Saddened by Mother's anti-breastfeeding comments

Samantha - posted on 10/12/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I suppose this is a just a vent, but it just made me so upset I had to share!
Recently in a Mother's group I belong to, a mom of 6 made an alarming comment. The discussion was surrounding sleep habits and how/where your baby sleeps, etc. She said, "Well, I don't breastfeed because when you do that, they want to be held to fall asleep and it just goes on for months and they have trouble sleeping, so don't nurse!"

I was sitting in a room with moms who all seemed to be separate sleepers and short term breast feeders, but the attitude of the whole statement just stunned me! Granted, we are co sleepers and I feel that method is what has worked best for us and has helped facilitate long term breastfeeding and the most rest for everyone. Just made me sad to hear that kind of attitude toward breastfeeding and affection with your baby!

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Mary - posted on 10/12/2010

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I am still breastfeeding my 16 month old daughter. We put her in her crib in the nursery when she was about 5 months old. Although on the one hand it was harder for breastfeeding, it was better for our sleep. When the time came, and she was having trouble falling asleep on her own, we changed the pattern of her feedings so it wasn't the last thing she did before going to sleep, and she can fall asleep on her own just fine. Even though she no longer nurses to sleep we do a lot of cuddling at bedtime, nursing, stories, singing while being held. Although she's not a perfect sleeper, it is more her temperament and teething, and not related to nursing. I think we would have had similar issues with formula, but she wouldn't have been as healthy. Some people are so misinformed. I wish they wouldn't spread it around.

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[deleted account]

Don't all babies want to be held when falling asleep at first? My daughter sleeps in her own bed and has since she was 3 months old. She started sleeping through the night at about 4 1/2 months. I love breastfeeding her and had to fight for it when she wasn't gaining weight.

It did take me a bit to figure out naps, but I got her to take those in her crib as well. I think it would have all been easier if I didn't co-sleep at first and then suddenly change it up on her... but none of us were getting good sleep.

Merry - posted on 10/14/2010

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Ps I don't co sleep, idk if that was unclear but Eric has been in a crib in his own room since 9 months. I just go to him whenever he wakes to nurse him back.

Briana - posted on 10/12/2010

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Not co sleeping doesn't mean you have less affection for your child than someone who does.

With that out of the way, everyone is going to have an opinion that you don't agree with and your going to have opinions that someone else doesn't agree with. Such is life. Brush it off and move on.

Erin - posted on 10/12/2010

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I breastfed both of my boys and they both started sleeping 6+ hours at a stretch at 5-6 weeks. I had a baby moniter for both of them so when they would start fussing, I'd get up, change the diaper in the dark, and then nurse. Most of the time, within 20 minutes, my children were back to sleep. I did introduce solids between 3-4 months, but my children were big at birth. By 6 months, we would have a feeding just before bedtime and then they would sleep until morning (about 6 am). It is completely false that breastfed children don't sleep. In fact, when I was a sophmore in high school, I babysat an infant after school that was formula fed. He didn't sleep through the night until closer to 10 months of age.

Merry - posted on 10/12/2010

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I feel bad that women will have babies and won't commit to holding them until they fall asleep! The baby deserves to drift off into sleep in the natural way, and that is in moms arms! We just have to make our babies fit our little world these days. It's a real shame. They deserve better. I mean we made them, shouldn't we at least do right by them and care for their emotional well being as well as their physical well being? There's more to being a mom then feeding, changing, burping, and bathing. It's about nurturing, caring, loving, teaching, soothing, and listening to their needs.

I'll nurse my son to bed for years if that's what is best for him! Months is so puny, I mean come on lady!

[deleted account]

You can quote me next time this conversation comes up. I breastfed my daughter for a year. She slept in a cradle next to my bed until she was sleeping long stretches. We moved her to her room at 6 weeks because she was sleeping 4-6 hours at a time and we all slept better with this arrangement.

Our sleep arrangement did not affect our breastfeeding relationship. Our breastfeeding relationship did not affect our sleeping arrangement.

I think this woman is looking for an excuse to not breastfeed or justify her decision to not breastfeed. Because it is certainly not the case that breastfed babies don't sleep!

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