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s&m: a co-parenting blog

Our blog is written to show the real life that we have as the bio-mom and step-mom of our son, Ethan. We tell the good, the bad, the joys, and the sorrows of being a blended family. More importantly though, we keep it real!

Scarlet and Marissa is a winner of Top 25 Moms with Blended Families - 2012

What aspect of being in a blended family has surprised you?

Scarlet: I was raised in a blended family setting and it was nothing like what Marissa and I have. The most surprising aspect for me is how well Marissa and I got along from the beginning. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all roses, but at the same time it didn't take us years or even a year to start getting alon to where we would communicate all the time and then we started doingday trips together and blogging. :)

Marissa: For me, I think the biggest surprise has been that I was accepted so openly and quickly by Scarlet. You hear all these storiesof the arguing, the tension, the lack of communication...for me, I almost expected a war. In truth I geared up for it - I was wound up s tight in the beginning that any little thing set me off. But then I started to realize that it didn't HAVE to be that way and I loosened up, and I realized that Scarlet didn't resent me, and that she accepted me into the step-mom role. I was honestly very surprised ho mich better things were than I expected, and that it has continued to be a relationship between us where we CAN talk, share stories, laugh, and blog all about i.

What's a good tip for preventing sibling rivalry?

Marissa and I both come from homes with siblings and we both believe that it is best to treat each child as an individual, but equally. What's best for one child may not be best for the other. Every child is different and we both agree that there needs to be a balance of the children.

I came from a famiy that not only had siblings, but also had the stepchild in th mix too. My suggestion is to make sure that each child knows that they are loved and that each child receives the same amount of time and energy from you.

What's one piece of advice you'd give to moms who are about to become part of a blended family?

Again Marissa and I agree that it is important to pick your battles and to realize what is really worth fighting for and what will be beneficial in the long run. It is also important to stay true to who you are and to what your values are. We would also say to be open, willin, honest, and ready to become friends with the "other mother.". Although life might not always be perfect the way that you act and the way that you treat people are crucial. Be accepting of the mm or stepmom and remember that you both have one thing in common and that's that you both want what is best for the child.