feeling trapped! need advice please!!

Charlotte - posted on 11/03/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hello! i'm bf my nine month old and loving it! i plan to continue breastfeeding for aslong as she likes but i think i'm after some encouragement and advice! at nights and for naps the only way i can get her to sleep is through nursing or by taking her out for a walk. in the day this doesnt bother me at all and i'll happily nurse her to sleep for every nap, its just at night i'm starting to feel quite trapped and almost suffocated and i feel like such a bad mum for feeling that way! Its not that i want to go out and leave her, just i would like her to be able to go to sleep on her own... we co sleep when she wakes for her first feed but i can't go to bed with her at 6 30 and i think or is this asking too much? an early bedtime is important so thats why i put in her the cot. i don't believe in CIO at all, so does any one have any tips or advice? or shall i just continue nursing her sleep? if i know other mums have done this and their children have eventually gone to sleep without nursing i'll carry on happily! help!! also, she used to have a dummy but spat that out around six months and now wont have it! once shes fast asleep i can put her in cot but if i puut her in there awake or even drowsy she screams and gets so upset.

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Ania - posted on 11/03/2010

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and btw it is ridiculous when people say that she won't be able to sleep on her own. most of them don't even breastfeed so how do they know?

Ania - posted on 11/03/2010

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that was my problem too and I started to putting my son to bed at night awake and every time he got up in the crib I would put him down again, first few nights he was crying but it worked. Of course gradually. So first 10 days it took me 45-1 of ptting him back down but after a week or so he stopped crying. I was jst there ptting him flat whenever he got up in his crib and it was many times believe me. Yo jst have to be patient.... then it took arond 30 min now is more like 20 depending on the night and he sddenly started sleeping longer stretches at night after around 2 weeks he slept all night 12 hours!!!! then next night he woke p once after 8h and after nursing went back to sleep, now he wakes up around 2 times but it is amazing for me. Tonight my husband was putting him to bed and it took 10 min for him to fall asleep. It took a while and there was no progress at first but I stuck with this method and I see results, so good luck and a lot of patience

Carolyn - posted on 11/03/2010

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Hi Charlotte !

the Book The Baby Whisperer Solves All your Problems has been and amazing resource for me.

The author does not beleive in crying it out either and has some great techniques on how to get your little one to sleep and break habits. among a million other things. if you google it you can even find a link to read it online.

she basically goes over just about anything you might have an issue with in the first 3 years.

I grabbed her book at 6 weeks post partum and I am blessed with a baby who slept through the night early, now falls asleep on his own, and is the happiest little monster ever !

the key is consistency, patiences and persistence !!! like establishing any new routine, you gotta be consistent and they eventually get it !

Charlotte - posted on 11/03/2010

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hi, thank you for you reply! the thing is, it does work! i'm lucky enough to not work so i'm always here in the evenings to do it. it's just i feel like ill be doing it forever, which i know is silly! what is your night time routine? i find it hard making one because at nine months she's not really interested in books yet and she loves having a bath but when i take her out and get her ready for bed she starts to cry. she very rarely cries and i avoid doing thigns that i know will make her, i.e, bath her in the morning. i'm jsut fed up of people telling me she'll never be able to go to sleep if i continue to nurse her! but hearing that it works for other people makes me feel better because i know im not the only one in the world doing it! all my friends formula feed their children and let them CIO which is the total opposite to me!

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My daughter is the same way. We've always nursed to sleep because that works for us. If it doesn't work for you then you can try other things. Can dad do the night time routine? Maybe after you nurse you could hand her over to dad and he could rock her to sleep. She will outgrow the need to nurse to sleep.

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