I'm 28 weeks pregnant with twins, and I'm still nursing my 3 year old son, I really don't want to stop, I do not want my son Jonah associating his siblings arrival with the loss of the boob. It's so soothing for him and about the only time I can get him to sit still! Any advice on nursing all 3? I'm young and have no friends that are mothers! My husband and I just moved, I'm totally lost and in need of encouragement! Help!

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Nancy - posted on 08/05/2011

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I have never nursed twins, but I did tandem nurse twice and nursed my oldest through my second pregnancy and both my oldest and second were still nursing when I got pregnant with my 3rd. My oldest weaned during that pregnancy and my second tandem nursed with my third also.

One way that worked for me was to have the toddler climb in my lap and "assume the position" and then have the baby lay on the toddler facing the other direction. Usually they ended up holding hands while nursing and often fell asleep. Since you will have another baby to feed also, you may need to have someone there to help you remove one sleeping nursling when it is time for a different nursling to nurse. I did get pretty good at sliding a sleeping toddler off my lap, down my legs and onto the floor without waking her, so that I could get up with the baby and sometimes even put the sleeping baby down and actually get something else done.

Be prepared that once the babies come your toddler will probably go back to full time nursing for a week or so, just as the babies do, (even having some newborn milk poop) so that he is not left out, but he will go back to his regular nursing habits shortly after the "new" wears off (if he is like both of my older girls). I suggest you prepare yourself and others that you probably will not be able to do much more than just nurse and rest for the first several weeks after birth, and that should be okay!!! Don't plan to be able to keep up with meals, dishes or laundry. You will need help!!! After a while you will get into a routine, but don't expect too much from yourself at first!!!

Good luck to you all and be sure to surround yourself with people who will support you and build you up rather than criticize you and put you down! Trust your instincts and do what feels right for you and your nurslings!!!

Lori - posted on 06/29/2011

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Get the book Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hillary Flower. It's got more info on tandem nursing than any other book that I know of. Also, there is a group here on Circle of Moms just for tandem nursing moms. You might find more help there.

I personally debated tandem nursing, and I read up on it, and spoke to my LC about it. Sometimes I wish I had decided to give it a try, but I was having a very hard time with nursing while pregnant. I weaned my 2 year old in the first trimester. It just hurt to much every time she nursed. You've already made it past that part. Way to go!!!!!!!
Also, I depending on where you live some La Leche Leagues have meeting specifically for tandem mommies. You're right though, with twins, and a 3 year old it's a very good idea to get your support system all lined up before the twins are born.

Congratulations, and good luck to you!

Tina - posted on 07/01/2011

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awwwww! That is SO incredibly cute! You should write that in his baby book now, before you forget it! How sweet!

Tina - posted on 06/30/2011

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Lilliana, I just remembered my daughter after her baby brother was born. She had just turned 2 and i had already weaned her a few months before. After baby was born she was very much interested in watching him nurse and the nipple and all. I let her be curious and explore along with baby and she did try to nurse, standing at the couch. She got a couple mouthfuls and decided she no longer liked moma's milk! and knowing that the milk is different right after birth, I am sure it tasted way different!

Merry - posted on 06/30/2011

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I read some amazing advise for night weaning from jay gordon, I'll summarize and then find you a link.

Essentially he says to start with the kid in bed still, and pick a 6 hour stretch you want to start with, right away, or later in the night and before and after that 6 hours nurse him if he asks, but in those 6 hours don't, you can hold hug rub pat sing etc to him but no boobie. Then once he is able to go those 6 hours work on the rest, comfort him any other way then the boob.

Then to get him out of your bed some adivse a toddler bed next to your bed, this way he can crawl in with you if he wants, but you can put him back too. Once he sleeps well in his bed next to you you can move it into his own room and voila! It's over!

Now I recommend taking it nice and slow like this, because if it were my son I'd want no tears, or maybe as few tears as possible. I couldn't do cold turkey it would break my heart!

Ok I'll find that link for you ;)

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Stephanie - posted on 08/07/2011

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I am 26 weeks pregnant with my second. My daughter self weened right about when I got pregnant. I wasn't quite ready for her to ween, but she was ready. Sorry I don't have the advice you need! :( Great job though!

Cheryl - posted on 07/24/2011

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wow thats going to be hard..im trying to wean our two yr old daughter and having no luck at all..she is so attatched..

Merry - posted on 07/01/2011

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I'd first work on the night time, work on him maybe sucking his thumb instead or maybe a comfort toy or blanket..... Once he's in his own bed he will be much closer to the goal.
Start with gently getting him to sleep next to you without the boob, then next to you but in the toddler bed. By then it should be smooth sailing ;)

Lilliana - posted on 07/01/2011

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Once or twice during the day depending on stress level and not normally for more than 5 or 10 minutes! Then at night he nurses quite a bit, he nurses to fall asleep and normally stays latched for the majority of the night, but that's less nursing and more human pacifier!

Lilliana - posted on 07/01/2011

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That's a great idea! Should I let him know twice a day is the plan or slowly get him into that routine before the babies get here?

Merry - posted on 07/01/2011

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I've explained to Eric that the baby has no teeth so she can't eat good big boy food, she only gets mamas milk. He seems to understand that concept and liked looking in her mouth and seeing she doesn't have teeth! She can't chew! This seemed to help him understand she needs my milk because he gets all the other foods too. :)
Maybe Jonah could understand he only gets to nurse first thing in the morning and then again right before bed, twice a day is not going to hurt the twins supply I bet and he would still get his snuggle time with you.

Lilliana - posted on 06/30/2011

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Thank you Emily I agree!, I'mso grateful for all of these positive understanding Mom's.

Naomi- There is no medical prrof that benefits stop at 2 infactI don't believe they do, my son is a little over 3 and he has had 1 cold in his whole life, and that was before his 1st birthday. I believe there are many benefits for both of us. I really appreciate your advice! Thank you!

Emily - posted on 06/30/2011

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I am so happy to see so many positive stories and encouragement here. I was cringing when I read the title because I thought for sure I'd read moms bashing you for still nursing a 3-year-old and considering tandem nursing 3 of them. You sound like a wonderful mom. :) I tandem-nursed w/ my 2.. my son was 2 1/2 when his sister was born. I really feel like still having that nursing bond helped to ease the transition. He wanted to nurse a lot at first, but after things settled down, he nursed much less and then did eventually wean. Good luck with your journey. :)

Lilliana - posted on 06/30/2011

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I love these stories, i can't wait to have stories of my own!

I talked to Jonah today and told him that the babies would need Mama's milk. And because they aren't lucky like him they don't get big kid food, so he might have to let the babies have more boobie than him, since he is a big boy he said this
"mama, the babies can have lots of boobie, i only need it sometimes like when i really need it yeah?"

He gets the idea, smart little boy :-)

Lori - posted on 06/30/2011

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Just to add to the personal stories of toddlers weaned while nursing. As I said earlier, I weaned my daughter during the first trimester. When her sister was born she was also quite interested in watching her sister nurse, and she also wanted to nurse again. I decided to let her try, and she latched on and nursed with no problem (She was 2 1/2 at the time). But it just felt so weird to me. I wasn't comfortable nursing her anymore. And I agree with what Laura said about once the baby - in your case babies - are born your toddler who looked so small and little just the day before all of a sudden seems HUGE. I've also heard other mothers say the same thing (nursing or not).



What I've done since is pumped a little extra for my now 3 year old. She really enjoys getting to drink Mommy milk still, and we've made it a treat - a few nights a week she gets a cup of mommy milk. And when she got sick a few months ago, I pumped extra for her, and she got mommy milk once or twice a day.



I'm just letting you know what I've done, so you know there are lots of options for you. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Lilliana - posted on 06/30/2011

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Thank you for sharing Sarah, that's hugely encouraging! Sounds like you have a beautiful family!

Sarah - posted on 06/30/2011

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I don't have any additional advice; I think everyone below gave great help. But I did want to give you some encouragment! I am pregnant with my fourth, my oldest having turned 4 years old in February. Both my first and second were only 18 months old when the next was born, and I was soooo worried about them feeling jealous or resentful about losing some of the one-on-one time, and mourning the loss of breastfeeding (my milk dried up almost entirely with each pregnancy and they lost interest, I wasn't sure if they'd be able to nurse again after the baby was born.) I was so relieved to discover that instead of fostering frustration, having something so special to share with the new baby gave the older kids a sense of acceptance. Instead of this new little foreign thing coming that had absolutely nothing in common with them; couldn't play, couldn't talk, couldn't even sit up and watch them without falling asleep, they remembered having "bup-bup" as they called it, and seemed to find comfort and a kind of joy in being "big brother" and 'helping' me feed the new baby. They would sit in my lap and help hold the baby, talk to the baby, and even try to feed the baby themselves! :) They both tried to nurse again a few times, but never really went back to being breastfed. This time, I'm blessed to be halfway through my pregnancy and still have plenty to share. I just hope that little miss priss is as generous as her brothers were!

Lilliana - posted on 06/30/2011

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Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I soooo needed that advice! I just bought a toddler bed for him, should be here next week! I can't thank you enough!

Tina - posted on 06/30/2011

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if you don't want to... don't. You, he adn babies can figure it out.
Night weaning... Plain and simple, get him out and keep him out of your bed.
Also, maybe you can explain to him that it is time for him to stop night time nursing. Maybe start with just a before bed nursing and maybe one in the morning. But nothing in the middle of the night. You could also make a paper chain (like a christmas that kids do the countdown with) to count down the days until no nursing starts. make it exciting for him to be a big boy. Also, reward him with something special, like a play date with a favorite friend at a special place!
For you... if you really are ready to wean, make sure you don't give in in the middle of the night to make it easy on either of you as that will just show him he can win by crying or getting up, or whatever he does. Gently remind him of the deal that you two discuss and agree on and help him find other ways to sleep.
almost all kids go through this, with breast or bottle. Being that he is older, it may be easier. But it may be harder considering he is older.
I think, if this is the decision you are goign to make, it is a good time to do so. You still have about 3 months to slowly get this figured out. And seeing that you will be in the hospital and he cant nurse, it will save daddy's sanity as well (or whoever has him)
Best of luck to you! to you both!!!

Lilliana - posted on 06/30/2011

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Thank you Laura and Tina, yes after hours of deliberation... I think I'll start to night wean! I'm heartbroken I was so determined for him to self wean! Ok so now I need weaning advice!

Lilliana - posted on 06/30/2011

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Vanessa- I agree, it would be easier on me. I just don't want Jonah to resent the babies!

Tina - posted on 06/30/2011

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i never tandem nursed and did not really have the desire to do so. Babies take so much out of you as it is and that was my personal reason. I did nurse while pregnant but slowly weaned before the next baby arrived. One less feeding here and there. A little distraction when child started getting desparation in their eyes. It usually worked.
I am in no way encouraging you to stop nursing. You do that if you so desire. I hear nursing twins with no bottle supplements is like and all day process and then add in your 3 yr old as well. It may be more than you can handle, and still have a little life left for you, not to mention hubby. If you decide you are goign to wean him, I would suggest doing so now, little by little. I think having him latched on all night now is going to have to change and he is goign ot have to learn to sleep on his own with you and your breast for comfort. You only have 2 breast and 3 little mouths! Night time could get a little tricky! Whatever you decide, I only hope the best for you, your son and new little babies!

Merry - posted on 06/30/2011

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You can encourage him into weaning if he's getting ready to wean on his own, but in my sons case, he's only 2, but if I try to encourage him to cut back he just demands more! My son is obviousy no where close to weaning, but your son is a year older, maybe some fun big boy stuff could encourage him to quit on his own terms.
I agree, don't force him, but you can try to help it along if possible

Lilliana - posted on 06/30/2011

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Melanie- thank you for the encouragement! Just knowing it's physically possible helps!

Laura- yes I don't imagine it will be easy! He nurses at nights alot, the duration of the night he is latched, but rarely in the day! Usually only if he's having a rough day and needs some comfort!
I've explained to him that when his babies get here they needs lots of Mama's milk, and he always looks so hurt!
I really want to let him lead weaning and I'm hoping once he see's that babies nurse he will get a burst of big boy pride and wean!

Merry - posted on 06/30/2011

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I'm tandem nursing my two yr old son and my newborn daughter, I gotta say it is hard, but I feel it's worth it. I do get frustrated with Eric, my toddler, sometimes because he asks to nurse so much. I know he doesn't 'need' it nutritionally so much so sometimes I get annoyed that he wants it as much as the baby! But he's young and I don't want his sister to make him grow up before he's ready.
But some changes happen with the new baby, your older kid looks so big, looks so old and I tend to expect more of him now then I did right before the baby was born simply because in comparison he is so big and old and smart etc.
So, I don't really enjoy nursing him too much, but I think it's important that I do because after all if I hadn't had a second baby I would still be nursing him.
Anyways, I can't imagine doing this with twins, nursing twins is harder then alot of moms can handle to begin with.
You need alot of support, make certain you call a la leche league leader and go to meetings if possible, find a lactation consultant, maybe hire a post parfumerie doula.
How often is your son nursing? Maybe try to cut him back a bit so he's not wanting to nurse every time the babies do.
And you might want to assign each newborn to one breast, and only nurse your son right after a feeding, he can do both sides, this way he is increasing your supply every feeding by encouraging each breast to make more.
I gotta say it's been nice when my baby has a growth spurt, I just let my son nurse less and she gets all the milk she needs from his side too.
I think it's possible, but make sure that you don't fail to nurse the twins entirely because you are trying to nurse all three.
If it comes down to it, wean your son for the sake of the twins.

Melanie - posted on 06/30/2011

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i understand how you feel but i was nursing my daughter when my son was born. i was heart broken that she stopped at the end of my pregnancy. i wish i had tried harder to tandem nurse. it worked for a bit but she was barely 2.
i do know of someone who successfully nursed her triplets if that helps. it cant be very easy but clearly can be done
my name is melanie im in tx where did you move to?

Ania - posted on 06/29/2011

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You know what...you will see how the situation unravels when the twins come. Keep BF him for now and you will see what a new situation will create

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