Where's The F#*king Mommy Manual?!


The ramblings, epiphanies and tantrums of a mom.

Lindsay is a winner of Top 25 Funny Moms - 2013

What's the funniest thing your child has ever done or said?

Top Ten List of Funniest Things My Children Have Said:
1. "Hey Mom, maybe you can come to my school's book fair this week and buy a book on how to be a sweeter mom."
2. "Mom, guess who yells louder you or Daddy? I'll even give you a hint...this person does NOT have a moustache."
3. "Mommy, come and watch me do my new gymnastics move. I am super good at doing hampstands."
4. "And that's why you have me in this family Mom. So you can have at least one smart kid."
5. "Wow! Somebody get up here and see how glittery I am now!"
6. "Hey, I just made a new rhyme. Truck. Rhymes with f#*k. Truck! F#*k!"
7. "Mommy! Poop alert. Or in other words...the dog shit in my room again."
8. "I love you even when you yell. Like really loud yelling. But, just so you know, Grandma never yells at me."
9. "Take a video of me dancing to Justin Beaver and post it to Facebook. You will get so many likes. It'll be super awesome."
10. "Even though I saw that this mac and cheese came out of the freezer, I really still do think you are the best mac and cheese cook ever. Like in the whole world."

What always makes you laugh?

What always makes me laugh is what most other people find appalling, shocking, disturbing and straight up inappropriate. True story.

What's the funniest gift you've ever received?

The two little comedians I call my children.