Not a boob man anymore

Michelle - posted on 04/25/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Me and my hubby used to have a very passionate relationship before my daughter came along and of course when she was born sex was the last thing on my mind. Ive recently stopped breasfeeding and my daughter is now in her own room. I feel like my body is now getting back to normal and my sex drive has come back but im sad as the passion we once had seems to have gone. He used to love my boobs but now he pays them no attention, is this cos i breastfed and he just doesnt find them desirable any more? Has this happend to any other ladies out there? Im only 24 and id hate to think that there is no more passioin in my life.

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i'm 24 as well and got pregnant just 6 months after getting married, so i sometimes thought... "geez, did we really miss out on all the good stuff? is it already over?" but what helped was lovingly hinting that i was not only willing but wanting to get passionate again! after the baby, he was very understanding and not pushy, so we had just kinda gotten in the habit of taking things slow. most husbands dont really know what the boundaries are and they never know what hurts or what bothers us or what we're ready for... (esp since it can change daily! haha) so its kinda like the balls in your court to step things up again and show him that you dont just belong to the baby! he may not know that you are missing the attention or that hes "allowed" to love on the boobies again!

Lori - posted on 04/25/2009

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You need to discuss this with hubby. He may have just gotten used to not playing with them while you were breastfeeding. I know if my hubby plays with them he is likely to get squirted in the face. They have been off limits for so long he may not realize he can! I know I nurse all over the house and all the time, when they are poking out of a nursing bra my hubby has no desire for them at all, he compares it to looking at a food bar. But when we are alone he still likes the site of them.



He also just may be one of those guys who can't get over the fact that they were for the baby. Just talk to him and let him know you appreciate attention!

Amy - posted on 04/25/2009

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I had a slightly similar experience as my fiance used to love my boobs until i breast fed and then he just totally ignored them. I was only 22 when I had my eldest child and fed her for 3mnths. It took quite a while before he accepted them as part of me again and not the baby's feeding paraphernalia that could shoot him down at 20paces!!!! At first I had to explain it to him but then it felt like a forced effort if he paid attention to them so I l left it. Within a few months we were back to normal. Since then i have had 2 boys and bf them both the 1st from birth til he was 18mnth old and I was 4mnth pregnant, the second is 10mnth old and we are still going. So, although our sex life is fine, my boobs are left out of the picture as he is very wary of them when they contain milk, I can't get him to explain why and he's not 100% certain either but I know that in a few months they'll be back again. not as pinky and perky as in the good old days when I met him (!!) but we talk and he loves me despite having 3 children in 5yrs and all the jelly bits that come with it!! Your hubby will be fine he may just be worn out with work and adjusting to baby and you and lost a bit of his drive whilst he's been waiting for you. Try a nice weekend alone if you have friends or family you trust who can take baby for you, fun sexy and no responsibilities for a day works wonders!! hope I have helped somehow? good luck and take care x

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