How do you deal with the jokes?

April - posted on 11/27/2009 ( 98 moms have responded )

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my family keeps making fun of me for nursing my son, who is not even 1 years old yet. my dad said, "are you gonna nurse him until he's 5?" and my mom said, "he only likes to nurse at night, isn't that weaning?" i do not appreciate the sarcasm, it is very hurtful and unsupportive. I would like to know how you guys deal with the jokes? what do you tell people? i am especially interested in any kind of research i can use to defend myself with. I told my family i am planning to nurse my son until he is at least TWO.

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Carlyn - posted on 11/29/2009

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I had to deal with the same thing -- lots of sort of snide comments about weaning, breastfeeding, and my daughter's age from my family. After she turned 7 months and started taking baby food, it is as if they expected me to cut her off cold turkey. Here are some of the responses I used:
"The AAP strongly suggests breastfeeding until at least one year of age."
"I don't want to buy formula. Have you seen how much that stuff costs?"
"I'm too lazy to bottle feed. You want to wake up at 2 am each night and give her a bottle? Be my guest."
"The WHO suggests breastfeeding until at least age 2."
"Studies show that the time spend breastfeeding directly correlates to child IQ. I just want her to be smart. Don't you?"
"Studies show that breastfeeding reduces the incidence of breast cancer. Isn't that great?"
"She's a picky eater. At least if she is breastfeeding I know she is getting all the vitamins she needs."
"Why do you care?"
"You know how much I love chocolate. This breastfeeding burns off the calories better than an hour at the gym."
"If it bothers you, we just won't visit until she weans. That might be a few years." (Works very well with great-grandparents.)
"I'll take that under consideration."
"You spoil her with toys, I spoil her with breastmilk. Is there really a difference?"

You get the idea...lots of facts about breastfeeding, mixed with a little indifference about their opinion. I will freely admit that it still hurts, although I try not to let it show. Good luck and hold strong! You are doing what is best for your child.

Valerie - posted on 11/28/2009

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What to Expect the First Year (the follow up book to What to Expect While You're Expecting) by Eisenburg, Murkoff, and Hathaway cites 20 "Facts Favoring Breastfeeding" (p.3-5) including "better health for baby" which I completely agree with. My son is 8mos. now. I started weaning him at 6 months. While he was exclusively nursed he only got sick once. Since being weaned this is the third time he's had a runny nose. The Baby Book (by Dr. William Sears and assoc.) also reinforces breastfeeding as best for baby in Ch. 8-9 (p 115-199) and states that inconsiderate statements like the ones you've received show "a lack of appreciation of a toddler as a little person with big needs. Both experience and research have shown that extended breastfeeding does not foster dependency. The opposite is true...babies not weaned before their time eventually grow to be more independent ... move into new relationships with more security and stability, and are, in fact, easier to discipline." (p.195). Caring for Your Baby and Young Child- Birth to Age 5 is literally from The American Academy of Pediatrics and strongly "advocates breastfeeding as the optimal form of infant feeding" (p.11) Ch. 4 is on Breastfeeding. "The World Health Organization (WHO) and many experts encourage women to breastfeed as long as possible, one year or even longer, because breastmilk provides optimal nutrition and protection against infections." (p.72) It recommends other books on breastfeeding and talking to the active La Leche League in your community. There should be one nearby (your pediatrician should be able to give you info- they're national and all about assisting and encouraging nursing mothers- in every language! : ) Hang in there! You're doing good! (All of these books can usually be found at Half Price Bookstore- pretty cheap.) Be proud of doing what's best for your child and don't let anybody make you feel bad for doing something good. I prayed for guidance to make my decision to nurse and tried to continue as long as I safely could. Hang in there! You're doing good! : )

Marcie - posted on 11/28/2009

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I didn't actually have jokes - although my husband bothered me about feeding my 2nd child until he was almost 4 (it was only at night @ that time & I did have to finally cut him off - not easy- as I thought he wouldstop by himself but he did have any interest) - I can tell you both of my boys have been hardly ever sick even going into daycare + now school I have an 8 yr old now & a 5 yr old - they are pretty much only to the Dr for well visit 1X per year - so I don't believe that after 1 yr old there's no benefit for breastfeeding - as one of my Dr.'s told me - it's truely amazing how few times they are sick even til today. I did fire back at my husband when he bothered me after my little guy was 2 - how mong was I going to feeding him - it's hard to stop when it's so comforting for both you & the child. I really enjoyed my experiences & I still reap th4 benefits as the kids are almost never sick! I know several people who nursed until 2 or 2.5yrs old. If I were you I would tell your family how they make you feel & that there are many benefits to nursing after just 1 yr.old! Try not to let it get you down your doing a great thing for that baby!

Lucy - posted on 11/28/2009

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The world health organisation recommend nursing until atleast 2.

Becky - posted on 11/27/2009

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I would say just ignore them and make sure you have a group that supports breastfeeding to boost your confidence. A lot of the older generation doesn't seem to be as comfortable with the idea of breastfeeding, especially for "extended" periods since it wasn't something they did. The American Academy of Pediatrics does strongly recommend that you breastfeed for a minimum of 1 year...so that will get you to a year. Not that you need excuses or reasons more than that you want to, I am also telling people that think it's odd that with the swine flu this year and it being RSV season and all that I want to provide my baby with all the immunities that I can (since EBM has antibodies, antivirals, and antifungals in it).

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Bonnie Jeanne - posted on 06/05/2013

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Is your partner/husband in the picture? He needs to back you up when you announce to family......."My pediatrician has recommended I breastfeed until the baby wants to stop". Don't leave room for more discussion (sure, it's uncomfortable for a moment.....but your strength as a mother will gather much respect and momentum from this).
I have taught moms-to-be to use this statement in prenatal classes and La Leche League for 20 years and it works. My colleagues and I developed this strategy from our own bad moments with breastfeeding our children. We knew what new parents were up against. If this statement is delivered with a finality to it...(practice at home, out loud) and has the reinforcement of the baby's dad if he's on the scene...it leaves little room for other comments. You are fine, your child matters more than anyone else on the planet. It will not change but grow even more. You are okay to be the mama lion for your baby. Happy Days.

Patrice - posted on 12/22/2009

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When it comes to breastfeeding, I am no joke. I've heard: "So you can't drink? Well that sucks." "She just doing that to keep them to herself." I like what my mom say when she's holding my baby as I walk by; "Look Lori, food source." Breastfeeding helps that bond and builds confidence because it's one thing to sacrafice your body for someone eles for nine months, but plus to feed the child the best natural possible? I eat healthy for her and I feel great.

Sara - posted on 12/08/2009

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When it comes to parents, they come from a different time. Surround yourself with people are supportive. As far as dad... men just have a hard time with the breastfeeding thing to begin with. Even though I would cover up my dad would leave the room, when I would BF the babies at 1 week old! lol My mom, in attempts to be supportive would add her 2 cents and it would just come out wrong. If they are trying to be hurtful... it's time to level with them.

Megan - posted on 12/08/2009

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Just ignore everyone...you are doing what is BEST for your baby....besides you are saving money too. If the comments bother you too much, just pump so you don't' have to nurse in public.
usually the ones being sarcastic did not do it themselves so they don't udnerstand.
Keep your chin up. I admire anyone who makes the effort

Dimitra - posted on 12/06/2009

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I would tell them that Michael Jordan's mom nursed him until he was 5 years old and so have alot of other successful athletes and celebrities. I nursed my daughter until she was @ 15 months and I am glad for it. She was able to read phonically and by whole word by age 2. She's now 4 years old and has tested at a 3rd grade level in reading, math, and science. So keep your head up giving your baby sound nutrition from the beginning is well worth it.

April - posted on 12/06/2009

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i am planning to move out before christmas!!! that's my goal. it is getting soo ugly even though i have taken everyone's advice and i'm quiet, discreet and i continue to do what's best for my baby. My father in law told my husband that i am dumb, stupid and where did he find me and then he could do better by finding a wife off the street. well, that did not sit well with my husband. i am not sure what words were exchanged, but he won't even talk to us or look at us. He's THAT offended by an 11 month old nursing (and i nurse him in the attic where no one sees us!!) go figure....

Jessi - posted on 12/06/2009

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Quoting April:

How do you deal with the jokes?

my family keeps making fun of me for nursing my son, who is not even 1 years old yet. my dad said, "are you gonna nurse him until he's 5?" and my mom said, "he only likes to nurse at night, isn't that weaning?" i do not appreciate the sarcasm, it is very hurtful and unsupportive. I would like to know how you guys deal with the jokes? what do you tell people? i am especially interested in any kind of research i can use to defend myself with. I told my family i am planning to nurse my son until he is at least TWO.



Wow! I can relate!  I breastfed my daughter until after her second birthday... which I was completely comfortable with, much to the chagrin of my husband, mother and nearly everyone else!  I always just kind of shrugged it off, saying that I was doing what I thought was best for us. But it did bother me and made me feel like I must be weird for breastfeeding so long (even though I truly thought I was doing what was best).  I do know that I have read about research saying that the health benefits to mom from breastfeeding (in preventing certain diseases) was reached after nursing for a least 15 months (though I don't have citations, sorry...).  My advice is just to not let it get to you-- you are not the first or last person to breastfeed your child for an extended period.... it is a natural, healthy thing to do-- and you know what the right decision for you and your baby is!

Dawna - posted on 12/04/2009

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Quoting April:

lastest remark by my father, "you have an unhealthy desire to breast feed"


i would say your father has an unhealthy interest in what you choose to do with your breasts.

Natasha - posted on 12/04/2009

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Shoe aren't they ugly!!! I am proud of any mom that nurses their baby that long it is an achievement!!! Pat yourselves on the back! I never got any negative comment...shoe and I would give it back to them once!!!



Firstly it is cheeper! It is high in nutrition...your bond is absolutly stunning!

Wow it is just the right thing to do!!!!!

On any baby food product ~~~ milk ~~~ it states that it is recommended to breastfeed untill 2!!



I wish I could have done it but my girls where to interrested in the world and my milk consistancy to weak...had plenty but just to waterry so they where always hungry!!!



You rock girls!!!!



If people do not have anything positive to say they should not say it at all!!

Plus sarcam is the lowest form of witt!!!!



Proud of you carry on ...your baby is well taken care of!!

LOLOve N

Lesley - posted on 12/04/2009

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Sounds too familiar to me! I ignore them now - I'm tired of having to explain/defend my reasons for bfing. None of their business and it's not interrupting their lives so why do they honestly care? Just tell them you will stop when you are BOTH ready - but thanks for your support! xox

April - posted on 12/04/2009

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Quoting Donna:

I can't really relate to this, since I didn't have any problems from anyone (family, friends or strangers). Thankfully Australia is like New Zealand with plenty of parent rooms in shopping centres, and people generally knowing the benefits of breastfeeding.

It saddens me to hear that you are having to deal with such ignorance from the very people who should support you in whatever you choose to do. You are the parent of your son, therefore it's your responsibility to care for him the best way you know how. And you're doing one helluva job!! GOOD FOR YOU! Breastfeed as long as you want, because it does give you both heaps of benefits.

From the sound of things, it wouldn't make one bit of difference what facts and research you try to introduce to these people. They like wallowing in their ignorance. Thankfully you DO read too much. You sound very well informed and seek to educate yourself in what's best for you son. Why isn't your husband/partner defending you when you get attacked by his family?! You can confront your parents and tell them how it makes you feel, but your in-laws should be dealt with by their son.

I'm sorry you have to endure these people. It makes me so sad to know that you have to live with it every day. I have everything crossed (fingers, toes, hair, eyes) that you get into your own space soon. When you've secured a place, you can then tell them "well, thankfully soon you won't have to see us anymore, because I know how much the breastfeeding bothered you". :-) Just think, once you have your own space it will be YOUR decision whether to let them infect it or not.

Good luck! My thoughts are with you.



Donna, you hit the nail on the head....it DOES NOT make one iota of a difference to these people what facts and research i spit out. Most of their bullying takes place when my husband is at work..he is out of town a lot.



I haven't really told him how much his parents and sister have been hurting me until recently. He confronted his Dad and told him that he cannot treat me that way and his dad kicked us out on the street. i'm currently at my parents house in another state, while my husband looks for a place for us! I can't wait!!

[deleted account]

I can't really relate to this, since I didn't have any problems from anyone (family, friends or strangers). Thankfully Australia is like New Zealand with plenty of parent rooms in shopping centres, and people generally knowing the benefits of breastfeeding.

It saddens me to hear that you are having to deal with such ignorance from the very people who should support you in whatever you choose to do. You are the parent of your son, therefore it's your responsibility to care for him the best way you know how. And you're doing one helluva job!! GOOD FOR YOU! Breastfeed as long as you want, because it does give you both heaps of benefits.

From the sound of things, it wouldn't make one bit of difference what facts and research you try to introduce to these people. They like wallowing in their ignorance. Thankfully you DO read too much. You sound very well informed and seek to educate yourself in what's best for you son. Why isn't your husband/partner defending you when you get attacked by his family?! You can confront your parents and tell them how it makes you feel, but your in-laws should be dealt with by their son.

I'm sorry you have to endure these people. It makes me so sad to know that you have to live with it every day. I have everything crossed (fingers, toes, hair, eyes) that you get into your own space soon. When you've secured a place, you can then tell them "well, thankfully soon you won't have to see us anymore, because I know how much the breastfeeding bothered you". :-) Just think, once you have your own space it will be YOUR decision whether to let them infect it or not.

Good luck! My thoughts are with you.

Deborah - posted on 12/04/2009

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I would nod and smile and then politely but firmly tell them it's none of their business.

Lauren - posted on 12/03/2009

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My son is 13 months and we started weaning about a month ago. We now only nurse 3 times in a 24 hour period. I can understand your frustration, people often ask when I plan on weaning completely or suggest he's too old to be nursing. I know that breastfeeding is the best thing for my son and it's the best thing for me. You know in your heart what's best for you and your baby. There's a website for La Lecha League, it's and awesome website and I think you'll find it very helpful. www.llli.org Anyways, keep on breastfeeding, it's completely worth it and there's lots of support out there to be had. Don't let anyone bully you into weaning early because you only have the oppurtunity to breastfeed your son for this period in his life, once you do wean him that's it and it's over. Enjoy your special time with your son and do your best to ignore snide comments and remarks.

Leticia - posted on 12/03/2009

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i wouldn't mind nursing my daughter past 1 yrs old but there is a medication i need to get back on that i can't take while nursing so im planning on weaning her within the next few mons (shes about 11 mons) but if it wasn't for that who knows how long id nurse! tell your family to respect your desicion and back off

Sonya - posted on 12/03/2009

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I really didn't have that problem, but just let them know how it makes you feel. If they care, they will stop. There will always be people with jokes, whether it's family, friends or even strangers. Just remember who you're doing this for, your child, and really noone else matters.

Paige - posted on 12/03/2009

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You could always just ignore them. I know it's hard when they're your parents, but it's good to breastfeed for as long as u want. Even when/if they start growing their teeth in, u can teach them not to bite. It's an amazing thing for a mother and child, and it helps you bond. There's nothing wrong with it! :) Course, the jokes you can't rly stop unless you physically/verbally tell them to stop it. Like I said though, you could always ignore it. :) Good luck!

Jessica - posted on 12/03/2009

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You know, the funny thing is that there are so many people here who are like 'nurse til your baby weans themselves!' but I get these same comments from people because I >stopped< nursing before my son was a year old.



We started feeding him "real" food at six months, incorporating meals into his routine at our doctor's advice (introducing "real" food while still 60-80% breastfeeding reduces allergies, so she encouraged us to give him things like wheat, gluten and milk in very small doses to work with the breastmilk to increase his immune system), replacing lunch first and then moving at his pace. A little more than 2 months later and he had fully weaned himself, our last three nursing sessions at about 8 ½ months involved two minutes of him biting me repeatedly and laughing as I went OW and pulled away.



I know there are children out there that require to be nursed for longer, and that the reccommended is to go for 1 year or 2 years or however long the books say this week, but as long as you are listening to your child and taking however long or short they demand, then you are doing the right thing and everyone else can go ... somewhere else. :D

Christine - posted on 12/03/2009

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It's already scientifically proven that the colostrum from breast milk is great at building brain tissue and the longer you breastfeed the better it is for your child. Your making an excellent choice and you should remind them that it is YOUR choice and not their child. Some people just can't help be ignorant, that's all.

Laurie - posted on 12/03/2009

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you have to be the mother you choose to be, and calmly explain or bring up the situation at a time when everyone is calm. dont do it in the middle of them saying it. let them know that you appreciate everything they have done and continue to do for you, that you appreciate them and their help and advice, but also that its your turn to be a mom now, and you would like them to support you in anything you choose, even if it is nursing him till he is 5! i'm sure they dont know that they are making you feel that way, and if you let them know in a way that will not make them feel hurt or attacked, they might understand. bottom line is that even if they dont agree with you, or understand, its your child and your decision, and your responsibility, and you make the choices because you are going to have to deal with whatever consequences there may be. you do not have to explain to them how long you plan to do it for, and even if you did, you have every right to change your mind. and do not feel bad for nursing in front of your family, or anyone for that matter! it is natural, not that i wanna see everyone in the mall doing it, but if its in front of family visitors, you should do whatever makes you comfortable. What I know for sure is that id you approach them in a calm, positive manner, and make sure you let them know how much everything is appreciated, but that in this case, its hurting your feelings, dont say "unsupportive", they will take it the wrong way. just stay calm, and 99% of the time, you will find that it is all a misunderstanding that was blown out of proportion because of lack of communication. if you wait till you blow up, you will regret it, trust me, i have been there before! hope it all works out.:-)

Kellyn - posted on 12/03/2009

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I am also thinking about extending the period of nursing past the first birthday. Nursing has all kinds of positive effects on baby (both mental and physical).

1. Any antibodies that you have are passed on to your child when nursing, so you will boost his immune system the longer you nurse him.

2. The comfort of a mother's smell (both the body and the milk) have great calming effects on baby. If a baby is distraught, nursing will slow the heart rate and lower the blood pressure, and there is a greater chance that he will not have blood pressure issues in the future (especially if it doesn't run in the family).

3. Nursing is great for you because it helps you to create, establish, and solidify that bond you have with your child. And, as your child gets closer to being a toddler (and a teenager), they get more and more independent. So nursing is a great way to spend a guaranteed 30 minutes (or 60 minutes or however long you nurse for) with your child.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that YOU are his MOTHER. Your family is NOT. Although a family is important, they are not the end all, be all. YOU ARE. As a mother, you know what's best for your child. Just keep your chin up!

And if they say, "Are you gonna nurse him until he's 5?" again, just say, "You know, I've been thinking about it. There was a lady in England who still nurses her 8-year-old, so I think I might give that a go." Look it up on YouTube and show your family that video. If it was my family, it would distract them from me. Some families would just use that as more ammo, so depending on your family....

Rachel - posted on 12/02/2009

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I'm sorry that people - especially family - are using your nursing to have a joke. I was fed til I was three and a half and my three brothers were fed for a while too. I fed my first til he was one and my nearly 11-month old will be fed until he's at least two if he wants. If your family are gonna make jokes, my response would be 'If you can't be constructive and complimentary, don't say anything.' What you have to remember is that you are providing something wonderful to your baby that no one else can give him. A friend recently told me that this was the reason for her mother-in-laws jealousy that sparked many negative comments. This is your time with your son and it is time that cannot be re-lived. Enjoy it, go with the flow and feed your beautiful baby boy until he chooses to stop.

April - posted on 12/02/2009

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i love reading all your posts...they are very encouraging and make me smile!! i read them everyday and it gives me that much more courage to keep at it!



i have stopped defending myself, yet the comments come anyway.



latest remark by my sister in law "If you gave him a lot more solid food he wouldn't need your *$%& boob" (she used language i cannot post on here)

Abigail - posted on 12/02/2009

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im sorry for the way people have confronted you very smart choise of breast feeding!

breastfeeding is an amazing thing that should be honered instead of jeered, my family was very soppurtive, but my mom did not understand why i wanted too, she asked why would you want to be tie down like that? i awnserd becaused my child and i will have a connection that will be stronger than that of bottle fed babies. also breast fed babies are smarter and exell way beyond bottle babies in sport education and social skills so take pride in your decision! no need worring about them when its an exellent decsion you have made!

April - posted on 12/02/2009

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Posts like these remind me how lucky I've got it. I'm surrounded by people supportive of our breastfeeding relationship including hubby, mama, daddy, in-laws, and the lactation consultants and LLL. I'm so thankful!

Amanda - posted on 12/02/2009

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If all else fails you can cite the voice of authority. Tell them Health Canada and the World Health Organization recommend BFing for the first 2 years minimum and say that a baby should not be weaned under a year of age unless it is unavoidable. You can also say "My dr said...." (even if he didn't) most people won't argue with your dr's advice so they will at least leave you alone.

Stephanie - posted on 12/02/2009

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I just wanted to lend my support to you. It makes me sad that plp are like this. I have been fortunate enough to have a wonderful support system with my decision to breasfeed.



I do giggle at the ignorance of the comment "that you read too much" that just cracks me up. Educating yourself and reading is a very important part of empowering yourself. It is sad that he looks down upon that. It might just be that he is jealous that he cant breastfeed and read. :O)

Jessica - posted on 12/02/2009

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Quoting April:

thanks everyone for great advice...it is so nice to have a place to turn to. i got into a huge fight yesterday with my father in law and his daughter. they both told me to please stop bfing because it is "gross and disgusting and you're a sicko". i started to say that the WHO recommends continuing to age 2 and father in law told me to SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET OUT OF HERE!! he also told me YOU READ TOO MUCH!!


Does your hubby not have the ability to stand up to his family in support of you?!



 



Oh well, he'll miss his grandson eventually.

Delisha - posted on 12/02/2009

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Quoting Lucy:

The world health organisation recommend nursing until atleast 2.



my ob said that its recommend for u to nurse till they r 7years old.



i nurse but no way till that age..



2 is good, my son is 13 months but hardly nurses anymore...3xs a day nap and bedtime.



im tryin to get him off completly..lol

Delisha - posted on 12/02/2009

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y do they care what U DO W UR KID! i nurse but no one cares...has he been sick??

my son has been sick 1 time..& he is 13 months..(which he doesnt hardly nurse anymore 3xsaday30min but...i cant wean him.) anyways...he is ur son..im sorry that makes me mad, i have a friend and i had toencourage her to nurse at public places(bathrooms) bc she was worried people would say stuff...its ur kid ur choices.

idk if i helpdlol..

Leanne - posted on 12/01/2009

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Quoting Helen:

I read a very distressing article about a baby in cyclone katrina. If the family had been more supportive and less ignorant about breastfeeding this would never have happened.A large family including a mum and new baby with grandma and aunties , were stuck on a roof for 5 days. The newborn was bottle fed and died as they didnt have any drinking water for formula. When the mum was finally admitted to hospital she was seen by a midwife who asked if there was anything she needed she replied "I need something to dry up my milk." The midwife in shock asked why she didnt put her baby on the breast the mum said she didnt know how , all her family had used formula for years. This was a terrible and probably avoidable tradegy caused by bignorance about breastfeeding. I think if your family knew the benefits they would feel more supportive . Maybe something off the internet you could get them to read or listen to.Breast is best you are doing your child proud especially with the sarcasm.



This almost made me cry. That's so sad that someone who had the means to keep this poor baby alive, didn't.

Leanne - posted on 12/01/2009

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Quoting Brodie:

I have the exact problem. Becasue I'm still young my friends are telling me to "get her off the boob so we can go clubbing" Which I have no interest in anymore. I agree with Lisa Moreau. I tell people she'll nurse for as long as she wants.
So glad I had my partners support. When our daughtr was newborn we were at his soccer game and bub started to cry from hunger and I told him I was going to the car to feed her and he said "Feed her here, if we were hungry we'd eat here"
I coulndn't imagine how I'd do it without atleast his support!



I love this! It made me smile that your partner supports you like that.



 



Keep up the good work! You know what's best and don't let other's tell you different.

April - posted on 12/01/2009

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Quoting Leticia:

I know what you mean! My daughter is just about 11 mons and ever since she was 5 1/2 parts of my family has bugged me about when i was gonna put her on the bottle (we did so with my oldest at 7 mons bc he couldn't learn not to bite) Anywho, i told them that it was a personal decision and to leave me and my decisons alone. Another thing that bugged me about them is that my Step-Dad and my Bio Dad ALWAYS wanted me to wear a shawl or a blanket when i BF my children around them. I understand they might not be too comfortable about me doing i guess, but my kids hated having ANYTHING covering their lil faces when they tried to eat. I Finally told them both "how would you like it if i tossed a blanket over your head as you ate?!" and they started to at least keep their comments to themselves. I hate how nobody seems to support us BF moms but there is support gallore for the moms who Formula feed right from the start. Nurse your son as long as it is comfortable for the BOTH OF YOU. If you guys make it to age 2 then Congrats! I want to slowly start to introduce more food (after her teeth come in of course) and a little bit of cows milk after my daughter turns 1 while still nursing. Good luck to you, i hope your family understands what they're doing to you and stop



i know....all my friends brag about how their formula fed babies are all on 4 hour schedules and how great  it is. goood for them! i have my own way of doing things!!

Leticia - posted on 12/01/2009

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Quoting Brodie:

I have the exact problem. Becasue I'm still young my friends are telling me to "get her off the boob so we can go clubbing" Which I have no interest in anymore. I agree with Lisa Moreau. I tell people she'll nurse for as long as she wants.
So glad I had my partners support. When our daughtr was newborn we were at his soccer game and bub started to cry from hunger and I told him I was going to the car to feed her and he said "Feed her here, if we were hungry we'd eat here"
I coulndn't imagine how I'd do it without atleast his support!


i'm fairly young too and some of my friends say garb like that " get that child off the boob!" or "my older sister formula fed and her kids are fine" and i told them "good for her!" i will wean when we are ready! Even my mother, who was a supporter of the BF asked me a month ago "When am i gonna give her the bottle?" and my response was "never." and she dropped the topic. If your partner supports you and you and baby are happy that's all that matter :)!

Leticia - posted on 12/01/2009

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Quoting Jodi:



Quoting Stephanie:




Luckily for us New Zealand is totally pro-breatsfeeding. It is illegal to ask someone to not feed in public and there are parent rooms in all the big shopping centres with areas set up with comfortable chairs for feeding. Most of them also have a playpen for siblings. The management has obviously figured out that mothers will spend more time in the shops if they have somewhere comfortable to feed their babies. I have never had any problems while eating out either. The staff has always been happy for me to feed at the table.









 






I know we are starting to get there with the 'illegal to ask us to move on' law and some large store's supplying bf rooms but why are we (UK) who claim to be such an advance country be so far behind on teh bf issue.






UK has such a negative attidute to a natural thing





In the USA you can't ask a BF mother to stop feeding in public; nor can you tell them to completely cover up by making them wear a blanket or shawl over the baby and exposed breast, at least out here in California. But i do wish that Shopping centers would have special areas set up to BF and everything like you're mentioning in New Zealand, that would make everything so much easier!!

Leticia - posted on 12/01/2009

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Quoting Jodi:



Quoting Katie:

oh god i had the same thing- my father is very very uncomfortable when it comes to anything to do with other women showing their body, if we go to a cafe and i need to feed little one, he will walk away and sit somewhere else, thats if he doesnt just get up and leave full stop. i replied with "well, if you would like to play for the bottles, the steriliser, the formula, the teats, etc. then for sure i will bottle feed her!" i also had asked him if he would like to go and buy me a breastpump, which he was not happy about. Breastfeeding is just so much more conveinient. Its free, ready on demand, the right temperature, and not to mention THE BEST THING FOR YOU R BABY!

Breast milk is the best thing you can give your baby. (It even says so on the side of the tins of formula) Baby cats drink their mothers milk, baby dogs drink their mothers milk, baby horses drink their mothers milk, and baby humans drink their mothers milk too. If we weren't meant to breastfeed, why were we given breasts?

I hate how people do this, its YOUR baby, therefore its YOUR decision. Stand strong and dont let anyone tell you what to do with your own baby. They had their turn with you/and your siblings, now its your turn with your baby. dont let anyone take away that bonding experience that breastfeeding gives. Not only is breastfeeding better for babys health, but you two share a bond that other people obviously dont understand.





Could not of said it any better well done Katie





  Well said katie!

Leticia - posted on 12/01/2009

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I know what you mean! My daughter is just about 11 mons and ever since she was 5 1/2 parts of my family has bugged me about when i was gonna put her on the bottle (we did so with my oldest at 7 mons bc he couldn't learn not to bite) Anywho, i told them that it was a personal decision and to leave me and my decisons alone. Another thing that bugged me about them is that my Step-Dad and my Bio Dad ALWAYS wanted me to wear a shawl or a blanket when i BF my children around them. I understand they might not be too comfortable about me doing i guess, but my kids hated having ANYTHING covering their lil faces when they tried to eat. I Finally told them both "how would you like it if i tossed a blanket over your head as you ate?!" and they started to at least keep their comments to themselves. I hate how nobody seems to support us BF moms but there is support gallore for the moms who Formula feed right from the start. Nurse your son as long as it is comfortable for the BOTH OF YOU. If you guys make it to age 2 then Congrats! I want to slowly start to introduce more food (after her teeth come in of course) and a little bit of cows milk after my daughter turns 1 while still nursing. Good luck to you, i hope your family understands what they're doing to you and stop

Jennifer - posted on 12/01/2009

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Quoting Samantha:

I haven't had too many bad reactions to me breastfeeding. However, I did have someone give me a really good perspective on why the generation before ours seems to have a bad outlook on it. Someone mentioned that when they were our age, the thing to do was to feed babies formula. They were told that formula was great and filled with awesome vitamins for the babies. The only people who didn't feed their babies formula were the people who were too poor to buy it and those people had to breastfeed. So to the generation before ours, they tend to see breastfeeding not as a great source of nutrition but as a sign of a lower class, poor person. Just something to keep in mind when helping them realize the benefits of breastfeeding.



Wow, good point.  I'll have to remember that one.

Jodi - posted on 12/01/2009

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Quoting Katie:

oh god i had the same thing- my father is very very uncomfortable when it comes to anything to do with other women showing their body, if we go to a cafe and i need to feed little one, he will walk away and sit somewhere else, thats if he doesnt just get up and leave full stop. i replied with "well, if you would like to play for the bottles, the steriliser, the formula, the teats, etc. then for sure i will bottle feed her!" i also had asked him if he would like to go and buy me a breastpump, which he was not happy about. Breastfeeding is just so much more conveinient. Its free, ready on demand, the right temperature, and not to mention THE BEST THING FOR YOU R BABY!

Breast milk is the best thing you can give your baby. (It even says so on the side of the tins of formula) Baby cats drink their mothers milk, baby dogs drink their mothers milk, baby horses drink their mothers milk, and baby humans drink their mothers milk too. If we weren't meant to breastfeed, why were we given breasts?

I hate how people do this, its YOUR baby, therefore its YOUR decision. Stand strong and dont let anyone tell you what to do with your own baby. They had their turn with you/and your siblings, now its your turn with your baby. dont let anyone take away that bonding experience that breastfeeding gives. Not only is breastfeeding better for babys health, but you two share a bond that other people obviously dont understand.


Could not of said it any better well done Katie

Jodi - posted on 12/01/2009

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Quoting Stephanie:



Luckily for us New Zealand is totally pro-breatsfeeding. It is illegal to ask someone to not feed in public and there are parent rooms in all the big shopping centres with areas set up with comfortable chairs for feeding. Most of them also have a playpen for siblings. The management has obviously figured out that mothers will spend more time in the shops if they have somewhere comfortable to feed their babies. I have never had any problems while eating out either. The staff has always been happy for me to feed at the table.





 



I know we are starting to get there with the 'illegal to ask us to move on' law and some large store's supplying bf rooms but why are we (UK) who claim to be such an advance country be so far behind on teh bf issue.



UK has such a negative attidute to a natural thing

Jodi - posted on 12/01/2009

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I have had a few comments mainly you should do that away from people, I tell them that if it bothers them then they should leave the room. It is not as if I'm exposing myself just doing the best thing I can for my son. My family and friends however have all been very supportive.

If I was you just ask them why they feel its wrong to give your son the best start possible, and that they should do a little research and try to be a little less ignorant about bf. UK is one of the worst places for feeding our children to a good age the World Health Organisations believes that we should be doing it until our children are at lease 2 years of age.

http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/...

Christa - posted on 12/01/2009

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Stay confident in your decision to nurse your child. You can wean him when he and you are ready. As for the comments....you can reply honestly. Are you going to nurse until he is five....I would say, I have no intentions of going to school with him to nurse...so no I will probably not be nursing him until he is five. As for the weaning question.....I would reply, Sure....it is apart of the weaning process. Don't try to defend what you are doing...they will not understand...if they don't already. Stay confident and assured that you are doing a great service to your son and your dedication will be rewarded. Remember, (no offense to any of your family members) these are uneducated people when it comes to nursing...if they were educated they would not be making these comments. So sorry that your family don't see the benefits you are providing your child. Hang in there and stay positive!!

Suzie - posted on 12/01/2009

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i'm bf my daughter, she is 2 1/2 months now and i plan to feed her myself for as long as she wants. Some of my partners family and my family are uncomfortable with me bf her around them but i don't care. she is breastfed and when she is hungry i feed her. :)

Stephanie - posted on 12/01/2009

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Quoting April:

How do you deal with the jokes?

my family keeps making fun of me for nursing my son, who is not even 1 years old yet. my dad said, "are you gonna nurse him until he's 5?" and my mom said, "he only likes to nurse at night, isn't that weaning?" i do not appreciate the sarcasm, it is very hurtful and unsupportive. I would like to know how you guys deal with the jokes? what do you tell people? i am especially interested in any kind of research i can use to defend myself with. I told my family i am planning to nurse my son until he is at least TWO.


When I read posts like yours it really makes me appreciate the fact that my whole family to totally pro-breastfeeding. When I had to stop after 4 months with number one due to tongue-tie and other issues everyone was disappointed along with me.



Number two is now six months old and still going. My sister has an eight month old and sometimes it looks like a nursery at family gatherings as we will both be feeding at the same time. I don't see why I should have to leave the room and miss out on the conversation. I feed my little guy where ever and when ever he needs it. As long as you are discreet about it I don't see what the problem is.



Luckily for us New Zealand is totally pro-breatsfeeding. It is illegal to ask someone to not feed in public and there are parent rooms in all the big shopping centres with areas set up with comfortable chairs for feeding. Most of them also have a playpen for siblings. The management has obviously figured out that mothers will spend more time in the shops if they have somewhere comfortable to feed their babies. I have never had any problems while eating out either. The staff has always been happy for me to feed at the table.

Miranda - posted on 11/30/2009

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I would politely tell the that you want the best for you child, and that breastfeeding is just that! Breastmilk, as you know, is the best form of nutrition and enables them to have strong antibodies, etc...Why would you buy "formula" when you can provide something better for free? To the comment your father-in-law made regarding you "unhealthy desire to breastfeed": Well, he is ignorant (sorry, but true) he is unaware of the true benefits that breastfeeding provides. I would simply tell him that you are providing their grandchild one of the healthiest forms of nutrition that he could possibly recieve! And if they have a problem with their grandchild being healthy than they are the ones with the issue! :) I am sorry for what is going on with the lack of support, but I guess that is why you have the 'Circle of Mom's' that has your back! :) Good luck.

Dani - posted on 11/30/2009

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Pardon my French but if it was me, I'd tell them to FUCK OFF!! Seriously, though - aside from the fact that it's none of their business, you might also want to tell them that it's World Health Organisation guidelines to breastfeed to two years old. You are doing the best for your son! (My daughter is 15 months and she weaned herself a month ago - I'd been planning to try until she was 2 too; best-laid plans and all that.) I guess back when we were all babies, our parents were given very different ideas about breastfeeding (no doubt fed in part by the companies that make their profits from making formula! - not that I've got anything against formula, btw - I had to use it as well as breastmilk for my daughter for a few months.)

All I can say is - good for you! Keep on doing what you're doing - we're all doing the best we can, and I applaud you for continuing to breastfeed despite the annoying jokes you're having to deal with!

Dawn - posted on 11/30/2009

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i told people to go f themselves. it was my kid's health and well being and my choice so if they didnt agree they could kiss my fat a$$. i nursed my daughter till she was 16 months and she is super smart and healthy for it. screw the rest!

April - posted on 11/30/2009

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update...got an application for an apartment!! (and my mother told me she will disown me if i breastfeed until 3...but i know she doesn't really mean it like my father in law does)

Emma-Leigh - posted on 11/30/2009

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I have to agree with some of the ladies above - he has an un-natural fixation with what you do with your own personal breasts! There's a great book called "Parenting for a Peaceful World" by Robin Grille which might help explain some of your F-i-L's attitudes. A very interesting insight into the preceeding generations. Hope you get your appartment soon.

Emma-Leigh - posted on 11/30/2009

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The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding until babes are at least two. Info can be found on their website. Breastfeeding protects babies' gastrointestinal tracts from developing allergies, helps decrease obesity due to self-regulation of feeding. It also helps them develop into emotionally healthy independent children. You're doing an amazing job. Keep going and good luck!

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