American Family

We aren't a typical American family. A mixed race couple (White mom,Asian dad), a biracial bio daughter and a daughter adopted from China. A little Norman Rockwell, a little Joy Luck Club and the Brave New World of open int'l adoption with a dash...

American is a winner of Top 25 Adoption Blogs by Parents

Why did you decide to adopt?

I had always been interested in the idea of adoption. My husband and I traveled quite a bit in Asia and realized many Asian children were being adopted by white American Families. His experience as an Asian growing up in a mostly White community led us to conclude it would be preferable for an Asian child to grow up in a family with Asian relatives and at least one Asian parent who could help them make sense of the experience of growing up as a minority in the US. We also have some possibly hereditary health issues in our genetic pool that might make life difficult for any biological children.

What was the biggest challenge or hurdle you faced in the adoption process?

I didn't find the adoption process to be particularly difficult or invasive, but for me, the biggest challenge was the waiting and uncertainty. We had to wait until I turned thirty to send in our application (a year or two after we decided to move forward). Then, we also didn't know when our referral from China would come because we qualified for expedited status as a family of Chinese ancestry. There were big changes happening in the China program when we turned in our paperwork, so we weren't even certain a child would come to us at the end of the process. Fortunately, it all worked out for the best.

When and how did you (or will you) tell your child they were adopted?

Really? Are people still not telling their children they are adopted from day one? Keeping that information from an adopted child is a terrible terrible idea.

We talked to our daughter about her adoption from day one. We adopted her when she was 11 months old and it was extremely traumatic for her. She has a right to know all the details about why her life was turned upside down.

We also searched for and located her birth family. If we hadn't told her she was adopted, I suppose introducing her to a second set of parents would be more than a little confusing. Fortunately, our daughter is a bright kid who has taken her story in stride.