How do I get my 4 year old son to poop on the potty?

Jessi - posted on 07/05/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




I have had a LOT of trouble potty training my son!

I feel like I missed the "early window" when he was 2. I hesistated to train him then, because I was pregnant for the second time since he was born (his birthday 4/4/08, sister's 7/23/09 and 9/24/10). People told me that he would regress and have lots of accidents when the baby was born and I was so overwhelmed I didn't even try.

When we started training him, about a year ago, he was doing ok. He would go #1 when we made him try, but he would act very agressive. Mostly toward me and my husband. We stopped pushing him, because he was not self initiating and really pushing back against it. Even with treats including candy, toys and special outings with us. We still tried to get him to go, but stopped making him.

In March, he woke up one day and started going on the potty! I was so excited I thought the fights were over! He did pretty good for awhile, but still never pooped on the potty. I got tired of cleaning underwear with poop in it, so if we left the house, during nap and night time he would be in pull-ups or a diaper. So typically he would wait till then and poop. This also has led to him not asking to go pee either.

We basically have started over. We have taken all of his favorite toys and he can earn them back by peeing on the potty (after 10 times) or Pooping once! We have offered big rewards for pooping! Like $40 games and still no interest.

I am totally lost for ideas! I really didn't want to discipline him for not going, but I know he can do it and he is just choosing not to. He fights with us everytime we just try to get him to pee!

The one thing that was working a little bit is that he is really competitive and I told him his sister was going to beat him at going to the potty so he started trying. Well, she will poop on the potty, so now he just says he wins for peeing and she wins for pooping.

I know he's not going to college in diapers, but I would like to be done with this before he is 5! His not even 2 year old sister is trying to go on the potty!!



Brittney - posted on 07/05/2012




I think he is old enough to clean the accidents up himself (but not everyone feels this way). Stop using diapers completely and after plenty of accidents he will figure it out.


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Kimme - posted on 08/22/2012




Check out this site. Hope this helps you.

I don't know about cleaning it up himself but I do agree about taking the diapers off. Remember though that going to the bathroom is a private event and now that your child finds comfort and security in the diaper you must be gentle and empathetic about the transition. This is what he his comfortable with and know he is being asked to change that. You don't want to send a message that leaves him feeling guilt or shame with the system he already has and knows. Be patient and know he will eventually find his way to the toilet while you gently guide him. Also, here is a great book that therapist use for kids that have trauma around going number two. It may help also. Good Luck!

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