I could use some advise on how to support someone who wishes to formula feed from the get go.

Sarah - posted on 02/27/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have a friend who is currently pregnant w/ her third baby. With the first two, she had difficulty breastfeeding probably because a lack of knowledgable support (not a lack of support), and ended up formula feeding both of them. I let her broach the subject of bf her third little one, and she seemed reluctant but a little more confident and willing to try. I gave her website addresses that have helped me as well as where to get some basic knowledge about bf in the books she already owns (What to expect...). However, when I offered a copy of _The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding_, she matter of factly said, "nope." I said, "okay," and left it at that. The conversations we've been having about what her decision will be about bf or formula, as I said, began more apt to give the baby bm instead of formula, but have moved toward the rehlm of almost hostility and belittling my accomplishment of bf Clara. The last conversations, and especially tonight's, have lead me to feel as if my bf-ing my daughter has not been the accomplishment it actally has, and, quite frankly, this hurts me a lot (I'm crying as I type). All I want to do is give her good sourses and solid information in the hopes that we can have (another) shared experience. I've been trying the gentile guidence approach when the subject is brought up by her, and I have, thus far, let her bring the topic up.

This is such a touchy subject to begin with; how do I show support, as a bf-ing mother who believes in the power of bf-ing, to a close friend who just doesn't seem to want to try?

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Celeste - posted on 02/28/2011

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I agree with Catherine. I think you did all the right things, but I would probably just drop it unless she brings it up. I know it's frustrating, I've been in similar situations a few times already.

Sarah - posted on 02/27/2011

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I talked to a friend (a breastfeeding mom too) and she said something simular. She also said that she may be getting pressure from others to bf and just doesn't want to hear anymore. Doesn't help that there are all kinds of crazy pregnant hormones either. I may ask again when it's closer to her due date.

Catherine - posted on 02/27/2011

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I'm sorry that you're feeling so hurt right now. Being successful at breastfeeding is definitely something to be very proud of, and please don't let anyone take that away from you.

Other than that, I think that you're doing all the right things with your friend. In the end, it's her choice, and based on what's happened so far, I think that for you to push any harder or bring the topic up yourself wouldn't help. Hopefully she will choose to breastfeed, but in the end, it's her decision, and I'm sure you are still going to be the same supportive friend to her that you've always been.

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