ALL MEMBERS-PLEASE READ!!

[deleted account] ( 100 moms have responded )

Hello Breastfeeding Moms! My name is Sara and I'm the new Admin of this community. I am currently a stay at home mom of one. My daughter is 14 months and we're still BF :).



Breastfeeding is a sensitive topic to a lot of moms and we want to do our best to be supportive in this community. Recently there have been a number of posts that have sparked debates or negative comments. The controversial topic lately is weaning. Moms are becoming discouraged because they come to this community looking for support for weaning their baby and are met with questions, accusations and debates. After talking it over with our moderators we are requesting that you refrain from debating and making unsupportive comments. This includes questioning why a mother would want to wean her 12 month old or telling a mother that nursing beyond 2 is unnecessary, gross, etc. Moms need just as much support and encouragement as their babies do when it's time to wean regardless of if they choose mother-led or baby-led weaning. That time is different for each family and that choice is between mom and baby. Please keep these things in mind while posting. This is not limited to threads about weaning, but other controversial breastfeeding topics as well such as covering and nursing in public. Our goal is to make this a place where moms can come for support and encouragement whether they're nursing their 6 month old or their 6 year old :).



As a reminder the following are the community guidelines:



This group is here to support families that breastfeed. We follow the recommendations of the World Health Organization (WHO) and La Leche League International (LLLI). This group is here to promote breastfeeding and support families who choose to breastfeed. Please refrain from recommending formula in this group. Group Guidelines: 1. We do not support or encourage the use of formula. Please refrain from recommending the use of formula. 2. No posts that are threatening 3. No solicitations 4. This group does not encourage or support weaning an infant under 12 months of age for any nonmedical reason. 5. In line with LLLI we do not support or recommend the introduction of solids before 6 months of age.



General info:

Locked threads: Threads can be locked if they become an argument or have multiple flagged posts. The OP can lock their own thread at any time. Threads with 100+ responses will be locked. This allows new threads to move to the top of the board to receive attention.



Flagging: Please flag posts that violate Circle of Moms No THUMPS guidelines or our own community guidelines.



***EDIT*** If you see posts that attack a moms weaning and/or extended breastfeeding choices, you can report those by clicking the "report" button at the bottom right of the post.



Thank you!

Sara

Admin

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Katina Demetria - posted on 06/30/2010

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I agree completely Sara, we should be supporting one another not putting each other down.

Katina

CHANTAL - posted on 09/27/2010

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I'M NEW TO THIS GROUP AS WELL, IT SORT OF MADE ME FEEL SAD KNOWING MOMS ARE PUTTING OTHER MOMS DOWN. THANKS FOR THE NOTE AND THE WELCOME!!

Zeenat - posted on 07/10/2010

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hi all breast feeding mums -i think though breast feeding is the most wonderful thing in life it comes a time when weaning is necessary - we are all here to see that this transition is done in the smoothest way so that both mum and child are not disturbed. we are here to support each other completing the circle not breaking it

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[deleted account]

Kel, we ask that you don't recommend formula because it can cause serious supply issues as well as nipply confusion in younger babies. Supplementing should be determined by the mother, a lactation consultant and/or baby's doctor. The reason that the formula guidelines were put in place (before I became the admin) was because people were recommending formula to get babies to sleep longer or because mom *thought* she had low supply, etc. which as I stated earlier can cause huge supply issues. At the time this post was made (over a year ago) we were having issues with moms getting very negative comments for choosing to wean their 12 month old or for continuing to nurse well into the toddler years. That's where the support stuff comes in. Hopefully that clears things up for you. Feel free to ask me any questions. I think if you look around you will see it's a very supportive group. With these guidelines and great moderators we keep this a very positive place for breastfeeding moms and breastfeeding questions/concerns.

Sara
Admin

Maree - posted on 11/08/2011

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A little confusing as in one breath you say no one should question someone wanting to use formula,then you say this group does not condone the use of formula for non medical reasons,no one should suggest the use of formula and you SHOULD be supportive....Whooaaahhh !!!! Thats a lot to get my head around !!! So you pretty much can't say anything at all ???? Geez...that sounds like a fantastic group...NOT

Gina - posted on 02/07/2011

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To Naifa: I BF my sons to 20 and 22 months. My sister went about a year longer. It is up to you what you do. I find that after about 18 months you do the feeding at night and noone else is around anyway, who has the right to tell you what to do in your own home and probably in your own bedroom or bubs.

Bernadette - posted on 01/23/2011

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Kudos to all the Moms who have to return to work and keep on BF! In Canada we are so lucky to get a full year paid leave. I will have been nursing for 18 years straight as of Feb 5th, with the exception of the last 3 months prior to my twins birth. 8 kids!

Angela - posted on 01/01/2011

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so well put, its brilliant to have a site thats supportive and not judgemental! theres enough of that in every day society.

Jenelle - posted on 01/01/2011

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I agree ! I just posted a reply on one of the threads where a mom called another cruel for her method of weaning, and i just didn't think that was right. We are he to support eachother not be hurtful. :)

Samantha - posted on 12/26/2010

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I am a new mom and my son is 2 months old. I was upset at first because he did pretty well at latching on in the hospital before my milk really came in, but refused to latch on at home. So he was given breast milk by bottle which really sucked bc I would have to get up make his bottle, feed him, try to either put him back to sleep or keep him settled, pump myself, and then go back to bed & by then I had to get up and do it all over. It was very exhausting. I would try to make him latch on from time to time w/o any change. Then all the sudden the night before he turned a month old he latched on! It was the best night bc I didnt have to pump every 3hrs and the worst bc it felt like I was getting my nipples tattooed! However after reading some of your comments I do feel lucky bc my son will take bottle or breast w/a problem which is great when I need extra sleep and his dad can feed him and I know he is still getting the good stuff :] As far as stopping I originally said 3months bc I was nervous, but I now plan on 6 months of only breast milk atleast. I dont think I would go much farther past that & plan to only pump once he starts getting teeth! I cant have bleeding! Sorry for those of you who do. But if anyone reads this just take my advice & dont give up! Even if you pump your milk and give it in a bottle, your still doing the best for your baby! :] I also agree everyone should be supported & informed! As long as you do your best & take proper care of your child/children you should not feel bad no matter what anyone says. :]

[deleted account]

Brandy,
We support all things breastfeeding. Some moms may have to use formula (for example), but we ask that they don't recommend it to others on this page. The reason for that is supplementing can jeopardize the breastfeeding relationship. If a mom needs to supplement then that's something that should be discussed with her child's doctor and her lactation consultant. Before these guidelines were in place moms were being told to use formula to solve minor breastfeeding problems and while this advice is given with good intentions it can end the breastfeeding relationship for that mother and child. Hope this clears things up.

Sara
Admin

Brandy - posted on 12/20/2010

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I totally agree that one should not be questioned for their choices, but in the same breath you say that you guys don't support this and that, yet it's a place for people to come to be supported. I fond this contradictory, but will give the page a chance.

Katy - posted on 12/17/2010

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I feel like we as women are so nasty to each other. If we breastfeed then someone will judge us and say it's been to long and we should stop,if we use formula then people say we are Poisoning our babies and we should be breastfeeding. It's crazy!! I have 3 amazing children and I have nursed all of them to different ages. I always knew that I wanted to BF but it can be very hard. My first weened herself at 6 months, my second I weened at 7 1/2 months, and my third is 18 months and still nursing once a day. I never thought about nursing past 6 months,I didn't think it was right. After my second I felt bad for stopping when he wasn't ready so with my last I said I would go for one year. We got to one year and she wasn't ready. I wasn't ready either! She's probably going to be my last andSELFISHLY I want to do it longer. I know she doesn't NEED it anymore it's a comfort thing, like a paci or a blanket for both of us. I just hate reading though all this stuff and feeling bad for those who don't meet the "requirements". We should be focusing on positives all around and being supportive to mom's that use formula also. Maybe that way they can gain more info and might be able to BF in the future or gain something though our support instead of feeling not welcome. I LOVE BF it makes me feel almost Godly to know that I can still give life to my child and it is no question a bond that can't be experienced any other way, but it has also been a struggle at times and some people can't over come those struggles or don't have the support system to help them through. In some ways I even regret going this long because I know now that it's going to be 100% more difficult to stop for both of us. I also introduced solids with all of my children by 4 months and they all have very good eating habits and have never had problem with foods. I just think it's more important to be positive to every mom who may be curious about nursing or have questions, then to limit ourselves and each other by having these guidelines. I think we should be more open to others and stop critizing based on a little bit of what we read about each others lives.

Kim - posted on 11/22/2010

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I agree as well! We should support each other & be a model to other moms and encourage BF.

Jessie - posted on 11/21/2010

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Absolutely! Women should support each other, and especially, moms should support other moms. After all we all know how tough it can be!

Vicki - posted on 11/19/2010

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Well said. :) Thank you for stating these boundaries. It is so important that us mothers have a safe place to learn and ask questions and seek encouragement. We can be quite vulnerable about personal choices relating to our motherhood. We have a right to feel safe and affirmed. Although I feel strong now it was not always that way and it was a couple of safe voices on the other end of a breastfeeding support help-line that provided the encouragement necessary to overcome my hurdles. I know how vulnerable I felt then with so many people in my world opposing my choice to breastfeed a walking toddler. That encouragement and support was just what I needed. Thank you, Sara and moderators, for endeavouring to keep this a safe place for vulnerable mothers.

Rita M. - posted on 11/05/2010

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bravo to this!
and to toddler breastfeeding mothers!! you are my hero's!

Jenn - posted on 10/09/2010

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I most definately agree with you. My son is about to be 13 months and I dont think he is ready to stop breastfeeding. I have tried to slow down but that only works for a couple days and it goes back to how it was. It doesnt bother me to keep breastfeeding I think the only thing I dont like is the biting.

Luisa Fernanda - posted on 10/05/2010

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Im from México, and I have a boy with 15 months, i love to BF him ahd I feel happy because of it

[deleted account]

Brittany, yes it is to get different views and opinions. We're not all going to agree on everything. Hopefully we can be respectful when it comes to differing opinions.

Brittany - posted on 10/02/2010

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I totally agree. I'm actually going to leave the community because someone criticized my beliefs about schedules when I was just trying to help someone out. Isn't the whole reason for asking a question to get different views?

Gretchen - posted on 09/23/2010

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Thanks, Sara. I know I really needed the support I read about here when I was working full time and also working my butt off to pump enough for my daughter. I am sure I'm not the only one. Keeping out the arguments and put-downs is VERY important.

Katy - posted on 09/20/2010

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i just gt back to work bt still breastfeeding...pls give me tips to increase milk supply...im not getting enough for my 2mos old baby...

Emily - posted on 09/20/2010

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I am 32 and a mother of 6, I have bf all 6 for different lengths, the eldest only 10 weeks cause i was young and wanted to get back into my sports 2nd was 2 nearly 3 she was so stubborn to take the bottle, nxt 4 years not full time nights for comfort he had medical probs so i fed longer and tandem fed with no.4, no.5 fed til 3 and no6 still feeding not all day usually when sleep time , now since no6 is my last i need to decide when to ween i know he no longer needs but i love the snuggle time, people do tell me to give up but i dont care my body my baby, just imagining what my boobs will look like when i do stop LOL not nice but all worth it

Alix - posted on 09/17/2010

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As a ''modern '' Lactation Consultant working for PAMF in Dublin Ca , every mother should be able to do what ever fits her lifestyle. Support, caring education , and breastfeed for as long or short as you want to.

Alix - posted on 09/15/2010

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I am new to the community and am a Lactation Consultant who appreciates every mother who breast feeds , no matter how long. I love all breastfeeding mothers in this new world of working and managing family.

Carly - posted on 09/14/2010

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i absoutly love breastfeeding i fed my daughter till she was 2 1/2 my son till 18 mths and my twins now they are 14 mths and only now feed at am and pm but i was absolutly gutted at about 3 mths as i had struggled really hard to keep going but they were not gaining weight so i very reluctantly was encourged by neo staff to mix feed as they needed more i refused at first but in the end for their health i came to an agreement i always fed them 1st then topped them up with a special formular as they are lactose intollarant luckaly as i fed them 1st they still latched on and had as much bf as they needed 1st and often didnt take much from the bottle, they did gain weight and as they moved on in stages into solids i mostly breast fed them again alongside their meals and dropped the top ups. i would like to say i did not choose to do this and the top ups were for medical purposes but i still felt a bit sad that i was unable to solidly breast feed them but i will still carry on breast feeding till its the right time for all 3 of us

Lucy - posted on 09/14/2010

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I love breastfeeding my little girl, theres so many reasons for it i cant see why or how people are against it!!! shes only 4 1/2 months at the moment, and there's no way im weaning her off it for a long time!! She does have a bottle of baby juice as its been so hot latley!!! she doesnt get confused from the teat like the health visitor says, she knows the difference!!! hopefully this will make it easier when it does come to it. Although i am going to be introducing solid foods & sucky cups while still bf in the evenings, then hopefully gradually ween her off that and onto big girl food & drink. i am a first time mum so i hope this works!!!!!

[deleted account]

When I realized that my daughter (now 1 year old) would probably not wean anytime soon and that I was actually really ok with that, I started looking for information on extended BF. Came across a few really terrible websites, where everyone seemed to have such strong and sometimes quite hurtful opinions. I am really glad I found this site! It helps to know that there are so many non-judgemental women out there. And I do agree with the guidelines about formula. There is just so much misinformation out there about BF and I know plenty of women who had their breastfeeding-experience cut short because of well-ment but wrong advice. I was really well informed when I had my daughter, but BF around the clock was so overwhelming that I couldn't think straight and tried to give her formula regardless. Clever baby didn't take it though... Anyway, thanks a lot for being supportive to all of us moms!

[deleted account]

Very well said, I agree 100%.

I have a 14 month old daughter, we are still BF. And we have no plans for weaning anytime soon!

Tammy - posted on 09/02/2010

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My baby is 20mos and she loves to nurse!!! I plan on continuing till she is ready to stop. There is no bond like it. I have 4 children and i nursed all of them!!!!

Samara - posted on 09/01/2010

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Sara,
I agree with formual not being a quick fix but your original post did not say that it just said no formula recommendations at all. That is what I dont agree with. So it would probably be a good idea to clarify the guidelines just a little bit to make it more clear to moms that are reading them.

[deleted account]

Again, the reason that these guidelines are in place is because moms were recommending formula for easily fixable breastfeeding problems or other questions like sore nipples, fussy baby, possible low supply (which supplementing will cause real low supply), baby not sleeping through the night, etc. There are situations where a mom will have to use formula we just ask that you don't recommend it here (for example, "your baby won't sleep through the night? Try feeding him a bottle of formula). Recommendations such as this can be detrimental to your supply. A situation where the infant's life is at risk should be discussed with your child's pediatrician.

Samara - posted on 08/31/2010

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I am no longer going to be a part of this website. It once was a great way to receive information for my breastfeeding problems but I do not agree with Guidelines 1, 4 and 5. So due to the disagreement I will now be looking for help and support someplace else. This website claims to support and in most cases it does but in my son and my case this website is no longer supportive. If I would have seen the guidelines before I joined I would have never joined. My son had a non-existant suction when he was born so I had tow choices suppliment with formula or let him die. For this website to say that it is not right for a mother to suppliment with formula is inhumane. So do to this factor I will no longer support this website and I will no longer recommend this website to my friends for advice. I am currently working toward becoming a Lactation Consultant and my goal when I become one is to stop thinking like this and let the mothers choice. If they decide to BF then so be it and if they decide to suppliment with formula that is perfectly fine too. It just boils my blood that grown women would have such one streamed thinking that they would be willing to risk the lives of innocent brand new babies jsut cause studies show breastfeeding is the best. I do agree that breastfeeding is the best way to feed your child and I think every mom should at least try to breastfeed but I also think that if breastfeeding is not working for whatever reason then formula should be supplimented for the newborn babies health. So in conclusion I will no longer support this website. I understand that some moms will not agree but this is my choice and right to voice my opinion thanks to the 1st ammendment of this wonderful country. And for all the moms who do not support formula feeding I seriously hope you guys rethink this guideline because you all are inhumane for being so singleminded. Have a wonderful day

Angel - posted on 08/30/2010

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My second nursed son also self-weaned while I was prego but he was 22 mos old and he was down to nursing only at bedtime. My first nursed child (I have 2 other kids from 1st mar. that I did not nurse) I felt pushed into weaning him off by 12 mos and I was sad by that so there was NO FRICKIN way I was going to feel that way again that is why second bf child self-weaned! :) Bf child #3 (just turned 1 yr old) still going strong at nursing infact he almost refuses to eat solids with us at meal time! :) I don't forsee him weaning anytime soon and that is okay because that is right for US! :)

Mary - posted on 08/30/2010

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Thank you Sara, I completely agree. Breastfeeding your baby is such a beautiful, giving thing for a mother to do, that is is shocking and horrifying to see sometimes the judgmental and attacking posts from some of these otherwise loving moms. Moms, I know we all have trouble with our hormones occasionally and we are all very defensive of our breastfeeding decisions if they are questioned, but please let others be different from ourselves at times, because there is NOT just ONE way to be a good mom. And if you want to be a breastfeeding advocate, being horrible and attacking others does not put breastfeeding moms in a good light, quite the reverse.

[deleted account]

Thank you for this... I just recently got back on here after leaving for several months just because I was getting so tired of all the controversy. I appreciate the encouragement to keep things supportive. That is, after all, what this is for!

Shameka - posted on 08/28/2010

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I TOTALLY AGREE WITH SARA. WHY WOULD YOU TRY AND KNOCK SOMEONE ELSES HUSTLE. ALL BABIES HAVE TO BE FEED WETHER ITS BY THE BOTTLE OR TITTY LOL. PERSONALLY I THINK THAT BREAST FEED BABIES ARE MORE LIKELY TO BE ABLE TO FIGHT OF INFECTIONS AND GERMS BECAUSE THEIR MOTHERS IMMUNE SYSTEM IS GETTN IN THEIR BODIES AND HELPING THEM OUT UNTIL THEY GET SHOTS. PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO TALK ITS UP TO US TO PUT A STOP TO IT. I WAS BREST FEEDING MY DAUGHTER UNTIL ONE DAY I WENT INTO THE DOCTORS OFFICE AND EVERYONE INCLUDING THE NURSES WAS LOOKING AT ME FUNNY. I FELT UNCORMFORTABLE SO I EVENTUALLY STARTES GIVING HER THE BOTTLE AND BREAST FEEDING HER AT HOME. I HAVE SEEN SOME MOTHERS POP OUT THE TIYYY EVERYWHERE AND THAT MOTIVATED ME TO SAY F IT AND FEED MY LIL ONE HOW I WANTED TO FEED HER. SO THANKS WHOEVER YOU ARE.

Kyra - posted on 08/25/2010

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Omg...bleeding nipples. I couldnt imagine that. was it from cracking???? did you use the cream to keep from cracking?? I had the same issue about being pregnant and stopping breastfeeding too. My daughter was eighteen months old and I was pregnant when she bit me too much and we became done at the same time.

Christy - posted on 08/25/2010

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Thank you for your post. I weaned my daughter completely last week at almost 14 months now. I think whether a mom weans or breastfeeds past 2 is her and her immediates family's business. I am an older mom and I believe you do what is best for you, your baby and your family. Good luck to all those breastfeeding. I am a big supporter of breastfeeding and even 2 weeks or 2 years does benefit for you and your baby.

Joseline - posted on 08/14/2010

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Completely agree! Being a young mother, (I turned 18 one week after my beautiful daughter was born), I felt maybe I wasn't capable of BFing since I was concerned about my age and size (LATE bloomer! lol) and I was never comfortable with myself. The best thing any mother or expectant can do is GET INFORMED!!!! I received BFing classes from wic and it was awkward to talk about at first but as any mother I only wanted the best for my child. She is 3 weeks as of tomorrow&I am proud to say she hasn't yet tasted formula, nor am I planning that she does. Getting informed is the best thing you can do ladies!

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