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redlipstickmama - the tale of a surviving mom in Harlem, New York

I struggle on a daily basis to reconcile my addiction to high heels and minimalistic design, my infamous past as the life of a party and my present as an overwhelmed mother. I am someone who did not want children for a long, long time and then...

What's the funniest thing your child has ever done or said?

Last Sunday morning pep talk. Me: 'so Penelope, who is cute?'
Penelope: 'Neon (Leon, her 9 month-old baby brother) is cute, Pepette is cute euh...(hesitating) Aspa (Gaspard, her twin brother), is cute, euh...Papa (quite affirmatively) is cute. Maman (very determined tone) is NOT cute!'

Me: (fake laugh) 'hahaha'

What always makes you laugh?

My baby boy crawling and chasing the twins who are 16 months older than him. They are scared shitless of him. They think he is some kind of alien who came out of my womb to eat them.

What's the funniest gift you've ever received?

If you were giving a commencement speech, what's one piece of advice you'd give to young women who want to include motherhood in their futures?


Growing up, I was drowned under the imagery of saint like mothers, caring and soft spoken. Soon after I became a mom, I realized that moms are more like war commandants: developing military tactics to manage tantrums, feeding and sleeping routines, leveraging all resources they have (nanny, family, savings, wine etc.) to win all the battles (career, motherhood, love), yelling marching orders, being stuck in their trenches previously known as their apartment with sleep deprivation, wearing combat clothing namely sweatpants and nursing tops and they also get battle scars from being scratched and punched by their tots. Don't cry. This is good. Yes, you won't be a saint like person but you are better. Because whenever you think you royally screwed it up and that you are losing the fight, someone in the motherland thinks you are a hero. And like a commandant, wear proudly your physical and emotional scars and let an army carry you. There is no war worth fighting for on your own.
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