not anyone else. We would have so many unhappy people if we took away the choice. Let people live there lives as they please, we all have our opinons and our way of living our life, but we choose to live as we do, so let others. Abortion is not murder it is making a responsible decision for the life of that person, we are trying to stop unwanted pregnancies. so please dont judge people that choose that path, coz u wouldnt want people judging u on ur life.

Stephanie - posted on 11/30/2009

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ME! I have a beautiful one year old and I am still pro choice. The choice to have an Abortion is about having your reproductive rights as a women. Who owns your body? I don't know about you but I own mine. If Abortion was not legal it would be like not having the rights to your body . Having a baby is a huge important decision. No one should be able to control the choice to have a child or not.

Lauren - posted on 11/30/2009

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Quoting lacey:

yeah, im not saying everyone agrees with me..obviously not! but this is just my opinion, just like you have said yours. i personally think that women shouldn't put themselves in situations that might result in someone taking advantage of them..like walking down a dark alley, how smart is that?



I cant believe your comment!!!!!! That's a disgusting thing to say!! How dare you blame the victim for being raped. Rapes dont always happen in dark alleyways, and even if they did, no one has the right to touch a woman unless they have given consent - whether its in a dark alley or not is irrelevant!! I was raped by a trusted member of my family - NOT in an alley! Luckily I didnt get pregnant, but if I had then I am certain that I WOULD of had an abortion. I have a beautiful 1 year old son who I love more than life itself, but just because I would have aborted my unborn child to my rapist doesn't mean that I love my son any less!!

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