9 month old sleeping!

Elizabeth - posted on 02/08/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My 9 month old baby is still not sleeping through the night! The doctor told me its normal. She is still getting up atleast twice a night and sometimes will not go back to sleep unless I give her a bottle, which I know isnt good because I really dont think she should be hungry. She eats enough during the day. And another way she will always go back to sleep is if i put her in bed with me, which is a terrible pattern to start. How do I break this? Am I the only one dealing with this? I need some advice!

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Aimee - posted on 02/11/2009

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Good Luck Elizabeth, it is hard...no doubt, especially if you have a stubborn one...but you both need to stick to your guns and she will be sleeping through the night...I just put my little girl down (she took a later then normal nap) and there was no fuss, no crying...she was awake and WANTED to go to her crib and go night night...so it works...I can't wait to here how it all went!

Elizabeth - posted on 02/11/2009

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Thanks Jennifer, I just read you post to my fiance and on my way home from the gym tonight I will be stopping at Borders to pick the book up. My fingers are crossed!!!

Jennifer - posted on 02/11/2009

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We were having similar issues but were dealing with it, until Norah had worked up to getting up 4, 5 and 6 times a night. My husband and I just couldn't function that way anymore! After doing some research, we decided to buy Dr. Ferber's book and try his method. Ladies, it was like a sleep training miracle! The Ferber method basically teaches the child to sooth themselves the sleep initially and then back to sleep when they wake up at the end of a sleep cycle. I've heard of some kids crying for an hour or so the first night, but Norah only lasted 25 minutes. And you don't just let them cry the whole time with no reassuring- you go in every few minutes for a quick few seconds just so they know that they haven't been abandoned and then you increase the time in between your appearances. The first night she was asleep after 25 minutes and we didn't have to go into her room until the next morning!! We actually heard her wake up twice, but she fussed for a few seconds and then fell back asleep. We've only been at it a week, and she has woken up (crying in the middle of the night a total of three times. And she hasn't cried at all the last 5 nights when she goes to bed. It might not work this well for everyone, but it is soooo worth trying!! I feel like such a better mom now that I'm rested and not grumpy that she's up half the night. I can also tell that she feels better too - her mood during the day and her napping has improved! If you're ready to try something, I highly recommend the Ferber method - his book is worth every penny!!

Sara - posted on 02/11/2009

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I have read in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" that when a child this age wakes in the night and want to be fed to try just giving them water. Eventually, they will not even bother getting up, because they know they're not going to get fed. Good luck!

Elizabeth - posted on 02/10/2009

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Thanks for all the advice. I actually last night for the first time let her cry herself back to sleep and soothe her self and it worked. I hope it wasnt luck and this will continue to help. Im exhausted and think I would have much better patience if I did get more sleep, alone with herself. I find myself sometimes getting aggravated and running out of patience! But thanks everyone, I needed it!

Stephanie - posted on 02/10/2009

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I've used the BabyWise method and all 4 of my kids have slept ~8 hours a night by 2 months. You can start late, and it still works. It is a soothing themselves method. But hey, I think it's worth a few nights of crying, for a lifetime of good sleeping habits that form. :o) I hope you have success with what ever works for you! :o)

Julie - posted on 02/10/2009

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Hi, this also happened to me - my son was a great sleeper until about 6 months when he starting to wake in the night again from what, initially, was hunger. I had recently started him on solids so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and continued the night feeds for about 6 weeks or until I was sure he was getting enough food during the day. I finally decided enough was enough and one night I just didnt respond to his crying - I just wanted to see what he would do. Well, after 5 mins he stopped crying, went back to sleep and has never woken in the night for a feed since. Letting him cry it out doesn't neccessarily mean hours and hours of agonising screaming - just let her go for a few minutes and see what she does....you have nothing to lose and you'll wonder why you didnt do it sooner! I realised that 6 weeks was WAY too long to let this go on for. He didnt really need the feed and it was just a habit that was interrupting my sleep and his sleep too!

Angella - posted on 02/09/2009

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evening ladies...



i was too in this same boat until my lil guy was just shy of 6 months.  at that dr visit the dr mentioned letting him cry himself to sleep or self soothe.  i thought man oh man i can't do this.  a couple days later i went to out parenting meeting and my husband and i had a lengthy conversation with our leader.  she said try the ferber method.  which is basically crying yourself to sleep or teaching to self soothe.  the first night absolutely KILLED me!!!!!! however, after 15 min, he was asleep.  the next night it was 25 min.  the following night he just made some humming noises with his binky and he was good to go!!!  as each night goes on you would add 5 min.  after that you would go in and comfort the baby, leaving him/her in the crib.  i tell my lil guy " momma loves you baby.  it's nini time. you get soem rest."  i repeat it to him everyone night.  even if he is asleep when he goes down.  i will tell anyone who is having a hard time to try this.  yes it's hard...VERY hard.  but he had to learn to self soothe.  i now, at 9 months, i can lay him down awake, asleep, half and half and he goes right out.  like i said it's heartbreaking the first couple of nights, but it's for the childs best interest.

Aimee - posted on 02/09/2009

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Hi Ladies...



I have a 9 month old and on 12/18 she had tubes put in her ears because she was having so many ear infections...after the tubes the sleeping got better, but not great...she would wake up in the night.  Finally on January 2, I took her to the Dr to make sure nothing was 'wrong' with her...and the Dr. confirmed this...some tips she gave me.  She said to MAKE SURE that when you put you baby down to sleep for naps and at night, they are awake...they should be tired but awake...we were not doing this, part of her routine was a bottle, sleep then bed...The Dr said it was now her way of going to sleep, so if she woke up, she needed the bottle, in her mind, to go back to sleep.  Second...since we did all this, we had to let her cry it out...this excruciating!!!  The first night she cried for 2.5 HOURS!  I am a good mom I promise, but I am a way better mom with sleep...so my husband and I made a plan to be strong for each other...and we held out and she finally went to sleep...that first night was the worst...so then the second night it was 30 minutes...and I promise she cried for a little bit there after...5-10 mins for a couple of nights.  Anyway...she is now a GREAT sleeper, she starts getting tired and letting us know, but putting her head down where she is.  So at this time we scoop her up and it's off to bed...she she USUALLY, 9 times out of 10, does not protest!  She then sleeps from 830 pm to 7-730am!  It is amazing...so knowing she was healthy and didn't need to eat at night by the Dr helped...and that whole putting her asleep away was a charm.  I put her down tonight and she reached for her bed, grabbed her blankets and was probably asleep before I left the room.



 



It is really hard at first and you need to make sure your spouse is commited as well...We both feel much better getting 7-8 hours at night and some time to ourselves as well!



 



Good luck, I know it is the harsh answer, but crying it out is truely the way to go...



Aimee

Aimee - posted on 02/09/2009

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Hi Ladies...



I have a 9 month old and on 12/18 she had tubes put in her ears because she was having so many ear infections...after the tubes the sleeping got better, but not great...she would wake up in the night.  Finally on January 2, I took her to the Dr to make sure nothing was 'wrong' with her...and the Dr. confirmed this...some tips she gave me.  She said to MAKE SURE that when you put you baby down to sleep for naps and at night, they are awake...they should be tired but awake...we were not doing this, part of her routine was a bottle, sleep then bed...The Dr said it was now her way of going to sleep, so if she woke up, she needed the bottle, in her mind, to go back to sleep.  Second...since we did all this, we had to let her cry it out...this excruciating!!!  The first night she cried for 2.5 HOURS!  I am a good mom I promise, but I am a way better mom with sleep...so my husband and I made a plan to be strong for each other...and we held out and she finally went to sleep...that first night was the worst...so then the second night it was 30 minutes...and I promise she cried for a little bit there after...5-10 mins for a couple of nights.  Anyway...she is now a GREAT sleeper, she starts getting tired and letting us know, but putting her head down where she is.  So at this time we scoop her up and it's off to bed...she she USUALLY, 9 times out of 10, does not protest!  She then sleeps from 830 pm to 7-730am!  It is amazing...so knowing she was healthy and didn't need to eat at night by the Dr helped...and that whole putting her asleep away was a charm.  I put her down tonight and she reached for her bed, grabbed her blankets and was probably asleep before I left the room.



 



It is really hard at first and you need to make sure your spouse is commited as well...We both feel much better getting 7-8 hours at night and some time to ourselves as well!



 



Good luck, I know it is the harsh answer, but crying it out is truely the way to go...



Aimee

Haley - posted on 02/08/2009

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hey ladies...so yeah...I too have a sweet little 9 month old baby girl who is also waking up two to three times a night. I still breastfeed and usually she goes right back to sleep once I feed her. My only advice is to do what you feel is right. My neighbor also has a nine month old baby boy and she has him cry it out, but for me...I just don't have it in me to hear my baby cry. The good news is this...my three year old was the same way and eventually they will extend their nightime sleeping and one day you will wake up in the morning and realize that you got a full nights sleep. Until then...I am trying to enjoy the sweet moments of cuddling with my baby even if I am so sleep deprived that I put on diapers backwards;)...and I also had bella in a bassinett in my room until 6 months...the one thing I found to help her with her transition was to make sure my scent was all over her blanket and also one thing that I found that has helped extend her sleeping is to have a fan going in her room and or soft music. Good luck with this and know that I too am going through this with you..many wishes for a good nights sleep.

Tracey - posted on 02/08/2009

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Hey ladies!  Soooo.... my sister went through this until her girl was almost a year and half, then one night she just slept, and went from there.  My little girl started that around nine months as well.  I talked to her pediatrition about it, with the same concern as you about bad nite time habits.  He said that around that age most kids go through one big groth spurt before they slow down (until about 18mnths then it happens again) and that they are either not getting enough solid food, or thier sleep patterns are changing and they are sleeping too much or too little during the day which will wreak havock at nite. And yes it can last a little onger than two weeks, although it's not common. You can try keeping them awake longer during the day if you think they are getting enough to eat, or let them sleep longer if it may be that they aren't getting enough ( I believe nine-12month old need about 16-18 hrs of sleep - check that though, it's been awhile since my last course on that).  The other thing that may help, which helped me, was I went from feeding her what would be considered age appropriate food to feeding her twelve month old food (barring things like nuts and eggs, etc.). There is more substance to it, and thus is more filling.  If you are nursing you may want to pick up a small can of 6-12mnth old formula (2nd stage formula) and supplement right before bed with it - but that is only if you are ok with bottle feeding, and your baby will take one! if you have been formula feeding have you switched to a second stage formula?  It took a few nights to correct the habit of waking up (i wouldn't get up right away to check her, and let a little more time go by each night after she woke up, and eventually she learned how to put herself back to sleep). Elizabeth you're issues may be becuase your little one is most comforted by being with you.  If that is case then you need to slowly ween her from you; at whatever rate is most comfortable given the situation (it won't be painless to hear them cry, but go as long as you can handle it). it's no good to her if you are an emotional wreck- hubby may have to be the on to get up at night to break her habit of you too.  It may resolve the issue.  When babies figure out that every time they cry you come, they cry all the more!  Sneaky little angels!  This was Emma's thing.  She knew if she cried i would come, and then she would only eat a little bit.  I had to bite the bullet and let her figure it out, with just a little help, and no feeding.  Isn't it funny how if they go to bed late they are up early!  That is one I will never understand!!  Oh my goodness this got long!  SORRYY!! Good luck ladies!  

Jenny - posted on 02/08/2009

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he goes to bed between 730 and 8pm and then he wakes sometime between 2 and 4am and then he wakes up in the morning between 7 and 8 on average. he sleeps in his own room in his crib and has since day one so I know he is not stressed about that, my hubby is also of the same train of thought, that yes this will pass and he will sleep through the night again. I just wish it was now!!!

Elizabeth - posted on 02/08/2009

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I dont think so! I guess we are just stcuk with two little ones that are tring to control us, haha!!! Her father told me last night that this will change soon and not to worry, but i honestly dont think so. And my other concern is she was in her bassinet til she was about 6 months and that was placed next to the bed, so I know she was comforted being next to me, but now that she is in her own room she hates it. She always sleeps best when she is next to me, and I honestly dont mind it, except its uncomfortable, not so safe and its a terrible pattern. What time does you little man go to bed. She is in bed by 7pm, she cant make it any later or she is very fussy! And up for the day by 6:30am.

Jenny - posted on 02/08/2009

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it almost sounds like your little girl and my little boy share the same stubborn streak. Like you, my little guy was a dream to get to sleep, he started sleeping through the night at 2 months and only woke at night if he was in a growth spurt. At first I thought he was going through a growth spurt now but the getting up and wanting food has been going on now for 2 weeks, well past the length of time for a growth spurt. Do they even have a growth spurt at 9 months?

Elizabeth - posted on 02/08/2009

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I hope someone can too. I felt like I was so lcky in the beginning, she was such an amazing sleeper. And I also read that once they are at about 6 months they shouldnt be hungry during the night and to not feed them. I did that and it was working great. She then out of the blue started this. Im going insane. Its like it wouldnt be such a big deal but i feel like i get no sleep, because once i get her back to sleep, I can never get myself back to sleep. I know this is a pattern, and some say its her teething, but I know its more. She is one stubborn little girl who tries getting her way! I think I might be in trouble with her.

Jenny - posted on 02/08/2009

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I am in the same boat, my little guy wakes up once a night and is starving. I feed him and he goes back to sleep but like you I feel he should have gotten enough to eat during the day and I am worried this is becoming a habit and if it is a habit how the heck do I break it? I have no advice to give I am hoping that someone out there can help us both!

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