Bachelormum Style

Spirited parenting in a skirt! Trader of exquisite French treasures. Spirited mama leaping over adversity to land on her stilettos.

Kim is a winner of Top 25 Single Moms - 2013

What's the biggest misconception people have about single parenting?

Stereotypes show that single parents don't have high aspirations for their children, that they are generally poorer and uneducated. Single parents do have more challenges, its true, but no single parent is the same and generally they are no longer in the relationship with the other partner because it was better for their lives and that of their children's not to be. Poverty and conflict are what damage children, not raising children alone. If this message was clear then there would be much stronger support and policies to assist all parent avoid these consequences rather than label parents with unhelpful perceptions.

What's the most rewarding thing about being a single parent?

I don't think it's a matter of looking at the rewards of being a single parent so much as making a life choice to have something removed or absent that was unhealthy or just not working to make life better (at least for women who birthed their children while in a relationship as opposed to those who choose from conception to go it alone.) this can be an incredibly painful choice or experience but we grow though it and learn and hopefully come out unscathed. I always think of the notion of diamonds being formed in dark places with great pressures. Sometimes I do wonder if the diamond ring would have been better, but those diamonds we form ourselves can never be removed or lost, so I guess that's a fairly precious reward. That and of course having grounded children who understand that their wellbeing is the centre of everything

What's the most important thing being a single parent has taught you?

That I'm stronger and more creative than i imagined. That living a good life isn't dependent upon another person, although being in a good relationship is still great thing. Ive also developed the mantra that the more success a woman has in her life – physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially – the greater sense of wellbeing she develops. When a woman (whether single or married) is feeling good about herself it’s easier for her to raise her children to be wise, resilient, happy and loving beings. It's been a survival strategy, and it's working x