A vent about weaning...

Jodi - posted on 10/04/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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So, I'm pregnant and I am at an increased risk for pre-term labor, that fact that I'm having twins puts me at an even higher risk of preterm labor. As such, my 19 month old has to be weaned by 20 weeks to decrease the risk as much as possible. I have researched this thoroughly and agree that this is the best thing to do in our situation, as I have already been having contractions here and there. Anyways, I finally weaned her and with as little as trauma as possible, while sad, I was elated that it had gone so well and she took it very well, although I'm still hoping she'll pick back up after the babies are born!
Anyways, here's my vent, she's been weaned for less than a week...and I took her to the doctor today and found out she has croup!!!!!!! At 19 months, this is the first time in her tiny life she has been sick and I feel like it's BECAUSE I weaned her. I really feel that if I had continued breastfeeding she wouldn't have gotten sick, I'm a stay at home mom, so she doesn't get exposed to 20 kids in a daycare everyday to contract this kind of thing so I have no idea where it came from! Just feeling angry and a tad guilty that my deciding to have another baby (make that 2) led to my daughter getting pretty sick. :(
Anybody else been in this boat before?

7 Comments

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Jessica - posted on 10/06/2010

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don't beat yourself up...you did the right thing. My son got the croup at 18 months, his only time being sick and guess what, I was still bf him. It's so hard to not feel guilt, but its your job to do whats best for ALL of your children and thats just what you are doing! your daughter and 2 on the way are very lucky to have a mom like you :)

Jessica - posted on 10/05/2010

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Yes - about a month after I weaned my daughter she got her 1st fever. Who knows if it would have happened is she was still breastfeeding, but I felt guilty. I did give her a good immune system tho because she got over the fever in a day. They will still get sick, but their bodies will be better able to fight off sickness!

April - posted on 10/05/2010

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definitely, life threw you (and Celeste) a curve ball with twins! I can only imagine the surprise when you heard TWO heart beats! But now, all good things will come in two's! I never even thought of the possibility of having 2 at the same time. It is amazing to me that more than one baby can live in our bellies! I just saw a woman with triplets the other day...and it occurred to me that that could happen too! We just never know what's going to happen in life!

Celeste - posted on 10/05/2010

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Weaning aside, It's pretty common to have feelings of guilt in regards to your oldest when you're expecting twins. My daughter had already been weaned for awhile but I had similar feelings when I found out I was having twins. I felt like I destroyed my daughter's life. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to have twins, but I was also scared to bits and guilty. We too wanted to try for "one more".

Hang in there. If you need someone to talk to that's been down the road (twin pregnancy, older sibling, breastfeeding twins) feel free to message me :)

Jodi - posted on 10/04/2010

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I know that my daughter very well could have gotten this being still fully breastfed and that it really isn't my fault. I guess, if I had ever had any inkling that I...ME...would have twins...I wouldn't have tried to get pregnant. I planned on nursing through pregnancy and tandem nursing afterwards...I just feel bad that I didn't see this coming and that her first illness happened AFTER we weaned!!!! lol
Oh well...such is life! Thanks ladies!

Jessyka - posted on 10/04/2010

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my son is fully breastfed and was sick a couple of weeks ago. one of my co-workers exclusively BF son had to go to the hospital several times in his first year of life, and her first comment to me was "imagine how much worse it would have been if i hadn't breastfed?!"

don't feel guilty for doing what is best for you and your family. you gave your daughter an amazing start, and i'm sure she will LOVE sharing her siblings milk when they are here.

good luck, momma!

April - posted on 10/04/2010

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i haven't been in this boat but i do know how you feel. i know what it is like to want another child but worry about the other child weaning prematurely. it is definitely an internal struggle for me. i do feel guilty for even the thought of wanting to be pregnant again...my son def isn't ready to wean. i also know your pain of working so hard to make sure your child doesn't get sick and then he (she) gets sick anyway. Don't worry...it is NOT your fault. Sometimes these things are just random. A child doesn't even have to be sick to get another child sick...all they need to do is pass on their germs. (sharing drinks, anyone?) Anyway, whatever happens, you've given your daughter the best possible start in life that you could!

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