Help I HATE breast feeding!

Carly - posted on 02/20/2012 ( 31 moms have responded )

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Okay so this is going to be long, but I need some support and advice!! So we had a rocky start, he wouldn't latch at all, I could never get him to eat and it gave me awful anxiety! I got mastitis twice in the second week of breastfeeding, which made my supply get really low, so i had a hungry cranky baby all the time and i had to supplement with formula. my nipples were constantly cracked and sore and scabbed. We figured out he was tongue tied, so we got it clipped, not only did I cry like a baby (there was blood everywhere!) it cost 250 dollars for a two second procedure! His his latch never really improved, he can only get enough out to keep him satisfied for maybe an hour, so no sleep for me. AND he gets too much foremilk which makes him miserable and gassy. When I give him bottles he's so much happier! Breast feeding has given me awful anxiety. I've never been so stressed out about something in my life! I can't go anywhere because he eats so often, I'll spend an hour hiding off in a room feeding him.. And then he wants to eat again just a little later! I now have an overactive letdown on one side and not enough milk on the other, I don't even need to go into detail about how hard that is. I'm miserable ): but I want to do the best thing for him!

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User - posted on 03/02/2012

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Girl, please stop stressing and pump! Breast milk is very beneficial, but your baby will also be fine with formula. You sound like me with my first son. I beat myself up so bad and went through depression because he wouldn't latch! Now Im going through the same thing with my second boy and this time around I am not stressing and just pumping to avoid the engorging and keep my flow up. I just use a simple medela hand pump and that way he still gets breast milk and I supplement wtih formula. Please dont' stress and make sure you take care of yourself and make sure you are healthy. He needs you so you can't be stressed and worried with painful breasts and mastisis! Get some lanolin for the nipples a hot compress for your breasts or a nice hot bath and relax!

31 Comments

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Sonya - posted on 04/08/2012

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Have you considered pumping and storing your breast milk in the freezer? Just pump when he should be feeding which sounds like you could do it every 2 1/2 or 3 hours instead of feeding him every hour. Advent makes a good hand pump and it's small enough to take out. and gentle. I got a cheap motorized one from first years and it was super loud and painful. Also you can rent Madela machine breast pump from pharmacies but it's kind of expensive.

http://breastfeedingdiet.blogsavy.com/av...



Maybe if you want to continue breastfeeding make a special relaxing room/space in your house. A good chair and pillow for support. 'Prime' your breasts by gently rubbing them and covering your nipple in milk. Try and get as much of your areola into your babies mouth and try wait for the big open mouth to put in your breast. Encourage your babies with coos and good boys and try to relax.When your'e done with one side squirt your breast and nipple with your milk and leave it. (that helps with the cracked nipples) Resist the urge to soap your breasts in the shower because that will dry them out terribly. Olive oil is okay for baby and has vitamin e in it. try putting a little of it on your nipples. Sweet almond oil, or Lanolin or Comfrey ointment also but I don't know if baby can ingest these..



Remember to switch between the one your start with. For now though do your under active one first then your over active one might chill out and won't be so engorged. Drink lots of water. Drink while you breast feed and keep a bottle for you by wherever you feed the baby.



I had a premie and he was in the the hospital for a week. I couldn't get him to latch and my supply wasn't enough for him. Also he was used to the bottle at the hospital and tended to reject me. At 3 months I ended up getting a fungal infection on one of my breasts and it was incredibly painful. I was intensely frustrated with my 'failure' went to a breastfeeding councillor and she snipped his tongue too. I don't think it was a big change. But we got a hold of it eventually. Routine is key and maybe listen to a song that's relaxing or distracting for you. Also depend on your son to let you know when he's ready to finish. I got to 8 months before I quit and that was because he grew teeth and bit me more than once enough to draw blood lol. You can do it though !!! I am having a second baby and looking forward to breast feeding this time from what I've learned with my son.

[deleted account]

I had cracked and sore nipples with my son for the first 3-4 weeks. There were even days where my let down hurt so badly I cried. I fought really hard through it. My son didn't latch well until about 6 weeks old. Now at 3 months he latches on line a pro. I have no pain at all. I'm extremely stubborn, once I have my mind set on something I do it.



With my mastitis I pumped from the infected breast to lessen the pain, then would latch my son on. I didn't even realize that it was mastitis until I got a fever after the pain went away.



But in the end if it is too much for you then formula is ok. Don't feel guilty.

Trish - posted on 04/06/2012

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If you really hate breastfeeding my advice would be to stop. Being stressed out isn't good for you or your baby or your milk supply! My first two children refused to latch on so I just pumped for as long as I could. My third latched on and fed beautifully and he's 3 months old now and I am considering stopping breastfeeding. I also hated it. It was painful, I got mastitis and I was the only one waking up at 2am and then had to take care of a 3 year old and 20 month old. You can choose to pump or just choose to stop altogether. One thing I had to learn was that just because you hate breastfeeding doesn't mean you are a bad mother. Do what you feel is right for you and don't stress over it.

User - posted on 03/30/2012

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If you are wanting the breast feed, you could always try to use a breast shield to help with his latching on. I had to use one with my first child and it was great. I didn't have the soreness and cracking. My daughter did great with the shield when she wouldn't latch on to just my breast.

With my second child, he acted like he was getting way to much milk when I fed him so I would pump with a double breast pump for about 5 minutes before each feeding and then he would eat just the amount that he wanted and stop. I would recommend pumping after each feeding too. I did this for the first 2 months and now I don't have to pump anymore. I just have enough for his feedings. Hope this helps.

Summer - posted on 03/30/2012

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I'm glad things are going a little better! It just takes time! Things will get better, hang in there! If you can do three months, do three months, if you can do six months, do six months, or six weeks, whatever. I have had many friends who struggled so hard in the beginning and hated it, but gave themselves a goal of reaching despite the problems, they would say, "I hate this but I can do it for three months" but by the time three months rolled around it was a total different story and they loved it. I know I did. Hang in there Mama! It will get better if you can get good support!!!!

[deleted account]

go to the website ilca.org and then click on find a lactation consultant in your zip code this will help you find someone to ask about how to continue breastfeeding if that is what you want or they can also help you slowly transition to pumping and bottle feeding (some moms choose to give their milk in a bottle and also at the breast --- make sure and ask for help and find someone that will help you find what works for you) I found this book helpful...



Balancing Breast and Bottle:Reaching Your Breastfeeding Goals ---- Title of Book

authors Amy Peterson, Mindy Harmer

Magaly - posted on 03/24/2012

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Don't feel guilty for formula feeding if that's what you choose to do. There's nothing wrong with formula and millions of us were formula fed and we are okay. Stressing about it isn't helping your milk production or let down. If you do want your baby to have breastmilk, then try pumping. In the end do what is best for you and your baby. Gerber Good Start Protect is a wonderful formula. It has antibodies and comfort proteins in it. My son never had digestion problems and has only gotten slightly sick twice, he is almost 3 years old. =D

Bex - posted on 03/11/2012

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defo find a support group near you, there must be one!



If it's causing you that much misery then I would say go with what makes you happy cuz that's ultimately what's gonna make baby happier too. But I'm also all for giving bf a good few goes. My first didn't feed for 2 days and I was all ready to give it up, but we went on for 17 months in the end. On the other hand, credit to you for going on through so many trials, and like i say if it leads to a happier mummy and baby then do what is right for you. try la leche league's website, they offer amazing advice, i think even tailored replies to any problems.



with the one boob letting down more, maybe try feeding more from that side for a few feeds - say 2 that side for every one the other? may help a bit. my baby is preferring the one side too at the mo but have to have faith the milk machines will sort it out!



also do you have a sling? I used one for mine and it made out and about feeds so much easier and less restricting. check out peanut shell webiste they are awesome, especially while they're so diddy.

anyway, good luck with what ever you decide to do and well done for all the good you've done so far :)

a lot would have given up on the first hurdle :)

Summer - posted on 03/11/2012

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My first son was exactly the same, premie, tongue-tied, low supply then too much supply. We pumped for a month and then when he had enough weight on him we went cold turkey back to the breast. It was all terribly difficult until he was 3 months old and then it was the most wonderful thing ever.



The best thing for me? A BFing support group. Gave me sanity and encouragement and a place to cry. I still talk to those girls every week three years later. Join one!!!

Courtney - posted on 03/05/2012

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I believe the best idea for you is to pump with an electric pump. There are places where you can rent high grade hospital pumps and it helps a lot. If you're getting no sleep, and don't want to pump, it may be best to give him formula because you would really want the time and energy to actually care for your baby. Once he realizes how much happier you are and the more quality time you get to spend with him, he will be happier too. A majority of people use formula, and it's so much easier on you and you won't have to worry about wondering if you're baby is getting enough to eat. If it's the best thing for you, it's the best thing for him. At least you breastfed for a while, most people don't even try it. So overall, you're a good mom no matter what. CHOOSE IS WHAT"S BEST FOR YOU :)

Gutierrez - posted on 03/05/2012

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I really struggled with my first son too. But I was bound and determinded to breast feed. I had to pump for the 6 weeks. It was so painful, I would cry everytime. I ended up with mastitis too, but it was a blessing in diguise, because it also identified another major problem I was having. It turns out that I also had a fungal infection on my nipples which made it incredibly painful to pump or breastfeed. The symptoms were red, scabby nipples that were extremely painful. It burned when I pumped. The doctor had me do a mixture of triple anitbiotic oitment, gynolotrimin, and hydrocortozone. It cleared up in a couple of days. My OB laughed at me when I told her of my struggles and told me that I had to be kidding myself if I thought my son would latch on after being bottle fed (breast milk) for 6 weeks. She told me I should just give up and stop tourturing myself. Well, I was determinded, and guess what... My son latched on. It was smooth sailing after that. Sorry for the long post. Any way, my advise is to keep at it and use the pump. If you pump and store milk, ask for people to help you with the feedings, so you can get some more sleep. The pump is the way to go. But keep giving the breast too. Babies tend to go through spurts of needing more or needing less. So after pumping for a while, it may be okay to revert back to the breast exclusively. I know BF isn't for everybody, but if you can do it, I firmly believe it the best. Good luck to you. Hang in there. Also, the purple lansinoh lanolin oitment helps alot too. You can put it on before you pump or BF and it helps.

Audra - posted on 03/04/2012

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Oh honey, if you're this miserable then don't feel guilty taking another path. I'm a breastfeeding mom, and I've noticed that some can go overboard. Feedings should also be a time for you and your baby to be together, and if you're stressed and in tears it won't be a positive experience. There are good alternatives out there and before you know it your baby will be onto puréed foods and getting plenty of nutrition that way. You're not a terrible mother---you may find you're doing what's best for your baby by transforming feedings into a happy, positive experience, and by being happier too.

Carrie - posted on 03/04/2012

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Try expressing milk before you fed him to get him past the foremilk. I had to do that with my daughter the first couple of days. It may feel like it takes forever to get past some of the watery part of your milk but it helps. As far as being miserable, get some nursing gel soother pads, they help a ton. Also put some HPA Lanolin on your nipples after every feeding. It helps your nipples heal up and keeps them from hurting. Sleep when the baby sleeps. I know it can be hard because I am in a similar situation. It seems like I never get any sleep. So that is why I have started pumping every once in awhile so daddy can feed baby so i can get some zzz's. Hope it gets better for you.

Katharyn - posted on 03/02/2012

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Well first tng first, do you want to fix these things and breastfeeding or do you want to quit? No one is forcing you to bf but if you want to do it for your baby then accept that it isn't going to be easy and fix what you can and live thru the rest. Bfing an infant is really tough but nursing an old baby is so convenenient.

Both of my boys were tongue tied, not only that but they both had insuffiecnt clips and had to have it done a second time so I was nursing a tied baby for two plus months (unbelievably painful). I've gone thru pretty much all the things you listed (and then some) most nursing mom's have. Right now I have a baseball sized clogged milk duct which is hurting like the dickens. Even with all that I wouldn't give up nursing my kids for anything, the pros way outweigh the cons.

La Leche league will answer your questions via email thru their site and can send you to a really good IBCLC (not all lc s are created equal and the hospital ones often don't help much). Whatever you spend fixing your nursing relationship will be peanuts compared to the price of formula so try not to focus on a couple hundred dollars for help or a quality pump. There'd are many ways to help your problems and if you want to breasted you CAN do it. How much do you want it?

Shauna - posted on 02/26/2012

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I think you have legitimate reasons to be very unhappy! I'm glad you are doing better. I know that I personally thought I could stand nursing by 2 weeks, felt in the groove by 3 months not minding it, and I think I really started to enjoy nursing around 6 months. So if you choose to stick with it, your feelings may definitely change, and don't feel bad about how you feel. They're valid feelings!

Carly - posted on 02/26/2012

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This past week has been going very smoothly! I got the overactive letdown on my right side under control and my left side has been making more and I've been using a nipple shield. So hopefully things continue to go well!!

Meaghan - posted on 02/26/2012

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I had a rough start nursing my preemie. I hated it in the beginning. It took a while, but we did work it out. One day I realized it had become easy. In my case, I was glad that we stuck with it but it did take a lot of work.

Definitely reach out for help. If what you are doing isn't working, try something different. Anyone who tells you that pain is normal is wrong. Don't be afraid to reach out to talk to multiple LCs or LLL leaders.

Give your breasts time to heal and talk to an expert to find out how to go forward. Good luck!

Heather - posted on 02/26/2012

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Buy some Lanolin cream for your nipples, sold in a purple tube at Target. You can put it on inbetween nursing and it WILL help your nipples. It might take a day or two, but it will help. Your nipples will be sore and cracked in the beginning. It sucks, I know, but you CAN do this. Try to pump out or hand express, some of the fore milk. Either save it, or throw it out. I used to have to hand express it into a burp cloth or tissue and then let my son latch because he had BAD gas if I didn't. Also, with the let down, pump it! Save it! And freeze it! So you will have some breastmilk frozen for the future!



The other side with little milk, have your son nurse on it first, then have him nurse on the other side after. Always offer him both sides when he nurses on one side and acts like he is done, tickle his feet, try to wake him up, and have him nurse on the other side. Keep him nursing on the side that isn't producing much. Don't stop nursing him on it, as your supply in that breast should pick up after a few days to a week if you keep letting him nurse on it.



I have always had one breast produce more than the other one. With our son, it was my right breast. With my daughter, it was my left.



Pumping isn't always good and doesn't always work for everyone. But I would be pumping off some foremilk, if you can, or squeezing it out, and I would also be pumping some on the breast that has a heavy letdown, say an oz. or two at least at a time when it acts or feels like it's going to explode.

HANNAH - posted on 02/24/2012

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I had a terribe time breastfeeding to so i pump every three hours and hes still getting all that ymmy good stuff and hes much happier

Simone - posted on 02/22/2012

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I have been there with our first child. I had mestitis and so much pain! My nippels were bleeding and it hurt to feed the baby. But I stuck with it and things got better with time. It helped me to pump. After the first two months it started to be more enjoyable and We had wonderful experience after we made it trough the beginning. I ended up breastfeeding her until she was 18 months. For number 2, we figured it out much more quickly and he was a good eater! The most important thing, which I had learned from the first time is that formular threw off my milk production. I am also into attachment parenting and co-sleeping, which makes frequent feedings easier. It is so nice to have the baby sleeping right next to you. Now our third child is 6 months old and she reminded me of our first one, it hurt to feed her and she seemed to suck really hard. So I used nipple shields for a little while. But you need to be careful to use them only, when you really need them. The laletcheleague http://www.llli.org/ has some great resources too. I also read the mothering magazine http://mothering.com/breastfeeding/chall... . Remember you are doing something great for your baby and it will be a good experience after all. Don't give up! It will be worth it! :)

Ania - posted on 02/21/2012

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Well....Eating every hour, not being able to go out, trouble latching and other issues are experienced by a lot of women. I was one of them. And i was miserable too. It is not easy having a newborn that is exclusively BF. I never gave in to bottles, so I was miserable for at least 4 months, but really for 6 because I thought that my BF baby suffers from sleep issues, because every book told me that he is not suppose to wake up at night every2-3 hours at 6 months and again that is also a normal behavior for bf baby. I was totally sleep deprived and somewhat depressed for the first year of life of my exclusively BF baby, but you know what? I was persistent, that is just my personality. Knowing and reading every scientific article on breastfeeding benefits was helping me. I knew this will not last forever I have to bite my tongue stop crying and complaining, because it will be over. I understand why so many women give up breastfeeding, because it is HARD!!!! I ended up breastfeeding my son for 2 years and now my daughter is coming in 3 months and I'm dreading those first 6 months....maybe a year I'm ready for the worst, but I will do it again, because I know this is the best I can do for them. I'm ready that I will not have a life for a year (the most) and then everything will be better, what I give them in nutrition will be priceless and I will be produ of myself, give myself a medal and will still have time to be happy later, when my kid will not need me constantly. You can do whatever feels good to you. Just read every possible information on BF check out facebook for kellymom she posts great articles and if you find yourself at the difficult moment read it. If you don't want to do it anymore, then don't No one is pressuring you to do anything Every woman is diferent as much as I understood that I need to become an attachment parent to my child, you may not agree with it for yourself and it is fine too. Just remember that having a baby and breast feed that baby is a major sacrifice...

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I was overproducing by the time my daughter was 3 months old and feeding her was an absolute nightmare! I agree with Celeste, try blockfeeding for a while and see if this changes things for you. I kind of had to blockfeed to the extrem (it was THAT bad) for a few weeks but after that nursing was blissfully easy.



Also, personnally I never really had a problem nursing in public when my daughter was an infant, but I do appreciate that others might find this difficult. I'd still say give it a go once or twice though. Maybe you'll surprise yourself and find it easier than you thought. It sure would help you with being out and about.



Whatever you decide in the end, I'm sure you are making the best decision for your little family.

Wishing you all the best!

Emmy - posted on 02/20/2012

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I agree with the previous post. We have used a advent shield since the start and shr is 8 months now. Without the shield I would have given up a long time ago due to the pain I got from a bad latch and getting cracked nipples all the time

Alyssa - posted on 02/20/2012

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Have you tried using nipple shields?? Medela makes one you can wear right on the nipple while feeding. it helps the baby get a better latch, as well as prevents sore nipples. I was using them up until a week ago because of my son's poor latch, and after I finally got my son to feed without them, I started having similar problems to the ones you're experiencing-I actually just posted a question about it. Maybe the shields will help your situation.

Adrianne - posted on 02/20/2012

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I feel your pain! My son was born tongue-tied and couldn't latch until we got his tongue fixed. Unfortunately by then I was too raw to nurse. I pumped exclusively for about a month, including every time my son ate, and eventually we were are to resume breastfeeding. I am not going to lie, it was very hard and painful but it worked and my son is thriving now. He is almost 7 months and he is still nursing. I strongly recommend pumping and relax -whatever you decide will be the best thing for your family!

Celeste - posted on 02/20/2012

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Holy cow, you've been through a lot! It's totally up to you. But, pumping may not make things easier. A couple things that you need to be aware of.. Average output is 1/2 to 2 oz and it's also normal for output to decrease after awhile. You'll need to pump at least every 2- 3 hours including night. It's very challenging, but it can be done.



I would encourage you to work on the overactive letdown. You can do this by block feeding.

http://kellymom.com/bf/supply/fast-letdo...



It is normal for babies to nurse often but I think if you get a handle on the OALD, things will get better.



But, if you feel that pumping is your best option, then do what you need to do for your family.

Brooke - posted on 02/20/2012

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I had much concern when i was going back to work about being able to keep up the supply. But I soon learned that the more you pump, the more you make. I would pump every 2 1/2 hours. I have read that double pumping increases your milk supply. Also, in the beginning, if your child sleeps through the night, I would still get up and pump just to help you get a supply to store in the freezer for emergencies. Some people do not agree with making your child wait to eat at the scheduled time, but if its only 30 minutes or less I make mine wait. He usually gets preoccupied enough that he can wait. Keeping him on this schedulewill help him with sleeping too. He will go through growth spurts, but your body will keep up with supply and demand. I dont know how, but it just knows. Dont get discouraged. I promise it gets easier. And in no time, you'll be sleeping through the night and have a full, happy baby.

Carly - posted on 02/20/2012

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I think pumping and bottle feeding is what I'll do. Any advice on that? I have a medela pump in style.

Brooke - posted on 02/20/2012

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Sounds to me like the best thing may be for you to just pump and feed, if you are set on him getting breastmilk. And its perfedtly ok to do this. I work so mine gets bottles all day, and my milk supply is doing fine. This way baby gets the breastmilk and you can get some stress relief. Invest in a really good pump and all will work out.

Hannah - posted on 02/20/2012

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if he is feeding that often it might be more efficient for you to pump. my daughter fed frequently like that for the first two months then started sleeping 5 and 6 hours straight. i feed on one breast per feeding that way she gets more hind milk. hope that helps

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