Accepting that it won't get better?

Elizabeth - posted on 01/30/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My pregnancy was uneventful, looking back now I'd say it was kind of a breeze. I was healthy, he was healthy. I was well informed, had a birth plan, used hypnobabies religiously during my pregnancy. Unfortunately I fell into that trap so many women fall into, I was bullied by my OB, I was interfered with non stop, and I was robbed of giving birth naturally. After 48 hours of labor, about 24 of that with pitocin and no epidural - cesarean.

So I was off to a rocky start. My baby was taken from me and not held for an hour, a fact which still bring tears to my eyes over 3 months later. I suspect it always will. My feelings of anger, with a dash of failure, were overwhelming. He would not latch on when I finally got my hands on him. I wasn't about to give up, not on this! The birth I wanted was taken from me, no one could take away breastfeeding!!

I pumped and fed him with a syringe during our time at the hospital.
Resorted to nipple shields for about 3 weeks. Even with the shields the pain became unbearable. I was failing at this too! After seeing 3 LCs, I myself checked and realized that he was tongue tied, and lip tied. Tongue tie clipped. Nursing him becomes different at this point, but still painful. Oh, he has a bubble palate! What next? Constant vasospasms, friction blisters, milk blisters. I seek cranio sacral therapy, again different but still painful. My last resort is to try and have his lip tie clipped, but is it even worth it?

When is it time to just accept that nursing will remain painful, and decide if I'm going to bear it or give up? He is now 3 months old. I have the occasional good day, which just means it's extreme discomfort versus straight up pain. Despite everything I still cannot imagine NOT nursing him. Some days it just feels so UNFAIR. I would literally give anything to enjoy the experience.


Lori - posted on 02/01/2014




Elezabeth - I'm sorry to hear you are really having such a hard time. And congrats on sticking it out so far. Really the only one who can tell you when enough is enough is YOU. The only part I feel like I can answer to is where you ask is it worth it to have his lip tie clipped. I'd say yes! It may be the answer you are looking for. If it is, you'll be able to go forward nursing… and you may end up with the nursing relationship you've been dreaming of.
Lots of moms struggle with nursing the first weeks and months - even without tongue ties and lip ties. Despite your title to your post… IT DOES GET BETTER.
You may not have had the birth you wanted - but that is something that you can NOT change at this point… you do have to find a way to accept that it is what it is. All you can change is what happens NOW. And while all the books say to breastfeed during the first hour of babies life… that doesn't mean that if you had breastfed that first hour things would have been different. The tongue tie and lip tie would still be there, and would still be interfering with you breastfeeding your baby.
Also - have you looked into chiropractics? Some babies do need an adjustment done. If you have a lactation consultant, she may be able to recommend one that works with babies frequently. And if you don't already have a good LC, I recommend you find one….. NOW!

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