[deleted account] ( 103 moms have responded )
Hi All,
I want to kinow what people think about extended breastfeeding. I breastfed my first child for 17 months and he self-weaned. I am currently breastfeeding my second child, but she is 31 months and shows no sign of wanting to wean herself off the breast. She doesn't feed all day, usually at night and before naps. She is not a clingy child and can be left with others including a regular 2-hour nursery session once a week. She is self-confident and a happy child, but when it comes to sleep, she still wants her mother. I don't really mind, but I feel a bit uneasy, I guess wondering when it will end and whether it is okay to breastfeed a three-year old. My husband and my parents don't understand and wonder when I will get her to stop. It would be eaiser if my husband were around but he unfortunately has to work away most nights. I was away one night recently for an emergency and she did sleep for him, even though she did wake through the night. We tried it again the weekend later with me in another room, but she knew I was in the house and she cried her eyes out until I gave in. Is it alright to keep feeding her despite the approach of her third birthday? Will she just stop on her own once she starts pre-school in September (1/2 days, 5 days a week)? Or should I be more insistant on stopping her from feeding? I don't know what to do.
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Angela - posted on 03/27/2011
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Nicole, Your doctor was wrong on this one. It was already mentioned that at a year your baby needs food in addition to breastmilk but the breastmilk is still extremely beneficial to your baby and you for that matter. Breastmilk is constantly changing to meet the needs of your growing child and when your child is a toddler the immuno -protective properties actually increase. You could think of it as if it were slowly reverting to colostrum which is what your baby needs now that she is out and about exploring the world.
It sounds like you were having a hard time getting your child to eat and I wonder if something else was going on. A friend of mine had a similar situation where her child refused food for a long time and was actually malnurished. It turned out she had gluten allergies and may have some additional challenges with digesting certain foods. My friend was able to increase her ability to digest food by changing her diet and supplementing her with vitamins and minerals. None of this was a problem with the breastfeeding though. If you think about it, most doctors recommend toddlers drinking a cup of cows milk a day for nutritional reasons. Why would the cows milk be better for a human baby than human milk?
This is an excerpt from a study referenced on Kellymom
In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
29% of energy requirements
43% of protein requirements
36% of calcium requirements
75% of vitamin A requirements
76% of folate requirements
94% of vitamin B12 requirements
60% of vitamin C requirements
-- Dewey 2001
You can read the full article here
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/eb...
Claire - posted on 03/24/2011
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I think if you continue to bf her to sleep, she's going to be ok. No one bfs at college, haha! Don't worry. She will eventually wean when the time is right for her. Just because she is turning three and people around you are misinformed and unaccepting doesn't mean you should stop or feel bad.
Aleks - posted on 03/27/2011
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Nicole, I second what Angela said. My baby was also very little and not keen on "solid" food for a long time. Was what you would call a very picky eater and a little eater, infact her pediatritian posted that horrible little label in her baby health book: "Failure to Thrive"!!!!!!! (from 6mths of age she dropped from the 17th percentile in her weight to may be the 1stpercentile) But she was very much wanting to nurse a lot. Everybody, including GPs and her pediatritian (along with her recommended dietician) said that she isn't hungry and hence doesn't eat cos she is nursing too much and to cut down on nursing. That should increase her solids intake and get her to grow and "put some of that weight on her". THEY WERE SOOOOOO WRONG. She was nursing so much because she was having digestive problems and tummy aches and silent reflux. All because we didn't know she was soy intollerant (which we were using because of her dairy intollerance) and then later still suspected yeast intollerance. Once soy was eliminated her eating improved and so did her weight. Her frequent demands for nursing also subsided. Later when we also eliminated yeast things have got even better with her eating!!! She now eats 3 solid meals a day (and sometimes even a snack in there too) where during that horrible period from around 1 year of age we were lucky if she ate 1 solid meal in a day.
I am sooooooooooo glad I did not eliminate the nursing sessions!!! It was the only nutrient rich foods she could eat at the time! It was all instinct for her. Which at the time we adults did not understand! This was all happening between 1yr until around 2yrs of age. A whole year of dietary and food stress at our house! I still happily nurse her pretty much on demand (within reason...lol) as she still does not get neither soy nor dairy milk (thought we use almond/rice/oat milk for her cereal in the mornings or chocolate milk which she loves - cos she gets to eat like her big brother, but these do not have any of the required fats for growing her a healthy body and brain).
Actually what made me feel ok in nursing so much was the Kellymom.com site and its information which Angela posted :-) It was heaven sent, as nearly everybody was telling me to wean (friends, family and doctors/health professionals). Shows you how little they can know. :-)
[deleted account]
I apologise for offending Lyanda with my previous post, I did not intend to attack her in my comment. I have since edited it to reflect that.
I feel that it is unfortunate that "some mothers" would think the only reason a mother would extend BFing for a child is for the mothers own need. Since I don't know about any other mothers here, but have you ever tried to get your child to BF when they didn't want to? I know with Aurora, she is VERY clear with her head turning away when she is done. So I don't see how you could even bf for yourself if your child wasn't still wanting to.
IMO and based on things I have read based on factual evidence, extended bfing is a good thing, one of the many reason, directly relating to the child is because children don't have a fully developed immune system until they are around 6-7 years old (around the same time the milk teeth start falling out usually) and continuing to bf through those years is so important to help their little bodies stay up to snuff, so to speak, since your milk contains all kinds of antibiotic properties and immunities.
It is unfortunate that a lot of generally well meaning mothers/healtcare providers/people are so unsupportive of mother's who choose to bf well past their children being 18 months, 2yrs and beyond. There is so much information out there indicating why it is so important. Instead of following social stygma with extended bfing and discouraging these moms, they should be encouraging them and letting them know that they are doing a good thing, regardless of what the well meaning individuals own feelings are about it, It seems to not be the case, in certain areas as Lyanda pointed out with regards to the home visits.
In response to the comment about poor countries children only getting nutrients through their mother's BM. BM is not made by magic, the mother still needs to be able to eat food to make the milk. So from the nutrition being better/worse so you should or should not extend breastfeeding simply because you have more or less food, is really a moot point.
After spending 9 months (give or take) growing this precious little person inside you, I would think a mom would want to give them the BEST chance of survival, not just the least they can possibly do for them before kicking them out of the "BF" nest so to speak. Afterall, it is our Choice to bring these children into the world, not theirs, so if they want to BF then they should be allowed to, for however long they want to.
Just food for thought and totally MY opinion.
Celeste - posted on 03/22/2011
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As a mother who is nursing her 4 year old, and his twin brother weaned at 3 1/2, do what you feel comfortable with. If you are OK with continuing to nurse her, then continue! The World Health Organization and UNICEF recommend "2 *OR* beyond".