Me ex's new wife makes my life HELL.

SANDRA - posted on 11/20/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




Well, Ill try to make it short and sweet. I have a stack of paper about 3" high of all of the nasty things my exes new wifey has posted about me online. I am called an alienator, yet my ex wont even call his daughter for a month at a time. Ive offered for him to have more weekends with her, because we are living closer together now, he wont accept my offer. He is supposed to Skype every Wednesday night, he has missed the last 20 or more weeks. He won't call our daughters Pre-k to check on her progress. I haven't received child support in 16 months, but am called a "money hungry" narcissist. The new wife even went as far as to write a letter to the mediator when we had a mediation to agree on visitation!! SHe had to be asked to remove herself from the mediation ( She shouldn't have been present anyway) She calls me "high conflict" when really....she just doesn't understand why the things she does make me angry. She has crossed the line too many times to count, for example....she sent me instructions on how to brush my daughters teeth (I'm fully capable, and aware of how to brush her teeth, and help her do it on her own) Im a GREAT mom, and I dont need her ever...

I am remarried, my husband and I just bought a house, only 11 miles away from where we have been for the last 3 years....she told me that I should have consulted my ex first before making a permanent decision such as buying a house.....WHAT!?

Then, to top it all off... as I said, I haven't received COURT ORDERED child support in 16 months. They have moved 4 times in the last year.....He can not hold down a job, I have been at the same job for 3 years. Because they keep moving, I keep having to refile child support with the county they move to. Ive been fighting that for almost a year!

I could go on and on and on with the nasty things she has said and done, and all of the things he wont do.

I have asked her repeatedly to keep communication between my ex and I, rather than having her butt in and control everything, she wont let that happen. I have asked her to stop posting nasty things online, and sending me emails (I have since blocked her). I don't know what else to do.

I have actually filed a motion to modify visitation, to give my ex MORE time with our daughter, and to also ask that he be REQUIRED to make regular contact, such as weekly phone calls and/or Skype sessions. Should I even bother asking him to order "miss thang" to butt out??

p.s. she even went so far as to say that my husband and I should have backed out on buying our house, quit our jobs, and my ex and I should pick a neighborhood together that we can ALL live in (in ATL where he can find a job) and live happily ever after....


View replies by

Michelle - posted on 01/30/2015




His new wife sounds horrible and I think that you should do what's best for your girls. I wouldn't try forcing him to do anything if he is just going to listen to his new wife. I have tried that with my ex and it always makes things worse. And I totally agree she needs to butt out of you and your ex's decisions on the girls and especially on where you live and work and make a living.

Dad's that chose another woman over their child(ren) do not deserve the attention of said child(ren) in my eyes yet I see it happen all the time with my daughter and my friends kids. All you can do is love your girls unconditionally and in the end they will see who has always been there for them, who has loved and nurtured them. They will know who they ca rely on when they get older.

Fire And Ice - posted on 12/06/2013




It sounds like you're in a very frustrating situation. I am going to assume that the new wife doesn't have any children? She may just simply be excited about being a stepparent and not realizing she's overstepping that invisible and unspoken-of boundary.
One of my favorite articles on the roles that a stepparent (SM or SF) should have, along with encouraging advice for parents gives some really great pointers that I've taken to heart. I'm a bio mom and a stepmom so, I have both sides of the fence to look at and have taken a lot of time to understand the difference between being a mom and stepmom. Sometimes it is hard because your children feel like you favor your SKs when you don't punish them. They don't understand that it isn't your place....
Anyways, here's a link for you:
Also, I wanted to add, there may be provisions for Dad to Skype your daughter, and your offer being ignored for additional time may be something that he wants to do, but his new wife doesn't want him to do. Or, he may be thinking that she will be upset because he's spending more time with his daughter than how it began.
I would request that it be placed into a court order that SM refrain from interfering with Dad's relationship with his daughter, that she not contact the mediator or attorney unless it is an absolute emergency and dad is not able to. Also that SM not speak badly about you while your daughter is present at dad's home or while in dad's care because it is damaging emotionally/mentally. You can also request that Dad provide all care for your daughter until she is at an age where she knows how to bathe herself, etc and needs that privacy.
I hope this all helps you out!

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