Mercedes - posted on 11/28/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )




HELP! Calling all mothers! I need advice asap.
My son Ayden is now 10 months, he'll be 11 months on the 6th and I want to ween him by 1 year.

Breastfeeding has been great. Words cannot discribe the wonderful bond that I have developed with my son, but this weening process is really hard. He refuses to sleep, and he hangs on me 24/7. He is actually pulling on me now as I type. I doubt want to refuse him, I know hes not hungry, but if I give in, I feel that it will never end. I only nurse him once in the day and twice at night. What should I do?

Please share stories, experiences, or advice as to how I should stop.
What age was your baby when you weened them?

Thanks in advance,



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Lizelle - posted on 12/02/2010




It's so much easier to wean once they are older and ready for it. At that age mine were having 3 feeds a day (none at night) and from 12 months on 2 a day (one first thing in the morning and one before bedtime). It's very manageable to continue doing so until they are emotionally ready to wean. Babies still get a lot for their nutrition from breast milk between 12 and 24 months. There really is no need to wean if you don't want to. Rather try to wean him of the night feeds and rather have him feed during the day.

I weaned my eldest at 32 months and I'm still feeding my 19 month old. She's just drink once a day now.

Lise - posted on 11/29/2010




Just wondering if co-sleeping is an option for you. It's not for everyone, but is heaven for me. She latches on and I sleep through her nursing,

Katherine - posted on 11/29/2010




Do you work at all? With all the night nursing, it sounds like he might be reverse cycling a bit. Try nursing a lot right before bedtime to keep him tanked up through the night.

Also, if he's learning to walk, it's probably keeping him up at night a lot more. When kids are learning new skills, they do tend to get worse about he sleeping.

I can't really help with the weaning part, as my 27 month old is still nursing like it was going out of style. You may want to talk to your local LLL leader for suggestions. They've got awesome amounts of information.

If you do decide to keep nursing, I promise he's going to stop eventually. And the clinginess? This too shall pass. Honestly, without our day time nursings, I'd never get to snuggle with my son. :)

Merry - posted on 11/29/2010




My family does child led weaning, my cousins, and my husbands siblings etc.
The way they do it is the mom just breastfeeds the baby with no age limit, the baby decides when they want to eat foods, or drink water, or breast-feed.
This way the baby is in control of their needs.
So my family breastfeeds approx two years or so for each child because if you don't force them to wean, many toddlers will be able to be gently encouraged to wean around two years.
Personally I prefer to let my son breastfeed until he grows out of it.
Looking into how humans are designed to mature I have found out that it is not natural to wean any time before two, and average is around four years.
I want to be at least average with my son so we are aiming for four years before he weans.
I never want to make my son think I am pushing hum away, I want him to know he can count on me to always be there for him. So I couldn't wean him before he is ready to do it himself.
I want him to be confident I will not make him grow up before he's ready, so weaning is all up to him!
I want him to be healthy Asa possible so after I learned that children are at increased risk of illness if weaned before two years I decided I would not wean before two years minimum.
I couldn't stand it if he got sick and I had to wonder if I caused it by weaning him too soon.
So I know I can't be a perfect mom, but in this way I am confident I can make certain that I have no regrets.
I will breastfeed him until he decides he is done, and that way I know he was never pushed away from me.
I want him to be independent and so I know that trying to get them to grow up too fast makes them clingy and whiny and needy. So I will let him develop as he sees fit in this way so he never gets clingy. He is wonderfully independent now because he knows for sure that I will always be tight here to give him his needs, physical, emotional, mental etc I want him to trust me. And this is a great way I've learned about to help him build confidence in me!
I hope you understand that mom never needs to wean her baby. Babies, like other mammals will grow out of their need for breastmilk and they will decide on their own terms when they are done.
We can do it the easy way! And just give them their emotional comfort until they grow out of it and never have to listen to their painful cries when we reject their asking for our comfort.
I couldn't do that to my son, I don't think he deserves to be denied his mom, and it sounds like your heart doesn't want to tell him no either.
You don't have to wean him, breastmilk is very healthy for years to come, it protects him from so much, and it develops his mind and brain so much in the toddler years.
If your heart says it feels wrong to deny him, then trust yourself.
You shouldn't make yourself wean him just because our society says boobs are only for infants and men.
If it feels wrong, if it's making you sad, then it's not time to wean him.
Weaning should only happen when at least one partner (mom or baby) feels completely happy to be done.
Oh and just a cool tip, breastmilk is very nutritious in the second year, and yes he might be hungry for your milk. He doesn't have twenty teeth yet right? We can't expect a one year old to be able to eat a full diet with only a few teeth! He does still get hungry for your milk, he isn't able yet to be eating a full diet of real foods, he just isn't old enough.
Just trust your heart, and his heart, you both want to keep breastfeeding, that's perfectly normal! And belayer, and wonderful.
He doesn't need to wean now, and I can see you don't really want to stop.
If it helps, the world recommendation is 2 years minimum, so you can keep that in mind and try to remember that if weaning feels wrong, then it is not time yet.

Elisa - posted on 11/29/2010




I can't be of much help. My kids all weened themselves. My first at 15 months, my second at 19 months, my third at 9 months (we had to start supplementing with formula), and I'm still nursing my 25 month old.

Lise - posted on 11/28/2010




Just throwing out there that breastmilk should be the main source of nutrition until your baby is a year, so if you wean now, you should replace it with formula. Why not wait until a year and then stop?

Anyway, for weaning, I'd slowly cut it back. So maybe limit nursing (esp if it's comfort nursing) to 10 min for a day or two, then 7 min, then 5, then 1, then count to 10...

Karla - posted on 11/28/2010




We started our son on Nuby brand cups around 7-8 months. At first he wasn't interested at all. We kept offering it with breastmilk or water anytime we were feeding him table food. I promise you my son didn't even care to do more than play with it for at least a month. Just keep trying but don't force the issue. At a year of age he was nursing four times a day, on waking, at 12, at 4, and at bedtime. When I was ready to start weaning at about a year old, I stopped offering him my breast at 4pm. Instead I gave him a cup of 1/2 breastmilk & 1/2 whole milk. Then after a week or two, I did the same at noon, then waited a week or two and dropped the waketime feeding. I fed my son at bedtime only for a couple of weeks, then decided not to offer the boob, but nit refuse if he asked for it or acted upset. After a few days he didn't ask for it, so I didn't nurse him that night and the next night he didn't ask again....and we were done.
I wasn't feeding my son at night when we weaned, so I am afraid I can't give you any suggestions regarding that.

You have done a spectacular job feeding your child for as long as you have!!! If you want to continue past a year and it feels right to you, by all means, continue. But if you are ready to be done, that is OK , too!!!! Good luck and feel free to contact me if you have any other questions!!!!

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