the household clash

Katrina - posted on 04/02/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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my fiances family as well as himself seem to be allover feeding infants cold formula, they all have the same aspect that cold milk is better and warmed milk just is gross.....I say what comes from me isnt cold so of course i disagree.....im not saying that cold milk is bad but i just feel being that my milk is naturally warm, then its only natural for an infant to be feed warmed formula or warmed pumped milk.....my concern is when i get to the point of pumping and having him or someone from his family feed our baby that they at least make sure it isnt cold...im not sure exactly how to stress it to him or them. or should i not be as concerned and just let them feed as they wish?

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Annette - posted on 08/04/2009

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some people are so silly. babies like warm milk. they are sensitive to temperature. their tastebuds aren't fully developed and they don't know "cold milk is better". that is something they learn after they reach a yr old and start drinking cow's milk. it really erks me when people don't listen to the mother about what's best for her baby. ugh.

Natalie - posted on 04/06/2009

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a baby can digest warm milk (milk thats at body temp) faster since their system doesnt have to warm or cool the milk for it to be digested. this helps your body maintain homeostasis, and therefore the baby is not burning more calories to heat the cold milk so that it can be digested. it wont hurt the baby, but might not be as welcomed on the little ones belly. remember this is your child and do whatever you feel is best. thats why you are the mommy ;)

Charmaine - posted on 04/03/2009

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Regarding the separation of the breast milk, this occurs when it is at a standstill. The milk will mix again if you give the bottle a little swirl or gentle shake. If you are going to feed an infant formula cold I would be careful as the container says it should be around 40 degrees Celsius to allow the formula to dissolve. In cold water you may find the formula may have lumps of undissolved powder.

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Jennifer - posted on 07/29/2011

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I was taught with my oldest two that it MUST be warmed, but they also drank straight from me, no issue! I had to pump and feed my youngest, but I never thawed it till it was time to feed. I had to warm it. My husband and anyone else who fed her had to warm it too.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/05/2009

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I have had similar disagreements with my inlaws. They have very different parenting styles and ideas than I do (none of the BF for example and they see no need to put him down for naps when he is over there). I approached it the "my way or the highway" route. I pretty much let my MIL and SILs know that this is my child and while their parenting techniques and ideas are perfectly fine they need to do things my way when they have my son. I think that this type of argument leaves little room for debate. While there is no harm in giving a child cold BM it is your decision how you want your son to be fed, period, end of discussion.

User - posted on 08/05/2009

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If this is the only issue you have with your fances family, I'd say you have it pretty good. If your baby will take the milk cooler than you prefer, so be it. I was warming up my daughter's milk LONG after she didn't care about the temperature of the bottle because "that's how you do it" - well, I found out pretty quick that it's easier to give her cold milk from the fridge if she'll drink it that way!

Relax, they're taking an interest in the baby - so many mothers have a difficult time getting their partners and their partner's families to do just that!

Katrina - posted on 08/04/2009

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everyone that reads/answers this ...lisa bakos is holding her niece which is my youngest....how great is that.....thanks lisa

Mimi - posted on 08/04/2009

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you child will eat what they are used to. when your fiance's family sees that the child refuses cold milk they will quickly warm up that bottle!

Lisa - posted on 08/04/2009

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You are the mom and what you say goes! If you want it warm then guess what, it's warm. Anyone who can't respect your wishes doesn't need to feed your baby.

Allison - posted on 04/03/2009

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Honestly, when my husband gave my daughter a bottle of expressed milk, he'd just thaw it on the counter and give it to her cool. He didn't bother to warm it up or anything and she was ok with it. I don't think having it cold is a problem digestively at all or is bad for baby. However, many babies won't take cold milk. Obviously, if yours isn't interested, your family will find out soon enough ;-)

On the other hand - if you are not comfortable with them feeding your child as you would like, either make sure they will follow the rules or make sure they don't have an opportunity to feed him when you're not around. You don't have to prove anything to them - you tell them what you want and if they can't do that, then they don't get to feed him. Period. You are the mom.

I think you could certainly stress this to them, or you could let it go . Your choice!

Renee - posted on 04/03/2009

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If I feed my son expressed breast milk, I warm it to be able to mix it (as Carol mentioned). If I feed him formula, I usually give it room temperature. I started out warming the formula, but then got out of the habit when I noticed that he would take it room temp. And recently when he was sick and I suspect had a sore throat, he preferred it cold from the fridge!  



I think you need to find out what your baby prefers and go with that. 

Johnny - posted on 04/03/2009

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I'm not sure if this is the case for other women, but when my breast milk has been expressed it separates.  It does not mix together again properly unless it is warmed somewhat.  If I try to get the watery part & the cream back together when its cold, it does not work.  This might prevent them from feeding your LO cold expressed milk.  I know it doesn't make a difference for formula, but if your LO likes it warm, they might have to change their tune.  Good luck, it's difficult when others try to tell you how to parent your baby.

Barbara - posted on 04/03/2009

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As far as other people that are not your husband goes, they should feed your baby your way or not at all.  Your word should be absolute LAW when it comes to other people taking care of your baby. 



However, if your husband disagrees with you you have to discuss that with him.  If your child will drink cold milk as readily as warm milk, it might not make a difference.  Maybe you should get your pediatrician's opinion on the subject and have that be the deciding vote.

Charmaine - posted on 04/02/2009

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Breast milk is the temperature babies prefer and it is NOT cold and it is not warm. When it is expressed it is a neutral temperature. It's funny how so many people think their way is the only way but it isn't true as every baby is different. Whilst I am breastfeeding my daughter I do give her formula when in public as I don't like people staring and she will not drink it warm or cold, only at room temperature. They told us this is the best temperature during our birthing classes. Those babies who have only been given warm milk will tend to refuse it if at any other temperature so you could be creating more issues if you go down that path. You are the mother and your family should respect any decision YOU make regarding how your baby is to be fed.

Itsamystery - posted on 04/02/2009

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Hmm, interesting problem. I'd speak to your fiance about it. Warm milk is what babies prefer. It's not harmful to give them cold milk, but baby might not like it and refuse to drink it, in which case they'll soon understand that warm milk is better! And, if baby doesn't have a problem drinking it cold, I wouldn't worry about it too much unless you feel really strongly about it.

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