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The Bearded Iris

A recalcitrant wife and mother with the facial hair to prove it. Her blog is a mix of humor, practical tips, and human interest, with a side of recreational canine scat photography to keep it classy.

What's the funniest thing your child has ever done or said?

What always makes you laugh?

What's the funniest gift you've ever received?

What's your funniest potty training story?

Leslie Marinelli

Oh God, I'll never forget it as long as I live. My oldest son was three years old and really struggling with pooping on the potty. We were doing a lot of cheerleading and bribing, but nothing could convince him to make the transition from pull-up to potty. Our house was on the market at the time and I had an agreement with the realtor that she would always call first before stopping by to show the house to potential buyers. Well, one day, she called and said she was 10 minutes away and wondered if she could stop by with some clients who she thought would LOVE my house. My 3 month old baby was napping and I explained that I didn't want to wake the baby and leave, so she would have to show the house while we were there. I was racing around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to stash clutter and tidy up when my son announced that he really had to poop. (Of course, right?) I was tempted to tell him to just go in his pull-up, but I didn't want to confuse him, so I popped him on his potty and told him to call me when he was done. Two minutes later the doorbell rang. As I was welcoming the realtor and the potential buyers into my foyer, my son came walking down the hallway toward us, totally naked from the waist down and holding a fresh turd in each hand. "Mommy! I did it! I pooped on the potty!" he exclaimed with pride. "See?" The realtor started backing toward the door and stammered, "Oh, we'll just reschedule when you're not so busy. Sorry to intrude!" Needless to say, that family did not buy our house.
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What's your kids' favorite backyard game?

Leslie Marinelli

My three kids like to gather sticks to use as pretend guns and spy gear, probably as a result of my attempt to create a nonviolent, weapon-free environment for them. I actually once caught them sharpening sticks with pencil sharpeners so they could spear things. And people wonder why I drink.
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