Holdin' Holden


Brutally honest and hilarious musings of a stay at home mom and author.

jenny is a winner of Top 25 Funny Moms - 2013

What's the funniest thing your child has ever done or said?

Since I have two crotchfruit- I have a hard time choosing! Since you asked, I'll give it a tie between one thing each has said in the past.

We were leaving one day to go somewhere and I was still in the house farting around, probably checking my face in the mirror for new wrinkles (I have three, named Thomas, Holden, and Parker currently) and when I walked to the car, Holden says "Are we gonna leave Mommy here? She's gonna be a STREET WALKER!"

Parker's shining moment was also in the car (I'm seeing a trend here)- I was rushing him to hurry up because it was colder than hell outside, and he says "Oh! I hope my nipples don't fall off!"

What always makes you laugh?

Honestly, any and every time my kids embarrass the hell out of me. I know that sounds weird, but if I can't laugh the hardest at those moments I'd probably be booking an extended stay at the nutfarm or joining the traveling circus.

What's the funniest gift you've ever received?

I'm a mom- I don't receive gifts anymore! A gazillion years ago when I did- my mom once wrapped up a new pack of socks and put it under the Christmas tree. Guess she couldn't wait for me to open it because come Christmas morning- it had a hole in the side of the bag and a pair was missing. Thanks, Mom.