Lack of breastfeeding support at home

Annette - posted on 03/18/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

6

6

1

My son is one month old and I have been breastfeeding, but have had thrush and now mastitis and thrush is back. I am in school so I have pumped and given him a bottle during the day 3 days a week. We had problems getting back on breast so I use a nipple shield and he nurses on the breast fine. Anyways despite the difficulties I have had, my husband thinks that I shouldn't nurse him anymore. That he has nipple confusion and that I can't do it right. He thinks that I should only pump and give him bottles. He says this because with my first son (9 years ago) I pumped the whole year because I could never get him to latch on right. It is such a pain to pump all the time and time consuming to wash all the bottles and pump equipment every time. My mother-in-law even says that I should just give up! I feel so sad and discouraged. It is hard to nurse when my husband thinks that it is such a pain. Has anyone every had to deal with this?

7 Comments

View replies by

Stephanie - posted on 08/06/2010

38

23

0

Awww, sorry you do not have the support you need. You can do it! It is worth it if you can hold on, but if you have to pump then that is what you have to do. I think BFing was the biggest challenge twice to date in my life. Hang in there.

Camille - posted on 08/06/2010

155

14

7

Nursing will help with the mastitus. If you stop breastfeeding now, the mastitus may get really bad. Seriously, your doctor will tell you that the best thing for it is breastfeeding. As for the support, don't listen to anyone else. Personally, if my husband didn't support me, I'd tell him how hurt that made me feel, and if he didn't try to be more supportive, I'd get mad. If breastfeeding is what you and your baby wish to do, don't let anyone discourage you. You are the one feeding, so it's your decision!!!

Helen - posted on 03/20/2010

2

7

0

Some men actual get jealous of our bonding with baby when we breast feed, and to express from time to time and give daddy the bottle to feed baby makes the whole family bond as well as giving baby the good they need. Thrush a horrible with a never ending circle but your doing good to use nipple shield (i wasnt so sensible lol)xx. with latching baby on to breast right try lying babies in different possitions to help breast feeding correctly, it worked wonders for me, touching baby on the top lip with you nipple making them open wide for correct latching. also try all lying on the bed together, daddy too, while breastfeeding with soft music he will not moan again :)

Crystal - posted on 03/20/2010

23

17

0

When I had my first son, he was a tongue sucker and wouldn't latch on. I had to finger feed him with this tube thing I taped to my finger. After a week of that I decided since he was so stubborn I would pump and give it to him in a bottle. At 3 weeks of age I was getting ready to pump him a bottle and he was screaming because he was so hungry. I just put him to breast and that was it, he latched on no problem. However, then I struggled with the pain and improper latching. I lived with my mother at the time and all she ever said was "just give up if it hurts that bad, it's not worth it". (Strange since she breastfed my brother and I.) Anyways, my step mom knew how important it was to me to stick with it and she became my support person. Sometimes you find support in people you didn't think you could get support from. If breastfeeding is what you want then just stick with it. Yes, you have been dealing with the worst of the worst when it comes to issues with breastfeeding but if you can go through all that and still want to be breastfeeding, you'll do just fine!! If you need any support, I'm here and so are the other women on this site. Any questions and we are all here! Just hang in there, and if you need to just let your husband and mother-in-law know that you really need support through this and would appreciate if they could stick beside you on it and not bring you down. But if that isn't in the cards, just stick with us here, we'll try and help give you the support you lack elsewhere!!

Martha - posted on 03/19/2010

123

1

18

Explain to him how you feel and exactly what you want to do. Tell him how much MORE work it is for you to pump. It's harder to keep your supply up without direct nursing, ALSO when your baby nurses his saliva sends your body signals as to what exactly he needs and your body changes the milk according to him so it is always best to stay at the breast. If you explain all this to him, and let him know what YOU really want to do, and he still can't be supportive, then you can just tell him that you aren't going to change your mind because you are doing what you feel is best for your (as in both of you) son. As for the in-laws, i usually just nod and smile and ignore the situation haha. Good luck mama! I hope everything works out and it gets easier after all these issues pass! ♥!!!!!

Tara - posted on 03/19/2010

167

20

19

I know how much pumping can be a pain! i have had a couple comments coming from my husbands side of the family and i tell them hey look, babies need to be breastfeed for at least a year and point out all the benefits with it. its hard to not give up, but go see a lactation consultant with your husband for some advice, or see someone from lalecheleague. they will work wonders :)

Angela - posted on 03/18/2010

172

34

19

Thank goodness I haven't had to deal with a lack of support, but I'm proud of you for sticking with it! I want to tell your husband that he should try it sometime! I know to them it seems to be a lot easier to just pump and bottle feed or even switch to formula, but they don't realize the emotional connection that comes with it! If your baby is breastfeeding fine now, keep breastfeeding if that's what you want to do - which it sounds like it is. If there's not a problem now, there's no reason to stop what you're doing, right? I understand pumping being a pain, I can hardly get anything at all when I pump so I don't do it very often anymore. My daughter is 6 months old and she will take a bottle if she needs to, we've never had any nipple confusion. Basically, unless there's a problem, your husband should have no real reason to want you to stop. My husband has been so supportive and I can't imagine doing it without his support, so I really admire women that can do it without. Stick with it! I think you'll be glad you did in the long run.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms