How can I maintain a nursing relationship through a divorce?

Jessica - posted on 10/16/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 16 months old, and even though she is on solid foods, she still nurses at least 5 times a day (mostly in the evening, as I do work during the day). She is dairy sensitive and possibly lactose intolerant, she can not handle cows milk at all, she does drink almond milk.

My husband has asked me for a divorce. Long story. Anyways, he feels that I should just stop nursing my child before the divorce is final. I would prefer to continue nursing her, as it is beneficial to her, and she has shown no signs of wanting to stop nursing, besides the fact that she can't handle cow's milk.

Is there any way that I can maintain our nursing relationship through this? My soon to be ex is petitioning for joint custody. He is hoping for a 50/50 split with the kids at his home every other week.

Thanks for the help.

4 Comments

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Jessyka - posted on 10/17/2010

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If she is showing no signs of wanting to wean, and her entire world is about to come undone by mom and dad not living together, the last thing he should want is for her to stop nursing. Nursing is not just about nutrition, even though the WHO states babies should be nursed at least until age 2. It is also about comfort. How selfish.

Do you have a lawyer? I would have the lawyer prepare as much documentation as possible about the benefits of BF-ing and the problems that can arise when a baby is weaned before he/she is ready. Give this information, as well as info from the WHO to the judge. I would prepare to compromise, though -- tell the judge that you are willing to pump so that your soon-to-be-ex has access to your milk while she would be with him. Also, you could try to night wean if she is not already sleeping through. Hopefully you will get a judge who is reasonable and will give your husband joint custody but not 50-50 until she is older and less dependant on you.

Good luck to you.

Jessie - posted on 10/16/2010

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You shouldn't do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. and it is in no way his choice whether you nurse or not. just saying.

Jessica - posted on 10/16/2010

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She is not my only child. We also have a 5 year old girl. I'm guessing on the number of times she nurses as five. Thinking on her normal schedule: she nurses once when we first get home, then cluster nurses before bed (two maybe three times) and once in the middle of the night. Then once in the morning when she wakes up before we part for work and daycare. She also eats dinner with us during that time frame too, so the cluster nursing may be less times if she's more full on solids.

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I am sorry bout your story Jessica. Is she your only child?! Anyways, You have to do what is right for your baby at this time, if nursing is what it takes then your soon to be ex has to deal with that. Do you really have to nurse her five times a day during the evening hours?! Sounds like perhaps you could wean her into perhaps 2-3 times in the evening?! Good luck to you and your baby.

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