Does anyone regret Circumcising/Not Circumcising their son?

Ashley - posted on 06/07/2010 ( 122 moms have responded )

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.I was all for circ and had it done for my son, now someone recently attacked me over my husband and my decision, and i feel kinda bad..... my son is happy and healthy and never had a problem withit. my hubby was in the room with my son when our very trusted obgyn did the procedure, after he recieved the needle in his penis he fell back to sleep and slept through the procedure..... im just wondering everyones thoughts???

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Merry - posted on 06/15/2010

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My husband is so glad he doesnt have his foreskin. He actually wants to be able to please me in bed and even with out all those extra 20,000 nerve endings he still climaxes before me every time. He wishes he could be even less sensitive so he could hold out long enough for me to climax. He is grateful he doesnt have to worry about cleaning it. especially as he thinks to the future of old age and the men we know of who cant physically keep up with their clenliness and end up with massive infections. A few of which needed circumcisions in their 80s because of the damage done from not being able to clean it properly. Also i never would want my son to have to be circumcised in his childhood because i know of 4 boys personally who had too many infections and had to be circumcised. It was a big surgery with general anesthesia and alot of painful recovery that they will remember the rest of their lifes. As for the debate of its his choice, As parents we make many permenant decisions for our children adn they will not be able to choose for themselves. like relgion, their names, their language, their general health. Its my choice to name eric and raise him christian and to teach him english and to allow him to eat unhealthy or to teach him good food choices. Its my decision and he will have to live the rest of his life with out the choice of how he grew up. yes he can change his name, change religions and speak a different language or start eating helthy or unhealthy. But it will always be a part of him that i chose for him.
About three months before i had him circumsised i could have chosen to have him killed in a legal abortion. that is supposidy my choice as it is my body. but then as soon as he is born all of a sudden i cant make any choices for him? I have to care for him and give him everything he needs and i cant decide anything for him? He is my son and i am in charge of his well being and i will always do my best to make sure he is given the most perfect start in life i can give him. and i believe he has had human rights from the moment he was conceived, but God gave him to me to raise and if God trusts me with his son then i dont think its anyones business to try to make me look like a monster. lay off us good and loving moms who have different beliefs then you. we are no less loving then you all and a lot less rude.

Sammie - posted on 06/17/2010

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All that a vagina and a penis need for cleaning is clean water. It is not a good idea to use soap, unless it is a very, very mild soap, as soap can cause irritation.
Of course other body parts should be washed with soap, and i know to use toothpaste for brushing teeth, im not totally stupid. But the genitials do not need to be washed with anything but clean water.
How many of you have actually watched a circumcsion, and still chose to have your sons circumcised. Its a terrible thing to watch.
Do you pro-circers really think that the creator of the male human body screwed up and added something that should be removed at birth? I dont think so. The human body was created perfectly, and this includes the male human body, with a foreskin. It wasnt a mistake.
And for the men who have problem foreskins, (pain, or infections) its most likely due to being prematurely retracted when young, thats why a foreskin should NEVER be retracted until it is naturally retracible. And then it should only be done by the owner of the penis. 80% of the worlds men are intact, and have no problems with their foreskins and would never want theirs removed.
There is nothing that needs to be removed from the female body either.
Now, for the people here who have never seen a circumcision being done, please google it and watch one and then come back here and tell us what you thought.

Sammie - posted on 06/16/2010

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And an intact penis is totally self cleaning just as a vagina is. Of course you have to swish them both with a little water now and then. But nothing a boy/man couldnt handle. In fact, i bet MOST boys penis' are the one thing they dont mind cleaning. When a penis becomes naturally retractible (which can be anywhere from age 2- puberty) all they do is retract, rinse, replace. Before it becomes retractible (and it should NEVER be forcibly retracted ever at all), it should just be washed like a finger, no tremendous amount of scrubbing is necessary. Not hard at all. WAY easier than cleaning ears, or brushing teeth, and i doubt very seriously that anyone is considering removing ears or teeth because their child might forget to clean them as often as they should.

Jacque - posted on 06/15/2010

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Unless taught to be scrupulously clean, there are problems associated with uncircumcised male. There has been a lot of pressure to lead people away from circumcision, but there are concrete statistics that support the fact that the uncircumcised male has an increased risk from STD's and a higher risk of cancer(and the partner's increased risk fo cervicale cancer). I have been researching this since the 1070's, and while the studies have shanged, the facts have not. After much debate/research/prayer/advice from uncircumcised relatives, we chose circumcision for our sons (from the 70's-90's), and have not regretted it at all. Even during the "hippie era and even through having a doctor "attack" us and force us to watch because he felt it was barbaric. Our boys (men now) are thankful. Many have been in the service (you do have to think about your "adult" son) and deployed overseas. Many young servicemen were circumcised then because of the risk of infection during their period in an unclean area(now THAT is painful). The Nationaly Academy of Pediatrics now states that is an "unnecessary" procedure, but has recently stated that female circumcision is okay!! I find that totally ironic and bizarre. I have been parenting for 35 years and continue to care for "special needs" children. I always advocate for these boys circumcision, I am NOT going to personally do this care for them. A circumcised penis is clean and needs no care, you cannot say the same for the other (and someone tells you different, they are not realistic and are putting their son at risk in later childhood/adulthood-an uncircumcised penis is NOT self-cleanig). Unless you are very certain that your boy will be kept clean from late childhood on and will maintain that, then you may want to reconsider feeling guilty over doing it. Personally, I don't believe you should give anyone that power to make you feel one way or another. Make the choice you feel comfortable with, make sure you do ALL your research (and that means getting info from an adult male if possible), and then go with your gut. Don't be pushed around by militants (and there will always be those for every topic in parenting). Good luck!

[deleted account]

In my opinion, it's definitely a personal decision. The person having/not having this unnecessary surgery is the one who should make the decision.

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Kerri - posted on 06/27/2010

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Absolutely agree with the lady from ireland. I live in England and have never even see a circumcised penis. Personally if it's not medically neccessary why intervene? Similarly I do not know anyone who has had problem with an uncircumcised penis, i've seen a lot of posts in the past about this topic and it seems particularly american women get their sons done and usually come out with the 'to save them from future problems' line as a justification on why the decided to have it done.

Each to their own but I would just like to give some 'real' facts...I have NEVER heard of any problem with foreskin except from on television so really I don't think it poses that much of a problem, your more likely to get thrush and on top of that I would just like to echo the same lady who said you would not get their tonsils taken out or appendix just encase they ever had a problem in the future.

I think a lot of women in america might just go with it because it's pretty normal out their, but america seems to like intervening when it is not always needed, like their rate for c-secs and doing it just because mum wants it. I think it is ridiculous.

Linda - posted on 06/27/2010

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My son was curcumcised when he was 6months old because he had a tight foreskin and was getting infection regulary so decided to do it. I have no regrets i think was the best option.

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From Dr. Sears:

"This is a decision that many parents face. There are many misconceptions and out-of-date information that parents may read. Here is a summary of the pertinent issues that you should consider when making this decision.

1. Medical benefits - THERE ARE NONE! Do not circumcise your baby because you think there are some medical benefits. A recent review by the American Academy of Pediatrics looked at all the data from the past decades to see if there truly were any medical benefits. Their conclusion - NO. There are no significant medical benefits that make circumcision worth doing. Here are a few benefits that we used to think were true, and now know are not.

* Cleanliness - although it is true, a circumcised penis does not collect any white stuff underneath the foreskin like an intact penis does, THIS IS NOT A MEDICAL BENEFIT. It is really just one less area to wash in the shower.

* Decreased risk of STD's - this was a myth that we now know is not true.

* Decreased risk of penile cancer - it used to be thought that circumcised men had a much lower chance of cancer of the penis. We now know that this benefit is much smaller than previously thought. The AAP determined that this benefit is so tiny, it is not worth circumcising for this reason.

* Avoiding infections in the foreskin - it is true, occasionally intact foreskins get irritated. This is easily treated with warms soaks and washing. Rarely, the irritated foreskin becomes infected. This requires antibiotics to clear up, but is easily treatable. Even if this does happen once or twice in a person's life, it is not a reason to circumcise at birth.

* Avoiding the need to do it later on - very rarely, someone has a problem with recurrent infections in the foreskin that need antibiotic treatment. Some of these men then need to be circumcised in an operating room under general anesthesia. This is extremely rare, however, and is not a reason to circumcise everyone at birth.

* Avoiding bladder infections - it used to thought that circumcised boys and men had a much lower chance of bladder infections. The AAP now knows that this benefit is very small, and is only true for the first few years of life. After that, there is no difference in the number of bladder infections. Again, not a reason to circumcise.

THEREFORE, IF YOU DECIDE TO CIRCUMCISE YOUR CHILD, DO NOT DO SO BECAUSE YOU THINK THERE IS ANY MEDICAL BENEFIT.
2. Religious reasons - some people choose to circumcise for religious or cultural reasons. This is a personal decision.

3. Don't want to be teased - while this may have been true in the U.S. decades ago, the truth is that your uncircumcised kids will be in good company in the locker room when they are teenagers. Less and less people in the U.S. are now circumcising their boys.

4. Too much trouble to take care of - some people think that an intact penis is too much trouble to pull back and clean, especially during childhood. Well, the truth is, you are not even supposed to pull back the foreskin until it naturally comes back on its own between age 3 years and adolescence. So there really isn't anything to even take care of until then.

5. Want your boy to look like dad - the main difference that your child will notice between him and dad is the hair. He won't even notice any difference in the penis until he is old enough that you can then explain to him the difference.

So, what are the reasons TO circumcise? Here is the list:
Religious reasons - as discussed above.

That is all. There really is no good reason to circumcise other that personal preference and religious reasons.

Are there any reasons NOT to circumcise? Consider these:

1. Leave nature alone - whether you believe God created men with a foreskin, or nature simply evolved this way, there must be some reason men have foreskins. Why change something that God/nature has created?

2. Sensation and sexual pleasure - the foreskin is filled with nerves, and is therefore extremely sensitive to touch. This enhances sexual pleasure.

3. Protects the glans (head) of the penis - the glans is another highly sensitive area. The foreskin protects the glans from constant rubbing and chaffing against clothing that can desensitize it over the years. This preserves sexual pleasure.

4. Ethical issues - there are groups of people worldwide, including medical societies, that oppose routine circumcision because they feel it is unethical for a parent to decide to alter the penis of their child without the child's consent. Parents who are deciding whether or not to circumcise their son may wish to consider the impact this may have in the future if the child decides they wish they were not circumcised."

Circumcision is completely unnecessary, and is a violation of your son's basic human rights. Its mutilation, its harmful, and as you can see, there is only one (semi) valid justification for the practice---religious reasons. Its not medically necessary or even medically recommended.

Bernadette - posted on 06/27/2010

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I wouldn't feel bad about it - it is hardly mutilation, as claimed by some - it is the removal of a little bit of excess skin, and in the long run helps it to keep clean so how is this mutilation?

Tanya - posted on 06/26/2010

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I think a few people need to get off their soap box- you've had your say, we heard you. Move on.

Kate - posted on 06/21/2010

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Gina,

If you post any question or thought on any board, you cannot expect people to agree with you and encourage you 100% of the time. People will disagree and they will let you know, politely. That's what happens when you ask a question -- you get different thoughts and opinions! If you only want to hear encouragement and agreement, don't post online!

Sammie - posted on 06/20/2010

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Female genital mutilation and male circumcision are very similar.
They are both unnecessary altering of the genitals on unconsenting individuals.
Which i feel is wrong. Circumcise yourself, leave others alone.
If they want circumcised they can do whatever they want with THEIR genitals when they are adults.

[deleted account]

Where does it say debating forum? I thought it was a place where Mum's can be encouraged and given advice if that is what they want to have for parenting. Debating something is a whole different ballgame.

Bernadette - posted on 06/20/2010

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I don't have a son (yet, anyway) so I haven't had to make this decision. However, I read an interesting medical article while I was pregnant with my daughter that actually said that in adults, there is a higher rate of cervical cancer in women whose partners have not been circumcised. Interesting thought, hey?

Kate - posted on 06/20/2010

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Sarah is correct, they are much the same in their usual forms. There are WORSE forms of FGM (Female Genital Mutilation -- yes, that's what it's called on a girl!) where they have their clitoris entirely removed and their labia sewn nearly shut, but in many cultures it is only a "ritual nick" or removal of the clitoral hood, which IS the same as male circumcision.

Also, newer studies have shown that circumcision really does NOT protect against STDs or anything like that, the early studies were not well conducted. It's NOT more hygienic or easier to care for (if you're caring for an intact penis by doing more than wiping the outside until past babyhood, you're doing too much). Intact penises also have more sensation in adulthood. You probably don't want to think about your baby's future sex life, but...there it is.

I would never, ever do it. (Real) Science says no too.

Sarah - posted on 06/20/2010

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please don't say that female circumcision is completely different, because it's not. there are many forms of female circumcision, one of which is only the removal of the hood of the clitoris, which is pretty much the exact same thing as the male foreskin.

some female circumcision is just a "ritual nick" as they say, where just the tiniest slit is made in the clitoris or the clitoral hood, even less of an invasive procedure than male circumcision. and yet... there are laws in place in the united states and many other countries protecting little girls from even the tiniest pinprick to their genitals. none protecting little boys from having a part of their penis removed shortly after birth.

here is where someone comes back and says "but it's more hygienic and it helps prevent STIs and penile cancer and wob wob wob"... and here is where i say that those are many of the same reasons given by medical professionals in positions of power in countries where female circumcision is still routinely performed.

and also where i say that a man is more likely to get breast cancer (.7%) over penile cancer (.09%).

and where i mention that the US has the highest male circumcision rates (approximately 50%) in the world and also the highest likelihood in the Western world of a man contracting a sexually transmitted disease or infection.

Diane - posted on 06/20/2010

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This is hot topic of debate and I never knew that until I already had 2 kids. My first son is circumcized but my infant twins are not. I definitly do not regret that the younger ones aren't circumcized but I'm up in the air about it with my older son. The tradition is important to my husband (we're not Jewish) but for me it's just one more thing to worry about. I don't have strong feelings about it one way or the other but if it were totally up to me none of our boys would be circumcized. That being said, I don't think it's a problem that others do have their infant boys circumcized. I do feel like there's a cut off point for how old they are, like if they're old enough to injure themselves while healing then they're too old and parents ought to wait until they are old enough to make that decision for themselves. I know some people liken it to female circumcision but if you know the difference in those two procedures I don't see how you can even compare the two.

Rachael - posted on 06/20/2010

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We had our son circ after a TON of research as well. I thought LONG and hard about it, researched the pain of the procedure, different pain reduction methods, and the pros and cons of leaving him uncirc. we proudly chose to circ. our son and will never regret the decision. You are a competent mother and should not be made to feel otherwise by anyone. You do not have to make a decision about future children now, as research is ever evolving. you can make that decision either way you choose when the time comes!

Jenni - posted on 06/20/2010

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ok, geez. I did circ my son and yes I regret it. I regretted it the moment they put him back in my arms and I saw the sore red bloody penis. He did not seem to mind, but I could have died at that moment.

We were on the fence about circumcision. But I saw one of the OBGYNs at the office I go to who was VERY anit-circ and pushed her cause all over us to the point when we said we were still undecided she said "I'll just write no and you can change it if you want later". I wish she would have been less pushy in the way she presented the inormation to us because all it did was make us go in the other direction. It's unfortunate, but human nature i suppose.

Anyway, if I ever have another boy he will not be circumcised, but I would never ever judge anyone else for doing it.

My son is 15 months old now and he seems super sensitive down there, duh I know, but I always wonder if I had not had the circ done, would he be more comfortable.

All I can do is say how horrible I felt for doing it and that I would not be choosing to do it again and maybe it would help someone else to decide to leave it natural.

Shanna - posted on 06/20/2010

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As a nurse who has seen older men have to get circ's later in life and a mom I say you did nothing wrong. I have seen many men in pain because when they get into a nursing home or just aren't able to care for them selves anymore. The foreskin closes around and they are unable to clean themselves and then they get an infection. But still no one has the right to tell you, you are wrong on this.

Jennie - posted on 06/19/2010

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I regret it a bit because my son adhesions and has to see a pediatric urologist but if everything went well, then I wouldn't have any regrets.

Angela - posted on 06/19/2010

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I have read a lot of the responses here and have already posted about whether or not i regret circumcising our sons. But I thought I would add that I dated a Muslim--Turkish Cypriot, and they are circumcised when I believe they are 11. It's a total ceremony/ rite of passage where they ride on a horse, take pictures, have a party etc. I saw the photos and the photos of his friends... he was so proud of that moment in his life, as were all his friends. I was quite horrified, and saddened to think that he (and all the other little 11 year old boys) were brainwashed into doing it, he couldn't believe I was so shocked by his cultural norm. But at 11 would a boy in that culture really stand up and say I don't want this done, if so would anyone respect his wishes? Probably not, so you're back to the same issue...it not being his choice. Whether you are making this decision based on your religious beliefs or personal, isn't it the same? But it seems to me the religious excuses seem to get the slack in this debate. This subject is a hot one and there will never be one right way because we all look at it thru different lenses. Once you really understand that, you'll come to peace with your decision and not worry about what anyone says or feels about it!

Tonia - posted on 06/19/2010

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I didn't have either one of my boys circumcised. Their dad wasn't so I didn't feel it was necessary. As they've gotten older I've wondered if they would get mede fun of in athletics from the other boys at school. It hasn't seem to have been a problem. I remarried and just had a little girl. Before I knew I was having a girl I wondered if I would make the same decision not to circumcise because my current husband is. I asked the opinion of boys. They felt that if it was a boy that I should not circumcise and they were very comfortable looking the way they do. It made me feel better about my decision.

Erin - posted on 06/19/2010

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Just like with every decision we make as parents, I believe very strongly that we should make our OWN, educated decision, and not do things one way or another ONLY based on what others "say is best". As long as you have researched and feel confident that you are making the choice that is best for YOUR family, then you should not worry! Then, if you're ever asked or confronted about it, at least you have something to say about why you chose that way instead of "my doctor said" or "my mother said" or "whoever said"! That's what makes me crazy sometimes! lol And for the record, I was completely against circumcision from the beginning, and my husband was the complete opposite, but he didn't know why (it was just because "that's what you do" lol), and after we both TOGETHER researched it from every angle, we made the decision based on that, not emotions or one of us trying to shut the other one up HAHA We did NOT have our son circumcised, nor will we have any future sons (including the one I'm carrying right now) circumcised either! There are lots of things I regretted about my first pregnancy and my "parental decisions" from when my daughter was little, but I know now that I have learned from my own past mistakes and now educate myself on everything that comes up.

Layla - posted on 06/19/2010

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I chose not to circumcise because it is not medically necessary and like all surgeries, it can have complications: infection, scar tissue, excessive bleeding and even death. (about 185 baby boys die every year because of circumcision)
I wanted my son to be whole and complete, just as nature intended. I didn't want him missing some of the most sensitive tissue on his entire body. I also didn't want him to have a gaping wound on his penis because that is what essentially is there after all that skin is cut off. I have seen circumcisions before and they are terribly traumatic for babies. They often "go to sleep" but in reality, they are not sleeping, they go into shock and shut down.
only 20% of the world's male population are circumcised.
The US is one of the only countries where non-medical, non-religious, routine circumcision is performed on newborns. But that trend has been changing as more and more parents become aware that it is best to leave boys alone. It's my son's body, it's his penis and I have no right to remove a functioning, sensitive part of his penis.
I know a lot of adult men who are intact, and none of them are lining up at the doctors to have a part of their penis cut off. In fact , they are all quite horrified at the idea.

Meagan - posted on 06/19/2010

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I knew all the facts about circ before we had it done with our first child. I was indifferent, but my husband wanted it done. I was in the room with him when they did it, and it was the worst experience of my life. I don't want to say that I regret doing it. He is a healthy, happy boy and doesn't remember it at all. I'm 36 weeks pregnant and hoping this one will be a girl because I don't want to go through it again. We are doing a homebirth this time, and I don't want to do everything to give this baby a peaceful birth and then take him in to get him circd. We have discussed that if it is a boy we will have it done b/c I don't want one of the boys to feel insecure because they look different than the other boy. Lets just all hope it is a girl and I don't have to make that decision!!!

Briana - posted on 06/19/2010

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Actually, if anyone is interested, I started a community called "Unleashed Debating". It's where you can debate anything and everything. We have this particular kind of debating on an Army wives forum I was a part of. If your interested, check it out :)

Briana - posted on 06/19/2010

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Actually, it's a breastfeeding forum. Maybe a debate forum should be started :)

Kate - posted on 06/19/2010

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I did not have it done and would never have it done. I did a lot of research before coming to that decision. For your son, what's done is done, but if you feel guilty, do research and possibly choose differently next time.

[deleted account]

Brianna, I haven't noticed anybody judging anyone else here. What I have noticed was many women explaining their decision on the issue of circumcision, and the reasoning behind their decision. People have agreed/disagreed with each other and explained their reasons for agreeing/disagreeing.

It is a debating forum, after all.

Briana - posted on 06/19/2010

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Your right Gina!! I made that point long ago in the post and it was lost on many people. We, as parents, must constantly make decisions for our children. And there's probably always going to be a decision we make for them that they will not agree with. I know my parents made a decision for me here and there that I did not agree with. It's because NO ONE IS PERFECT. But, as their child and an open minded person, I do not hold it against them because I understand their hands were tied.

So, in this particular discussion, you make a decision for your child either way. Either you decide to wait and let him decide, or you decide to circ. Either way you run a risk of your son not being happy with your decision. He can be just as angry for you NOT doing it, as some of you think he might be angry for taking away the chance to make his own decision. We will always run the risk of our children not agreeing with a decision we make that concerns them. IT'S CALLED PARENTING!!

What is sad that our society is so concerned with everyone else's decisions, that we forget to just lead our own freakin lives! I am not saying that about anyone on here. Just what I have experienced in real life. It's a general statement. But I've noticed that we are so concerned with pointing fingers and judging each other that it gets to the point that it angers us and stresses us out!! Maybe I feel this way because I lead a life already full of enough stress thanks to the Army haha. But really, what do you think it says about you (general you) when you sit there and judge another parent for their decisions? Does it just make you feel better about your own decision? Why should it? If you are so happy and comfortable with your decision to not circ/circ, then why judge and point fingers unless your feel guilty? I know that I am happy and content with my decision, that I could really care less what others do.

Then again, I am also coming to terms with the fact that there will ALWAYS be that someone who points their finger and jumps on their high horse about one of my parenting decisions. The important thing is that I make sure that I don't do that to someone else. I can only make sure that I take the high road, and just let everyone else live their lives and know that their parenting decisions are none of my business.

Rachel - posted on 06/19/2010

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My son was circumcised and I do not regret it. My mom works in a nursing home and she says that they have lots of problems with the men who are not circumcised. Almost weekly there is an infection of some sort and the staff has their doctors there to help take care of it. She told me that not one uncircumcised male in the nursing homes she has worked in (4 in the last 23 years) has gone without issues. She said there is a huge hygiene issue there. I have heard anti circ people say that there are no hygiene issues but that's not been my mom's experience.

A lot of anti circumcision people will call it torture. They will show you videos of babies being circumcised without any anesthetic. In my opinion that is torture. My brother was circumcised that way. But most doctors do not do it that way anymore. My son had it done by our pediatrician and he was given a local anesthetic and pain medication before. After it was done he fell asleep and woke up just like normal, never having any pain until the bell fell off 10 days later.

[deleted account]

Sorry, just thought I'd add this. There are many other decisions we make for our children too - whether or not to vaccinate them, or whether to give them formula or breastmilk. Like it or not, these issues can affect them later in life, they could get diseases if not vaccinated or some tell us they can get autism if they are (just an example, don't want to get into this subject!) So we viewed circumcision the same way, researched it and made the decision, hopefully the research is correct and we made the right ones, only time will tell. Thought this might help put things in perspective, our children are 100 per cent dependent on us, therefore we HAVE to make these decisions for them. Sometimes they're tough but if you were confident with your research, then be happy with your decision and that your son has not suffered in any way. (I can't believe there are doctors that would not provide pain relief for the procedure!!!)

[deleted account]

Bit of a hot topic hey Ashley? But I'm not here to judge anyone as the question was "does anyone regret circumcising or not circumcising"? No one should be attacking anyone on here, it should be a civil discussion - hint hint.

Our experience was this: my husband's whole family (male) are circumcised (not due to religion, just the done thing for males in the family). My family being from Greece are not circumcised at all. This is the key to a confident decision: do the research first, then make a decision for your child. We did, even though it was expected we would circumcise. But I wanted to know exactly what it entailed and how it was done. Now, there must be some differences here, because I researched and found a fantastic doctor who has done over 20000 procedures with 100 per cent success. What they do here in Australia is just put a band around the foreskin and after 7 or so days, the foreskin just drops off into the nappy, it was amazing. He was in the clinic for 20 minutes to put the band on (with pain relief of course, how could a doctor not) and he came out with a smile on his face! We couldn't believe it as he was only 6 weeks old. The clinic was full of couples like us. We don't feel bad doing it at all, and there were no complications. In fact, my sister and bil were crying the day he was done, feeling bad for him, but she since has done a medical course and has told me she is glad we did it - what she learnt about it was all positive. So she went from opposing me to backing me!!!

I'm telling you this purely to let you know my experience, I have tons of friends that wouldn't have done it in a million years. But I don't judge them, I'm just absolutely happy with our decision. I've learnt in a short time of having 2 children 1 and 4yo that you will be opposed at times for the decisions you make, but if you know you're parenting out of love for your child, that's all that matters. Most of the time, people are just ignorant. We as parents take full responsibility for all the decisions we make for our child and if we have made mistakes, well they are our mistakes and we have to live with that. So far so good, though. Don't beat yourself up about what others say. We've had jaws drop with the circumcision thing too, and you know what, it wasn't a big deal, my son has cried more at his vaccinations...

Jane - posted on 06/19/2010

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Altho had this condition not become an issue, we would of left him entire without hesitation.

Jane - posted on 06/19/2010

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my second son, i am very much hoping that he will not require circumcision. But should he show signs of discomfort, extreme distress at erections etc like his brother did, I will be consulting a uroligist immeadiately. With my first born, circumcision was the only way for him to get relief from daily pain. and by pain i mean floods of tears and desperately trying to hold on to his wee as he was so frightened of it hurting each time, which of course made it worse. Now he gets so excited about being able to wee without pain he has to loudly declare to everyone who will listen that his willy doesn't hurt anymore. He is much happier.

Angela - posted on 06/19/2010

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Do I regret it? Kind of. If I were a single parent, or married someone who felt the same as I, I wouldn't have done it. I do see it as, that is how we are made, leave it there. (And female circumcision outrages me!) I have read a lot of literature, propaganda etc. I've even seen the video on what a uncirc'd penis does during sex and how it is better for both parties. But my husband is circumcised and played sports and saw the ridicule of those who weren't circ'd. He is a coach now. He is biased. He didn't want that for his sons. Right or wrong, that is how he feels. He also couldn't imagine being any more sensitive in that area; he has a hard enough time "lasting" for me. He believes he'd be even quicker with the foreskin! ;) So the 2 of us had to come to a decision, as hard as this was for me, he is the one with a penis, I figured he knew best. With all of that said, I did get to experience 2 weeks of a newborn uncircumcised penis and I have to admit it was a pain to keep clean. Newborn breast milk poop goes EVERYWHERE. The hospital where I had my 3rd son did not do circs there. (My twin sons were done in the hospital). So after having a c-section I had to drive an hour away to get it done, I waited 2 weeks so I could heal. If he could have, I would have made my husband take him. But there must have been something with work, coaching for why he didn't go. My baby was numb, I stayed with him while the Novocain took affect, but they told me not to watch. So I left the building, I was an emotional wreck just walking in there! Turns out said son is a chubby one, with a small penis. So even tho he is circumcised, his penis is hidden inside him and his chub. And his penis, if not cleaned daily, gets covered in "gunk". Gross I know, but I cant help to think about what is under forskin that never gets cleaned. And then having sex with that. Ewww! So again...Does it bother me that we circumcised? Yes, sometimes. But it is a decision that we can't go back on. And who knows, maybe that research about STDs and cervical cancer is valid, and we are doing our sons and their future partners a favor. ;)

Melinda - posted on 06/18/2010

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my son is not circumsized and i am very happy we made the descsion not too

Sammie - posted on 06/18/2010

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Theres a huge difference between piercing ears and removing body parts.
The earlobe is not removed when pierced, and the earlobe is not a functioning body part, it really has no function. And if the person no longer wants a piercing, they can remove the earring and most times the hole will close.

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I feel we as society are so pro women's choices for their bodies and everyone seems to be posting that it is a personal decision...for who? For the boy. I have told my son that if someday he wants part of his penis cut off, it is his decision and I will pay for it then. This is not something you can ever undo- I really like the argument that parents want their sons to look like their fathers...so will my daughter get a breast job so she looks like me someday? I think not. How is this really any different that genital mutilation practiced in some countries?

Sarah - posted on 06/18/2010

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Yes, ma'am, my ears are pierced. Four times each. As well as my tongue, nipples, navel, upper and lower lips. And I haven't even touched on my numerous tattoos.

Thing is, they were all done to my body only after I made the decision to do them. Perhaps it is mutilation.. But at least it's self-mutilation.

Suzanne - I have to think that so many of the pro-circers who know people who have had terrible complications are probably from the United States which is pretty much the only civilised country who still routinely circumcises infants. We are (unfortunately) a country raised by men who are circumcised and women who circumcised their sons and so many people (doctors and nurses included!) have no idea how to care for an intact penis. They give bad information (like you have to retract the foreskin and clean underneath it) and then their first solution when something goes wrong (UTI, phimosis, balanitis, etc) is to just hack off the foreskin to treat and prevent what would've been prevented had they not forcibly retracted in the first place.

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In the past it was done for religious reasons and because hygiene wasn't as possible as it is today, we're not sharing the same tubs to bathe, we're showering every day or every other day. In todays' society, its done just because you choose to not a necessity as it use to be.

Lisa - posted on 06/18/2010

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It's interesting that some people say you should watch a video about how they do it or how they share these awful horror stories of the pain newborns go through, but then some of the people on this thread have said they were with their sons when it was done & their babies were fine. My son was circumcised. I left the decision up to my husband (who is circ) & he swears he doesn't remember a thing about his own circumcision nor does he hate his parents for "mutilating" his body. In fact, he thanks them! We were not in the room when my son was circumcised but we WERE with him at age 2 months when he had an unrelated surgery on his penis & scrotum. He whimpered slightly when the numbing shot went in and then he was completely fine during the entire procedure. They held a dum-dum sucker over his mouth and he sucked on that happily. I do not regret my decision & certainly don't consider my son deformed or mutilated! How many of you women have pierced ears? Do you consider yourself mutilated?

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Laura, we are NOT attacking each other. We are giving our opinions. We are allowed to do that, aren't we?

Suzanne - posted on 06/18/2010

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In Ireland it's almost unheard of to circumcise baby boys and I have never met or heard of anyone who's had issues from being left intact so I'm very surprised that so many pro-circers know 'loads' of people who've suffered complications from not having it done.
I absolutely hate the 'to match his dad' argument for it...would you get your breast implants when she reaches puberty if her breasts don't end up the same size as yours just so she 'matches' mummy??

It's an unnecessary procedure, having it done because he 'might' have issues with it later on is a bit ridiculous, would you also have his tonsils and appendix removed in case he has problems with them too?

Amanda - posted on 06/18/2010

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I wasn't gonna jump in but I have 2 brothers, 3 nephews and 4 male cousins that I know of that were not circumcised. None of which have had problems keeping themselves clean or had infections. I did not circumcise my 9 week old son because after working in a hospital and seeing babies after this procedure I do believe it is a horrible thing to do to a baby. How many of you pro people have seen a baby who's entire little body strains to get of out the restraints they use, turned red from head to toe, gasped for air because they are in this horrible and unexpected pain? I am glad for those who's babies did well but after seeing the above scene I wasn't willing to unknowingly bet he would sleep through it. It is in fact a medically unnecessary procedure.

Sarah - posted on 06/18/2010

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Laura ~ I would rather my son be upset with me for not circumcising and letting him choose whether or not to do it later in life than have him upset at me for doing something to him that cannot be undone.

But, just as you are so sure that your son will thank and thank you to no end for circumcising him, I am sure that my son will be happy that I left him intact, put faith in him that he will understand the basics of hygiene, and respect his decision to choose whether he wants to mutilate his body or not.

Jessie - posted on 06/18/2010

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Don't ever feel bad about a decision you've made about your child especially when it's only because someone attacked you over. It's none of their business. My husband and I were sitting in the Target parking lot and he had his window down smoking a ciggaret and our daughter was in the back seat and a woman had the audacity to say, "Are you really going to sit there and smoke with that baby in the car!?". And I thought, who the hell was she to say that to us? She didn't know that he never smokes around her anyother time unless its outside and he NEVER smokes in the house.

Merry - posted on 06/18/2010

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yes briana, i hate the argument "match the dad" like really id hope my son isnt comparing his penis to anyones! lol and if he were to compare when he is little, i dont think the foreskin would be a big difference, probably the hair would be the obvious difference!!

I feel bad for that boy, yes that is one of many stories i hear of similar feelings in young boys and men. but regret goes both ways and you can never say it is "his decision".

Briana - posted on 06/18/2010

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Oh I want to add that the one thing that does upset me is people NOT doing their research before deciding on this, whether they have it done or not. Don't make a decision for your child based on what society thinks a male penis should/shouldn't look like. That is where my problem lies with circumcision.

Briana - posted on 06/18/2010

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Either way you make a parenting decision for your son. You either choose to do it, or you choose not to. I had to babysit a young boy who got circ when he was 8. He told me in confidence that he was so upset that his parents didn't do it when he was born and left it up to him to decide when he was older because of the pain he had to endure. Now, I'm not saying that every uncirc boy will feel that way. But this little boy did. And it was awful the pain he went through. I'm sure if he had known how painful it would have been he wouldn't have asked to have it done.

There are risks to both ends of this. And as a parent, you have to weigh the pros and cons and decide. And no one ever has a right to tell you that you are right or wrong for doing either. Of course, I'm just an open minded person as well. I understand that we all have to make tough decisions for our kids as parents.

Marcy - posted on 06/18/2010

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I believe it's a personal decision. I think that of most all aspects of motherhood/parenthood. Everyone likes to give an opinion about how they have made the best and most educated choice. With the more personal stuff like circumcision and nursing, I tend to be cautious what I share with whom. Sometimes, I wouldn't mind engaging in a more heated dialogue and sometimes, I'd just rather steer clear of the discussion all together. It's tricky. Trust yourself. Your son (like many MANY other males) is going to be just fine!

Stacey - posted on 06/18/2010

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I agree it's a personal decision as well and don't think it's right that anybody made you feel bad about it one way or the other. I don't regret having my son's done..however they did go ahead and do it at release from the NICU when he should have been bigger. It had to be redone when he was 3. It was like an in between job and had to be fixed. It was an easy surgery but he does remember the before and after.

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