Advice Please.

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

Okay so I have 2 concerns. My apologies if I should have started two conversations to cover them. The first one. My son was born August 27 of 2010. He weighed 8'1. That was a pretty big baby for me. I am 5'3 and 135 and I worked out very intensely up until my 7 month with him. He is bf obviously, and just turned 5 months a few days ago. He weighs 12 pounds. Is this okay? I know that my doctor is going to flip and demand that I put him on formula..Yes she sucks, and yes I am in the process of finding a new one. My son nurses every 2 hours, and has since he was about 2 months. He likes to get on and get off. He is more of a snacker I guess you could say. He is reaching all of his milestones. He pees at LEAST 6 to 8 times a day and has one or two bowel movements a week. He is alert and happy and looks healthy except that he's not fat. This is the first child that I have had the opportunity to bf with so I am having trouble knowing what is normal and what is not. Now onto problem # 2.

So I have no issue nursing in public...or correction I HAD no issue nursing in public. It started with my husband asking me not to nurse in front of his grandad when we were at his house because he worried that it would offend his grandad. His logic was that we were at his grandad's house and that it wouldn't hurt anyone for me to feed the baby in the other room, so I complied. Then it turned into please don't feed the baby out in public because I don't want people seeing your body. We have had many fallouts over it. His logic is that it will not hurt me or anyone else for me to feed the baby in the car bathroom etc, but it could offend, make someone uncomfortable or cause someone to "stumble" for me to do it in public. He makes me so uncomfotable and riled that I have to have him leave the room at times so that I can let down specifically when we are out. I actually get so stressed that I can't let down in his presence. He is by no means a jerk even though this post makes him sound like one. He is really very kind and caring and does his best to make sure that I am happy and comfortable, but this is a real issue. I don't know how to handle it. At church I have to go into one of the empty rooms and feed the baby in a little kids chair. It is so uncomfortable and just pisses me off. His body issues are becoming my body issues. I don't know that I could feed the baby in public now even if I had the opportunity. Advice is most welcome.


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Lise - posted on 02/04/2011




I would wait on solids - your breastmilk has more calories than solid food. When we started solids, my daughter started losing weight.

Each baby grows at a different pattern. As long as your baby is still growing and meeting milestones, you are doing great.

"Stop or decrease solid foods, particularly if baby is younger than 6 months. Most solids foods have fewer calories and nutrients than breastmilk, plus they tend to replace (rather than add to) the higher-calorie, more nutritious breastmilk."

Erin - posted on 02/04/2011




Brittany, I breastfed my two boys each until their first birthday. I had no problems with my first gaining weight. With my second, he quit gaining weight between 4 and 6 months. At about 9 months, following a bout of stomach flu in the house, he lost a bit of weight. He was starting to feed himself at the time, so what I ended up doing was feeding him one jar of baby food and about 3 ounces of a soft finger food. What we discovered was that my second son has his father's childhood metabalism which means he could eat the entire fridge and still be skinny. Since your son is 5 months old, you could start adding some pureed food to his diet to help him gain weight.
As far as the breastfeeding in public, I think Selia hit it right on the head. It's not easy, but try not to let your husband's issues become yours.
If you don't want to give up on breastfeeding, talk to your son's doctor about other things you can do to increase his calorie intake without going to formula.

Celeste - posted on 02/04/2011




What was his lowest weight? I don't think it's a matter of percentiles, as those charts are really based on FF'ed babies. If he's gaining about 4-5 oz a week, everything's fine. Here's a chart from kellymom about the average weight gain of a breastfed baby:

As far as diet, diet will not impact the *amount* of fat in your milk. Though, "snacking" is GOOD! Squishy breasts = more fat (the emptier your breasts are, the more fat!) More info:

Honestly, if he's meeting milestones and is happy overall, I wouldn't worry about his weight as long as he's gaining. Another great article from Dr. Jay Gordon called "Look at the Baby not the scale:

I don't have any advice for the hubby though. Hopefully, he'll come around!

[deleted account]

Selia~ I went to the lactation consultant the other day and she weighed him before and after I fed him. He is getting approx. 2 and half oz from me at a time. That is after nursing from both sides. He acts content after. I was worried about milk production anyway and have been on supplements and teas etc. most of the time that I have been nursing. I have upped my fat intake and stopped excercising save twice a week so that I have enough fat for him in the milk. She seems to think (the lactation consultant) that he should be eating more than this at a time by now even though he nurses frequently. She told me to start pumping after he finishes nursing. I do, but nothing ever comes out at all once he's done. Thoughts?

Selia - posted on 02/04/2011




I can see why he would be concerned about the weight. It is mostly because he started out in the 50-75th percentile and has dropped to the less than 5%. The thing of concern is that the weight is the first to go, and the head circ and milestones the last before permanent damage, so although he is normal now the goal is to prevent it from continuing to approach unhealthy conditions. That being said, there is NOTHING wrong with your milk. A snacker gets a lot of low calorie foremilk and very little fatty hindmilk. That fat aids in the weight gain and development. So, what you should look at in my professional opinion as a midwife is how you can adapt your nursing so he can get more of that hindmilk. To do this you should make sure you are nursing as long as possible on one side before switching to the other, if at all (my DD nursed only one side per feeding for many months). This will help him get more hindmilk since the longer you nurse on a side the more it is hindmilk he is getting. You can also encourage him to nurse longer when possible by stimulating him a little if he starts to drift off or get bored.

How often do you have problems letting down? That let down is hind milk rushing to him, so when your hubby stresses you out about nursing in other people's view it is preventing your DS from getting the nutrients he so desperately needs. If you are most comfortable not going somewhere else then you shouldn't. If you explained to your hubby that his pressuring you is preventing DS from being properly nourished do you think he might let it go?

My husband was really uncomfortable at first, then I just had him look and see that you can't see anything from others' point (with baby's head in the way and all) of view and that helped.

Plus, since you mentioned church, think of how many beautiful paintings depict Mary nursing baby Jesus without hesitation or extra cover. Sounds like a weak argument but for some it is enough to click. Many men are concerned about upsetting others with the mother nursing in public THEY THINK. In reality the vast majority of the time they don't want other men seeing any part of your breast in case they find it sexual. Many of these men don't realize this is the case until you get deep into a conversation about it. So, I hope that even if you can't resolve this issue you can know that it isn't because he's embarrassed about your body but that he finds it sexual (not the nursing, but the breasts). And, he might not be sure about why he feels negative about others seeing you and that is the best reason he could think of.

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