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separation anxiety?

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

I was just wondering if any of your babies had separation anxiety, and when did it start, how long did it last? and is there anything you could have maybe done to make it less extreme?



My daughter is almost 5 months and she does really well with anyone...the other day we had a lunch with family she has never met. She didn't cry once and was being passed around by all these new people.

I am hoping she doesn't get separation anxiety, but I know it might happen. So far I am not comfortable with family taking her overnight, but they are always welcome to take her for the day to their house (so long as shes back before 6pm) I was wondering if sleepovers are really important for separation anxiety? Or is it good enough that I let my family members take her for the day? (I like her sleeping at home, her dad works long hours, and we have a bedtime routine...but I figure if they get her during they day, she can bond better)

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Serena - posted on 02/25/2010

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Its unavoidable like teething or diaper rash LOL. Every child will go through some degree of separation anxiety, it depends on the child. My older son who is now 3 still experiences it when we have had a long weekend or vacation, then forced to go back to preschool.

I don't really see it being too important for the overnight stay. Children thrive off of routine and if you have a routine that works, why rock the boat? Plus if you don't feel comfortable, she might feel it too. Being around different people makes it easier and you are definitely doing the right thing with the day outings.

We don't live around family so overnight stays aren't an option and I don't think they would have helped anyways. My son doesn't need me to go to sleep but he's also 3 at this point.

It sounds like you just have a very outgoing little girl, which is a good thing :) My younger son is like that, and having one of each (outgoing and shy) its sure easier when you need a hand. Good luck

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Alison - posted on 02/26/2010

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I think you should do what you feel is right, and I also think that 5 months may be a little too young for sleepovers. It sounds as if you don't really need to worry about separation anxiety. I think that they only really get that way when they only see you- it sounds like your child is socialized enough that you shouldn't have to worry about it. I wouldn't bother myself over it until it actually happens, because chances are you are going to be fine.

Amanda - posted on 02/25/2010

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Hey! My daughter is 19 months & has only every slept over at my parents who live next door a hand full of times just to give my hubby & I a night to ourselves. It's not imparitve for them to sleep away from home.....but it does allow you a break. I have always been very careful of who I let even watch her. Most of the separation anxiety I would say is my own...not her's. Baby's make strange anywhere from 6 months on....but this usualy will pass. I had to go back to work when my lil one was 6 months....thankfuly I had Grandma who saw her everyday who babysat.

Main thing is when you leave her somewhere don't make a big deal when u leave....if you do she will. I just droped my daughter off gave her a kiss & sliped out while she was into some toys.

It's great that your little one is visiting family. It's important for them to be well socialized. But as far as sleep overs, completely up to you...I don't feel it will do any damage either way...as long as they keep her on the routiene u have established.

Wendy - posted on 02/25/2010

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I think overnighters at families homes are actually a really good thing (if they want to of course!) for you, your partner, and your family! It shows great trust (even if you do worry, it's normal and gets easier in time). The first time we did it our son was 3 months old and it was our anniversary. It was VERY difficult for me to do, but we definitely needed some good alone time, and it was nice to go out on a date on our anniversary (I turned off my cell phone to avoid picking it up and dialing grandma, he kept his on in case they needed to call us). As a result, we've left our son for overnights about once a month since then so we could get a little break/rest - and to make a point of going out for a date once a month!! We've only done so with family thus far though and he will be 17months old in a few days. For the most part it has worked great in reducing seperation anxiety for all of us, he gets to spend some real quality time with other family - and the hubby and I get to go out on a date once a month and sleep past 7am the next morning (if we can!).

Denise - posted on 02/25/2010

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Hi im a mom of 2 I have a 3 year old boy and an 11 month old girl. I had seperation anxiety with my son, I didnt let him sleep over no ones house untill he turned about 1 and it was hard for the both of us but we got through it :) and I called them like every half hour to see how my lil boy was lol. when I started working a full time job the anxiety was more intense with my son because I was a stay at home mom for a little bit he got used to me staying home with him. it was hard but I cant tell you exactly what to do because the children handle it in different ways, I changed his schedule up a bit like spend as much time with him, and then put him for a nap before I went to work. Also my daughter is 11 months old and shes slept at family members house when she was 9 months old but shes a daddys girl. One thing I will tell you is that you should let her sleep out for a day and see how it goes im sure your family would love it!

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