Hi my little girl is a week and 3 day old.She cries when she wants someone to hold her.She just spoiled.So how would I stop her from crying?

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[deleted account]

a baby that yong CANNOT be spoiled.. she has needs and the only way she has to communicate is to cry.. to stop her crying try to meet her needs.. babys are also so used to being inside you all comfy and warn so they want to be snuggled alot to feel secure.. im just a bit shocked that you think a newborn baby crying means baby is spoiled!! well actually im really really shocked!! i cannot stress enough that babies at that age are not spoiled!!

Melanie - posted on 03/24/2009

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I honestly don't think you can hold a baby that young too much. I am in the school of thought not to spoil my son by holding him too much, but she's so young, she needs it. Think about where she just came from. It was so safe and secure. Now look where she is. She needs you, and others, to make her feel safe. Hold her, love her, kiss her constantly. After a while, start to wean her off of it. Put her down and let her cry a little. She will probably fall asleep on her own. Ours did.

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Courtney - posted on 03/23/2009

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Quoting Emily:

Are you kidding? People should be screened before having children. She's not even two weeks old yet!! She was living comfortably in your womb for 9 long months and her every need and desire was met instantly. Imagine how stressful her life is right now. She is not spoiled she is a newborn baby. Grow up and be a mom. Newborns cry. Thats life.


No Offence Emily  But she  came on here looking for advice ... Not to be  Judged ... Newborns/Babies  Do not come with a Instruction booklet .. you Learn as you go along!  and  I dont Understand  what Makes you think you are  So Perfact ... that Does not Gives you the right to Judge  anyone !   ...



 



  What Emily Should Had Said Was ... Having a Baby is a challage if It was Easy  Everyone Would have one !! however your Baby Girl  Need the love that you can Provide ... hold her .. Love her.. A  mothers Love is that  the baby Needs  ... I know that  the Crying can get frustating  but think of it as  She  loves me to Much that she wants me around ...   But if you do get frustated put her down and walk away for a  5 min Break ... its better to let her cry for 5 min then to have you Lose your marbles  for one  they  feel it and she  will Just  cry more  ... So get your self  calmed down ... then go back  and cuddle her again ... 



 You can't Spoil your baby and if you do  who care She is  your baby .. Enjoy and spoil away ...



My daugther  cryed to be held too ...  She  loves to be  Sucked up ... I would rather have a  baby that wants to have affection then a baby that doesn't want have anything to do with you



Good Luck

Nicole - posted on 03/21/2009

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I don't think at that young an age a baby is spoiled already...it's that she's been in a tight warm uterus for almost 10mos and she isn't sure she likes this much space so sudden. If I were you I'd hold her all day long b/c it won't be long before she stops wanting anything from you anymore ...time flies believe me! She looks really adorable though, I remember what it was like to have a young one like that and it does get hard sometimes. I really think she just needs you to hold her, don't worry about spoiling her at this point at all. good luck. :-)

Emily - posted on 03/21/2009

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Are you kidding? People should be screened before having children. She's not even two weeks old yet!! She was living comfortably in your womb for 9 long months and her every need and desire was met instantly. Imagine how stressful her life is right now. She is not spoiled she is a newborn baby. Grow up and be a mom. Newborns cry. Thats life.

Kelly - posted on 03/01/2009

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you can not spoil a baby that young. Crying is their only way of letting you know they need something. Crying it out and other self soothing methods do nothing but teach your Newborn that they won't be heard and lose trust in you. As far as wanting to be held all the time...of course she does, she has been 'held' for 9 months, babies need to adjust just like moms do.

Melissa - posted on 02/26/2009

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Completely  true  especially  as theyare  building  trust in you. Also  they  may  enjoy not being  able to   feel  the air  maybe the baby  enjoys being  wrapped?  Some  babies  dont  feel  safe   with  too  much room  and  it  scares them.  But  I do beleive  babies that  age  do  not  do itfor  attention  at that age  they dont  comprehend  that  yet

[deleted account]

hold her! she is too little to be spoiled. she needs to be held and loved and taken care of whenever she needs it. (although sometimes babies just cry...if she has been held, is not tired, is not hungry and has a clean diaper....she might just need to cry--but try comfort her first!!!)

Beth - posted on 02/25/2009

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At a week old your baby is not spoiled......you can not spoil a baby that young by holding it plain and simple.......babies at that age only cry when they need something like changing, food, or some sort of comforting.......dont let people tell you your child is spoiled and dont you believe it these things are a neccesity for your baby.

Lacey - posted on 02/23/2009

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I have a three month old. When she was two weeks I was about to pull my hair out because she would not stop crying. I read an article that said babies cry because they feel insecure. The article suggested that you hold a baby as soon as they whimper so they learn who will take care of them. It sounded like nonsense but I gave it a try. Two days after I started holding her longer, she stopped crying! The next thing I did was setting a strict routine. Bath time every night about 7:30-8. She responded so well that she started sleeping five hours compared to the 2 1/2 to 3 at a stretch. By seven weeks old she was sleeping through night for ten or twelve hours. Now the routine isn't quite as strict because her body is so used to taking scheduled naps and going to bed at 8. It makes me a happier person and a better mommy to have a good routine.

Kenyatta - posted on 02/23/2009

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SHE IS TOO YOUNG TO BE SPOILED BABIES THAT SMALL JUST NEED SOMEONE TO HOLD THEM YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER IT WAS NOT THAT LONG AGO WHEN SHE WAS BEING CARRIED AROUND IN YOUR STOMACH AND NOW SHE IS OUT IN THIS BIG WORLD WITH ALL THESE NOISES AND PEOPLE SHE JUST MIGHT BE OVER STIMULATED, AND BECAUSE SHE IS SO YOUNG SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT YET.

Danielle - posted on 02/23/2009

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You CANNOT give a baby 'too much love' in the 1st 6 mos!! I am a mother of 5 ranging from 10 yrs to newborn... she isn't spoiled... yet (LOL!)... but if she is crying, fed, changed and loved, then let her cry!! If you need 'Mommy Time', then take it.... but she is so little right now, Lisa is right... enjoy her while you can!! All you can do right now is hold her and love her... schedule time will be on you in just a couple months!! Good luck!

Heather - posted on 02/23/2009

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You can't spoil a newborn...hold her as much as you can...they get big fast.  I actually felt the same way...when I'm home with my son all day by myself...I wish sometimes that someone else was here to hold him when I can't.  But once my husband gets home from work, he takes over.  And I'm sitting there watching him hold him...and I want to hold him!!  lol  Just soak it up...she'll soon be able to lay by herself...and not need to be held all the time.

Leanne - posted on 02/23/2009

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That young you cannot spoil them, if she is crying she may be hungry or have gas, they also like to feel snug and secure so try swaddling her.  Hold her and cuddle her, at that young age they can use all the cuddling they can get. 

Joni - posted on 02/22/2009

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Hi! To stop her from crying, I suggest you hold her. Your little one is just doing what she is supposed to, I promise. I agree whole-heartedly with the earlier reply that you cannot, cannot, cannot spoil a baby that young. In fact, you really can't spoil a baby by picking her up whenever for the first several months. She is telling you she needs to be comforted. Enjoy it while it lasts. Enjoy her, even her cries. My little guy is only 8 months old, but already I miss those first weeks of getting to know each other. It was hard, but so special. Best wishes to you and congratulations!

Ashley - posted on 02/21/2009

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shejust needs the closeness to u and enjoy it cuz if u have to go to work like i did ull wish u could just stay home and hold her all day

Kristal - posted on 02/21/2009

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I actually was told I shouldn't pick up my daughter (7 weeks) every time she cries. I actually asked our doctor if picking her up will cause problems later on and he recommended that you do pay attention to them when they cry, especially when they are younger. They begin to build there trust for you at this young age and if they can't depend on you now to be there for them when all they want is a cuddle, how are they to know they can depend on you later on in life. I agree with him, picking them up just because she wants to be held, I personally think is a compliment....you're baby wants to be with you, what more could you ask for?? I hope you figure things out!

Michelle - posted on 02/21/2009

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You can't spoil an infant - my 2 yr old rarely wants to cuddle anymore, take advantage of the cuddle time while you can!!!

Melissa - posted on 02/19/2009

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Spoil away! By holding and comforting her she will stop crying. Enjoy it while you can my little girl is now 5 months and good luck trying to hold her she squrims like cray.

Jennifer - posted on 02/18/2009

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You can't spoil a newborn! They usually cry for a reason. Maybe her stomach is cramping from the milk she made need some gas med. relief(mylicon) it doesnt hurt them at all but helps them. Some babies digestive systems needs to mature some b4 they will handle milk good. I had that problem with my baby. Try swaddling her and makes sure her diaper and everything is clean. She might have diaper rash  put some destin cream on it. You cant spoli her and if you dont get her the attention and try to stop her from crying it is only going to result into more crying and makin her feel unsecure.

Kelly - posted on 02/18/2009

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young babies cant be spoiled!!! I thought this too but when i was prego i went to a pregnancy class and they told me a young baby that is under the age of 6 months cant be spoiled, they need to be held they need to be loved, they cant remember things that is why you cant spoil a baby that age, however you can spoil a baby that is atleast 6 months or older because they can remember you holding them and thats when you can spoil them, dont think you are spoiling her because your not!!! trust me!! my mom is a child development teacher and she told me the same thing, but if you dont want to hold her all the time just let her cry it out, babies need to cry once in a while and she will learn to sooth herself

Jessica - posted on 02/11/2009

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Just to let you know that everyone said my baby was colicy, he ended having a ear infection at 2 wks old. Tough stuff for a little guy, it's hard to know what is bothering a little baby, the least you can do is hold them to comfort them. At 5 months old his eardrum ruptured (a year later it still makes me sad when I think about it and how much pain he was in and I couldn't do a thing for him), so trust your instincts if you think something is wrong.

Even though my son may be a little spoiled now, I truly think he needed the extra love and care.

Sara - posted on 02/11/2009

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I think all babies at this age are like that! Mine certainly was! I don't really think there is anything you can do (sorry), she will grow out of it in a couple of months and will probably be an angel! Just remember, she just wants to be close to you, she's been close to you for last 9 months, it makes her feel secure. She's just learning how to live in the world! Hang in there!!! It gets better, I promise!

Jessica - posted on 02/11/2009

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Spoil her by holding her it builds a lifetime of comfort, security, independence and confidence in your child. She is young.

Erin - posted on 02/11/2009

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I know you might not want to hear this, but technically you can not spoil an infant up until at least four months of age. They have certain needs, Feeding, changing, sleep, and cuddling. Some babies need more of one kind of care or another. It sounds like your baby needs more cuddling then usual.  Enjoy it, take the time to hold her and give her something that she needs to develop properly, plus take the down time for your self, sit, enjoy your little person, cuddle! Its good for the blood pressure. Don't hold the baby 24-7, just make sure when you do it is quality cuddling with songs and kisses.



I have a child development associates and have knowledge in infant development, and there are man great websites like babycenter and parenting that can give you lots of info! Good luck!

Tracey - posted on 02/10/2009

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Sarah hit it on the head! You can't spoil a newborn, but you CAN spoil a six month old!  YOur little one is just adjusting to a very bright loud life outside of a very dark, quiet and warm womb.  You'll know when it goes from crying to be nurtured and needing to feel safe to crying becuase they want you to be at their beck and call.  That's the point where you start letting them cry it out and setting boundaries.  Developmentally you don't have to start the whole creating good habits until they are around the three month mark, and even then it doesn't need to be harsh reality checks, just consistancy with rountine. Chances are your baby will set it's own rountine, and you can help her to accomodate your life along side of that routine.  Just to add to Sara's comments on the whole keeping her safe and healthy, the first year of a baby's life is the time they learn weather you are a safe person for them or not.  And you can show them that by holding them, putting them in a wrap, or even just swaddling them and putting them in a swing when you need a break.  Don't feel discouraged, I am sure you doing just fine!  Thanks for asking such a great question! It shows how much you care about your baby, and that is encouraging!  YOu are not the only mom out there that has asked that, and you won't be the last!  All the best!  Cheers!

Sara - posted on 02/09/2009

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I think you got a lot of great advice. I'd like to remind you that your infant does not yet understand cause and effect, and so is simply not capable of manipulating you (which is sort of what being spoiled is). It is important for their growth and development that they are held. That said, if you need a break from holding her - don't be afraid to set her down somewhere warm and safe and give yourself some time. What IS important is that as she grows, you teach her that you are there to meet her needs, to love her and to keep her safe and healthy. This leads to a happy, healthy baby and child! Congratulations!

[deleted account]

Swaddle her really tight (safely) and that will ease a lot of stress on her. Never underestimate the swaddle!

Sandra - posted on 02/09/2009

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You can't spoil such a young baby.  Your baby needs to have you close, she was in your tummy, close to you for 9 months.  My baby was the same but he had alot of colic and was in pain.  I held him all the time and now at 3 months he is happy to sit in his chair and play with his toys.  So he did not get spoilt.  Please hold your baby, she needs to feel you close.  Don't let her cry it out.

Jillian - posted on 02/08/2009

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when they are that young they need to be bundled up in a tight blanket (swaddled) and held quite a bit. they are use to being in the tight warm tummy and everything is new to them. a baby holder of some sort helps termendously so that your baby can still be near you, develop a sence of safety, and you can still get somethings done that you need to take care of. In a few short months they will not need this as much...but until then what I've read and experenced is that the more you hold the baby in the beginning the better off they are later and will cry much less as they get older. Hope this helps.

Gillian - posted on 02/08/2009

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If shes crying it cause she needs somthing babies that young don't just cry for no reason give her the time now it been gone before you know it

[deleted account]

when you think about it, your little baby used to be in complete contact with you, constantly "embraced" in your womb - 24/7. so no matter how much you hold her, its still a drastic reduction from what she was used to before. she cant be spoiled! :) its more important to give her all the comfort and reassurance she needs while trying to adjust to the humungous change she just experienced.

i held my baby all the time and always went to her when she cried, and now its like shes not afraid to be put down. (shes four months). she knows i'm there and will come if she cries, so its like she feels safe to be independent and on her own sometimes.

Andrea - posted on 02/07/2009

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Oh!  She's just a newborn adjusting to the world!  You can't spoil her by holding her too much.  Eventually she won't cry as much and you can pick up on her cues better to read what she needs.  Be patient...it just takes some time.  My son is only 3 months, and already I can read him like a book.

Ally - posted on 02/07/2009

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Hi traci...what a sweet baby..please please please don't think your little one is spoiled...she is a brand new baby and NEEDS to be held, loved on and comforted constantly at this point in her development...she needs to know that you will answer her cries quickly and comprehensively...i would def recommend a sling /carrier they are great and keep the little ones very comfortable while allowing you to have your hands free...I know how you feel I have a "spoiled" ten month old who still wants to be held I just keep reminding myself that she will eventually grow up and not want me to hold her at all ...but crying it out is never the good answer and is especially not appropriate for such a young baby..best of luck

Traci - posted on 02/07/2009

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Quoting Lisa:

hi i would make the most of her while she is still little as when they start to crawl they become more independant and you will be wishing she still wanted to be held more as you will miss that .my little girl is nearly 2 and although cuddly she is independant and i really miss the days when she used to snuggle into my arms as its the most amazing feeling ever . take care


 

[deleted account]

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A BABY!!! I held my daughter almost constantly from the day she was brought home from the hospital till around 2 months, they need your closeness, think about the life that they started out with (attached to you reeeeally close inside and snug as a bug for 9 months to be hauled out into a huge cold louder than normal world) I would be a little out of sorts myself. Your little one is going to cry, it's a form of communication.  And I will have you know that now that my daughter going to be 4 months old next sunday, and not only is she happy and content all the time, I can leave the room and she doesn't freak out, she sleeps thru the night in her own crib and has done so since week 5. See and I had her constantly, I didn't let her cry it out. It's not fair. And the older your baby gets you will be able to tell crying from whining from attention noises. 

Marnie - posted on 02/07/2009

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Babies as young as yours are not crying for any other reason other than they need something from you whether that be food, a change or comfort. I was always told by the midwives and health visitors that babies under three months are NOT manipulating you for anything and you should give them the attention that they need. Enjoy the cuddles with you baby but do be careful as I have always cuddled mine and now am trying to break the habit of only sleeping in moms arms!!

Karla - posted on 02/07/2009

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maybe you should try a sling that way shes always close to you and you have both hands free,also a dummy.

Alison - posted on 02/07/2009

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babys thatyoung cry to get your attention, its your job to hold, cuddle and love them. it builds a bond and reasurrance.

i thought me eldest was spoiled and seemed to spend the first six months of his life trying to put him down. I made me resentful and him clingy.

With my second i held and cuddled and reassured and while nothing else got done it was amazing to form a strong attachment with her.

she is now two and confident and outgoing.

you live and learn as they say. the thing i learned is that my eldest who wasnt carried and cuddled at evey cry took a lot longer to become happy and confident!!

im currently carrying and cuddling my third!!!

Katie - posted on 02/07/2009

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i have the same prob with my 3 wk old my mum suggest just leaving her to cry it out as long as she fed n clean...it did work she only cried for couple of mins tho...x

Amy - posted on 02/07/2009

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I agree with the other reply. And when she's that young she's also looking for reassurance that you're going to be there and meet her needs and hold her and love her, etc. Just remember that she doesn't have the words to tell you that she wants some cuddle time so she cries to get your attention.
And I can tell you that you start missing that little cuddly baby quickly! My daughter is 6 months old and crawling around the house after the cats! Lol! I love this stage just as much but some days I miss those first couple months when she would cuddle up on my chest and fall asleep...
And CONGRATULATIONS on your little one!!

Lisa - posted on 02/07/2009

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hi i would make the most of her while she is still little as when they start to crawl they become more independant and you will be wishing she still wanted to be held more as you will miss that .my little girl is nearly 2 and although cuddly she is independant and i really miss the days when she used to snuggle into my arms as its the most amazing feeling ever . take care

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