Here's a complicated scenario for you girls...

Billie - posted on 06/28/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )




Say you find out your baby is not yours...that he and another family's baby were swapped in the hospital. After months and months of loving and getting to know the baby and the other family loving yours, what would you do? Would you give the baby back to their biological parents and take yours back instead, or leave things just how they were? I think what I would do (after the other family and I cam to an agreement), is raise the baby that I went home with, and try as much as I can to be in my biological baby's life.


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[deleted account]

There is no way I would let stranger raise the baby I carried and loved and nurtured for 9 months!! You don't even know who has your child!! Just because they were born in the same hospital doesn't mean your child went home with a loving, caring couple. I woudln't be able to sleep not knowing that my baby was o.k., was she eating, sleeping o.k., is someone hurting her? Will she have the best future possible? No, No frickin' way would I knowingly let someone else raise my child. It would be tough to let go of the one I brought home, after loving her and watching her grow - - but I would want my baby to come home. No doubt!!

Esther - posted on 07/12/2009




Well, I agree I think should keep the one you took home but also introduce baby to biological parents... both side agree than just be involved as a bigger family...

Jamie Lee - posted on 07/12/2009




i think i would want my baby back.... and I would ask to still be in the life of the other child. If I carried it for that long I'm sure I would love it the same as the other child I have come to love. I don't think loving your baby is instantanious..... don't care what anyone says... you learn to love your child... You may have love for your child but you don't fall in love with them right away. You learn to love them and your love grows more everyday. Your baby is your regaurdless... I would want my "real" baby.

Amie - posted on 07/12/2009




well for me it will depend see if they are a baby when the mix up was found then i would want to swap back and no harm done but if the baby was around 2 or 3 then no i wouldn't be able to I would have to keep the child that i went home with as i know them and they would be scared going to a different home with someone that they dont know. But i would like to get to know my biolgical child even through they lived with another family and we would have to be close friends with the other family

Michelle - posted on 07/11/2009




i would keep the child i was bringin up as even tho biologically it wouldnt b mine emotionally it would. i would still want to get to no my own child n b part of his/her life.

Rachel - posted on 07/01/2009




It would depend on the time frame I think. A little while...then a switch may feel more "right". But if someone came to me at now, 11 months later, to say she wasn't mine...I don't think I could ever give her away. Its no different then if you adopted, you've bonded with that baby. And that baby, knows you as mom. I would think at this stage in life, and especially if we were close in proximity, it would be easier to keep things the same and become an extra family in the biological childs life. I think I would only have reservations in the future should contact diminish or the other family move far away. Work that out legally, even if things are amicable, and visitation a scheduled thing then what you've done can really work and not get "sticky" as the children age.

Mel - posted on 07/01/2009




i think i agree with you. ive often thought about that after seeing it on tv! except i would want my biological baby too. so i would not be able to chose

Lynlee - posted on 06/29/2009




I think if it was me and I had the wrong baby for a few days or weeks I would want my own one back but I was just imagining what i would feel like if my two and a half year old was suddenly not my real son! I would keep him - you just go through so much when they are sick, scared, teething and i could never give him up even if he wasnt mine. I roomed in with him at the hospital (common practice here) and waited for my husband to arrive each morning before i had a shower in case my son got kidnapped!

Jessica - posted on 06/28/2009




I can't even imagine.... One of the first things I did after my daughter was born was look for identifying marks on her. A cowlick, a beauty mark (ironically, my daughter has a little dot on her left shoulder), a dot of permanent marker on baby's foot, something that sets them apart from the other babies helps prevent baby switching. Rooming in also helps this, make sure if baby leaves your side, you go with baby. Most hospitals allow a parent to accompany baby if/when baby leaves the room. I think if the error was caught early enough (within a month) I would try to get my biological baby back. After that... jeez I just don't know what I would do!

The hospital I delivered at made an error, and I called them on it bigtime. The newborn hearing test that is done before baby leaves the hospital wasn't done on my daughter. She never left my sight, no one ever came to give the test. The morning we left, I asked the nurse when her hearing test would be, and she said it had already been done. Someone actually documented a test that was never performed! She and I went for the test right away and I spoke with the hospital administration about the error. If something that small can be falsely documented, what else would that person do (like switch a baby!). My hubby was so mad when I told him that he called a local news station and they ran a story about it. Needless to say, the person was fired and charged with falsifying medical documents.

it's sad that such errors even exist. As a nurse, it just plain ticks me off. As a mother, it breaks my heart.

Shanna - posted on 06/28/2009




I think she's just asking "What if", i don't think this really happened to her...

[deleted account]

How on earth does something like this happen? How did you find out the babies were switched? Is the hospital doing anything to compensate for this very tramatic but avoidable screw up? I would say you definetly deserve a whole lot of compensation even tho that won't fix what has been done. If not I would go after them to show them this is NOT ok and to prevent any other families from having to go through the same thing. Wow I still can't believe that happened and I am so sorry you are facing this right now. I wonder how many other families this has happened to and still have no idea. I would agree with the other moms and get your real baby back. A few months really is nothing in the long run and you and your biological baby will develop a very strong bond once you are together for awhile. Also think how you would feel if you were that child. When the children are old enough to understand what happened they will know that it wasn't your fault but if you guys don't swithc back they could have some serious abandonment issues. A child who was adopted to a great home with lots of love and support can still have serious issued because no matter what that child knows that isn't it's mom/dad. Please think of the future of the children involved. Good luck

Shanna - posted on 06/28/2009




Wow, that's a hard question and I dont think anyone could truly know the answer to that unless they were in that position. Becasue we have our babies an we love them so deeply, it's hard to think that you could love someone elses baby the same way. I honestly dont know what I would do...I would definately want to be in both babies lives.

Vicki - posted on 06/28/2009




Quoting Lucy:

It's for reasons like this im so glad that my baby never left my side in hospital!

Me too!! Oh my.

Though, after I had the ultrasound and was told I would be having a boy (phew), I was planning on telling them they had messed up and switched babies on me if it came out a girl.

Lucy - posted on 06/28/2009




It's for reasons like this im so glad that my baby never left my side in hospital!

Sarah - posted on 06/28/2009




I think i would agree with Christina. I would have the baby back that i gave birth to. It does not mean you don't love and haven't bonded with the baby you took home but imagine in the future how things will be for both babies if they feel they don't belong?! Have your baby back and be the best second Mummy you can to the other baby. Both babies will be so lucky to have 2 fantastic Mummies who love them both equally. You have the opportunity to have a great relationship with another mother, stronger than anyone else ever could and continue your bond and relationship with her child as well as having your biological baby with you where it belongs. Please let us know what you decide. Even after what i have said, i think it is obviously as very awkward and complicated situation and i don't envy you at all xx

[deleted account] a question.

I would have to say that if it were a mix up and after DNA testing it proved I was raising someone elses child, I would want mine back instantly and keep in the life of the baby I took home initially.

If I carried my baby for 9 months, birthed it, got to know it while it was in my womb, there is no way in hell I could live knowing it was with another family

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