
Sara - posted on 09/07/2009 ( 80 moms have responded )
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Ok so I have a 7 month old. I breastfeed him to sleep at night. I have tried the "let him cry it out" method. He can cry for well over an hour, so I gave it up and just nurse him to sleep. Every night. My husband works nights so I have no one else to help get him to sleep. He is becoming very dependent on me only. My current problem is that he has been waking up at 4 am and as soon as I pick him up, he goes to sleep. When I put him down, he starts screaming. We did this for an hour and a half today before I gave up and just put him in bed with me. While I know there are benefits to co sleeping, my husband and I have decided thats not what we want to do. We want him to sleep on his own.
Any thoughts or ideas on what I can do to help him sleep on his own? Should I start letting him put himself to sleep at night and stick to the cry it out method my Dr suggests?
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Mandy - posted on 09/07/2009
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yes, there has been scientific studies done on this.
i am getting all my facts from Dr William Sears sleep book. I have found it really helpful.
Infants who are routinely separated from their parents in a stressful way have abnormally high levels of stress hormone cortisol and lower growth hormone levels. These imbalances inhibit the growth of nerve tissue in the brain.
Researchers at Yale Unerversity and Harvard Medical School found that intense stress early in life can alter the brain's neurotransmitters and structure in a similar way to that found in adults with depression.
A study from the Unerversity of Hertfordshire, U.K., showed infants with persistant crying episodes were 10 times more likely to grow up to have ADHD, concluding this may be due to unresponsive parenting.
Research at Baylor University found when chronic stress over-stimulates an infant's brain, the child will grow up with an over-active adrenaline system, causing aggression, impolsivity, and violence later in life.
Studies at the UCLA School of Medicine found the stress hormone cortisol actually destroys nerve connections in critical portions of an infant's developing brain, and when babies are neglected, they can grow up to be violent, imolsive, and emptionally unattached children.
Doctors at Case Western and Duke Universities showed prolonged crying in infants caused increased pressure in the brain, elevated stress hormones and decreased oxygenating to the brain.
Researchers found babies whose cries are usually ignored will not develop healthy intellectual and social skills.
Doctors at the National Intitute of Health found that infants with prolonged crying (not due to colic) in the first 3 months of life had an average IQ 9 points lower at five years of age and poor fine motor development.
Infants with excessive crying during the early months show difficulty controlling their emotions and become even fussier when parents try to console them at 10 months.
All babies cry, and most babies grow up to be emotionally and neurologically healthy children. However, this research is clear on one point: intense, extended periods of crying alone can permanently harm a baby's developing brain. What does this mena about the Cry It Out method? A baby who only cries briefly for a few nights is probably fine. What about crying for many minutes, night after night? We cant say how many minutes and how many night are safe, because no one has ever researches this. We urge parents to be very cautious if they decide to try this method.
Dr William and Martha Sears
sorry i cant offer any suggestions for sleeping on his own, my baby sleeps with me, but i have taken the side off his cot and attached it to my bed next to me so he is right there if he needs me without me getting up. i finally get sleep. alot of the time he just needs to know i am there.
Minnie - posted on 09/07/2009
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Will he be off getting a paying job tomorrow?
He's a baby, a human baby, who is very vulnerable and dependent on you, his mother, for his lifesource and security.
It is no strange coincidence that breastmilk contains soporiphic hormones. No, breastfeeding and sleep go hand-in-hand.
I have nursed my ten 1/2 month old to sleep for naps and during the night (typically four times a night still) since the day she was born. Infants are expected to get at least 25% of their nutrition during the night for at least the first 12 months. For him to be left alone, in his animalistic instinctive mind, is to risk bodily injury, and separation from you through abandonment.
Letting him cry himself to sleep will work eventually- but it will happen at the expense of your child thinking you effectively dead to him at night, that his needs don't matter to you when the lights go out- and may possibly physically harm his developing brain- which will be awash in stress hormones while he is left to attempt to pull stability and security out of the darkness.
Nurse your baby to sleep, keep him within arm's reach duirng the night, and you will be providing him a secure foundation in which he is able to grow and develop optimally, and will naturally develop his independence at his own pace.
Erynne - posted on 09/12/2009
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We're working through "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" right now. I did my sleep chart for last night (miserable... the baby got 7.5hr of sleep, and I probably got about 7hr) but I'm still holding out hope for a gentle way to get my son to sleep at least 5hr in a stretch.
There is more and more research coming out that shows forcing your baby to cry is actually quite harmful. Here's a bit from Margot Sunderland's "The Science of Parenting."
"Prolonged uncomforted crying can adversely affect key systems in the brain and body, leading to a vulnerability to depression, anxiety disorders, and other physical and mental illnesses in later life. Being left to cry means a child learns that he is abandoned just at the time he needs help."
"Early stress can cause cell death in a very important struction in the brain...the hippocampus, found deep within the lower mammalian brain, which plays a role in long-term memory. In the brain scans of children who have suffered intense uncomforted distress, the hippocampus appears somewhat shrunken because of cell death within its tissues. We don't know exactly how much this cell death affects a child's working memory. However, adults with a shrunken hippocampus scored lower on memory and verbal reasoning tasks."
"Studies on other mammals with lower brain structures and chemical systems like ours show that early stress can leave an infant's brain in a highly disrupted biochemical state. Essential systems involving the emotion chemicals opioids, norepinephrine, dopamine, and seratonin, which are still being established in an immature brain, may be badly affected, resulting in chemical imbalances in the brain."
Hope those help a bit. Try to find "The No-Cry Sleep Solution," and you might also read "The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program" just to understand the rhythm of a baby's sleep habits.
- E
Nikki - posted on 09/11/2009
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Hi Sara - Just so you know I think you may have found the no cry sleep solution book aimed at toddlers and preschoolers - there is also a no cry sleep solution for infants which has advice that i'm sure will seem more applicable. Good luck figuring it all out!
Tahnee - posted on 09/09/2009
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letting your baby cry doesnt mean your a bad or neglectful mother. plenty of parents do it, it doesnt hurt the baby. I did it with mine and in a short while he knew when it ws bed time. He would either go staight to sleep or would just lay there and talk to himself before falling asleep. What I did was set a bed time the same every night. fed him and what not. Layed him down, and if he cried I would wait 5min before going in. Put his soother in didn't say anything and walked out. If the crying continued i waited a little long and went in again. So on and so forth. usually after about 20 min he fell asleep and slept through the night. And soon enough no more crying, maybe occassionally. It doesnt make you a bad parent. If you pick them up all the time when the cry theyll except it all the time.