Baby sleeping in the bed with you

Melani - posted on 01/28/2010 ( 69 moms have responded )

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I have a 9 month old. When he was first born he slept perfectly fine in his pack n play (bassinet). He started to do ok in his crib when we transitioned him into it, but now he wont sleep in the crib. He will wake up every 10-30 mins wanting to be held...I let him sleep in my bed so that he will sleep fully through the night. Is this a bad thing? I keep hearing mixed messages about it...

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Eleisha - posted on 01/29/2010

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I look at it this way. WHO CARE"S!! It's your baby and you will raise him as you see fit. IF you want him in your bed, then put him ther, if not don't. Don't let other's opions sway you. I know PLENTY of mums who have co-slept and never had an issue getting their toddler into their own bed. Do what works for you. I have a 6 month old who I vowed and declared I would never let sleep in my bed. Basically because my MOTHER said this is a terrible habit that I will never break. Fast-forward 2 month from birth and I got VERY LITTLE sleep, so I decided one night to put her in my bed and she slept like never before. 5 month on from that, she goes to sleep in her own cot, and sometimes stays there all night, but maybe 4 times a week, she ends up in my bed. Just do what works for you!
x

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Helpful - posted on 07/01/2013

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I do my best to never let my daughter sleep in the bed with me. Last week I broke my own rule and let her lay down next to me to sleep. By the grace of God heard her struggling for air next to me! I woke up and scooped her up and thanked God I heard her. She is 3 months old and I can not tell you how devastated I would be if I had not woken up and heard her. PLEASE don't lay the babies in bed with you. May The Lord protect all your little blessings : )

Aubrey - posted on 02/18/2010

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I don't agree with this method. Just over a week ago, someone in my town let their baby sleep with them and when they woke up he was dead. He was suffocated. I have let my daughter sleep with us a few times but after hearing this story i will not let her until she is older and can move around herself..like 5yrs old. this just scares me! i would rather be up w/ her at night than have something bad happen.

Angie - posted on 02/08/2010

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I caught alot of stuff over it too, this is my 6th baby and they have all slept with me I always enjoyed it.

Akeeba - posted on 02/08/2010

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No, its not bad at all. My son is 33 weeks and he has been co-sleeping with us since he was 3 months. The hard part is we are looking to put him back in his crib and that is going to take some getting use to for him. Wish us luck. :-)

Brittany - posted on 02/06/2010

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My son has slept in his crib since he was 5 weeks old and through the night since 8 wkd. He is now 9-1/2 months and for the last month he has woke up during the night whether it be from teething or his first ear infection. I am so used to sleeping through now I have found myself putting him in bed with me and my husband to get the rest we both need. We always put him in his crib at bedtime and only in our bed if he wakes up and won't go back to sleep in his. I am scared he will turn out like my 13 yr old sis in law. She still will not sleep by herself. I think as long as you try to get him used to his crib, a little at a time even, y'all should be fine.

Vanessa - posted on 02/06/2010

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I've been told by many experts that it's better if they sleep in their own bed. With that being said, my son sometimes sleeps with us. He's 15 months and just started having sleep issues 3 months ago. At first we would get up and make him a bottle. Then that didn't work and we started rocking again (newborn stage). Then that didn't work and we took to laying down with him. As that wore on he would wake any time we moved away from him in bed. So he starts out in his crob and if we wakes up we take him into our bed. If he goes to sleep quickly (45 minutes) we put him back. If he's restless...he stays with us til morning. I've heard you are supposed to let em cry it out. We've tried here and there. Sometimes it works and he goes to sleep. Other times his crying gets worse and after 30 minutes we break down. Eventually I think every parent needs to decide when....and the kids gotta go but everyone is different.

Leia - posted on 02/06/2010

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There's nothing bad about your little one wanting to be close with you at all times, even at night, but im sure you miss the days of having a full bed to yourself lol, my 21/2 month old sleeps next to me everynight, but this is something that started due to me being a breastfeeding mother, and now he will only sleep in 1 of his two pack n plays during daytime naps!!!

Mandy - posted on 02/06/2010

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My 6 month old is doing that same exact thing. I feel horrible because it's beginning to drive me nuts. If I don't let him sleep with me than I don't get any rest, but I don't get much more sleep anyways because I'm constantly waking up to turn over when my arm falls asleep from his head laying on it. I don't think its a bad thing to let the baby sleep with you, but when it's affecting other factors what is there to do?

Lisa - posted on 02/05/2010

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My son turned 1 on tuesday, and he still sleeps with me and I wouldnt have it any other way. I am a single mother so I guess I dont have to worry about not having enough room in my bed. But my son still feeds during the night and with him sleeping with me it makes the whole night so much easier. I totally reckomend what ever suits you best and makes you and your baby happy

Andrea - posted on 02/05/2010

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I am right there with you. My 4 month old will only sleep in his bed for about 3 hours max. He always ends up in bed with us. I love him sleeping with me, and if I know my hubby isn't going to get home til late, I don't even put him in his own bed. I've thought about trying to move him this weekend, but I don't know. He's been waking me up 3-4 times during the night for the last 2 weeks and everyone says it will be better once he's in his own room, but if he keeps doing that in there, I'll just end up bringing him back to bed with me. I sure don't want to have to sit up in the rocking chair with him all night! I don't want to do the "cry it out" thing either. I just don't like it!

Lisa - posted on 02/05/2010

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Well, it used to be completly normal to sleep in a bed with your child and in a lot of cultures it still is and as long as you both get sleep why not?!
Our daughter sleeps in bed with us and we all love it ( hubby, her and me:)
hope that helps a little?!

Emily - posted on 02/04/2010

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No, co-sleeping is not bad. It's what human babies have been doing for hundreds of thousands of years. Do what works for your baby and your family.

Lauren - posted on 02/04/2010

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The only time I ever let my son sleep in bed with me is when i first brought him home from the hospital. I had to have a c-section and couldn't sleep laying in bed so i slept in the recliner and he slept in bed next to me or i would fall asleep holding him. Every now and then i put him in bed with me but he mainly always sleeps in his crib. I would absolutely try and get him to sleep in his own bed that way when he is older he doesn't throw a fit when you want him to sleep in his bed.

Erin - posted on 02/04/2010

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our soon to be 3 yr old slept in bed with us pretty much from the day she was born. I loved having her with me and miss those days terriably. We transitioned her into her own "big girl" room/bed when she was about 23 months old.
I don't see a problem with it as long as you are careful. My fear was that I would roll over on top of our daughter during the night.

Leesa - posted on 02/04/2010

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I don't think there is anything worng with what you are doing, i do the same and my son is also 9 months old. I get a better nights sleep and so does he. Don't listen to what other people say, i think is it is helping you than keep doing it. I think it also helps you bond more. Congrats on a beautiful baby girl.

Sarah - posted on 02/04/2010

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I found that I used to have her beside me on and off but around 7-8 months she became a nightmare to sleep with, kicking me climbing over me poking me in the face ect. she wasn't sleeping neither was I so in her crib every night no hassle or issue with it. She now sleeps with me if she is poorly and needs the extra comfort, at these times she sleeps well all night snuggled in but once she is better she happily goes back into her own crib. If you are happy with it and your baby is comfortable they will break it in their own time, I think my daughter was just ready to sleep in her own bed every night

Abbi - posted on 02/04/2010

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mine is 4 months, and sleeps with us in our bed every night. I hear all the horror stories about parents rolling over onto their babies and suffocating them, and that does scare me, but I don't think that I've fallen into that deep of a sleep since before I was pregnant.... I hear mixed things about it too, and I would like to try to train him to sleep in is pack n play or in his crib, but then I'm so terrified of SIDS, that I'm checking on him every 10-15 minutes anyway, so either way I don't get good sleep.

Serena - posted on 02/04/2010

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If your husband and you have no problem with it, go for it. It may be the crib is too big for him or he may be teething and just not feeling great about being alone in pain. My oldest son slept with me when my husband was on deployment (he's in the military so he's in and out) but another military mother told me that he is going to resent daddy coming home because then he can't sleep with mommy. So we just had him start sleeping by himself all the time. He now has his younger brother in his room but every night 2 years later we still battle at bedtime. I'm happy he sleeps in his room though because it is the only time of the day that we have to spend with each other as couple time. So I don't regret the decision we made but totally understand the benefits of co-sleeping.

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I did it with my 3 year old and now with my 7 month old. It is only natural and b/feeing is so much easier. You do what feels best to you. Don't let others tell you how to raise your baby - if it feels right it is just fine. My pedi even said her baby is in her bed. She said you may have to wait until about 3 to kick them out, but that it is fine. My 3 year old is now going to his own bed. Just do it safe:

Buy a railing that presses down on the mattress on your side. Put baby between you and railing (they say dads are not as aware). Push all blankets down to your waist, way below the bay's waist and clamp them down with the railing. You might have to wear long sleeve shirts to bed for a while.

Push your pillow way out of the way of the baby or have none at all. Get it so you only sleep on the corner. No pillows around baby at all. Don't co-sleep after drinking or heavy medications.

Look on the internet for safe co-sleeping strategies. Good luck and happy sleeping!

Kellie - posted on 02/03/2010

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I have a 21 month old who still shares our bed! And now her 2 1/2 month old brother is trying to weasle his way in! :) I love it though...nothing sweeter than having one baby with her legs sprawled over you on the right and another one nuzzled into your left! And hubby playing footsies with you! We need a cali king bed instead of a queen though! When they cant stand me anymore, they'll be begging for their own bed...so im cherishing it for now!

Celeste - posted on 02/03/2010

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co sleeping- like everything has pros and cons..but you know..each baby is different each babies needs are different..it has a lot of pros for a healthy baby..you will always find mixed because it is each persons personal opinion. But it is a SIDS reducer there are plenty of researches that prove when the baby is close to the mother and hear her heartbeat they remember to breath and wake up. Also, it is proven to reduce anxiety in both parents and child because they are right there..and is a great way to build the childs self esteem because they are not feeling neglected or distant when they are so defenseless. But it is a good idea when the child gets to be over 1 years of age to start training them to sleep in their own beds so they do not become dependant.. co dependancy is on the other end of the spectrum and too much of a good thing can make a bad thing and a BIG problem. Good luck and sweet dreams:)

Surita - posted on 02/02/2010

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I dont think there is a right and wrong in sleeping routines! My child is 4 and we still co sleep, although not the whole night. We all start in our own beds and by 3 or 4 in the mornings my husband goes to his bed and our son come to ours. We are so used to this that on the odd occation that he sleeps through we feel quite strange! LOL!!! I am sure this habbit wont go on forever and to be honest I will truely miss his little body next to mine..... They are only small for such a short time, and before long they will be teenagers, all grown up and wont even want to kiss u anymore.... SO ENJOY THIS SPECIAL TIME, IT GOES BY SO QUICKLY!!!

Brittney - posted on 02/02/2010

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i agree with most moms on here,i love sleeping with my baby girl, i wouldnt have it any other way, she slept in her crib the first night home but after that she's in the bed with me! she cant sleep a long time with out me sleeping by her so she only takes about a 15 to 30 min nap during tha day and wen its time to go to sleep at night, i give her sum cereal and a bath and she's ready to sleep! she sleeps the entire night with no problem and she's 3 months n she's been doing that for about a month n half now! :)

Michelle - posted on 02/02/2010

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I love sleeping with my daughter. I slept with my mom when I was a baby and I turned out fine! Don't listen to anybody but your own self.

Paula - posted on 02/02/2010

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I agree co-sleeping is one of the best things you can do for your baby. Most animals sleep together and all humans did until a recent trend to separate them as folk got bigger houses. To isolate a newborn from its mother is frightening and unnatural. Safety issues come from those people who use drugs or drink to excess, or are just plain negligent. I have never heard of a single unintentional case of injury to a baby sleeping with their parent.

Anna - posted on 02/02/2010

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My daughter has slept in bed with us from the day she came home from the hospital. She will remain there until further notice..My husband would like for her to be in her crib but if she started crying he wouldn't get up so it' up to me :] Co-cleeping is one of the best things you could do for your little one. Don't let anyone tell you, you are wrong. You are the best parent you can be.

Mary - posted on 02/02/2010

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There are several concerns with letting baby sleep in bed with you... my biggest concern is the safety of the baby. All the time I read about mothers who let baby sleep in bed with them and they become seriously injured or die. This is the deciding factor - none of my children will sleep in bed with us!

Anne - posted on 02/02/2010

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my son almost a year still sleeps in bed with us(with much grumbling from my husband), but i have found that he sleeps better and longer than in his crib. My son also sleeps in his own bed for naps and part of the night until my husbands alarm goes off, so it's a give and take and it eventually comes down to what you feel comfortable with doing, and i believe you will do whats right for you. But yes definitely try the shirt trick if you would like your child to sleep in their own bed, it worked for me(most of the time).

Jacqueline - posted on 02/02/2010

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I have an eight month old who does the same thing. He goes to sleep in his bed for the first half of the night, but wants to come in to our bed for the latter portion. My older son did this as well until he was 9 months. They start getting in the way in the middle of the night as they get older, and sleep less calmly. I gave my other son the boot out of our bed at 10 months, and this one will get it too. Just giving them some other type of routine before bed seems to comfort them. I rock and then sing a song. I stay in there for a few minutes until they fall asleep, and if they start crying reassure them every 5 or so minutes but don't pick them up.

Evie - posted on 02/02/2010

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I guess depends on the parent and the child, every situation is different from others. In my case Im okay with Benjamin sleeping in his own bedroom, and having privacy for my self when I need it. He is very happy in his own bed as well! :D

Ashley - posted on 02/02/2010

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I only hear the positives about babies sleeping with their parents (till they are 2 years old). Almost all midwives agree with this. I guess only in America, we say it's a "no-no!" As long as you are not on any medication that makes you drowsy or under the influence of drugs or alcohol and you keep your baby away from pillows and heavy blankets, it should be safe. Also the baby shouldn't sleep with someone who is a heavy sleeper or children cuz of the risk of rolling over the baby in their sleep. All my kids have (and still do) sleep with me (when my man ain't around!).

Joanne - posted on 02/02/2010

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I'm an older mum and been travelling a bit with my son who is now 12weeks old. I like him to sleep with me to feel secure and safe. He starts off in his cot and when he wakes for his night feed he comes into bed with me, he is now sleeping 7hours in his cot. When I put him bed I line him up with my head and shoulders so if I did happen to roll over at least he'd only get my head and not my full body. I have a 24yr old and did the same with him, he stayed in his own bed around school age.

Paige - posted on 02/01/2010

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My daughter is 10 1/2 months, and just recently started sleeping with me at nights. She tends to wake up a few times at night and used to put herself back to sleep. But now when she wakes up she pulls herself up to stand and will jump up and down in her crib. I lay her back down, and she keeps doing it.She will not go to sleep unless i put her in bed with me. Im hopin this will just be a temporary thing!

Amanda - posted on 02/01/2010

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For the entire 9 months I was pregnant, I swore I was going to do everything right....no epidural totally natural.,..breast feed....but co-sleep...NO WAy!! Then along came little Lucas in his emergency c-section and my boobs that just weren't enough to feed the little guy. So, of course we are now at almost 1 year (tear) co-sleeping. I find that it just works for us. Some babies are fine in their own bed or room, others want to be near the parents...and I don't mind-he doesn't hog the covers (yet) When the time is right for him,, we'll know....until then. It's safe, we're all happy and we're all sleeping well and that's what matters

Danyale - posted on 02/01/2010

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My son used to sleep in his crib than one day he went to his dads and is now terrified of his crib so he sleeps with me, I dont think its a bad thing when he is able to walk Im going to get him into a toddler bed... hopefully

Ashli - posted on 02/01/2010

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My son is a month old and he won't sleep by himself. I understand it is a big SIDS risk but this way i'm not getting up all the time to make sure he is still alive. If he is in bed with me. know he is ok and he will sleep so much better. I have always got told that the more you cuddle and spend time with your child the better they will sleep as they get older because they know that your not going anywhere. So to me it is all up to the parents where your child sleeps. If you want them in bed with you then let them, and if you don't they don't. This is my first child so of course i'm going to be a little protective of him so when he sleep alone i'm always worried about him that he has died or something. But now i'm trying to get him to sleep alone so I found out that if your child don't sleep in their own crib, but them in their pumpkin seat and see how that works. My son will only sleep alone if he is in that. I don't feel as bad with him sleeping in that cuz there isn't in that to suffocate him.

Marissa - posted on 02/01/2010

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I co-sleep with my son and I don't see it as a problem. He sleeps better with me and so do I. I was sick of fighting with him to sleep in his own crib. What's the point? They will grow out of it eventually. I bet that one day they will be all grown up and we will wish they could sleep in the same bed and cuddle with us, so why not let them while they want to! My 7 month old sleeps in his crib the occasional night but for the most part he's with me and we're both happy so I don't see the problem.

Rebecca - posted on 02/01/2010

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I agree with every1 that as said that it is fine for you to have your bby in bed with you i have my little boy in bed with me and i love him been close i thinkk the only down fall for me is i dont get that closeness with my partner as much but we are trying to get him in his cot now just that when he does get older he wont get use to being with us in bed n my son is nearly 8mnth

Paula - posted on 02/01/2010

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Most of the worlds babies, and for most of history, co-sleep with their parents, and it's actually less of a SIDS risk than baby sleeping alone. It provides baby with a sense of security and confidence that will stay with them for the rest of their lives. I am enjoying this time with my little man before he decides he wants his own space.

Carol - posted on 01/31/2010

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I think is perfectly normal to co sleep, I love it. My three months baby sleeps in her crib for the first part of the night and then I move her into my bed, just because I don't want to waist time getting her back to sleep after feedings. It is faster if I feed her with me in bed. I breastfeed. My girl likes her crib and I can put her there anytime.

Amber - posted on 01/31/2010

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My 9 month old sleeps with us my bf rocks her to sleep and then he puts her in her bed but she wakes up about an hour later wanting in bed with me so there's nothing wrong with him sleeping in bed with you. It's going to be tough braking him from that I also have a 10 yr old and she slept with me up until she was nine and then I got prego and wouldn't let her sleep with me anymore.

Chantal - posted on 01/31/2010

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My daughter is a little over a year and we do co-sleep. At first my husband was totally against me putting the baby in bed with us. But when he would leave for work (5am) she would fuss and I would cuddle with her. When she was 4 months he was the one to say it's ok to have her in bed with us. She has been sleeping with us since then. I know alot of people have said I will regret starting this, but I don't think I do. If anything...I know she is safe right beside me.

It is my own fault that she sleeps with us, I am the one that keeps on putting her in my bed. When she falls asleep at night I put her in her crib, where she will sleep ther for about 1 hour and half, then will wake up and stay awake until she is put in my bed. She will outgrow this stage on her own, but for now I think she still likes to know that mommy is just beside her as she sleeps very close to me.

Helen - posted on 01/31/2010

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I do the same and recently got a few books from library out which recommed it, as makes for happier more secure baby and child. As long as both parents don't smoke or drink. Many cultures have babies sleep with them till 2 or 3.
My little one was a prem babie and the baby unit recommeded he sleep with me for skin to skin which helps babies recover.
Go by your instricts and what suits you and your family.

Lisa - posted on 01/31/2010

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my son is 1 yr old know since he was born he would never go sleep any where apart from my bed i dnt have a problem wiv it at all i found it made me and my baby have a stronger bond x

Ana - posted on 01/30/2010

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Only you will know what is right or not for you and your baby... If co-sleeping works for you then GREAT! If it doesn't then he needs to start sleeping in his own bed. We are having a similar problem. He slept perfectly fine in his crib until amonth ago when we went on vacation where he was co-sleeping with us. Now that we are back, he wants to be held and/or sleep with us. However this is not comfortable for any of us as everytime one of us moves he wakes up and inevitably we all wake up... Anyways, tonight I did some research and started with the Ferber system... Controversial? yes, but it worked for me tonight... And I will keep on it until he learns to sleep in his bed, where he is comfortable.



Even though I am aware that some people will possibly say something about this, please note that it is not easy for me and I do not enjoy it, but I have seen a change in my own behaviour due to the lack of sleep, which in the long run is not good for my lil guy nor me!

Tasha - posted on 01/30/2010

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My son is 3 weeks old and i have slept with him once threw the whole night. i dont Like him sleeping with me. My nephew has always slept with my sister and he is now two and still sleeps with her. i just cant do it.

Lise - posted on 01/30/2010

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Not bad at all. It's a pattern that will break. My LO originally could only sleep ON us and she's weaned herself from that... We still co-sleep, and it will end in time. I do this stuff for a living, and it's NOT hard to stop when kids are older.

Jamie - posted on 01/30/2010

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My son always slept in bed with me, because he was in the hospital so much i wanted to cherish and spend every second with him, but his daddy would always put him in his bassinet when id fall asleep cause he was scared to roll onto him, but now i try to keep him in his bassinet. Usually when i put him to bed he'll sleep in it but when he gets up to eat, he wants to be held and stay up unless i lay down with him and sing to him, so we both end up falling asleep. Hes almost 3 months old, and i dont want him always wanting to sleep in our bed. So i try to keep him in his crib during the day for his naps and then bassinet as much as possible at night. I personally feel thats its parent discretion. If you feel more comfortable with your baby with you. More power to ya!

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