Am I over-reacting to what should be a "loving environment"?

Tiffany - posted on 10/27/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )




I'm wondering how in the world I can get my mother-in-law & sister-in-law to stop putting their fingers in my child's mouth and constantly kissing my kid? Yes, I realize they are relatives but that doesn't stop them from having germs. A kiss here and there is fine but ALWAYS?! My mother-in-law is a children's teacher and my sister-in-law is a nurse. I worry so much. We let him stay with them once in awhile and they drag him out to places where I don't even know the people. In fact they go there just to "show him off". My mother-in-law has actually told us my son started sucking on her lip. HER LIP!?!?! I didn't say anything but the fact that she let it continue. How do I stop it?

My husband has dropped subtle hints(okay not even so subtle) such as "can you stop doing that" and has talked to his mother about not kissing so much and they got real defensive. It's like they are afraid my child won't know they love him or something? It first came out because my sister at the age of 19 got a serious case of meningitis and I watched as she was in a coma for a week and was told by nurses she she had such and such a chance of dying. It was hard watching my sister on her possible "death bed" I can't imagine what it'd be like watching my very own son (who is 4 months and still has a very weak immune system)

I really can't sit around and wait until he does get something and I'm not good with confrontation. What do I say in that case? Or am I over-reacting?


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[deleted account]

Oh gross! You're not overreacting at all! Tell them to stop because you are worried about germs. It doesn't matter what they say back to you because it's your child and you don't have to bring him around. During this flu season I would ask that they not take them out and about if you don't want them to for the same reason as I stated above. You are the mom, make your voice heard!

Michelle - posted on 10/27/2009




from your explanation of your little boy sucking on your mom in laws lip...well its wrong. he can suck on your lip as much as he likes your his mum and most of the time your share germs. But i think your mom in law is trying to be a 'mommy' again. iygm? she seems to want that bond with your son that you have. she should respect that you are his mummy and she is to care for him an a grandma way.

about taking him out to different places...well hes only 4 months old so wherever they are taking him is probably just for thier benefit. My mum will take my daughter into town because she likes people to see my daughter - shes so beautiful lol. mum likes to show her off to everyone she knows she even takes her into work!

Just sit with your mom in law and gently explain to her that the little things she does upset you. explain all the little things, but remain calm. Theres tactical ways to say things to people to get them to listen. just dont be nasty about it. My partners very good, when my mom in law does or says something he doesnt like or im not comfortable with hell just say it. But not nastily and it works. I think its depends on your mom in law and sis in law personality.

Chloe - posted on 10/27/2009




you are not over reacting a child or baby sucking on any adults or other human s lip is not a very healthy thing to do with that u just need to explain to ur mother inlaw that u dont not appreciate ur child sucking on her lip because it is not very healthy and he is still young and can catch the smallest germs that can be harmful and the kissing the occasional kiss on the cheek is not that bad but if it is on the lips or continues its same not healthy expecially if the person has had a cold sore which in a baby is very harmful u just need to calmly explain to her that he is ur son and u wish that she would stop doing that kind of stuff to him cause it is against ur beliefs and wishes and she should respect that

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