
Holly Janelle - posted on 02/24/2012 ( 14 moms have responded )
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Please I need advise my 11 mo DD has nursed to sleep(for naps everything she is very attached) and co slept with my DH and I since she has gotten home from the hospital 11 months ago. I'm ready to have my bed back and so is my DH. I tried the side car thing but it just hasn't been working out for us. I want to figure out a way to get my DD to sleep in her own crib and try to make it as smooth of a transition as possible.
I'm scared about how hard it's going to be on her. I don't want it to hurt her mental health and and cause her to feel like she can't count on me or feel confident in herself and surroundings. I dunno I feel like a mess.
With DH he wants OUR space back where we can have our alone time and cuddle time (if you know what I mean) without her being in OUR area or worrying about waking her up. He's not even interested in being intimate at all it's bothering him so bad an it's driving me crazy.
Please help me. Any helpful suggestions/advise ANYTHING would be completely welcomed! Thank you soo much
MOST HELPFUL POSTS
Lydia - posted on 03/04/2012
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Start with nap time. try to get her to sleep in her crib for the naps so she gets used to the new sleep environment. And than try it for night time. As soon as you get her to nap in her crib, you might as well use the nap time at least on the weekends for some romance... it would provide a time for you as a couple alone in your bed! That's what me and hubby did for a long time. Nap time romance!
As to get her to go to sleep without nursing her to sleep you can try nurse her bit earlier than usual and try to keep her awake during the nursing session and than put her down when still awake but sleepy.
Holly Janelle - posted on 03/07/2012
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Sounds like we are having the same kind of issues just in our own way. Again what you said gave me relief and made me feel better. Your such a hood mommy and wifey! Your DH is lucky that you devote those two hours on Wednesday some DH would die for their wives to do just that.
Your right everything does change when you have a baby. The problem is we decided to get pregnant 2 months into the relationship and that's exactly what happened! We NEVER had time to ourselves :( crazy decision uh ya do I regret it? heck no I would never take it back even if i had the chance to go back in time. I'll just keep trying to make the best out of these crappy situations and hopefully I'll see something positive changes sooner rather than later :)
Woohoo date night for you tonight!! I wish you a wonderful night full of cuddling and fun times :)
Thank you again Lori!
Lori - posted on 03/07/2012
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Holly - I'm glad to hear your DD is transitioning to her crib pretty well. Hopefully she'll start sleeping longer stretches for you soon too. :)
As for DH... all I can say is.. that sucks! Having a baby certainly changes things. My DH and I argue much much more since we've had kids than we ever did before. Part of it is certainly sleep deprivation. Neither of us is getting as much sleep as we'd like. And part of it is lack of time for just the 2 of us together. Even though we see each other every evening after he gets home from work, and weekends - it's not like we're spending time "together". We're entertaining the kids and doing family things... but heaven help us if we actually start to have a conversation. We are ALWAYS interrupted by either the baby needing something or our preschooler wanting to know what we're talking about and what does that word you just said mean mommy or just needing to be center of attention. And once we get the LO's quiet again... either he's distracted now or I am and we never finish a conversation. Then by the time we get both kids to bed we're also ready for bed. On the rare night that we'd both be up for staying up and spending time together.... one way or another... it never fails that that's a night that either the 3 year old wants to sleep in our bed, or the baby decides to wake more frequently. Ugh!
Things have gotten just a itty bit better for us since the baby turned 1, and I've hired my 14 year old neighbor to watch both girls on Wednesday nights for 2 hours. She watches them from 5 - 7 at her house. That way we have 2 hours to ourselves right after he gets home from work, but before we have to start bedtime routines. Sometimes we go out and have dinner together, other time we just stay in. But either way we can actually have a little bit of conversation. I still get mad at my husband on those Wednesdays if he tries to just come home and turn on the TV. I know he's tired and just wants to relax... but he also complains about our lack of a sex life. I find my interest in it increases a bit once we've spent some uninterrupted time together.
So I guess here's my tip... try to find a way to spend even a little bit of quality time together. Even if it's not spent being intimate.. it may lead to more intimacy later.
Sandie - posted on 03/05/2012
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I know it may sound a bit silly, but I found that as soon as I wasn't scared of waking him up when I put him down, my little one was fine. I would lay him down once he was well out of it, but I was terrified he was going to wake up and stay awake for hours and I'd be exhausted, resulting in me being so tense and trying to move so slowly to lay him down that he must have felt it, and always woke up. One night I was so tired, when he was asleep I just plopped him in his bed, (sounds bad, I was gentle of course but just laid him down with no "careful, don't wake the baby" feelings) and he stayed asleep. It was a quick "put down" so they was no slight tremble as I slowly eased him into his bed and wriggle my hand from under him.
Good luck!! It will all happen eventually, just stay chilled as best you can, and take the time while your little one is in your bed so discover other parts of the house with your hubby ;) can be quite enlightening, lol.
xx
Ania - posted on 02/29/2012
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I would start with putting her to crib for the first part of the night and teach her to fall asleep on her own without breast in her crib with you standing there and singing or something to comfort her until she falls asleep, but do not take her out of the crib. If she gets up you can hug her and wisper that it is ok and put her down. You will probably repeat that process many times first few bedtimes. It will take a while especially during the first week, but it will get better. If she will learn that crib is good and you are positive about it, she will get it. If it does not work all night you can just take her back to bed in the middle of the night, but also step by step try to cut it back. It will probably take a month, maybe more but it will work. Just be patient.