does anyone know of a baby who simply refuses to breastfeed for no apparent reason??

Daniela - posted on 08/05/2011 ( 43 moms have responded )

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my daughter just won't breastfeed. she starts crying the moment she sees my breast. i don't know what the reason is. theres milk coming out! if i had a reason why she wont do it i could move on and get over it but the fact that its a mystery is killing me. what makes me even more mad is that all the research i've done on breastfeeding issues never says that sometimes a baby just wont do it, so i need to know why she won't, but if someone could tell me they've had or known someone else whose had the same problem, i'd feel a lot better.

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Erin - posted on 08/07/2011

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Sometimes if there has been a difficult birth baby will not feed in the beginning. Try lots of skin to skin contact (try getting totally topless) and sit in a comfortable place, in a darkened room where it is quiet. Try to relax as much as possible and just hold the baby. Do this as long as possible. When both you and baby are calm, try again putting the baby to your breast to feed.

Tania - posted on 08/07/2011

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How old is your baby? It could be a number of things. When you said there is milk coming out, do you mean literally coming out without the baby latched? You could have an overactive letdown and your baby could be overwhelmed by it. What you would do it nurse (or pump) until let down, take baby off, allow your milk to spray into a burp cloth and then have baby latch back on. This can help regulate your letdown and keep baby from getting overwhelmed. I know it's frustrating (I had it and a very, very puky baby for several months), but keep at it! It's so worth it. See a IBCLC or visit a LLL meeting for help.

Gemma - posted on 08/13/2011

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It's quite common for babies to feed well in hospital and for some reason struggle when they get home. Change of environment, maybe you held her differently in a differet chair or something? Maybe you ate something that changed the taste of your milk, or took some medication...Could be all manor of reasons. The thing is to not worry about what happened back then and address the issue now. She has forgotton how to use the breast because she has been using abottle instead. You can help her relearn by ditching the bottle in favour of a cup, ask you LC to show you how to cup feed. The action in cup feeding is very similar to breast feeding. It is a big faff, frustrating for baby at first (because she will need to learn something new and it's a lot slower than bottle feeding) and probably quite frustrating for you too until you get the hang of it, but well worth it if you want to get her back to the breast. Certainly worth talking to you LC about, she will show you how to do it and explain how it will help you baby forget about bottles and help her get back to the breast.

Charlotte - posted on 08/07/2011

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It's actually not that uncommon for a baby to suddenly refuse the breast for one reason or another: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby... You say you've seen a lactation consultant several times; what sort of insight/suggestions has the LC given you? Has it always been the same LC, or have you seen different ones? I found that with my breastfeeding difficulties, I saw several different LCs, and finally one was able to help me.

Shannon - posted on 08/14/2011

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Have you called a lactation consultant? My son nursed fine for the first month and then began to push away from the breast in a panic. He was totally refusing and would cry if the breast got anywhere near him. Then the lactation consultant told me that I had an oversupply of milk and was drowning him because it was coming out to fast. I had no idea! I didn't even know that this was possible! she showed me some new positions and helped me slow the flow and amount a bit and after a few weeks we were fine and he ended up nursing for two years after that. It was a very scary time though. I hope that you guys work it out.

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Mercy - posted on 09/09/2011

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Babies don't suck breast if milk is not there when they need.

Try pumping and see whether you have enough supply for the baby. If you have enough supply try extracting milk by yourself to see the flow is good. If you suffer to extract by yourself then baby surely gonna suffer to extract herself as flow should be easy for the small one.

If flow is good but baby don't latches well, use breast pumps and extract and introduce feeding bottle for the intial need to fill her stomach.. Later she would latch on your breast..

Natasha - posted on 09/08/2011

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i have 3 children and my youngest 6months old now wouldnt breastfeed at all from birth. the nurses at the hospital helped me and he still wouldnt latch on properly. she said it could be bcause he keeps his tounge on the topof his mouth when he tries to feed when it should be under the breast. it was very stressful as i wanted to breastfeed as i had done with my other 2 boys. i used a breastpump for 3months and tried all the time to get him to attach over the 3months but he still wouldnt. i hoe this will help. no one could tell me why or what i could do to help his attach...

Marjorie - posted on 08/22/2011

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Have you had a doctor check out her mouth - maybe for ulcers? She also might not like something you are eating or your let-down is coming too slow for her or too fast. Breastfeeding consultant?

Charlotte - posted on 08/20/2011

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I agree with the LC; even a tiny bit of pumped milk is still gonna do the baby a world of good, and good for you for continuing with the pumping throughout all this! You have every right to be proud of yourself. *hugs*

Daniela - posted on 08/20/2011

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ive decided that im done trying. its too hard mentally and emotionally. but my LC did say something that made me feel better. she said that i could think of the little pumped milk she does get is like a little vitamin. that made me feel so much better! i gave it my all to get her to breastfeed for 2 months and though im still sad and tear up everytime i talk about breastfeeding, im proud of myself for not giving up sooner. thank you everyone for your advice and support :)

Katie - posted on 08/17/2011

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My sister's baby was tongue tied, meaning that the little flap of skin that ties the tongue to the bottom of the mouth extended too far into the front of his mouth. This meant that when his mouth was open to feed he couldn't get his tongue to compress the aureola and squeeze the milk out. With the breast shields he would try for longer because the nipple is fatter and some milk will come out, but it wasn't enough (like in your case). My sister ended up pumping and feeding breast milk by bottle for 3 weeks until he was able to have surgery to have the little flap of skin under his tongue trimmed. Once that was done he was able to nurse from the boob and she then breast fed exclusively until he was weaned.

Maybe you should have a pediatrician look in her mouth to see if she has a physical problem with breast feeding. You can probably get an idea yourself if you compare her mouth with google images of tongue tied and normal babies.

One of the big things I took away from my sister's experience was that if you express and keep your milk supply up it is possible to get some babies to take the breast back after bottle feeding, even after several weeks.

Anna - posted on 08/16/2011

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It could be a nursing strike, doesn't mean she's weaning. Try pumping in the meantime to keep up your supply and keep offering her the breast. A lot of babies refuse to nurse when they're teething.

Daniela - posted on 08/16/2011

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it is the most frusterating thing about being a mom so far, not the sleep deprivation or when she screams for no reason, its the fact that she wont BF which is supposed to be so natural and wonderful. i wonder what moms and babies did 100 yrs ago when there was no formula or other way to feed a baby.

i keep telling myself just keep trying and when shes 2 months, if shes not BF then im done.

Melissa - posted on 08/15/2011

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My baby did the same thing. First he refused just one side, and we had to supplement feed with a bottle, and I checked with an lc, who said I wasnt doing anything wrong. I got a nipple shield, which made him more lazy, and he eventually started refusing that. I finally found another lc, and she helped him latch, but then the screaming started, which is where you are. Mine wouldnt take the bottle anymore, so I had to suffer through.
I.used to let him scream, then put him in the swing and let him fall almost asleep, and it would trick him into eating.
But you sound as angry and frustrated as I was. I ended up hating breastfeeding, and my son developed a bad relationship with food for the first year. I felt like I hated being a mom because it was a big fight. I always felt like it was about control.with him. He couldnt do.it himself, so he had to throw a fit, and he also.didnt want to go.to sleep, and bf made him conk out every time.
I wish now that I had been able to quit, and bottle feed. Weigh your mental.state. It isnt worth it if you can only see your baby as a source of frustration.
But there is hope, if you can stick it out mentally. Suddenly, at four months, he just started eating better. We had introduced cereal and some fruit, and bf for naps. Suddenly, when he had more variety, and awake time, he stopped.
Teething brought it back, but some orajel just before he latched helped fix that.

Krystal - posted on 08/15/2011

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i had that problem to and it was what i had ate or drank the milk didnt taste appealing and i had to pump and then see if anything changed and he started drinking again..if she still dont want anything then she prob has developed a diff taste

Bridjett - posted on 08/15/2011

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Sounds like a supply issue then. Drink LOTS of water. By the way I nursed 4 children successfully with a shield. One of them for a year and a half.

Daniela - posted on 08/15/2011

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we did try to use the nipple shield and worked well for a while but when i tried to use it exclusively for 3 days or so she wanted to eat for 4 hours straight (i thought it was cluster feeding) and she wasnt have enough dirty diapers so i realized she really wasnt getting enough so i had to put her back on the bottle. i do pump but im only getting 1oz from both sides combined. and im taking motherlove more milk plus which i think is the only reason i still have milk. shes seems now that she wants to breastfeed but shes try to suck at my breast like a bottle so we're going to a la leche league meeting today so hopefully they can help me.

Gemma - posted on 08/15/2011

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They also create a barrier between mum and baby, which inhibits the hormone that produces breast milk meaning long term use almost always means a reduction in milk supply. Nipples shields are ok for short term use but not a long term solution. You also need to make sure you get the correct size because a wrongly fitting shield can do more harm than good, and unfortunately 'off the shelf' brands only seem to do 'one size fits all' (in the uk anyway), which in my experience just doesn't work!

Gemma - posted on 08/14/2011

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"It has been a long and arduous journey, but i kept telling myself that i know that it's worth it and that breastfeeding is really healthy for her, so i stuck with it."
Well said! And well done, a lot of people do give up when it doesn't happen straight away. I have a lot of respect for mums who stick at it and get there in the end.

Lisa - posted on 08/14/2011

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I had that problem with my 2nd baby. She would scream her head off when I tried to nurse her!! I ended up pumping for 10 1/2 months, but if I would've known better I would've called a lactation consultant. They can be miracle workers when it comes to nursing. I definitely was very upset by the fact that she would nurse, but I was still able to give her breastmilk in the bottle so I was pretty okay with that. I think that babies come out with preferences and some just don't prefer the breast....try pumping and at least she'll get all the breastmilk goodness :) Good luck!!

LaLasha - posted on 08/14/2011

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She maybe on a nursing strike. Has anything happened recently? Maybe you were gone longer then normal? Or she bit and you reacted in a way that scared her? Also has her latch changed at all? She might be in pain teething or thrust/foot and mouth also can bring on a nursing strike. I hope you and your nursling work it out.

Gemma - posted on 08/13/2011

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As with most this it can take a lot of time before things work, be careful not tho write things off as having not worked before you have given them plenty of time (sometimes weeks) to work.

Daniela - posted on 08/13/2011

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thank you, i will talk to my LC. everything else hasnt worked so got nothing to lose i guess

Charlotte - posted on 08/12/2011

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Yeah, I don't know what could have started the problem. Obviously, as you said, it didn't start out as a bottle preference. Did your breasts get very hard when your milk came in? I'm just thinking how when my first baby was about 4 days old my milk came in with a vengeance and my breasts were so hard by baby refused to latch. It was a scary time for me. I hope the LLL group can help; maybe some other moms there will have gone though the same thing.

Daniela - posted on 08/12/2011

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ya i did. but how could she have a preference for something she never had?? i mean of course now she has a bottle preference but i dont get how she did when she was 4 days old and had never had a bottle. now i can get her to get on my breast but shes not latching on right and i dont know what to do to fix it. im going to a la leche league support group on monday so hopefully they can help... :-/

Daniela - posted on 08/10/2011

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she drinks breastmilk from a bottle just fine. i cuddle with her all day every day. i dunno what the problem is but its frusterating :(

Lisa - posted on 08/10/2011

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question: will she take breast milk from the bottle?
I ask because she may have allergies to something in your milk or breast milk all together. and she cries because it hurts her tummy. Also what are you eating? chocolate and coffee are two huge offenders that cause a lot of tummy problems in a baby. Onions and garlic cause gas. Just remember she's new and isn't used to processing foods just yet, so somethings may bother her. I had a baby who cried every time he farted. He wasn't used to gas and so he cried. Now he's 10 and does just fine. lol.
Just pay attention to what you eat, and how your baby responds directly afterwards. Also, if you are stressed your baby will feel that too and cry. Stress also changes the milk. Your milk is made from whatever is in your blood stream, the good, the bad, the hormones, the stress hormones, the coffee--whatever. Try burping her more often too. Also--I'd try laying in bed, with the lights low, and snuggling and offering to nurse her like that. Maybe she just wants some quiet time with you?

Daniela - posted on 08/10/2011

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that sounds like my daughter.. she was jaundice for 2 weeks and then her pediatrician told me to give her formula. my milk took a while to come in which is why i think she might have stopped BF. she was hungry and pissed and didnt want to bother to try anymore. when we took her home from the hospital she went like 6 hours without eating and i panicked and couldnt find the number to the hospital so i gave her a bottle. i regret that everyday. but now if i do get her to latch on, i know milk is coming out but sometimes shell stop eating, realize what shes doing and starts screaming and pushes herself off me. i know it sounds crazy but i think she does it on purpose cuz she sees how happy it makes me and then she stops. and one day she didnt seem to want to finish her bottle of breastmilk and i told her she had to because mommy worked so hard for it and she gave me the evilest little smile and wouldnt keep eating. i know shes a baby but i really feel like shes trying to torture me lol im giving it till the end of the month when shes 2 months and then i officially give up. :(

Tania - posted on 08/09/2011

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I been having the same problem.
My daughter is now 4 months and exclusively breastfeed. it all started at the hospital i think. before i gave birth i had read several books ( "the womanly art of breastfeeding" and "what to expect when expecting) so i figured i should be ok.
I should also let you know that i have inverted nipples, meaning when pressure is applyed to my breast near the areola the nipple is sucked into the mid section of the breast.
at the hospital i tryed to nurse Elunia after birth and she wouldn't latch.. i keep trying and eventually that night she did for a little bit. but by the next day she wouldn't again, and that's when the nurses came to "help" me. they would shove my breast in her little mouth and pinch behind the nipple to hold it in there... she cryed so violently.. but i needed her to eat. then my milk took 2-3 days to come in and my breast pump was manual and not being all that effective. the nurses suggested that i buy a doubble breast pump, which i had my fiancee pick up on his way to the hospital the next day. i cried and cried and cried, we were kept in the hospital for 5 days because elunia was jaundace. eventually i had to give her formula because my milk was taking fovever, and the nurses said that she had to eat more then i was making because of the jaundace. i didn't use a bottle to feed her because i didn't want her to get nipple confusion, so we feed her with a nippleless surenge.
On the way home from the hospital we picked up a nipple shield, and she was able to latch onto that. I used that to feed her for the first two weeks and was eventually able to introduce the breast by itself when she was sleep feeding.
It has been a long and arduous journey, but i kept telling myself that i know that it's worth it and that breastfeeding is really healthy for her, so i stuck with it.
She still crys during 50% of the feedings, and sometimes chokes during the milk let down, but i know that i have done the right thing.
please message me if you need more info :)

Tania

Chrissy - posted on 08/08/2011

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Sometimes my LO will not BF when he has a tummy ache. He'd latch, suck a little, then cry. And sometimes, when he was first getting proficient at BFing, he'd be done MUCH sooner than i thought he should be- I'd offer my breast again a couple times and he'd get mad and scream. So really, I think the other ladies are right- there could be lots of reasons why your LO is refusing. Maybe a diff lactation consultant or the Kellymom or LLL website could give you some insight. I never realized how complicated and yet wonderful it can be to BF before my little miracle. Good luck!

Daniela - posted on 08/08/2011

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i really doubt i have too much milk coming out, she stopped breastfeeding before my milk really came in. i think shes just lazy, gets it from her father lol. but thanks for the suggestions, im trying to be agressive about getting her to do it and sometimes shell give up and do it and other times she screams. im still trying to have hope shell breastfeed exclusively...

Pam - posted on 08/08/2011

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maybe you have too much milk flow? they can get pretty overwhelmed if you have too much milk, maybe pump some and feed it to her in a bottle and see how that goes just for a feeding, and then when she has calmed down and her belly is not hungry, she may be more calmer to try again. Just take your nipple and tease her mouth with it and smile at her, it might add a little positive association to the boob and she may take it

Daniela - posted on 08/07/2011

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ive tried skin to skin a bunch of times. sometimes shell latch on for maybe 5 minutes and then pushes herself off. shell be 6 weeks this wednesday. and now im starting to not produce as much milk.... ive seen one LC but am trying to find another one. i dont get what the problem is!!!

Cindy - posted on 08/07/2011

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Yes. "Nursing strikes" are not at all uncommon. Check kellymom carefully for that term and don't worry. The best thing for the baby is you! Just pump and go with it, she'll latch on again soon.

Daniela - posted on 08/07/2011

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i had never given her a bottle or a pacifier tho. thats why i dont get it. and ive seen a lactation consultant like litterally en times.... this just sucks and im losing hope and patience

Amy - posted on 08/06/2011

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A bottle doesn't require as much work for a newborn baby, so she's probably decided it's just easier to take a bottle then have to do the actual work to bf. With my daughter she only got a bottle in the middle of the night till I returned to work but once I returned to work there were times I tried breastfeeding her and she would scream. So what I would do is start her on a bottle we used playtex ventaire wide nipple (the slowest flow) and once her initial need for food was satisfied I would switch her onto my breast to feed, that seemed to help. One other thing I did while we went through stages where she was bf'ing as often was I would do a dream feed before I went to bed so she would really be asleep but would feed because it was like a paci for her.
My final suggestion would be is to try and pump first to get a letdown and so you aren't so engorged. When I came home from the hospital I was so engorged and my daughter wouldnt latch because the were rock hard I went and bought a pump to that she could actually latch on. Hope this helps, if all else fails I would call a lactation consultant and see what they have to say, even if it means going back to the hospital where you delivered. You could also ask your pediatrician, he actually called one and put them on the phone with me during one of our first check-ups!

Daniela - posted on 08/06/2011

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shes 5 weeks but she decided to stop the day we came home from thd hospital.....

Jordan - posted on 08/05/2011

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My friends baby just stopped breast feeding at 6 months. She tried and tried, but the baby didn't want the milk anymore. So she weaned him. No one knows why, but he just made up his mind. Also it might be something your eating, your milk taste similar to what you eat. It might be something she doesn't like? And another friend said something about when she was pregnant her milk changed and so her girl stopped breastfeeding because of that. I guess it could be a many of number of things. How old is your baby? Hope that helps!

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