The No-Cry Sleep Solution - does it really work? I tried Phase One for the first time last night and got less sleep than ever!

Katy - posted on 01/29/2009 ( 38 moms have responded )

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If it worked for you, how long did it take? I am sleep-deprived and afraid to go another night laying my baby down barely awake EIGHT times in a row until it works! I did this every 2 hours. He cried every time I laid him down and also when I picked him up to rock him again... and she also suggests doing this without the pacifier????? I need encouragement!

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Emily - posted on 02/04/2009

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First of all, I only charted one night... just enough to get an idea of what we needed to work on. And I didn't get that Pantley stressed them being awake when you put them down. As I understood it, and as I practiced it... you go through the routine and help them get to sleep, then gradually leave them more and more awake... over a period of several weeks. And even then, if it works for you, you can continue to stay with them until they fall asleep. Using Pantley's method and tips, my kids have learned to self-soothe in the middle of the night pretty quickly, but we still cuddle or nurse to sleep because we enjoy it. Also, my 13 month old sleeps on a crib mattress on the floor in our room and we only have one gate in the house at the top of the stairs... if I were to leave her completely awake, she'd just get up and walk out of the room... so I leave her mostly groggy, or I just stay and cuddle/nurse her until she's asleep. This works great for us and she's sleeping really well at night (when her teething molars aren't bothering her) so I see no reason to change it at this point.

I think the main point of Pantley's is to create a good consistent routine that works for you, that becomes the signal for sleep for your child, and the routine itself helps them settle down to sleep, with or without you.

I think the other important thing to remember about Pantley's book is that she gives a ton of suggestions... not so that you have to use everything, but so you can find something that works for your family. She says repeatedly in the book to find what works and don't worry about what doesn't work. For example... bath time is often a great start for the bedtime routine...but not in our house. Our kids LOVE bath time and it becomes a scream/splash fest with everyone getting soaked (including me) and the bathroom being left in total ruin... this is not a good way to help my kids settle down for bedtime, so we do our baths in the morning, or before dinner, or just after an early dinner.

Emily - posted on 02/02/2009

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I LOVE the No-Cry Sleep Solution. It's seriously my favorite book on baby sleep habits and it has done wonders for all three of my kids. It is not an overnight solution, but I think it's a much more lasting method. And I love that Elizabeth Pantley makes sure to note other things that could be disrupting sleep such as teething, developmental milestones, earaches, etc.

I have heard from many of my friends that it is not the best method if you have a high-needs baby. For that, it's best to read "The Fussy Baby Book" by Dr. Sears and another of his books, "The Baby Sleep Book."

I HATE Cry-it-out methods. We tried them briefly with our oldest when she was a year old... she screamed for 45 minutes straight (whether I was there or not), then threw up, then fell asleep standing up in her crib. For the next week she screamed any time we walked into her bedroom. Elizabeth Pantley's book was a lifesaver. Since our older two girls are only 12 months apart we were dealing with two babies sleep issues at the same time, and found her advice invaluable.

Also, one word of warning... I don't know how old your baby is... but La Leche League strongly discourages the use of BabyWise for breastfeeding mothers. It's methods have been linked to many health issues for baby and mother, including failure to thrive (mostly for younger babies), dehydration, low milk supply and others. I know there are good things in that book that mothers have found helpful... just be careful.

Catlin - posted on 06/17/2010

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we're kind of using it right now. We co sleep with our daughter so it was mainly to get her to sleep longer stretches at night. It's worked wonderfully since we understood from the beginning that babies sleep differently than adults. Also we figured out how long her naps SHOULD be (1 1/2 to 2 hours a piece instead of her 45 minute power naps) and started making napping a priority, and she sleeps 8 hours at a time at night now, then wakes up to nurse then back to sleep for a couple hours!

I takes a lot of patience and very little sleep the first couple weeks, but it's definitely worth it.
( Pretty soon, we're going to start using the suggestions for getting her to sleep in her crib. But I don't foresee there being any problems, as long as we're patient.)

Lori - posted on 03/23/2013

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Kristina - If you have specific questions about this or other issues, I'd suggest starting a new thread. This thread was started in 2009. It will be locked soon.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

38 Comments

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Kristina - posted on 03/23/2013

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ooh.. it's a dead forum!!!! someone at circle of moms.. can you jump in and help!

Kristina - posted on 03/22/2013

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what is the (no-cry sleep solution) technique exactly? I tried to read Pantley's website [http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0...] but she's just praising her self without giving any direction on how she's going to help us the parents. Would someone who has/read the book highlight the major points of her technique. Much appreciated.

Marites - posted on 06/16/2010

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"I don't know what the no-cry sleep solution is, could you explain what it is?"

Yes i also wanted to know about the technique on no-cry sleep baby solution. Can somebody help me. thanks.

Terri - posted on 02/04/2009

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I does work, but it takes a while. You will get less sleep in the beginning but it is worth it in the end, Good luck!

Rachel - posted on 02/04/2009

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Quoting Sophie:



Did anybody else doing the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' find it too labour intensive?? I know it's not a quick and easy process getting babies into a routine/sleeping through the night sometimes but the book had umpteen different charts which you had to fill in at various times and with all manner of info on them...






Can anyone tell me how awake baby has to be when you put them down for it to be effective??  Sometimes she is wide awake and it takes 10-15 minutes for her to fall asleep and others she just opens her eyes and has a quick look around before dropping back to sleep after burping/nursing - is this enough??





I tried the No Cry Sleep Solution but I was so exhausted that I couldn't do everything she said to do--I think I made it 3 nights with the charting...what we ended up doing when he was 6 months was a modified Weisbluth (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) where I would put him down and my husband would check in on him every half hour. It ended up taking one night of 40 minutes, 1 of 10, and then he was good--either going right to sleep or fussing for under a minute.



I think one place where Pantley has it not-so-right is the idea that they have to be awake when you put them down.  We have our routine, ending in nursing, and then I lay him in his crib whether he's asleep, half-asleep, or just sleeply but awake.



I really appreciated Pantley's attitude and am disappointed that it ended up being too much for me--but I think inconsistency is the worst thing and I'm so grateful we finally got him sleeping.  He really likes bedtime now.

Amy - posted on 02/04/2009

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I haven't read any book but folowed a similar technique following advice from Jack's health visitor. Prior to this Jack did not sleep during the day unless he was attached to the breast and he always went into his cot having fell asleep on the breat at night. I was told to concentrate on night sleep first then tackle day sleep once I had established a routine for night. It took 3 days of crying it out for approx 5-10minutes, now Jack goes to bed awake each night at 7pm and settles himself without any crying usually within 10minutes. I have also found that if he wakes during the night he is now able to settle himself back to sleep, which is amazing! As Jack never took to a dummy I used a comfort blanket, I have found it works brilliant, I give it to him as I put him to bed and he rubs it against his face until he drops off. The only down side to this is trying to prize it away once he has fallen asleep! Jack also now has 2 naps during the day, again he goes into bed with his comfort blanket awake and drops off himself. This has made a massive difference to me, and we are both much happier. Gd Luck :-))

Sophie - posted on 02/04/2009

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Did anybody else doing the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' find it too labour intensive?? I know it's not a quick and easy process getting babies into a routine/sleeping through the night sometimes but the book had umpteen different charts which you had to fill in at various times and with all manner of info on them...



Can anyone tell me how awake baby has to be when you put them down for it to be effective??  Sometimes she is wide awake and it takes 10-15 minutes for her to fall asleep and others she just opens her eyes and has a quick look around before dropping back to sleep after burping/nursing - is this enough??

Carolyn - posted on 02/04/2009

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I recommend the book "Three in a Bed" by Deborah Jackson. Even if you never intend to co-sleep with your child (but something to consider especially if you're breastfeeding), it gives another perspective to the whole Dr. Ferber, cry-it-out, sleep training "methods" that are so popular these days.

Whatever you do, please do what is best for you and your family, regardless of what any "expert" tells you. :) Good luck and sweet dreams!

Emily - posted on 02/03/2009

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Everyone wakes every couple of hours... we just normally roll over and go back to sleep. If your son is going to sleep by himself, but still needs you every couple of hours during the night, then he still needs something. Teething, growth spurts, developmental milestones and any other physical discomfort could be keeping him from sleeping longer stretches. Do your best to eliminate any physical cause of his night wakings... but you may just have to wait out growth spurts and developmental milestones. As long as he's learning to fall asleep without you with him, he'll sleep longer stretches when he is ready.

Katy - posted on 02/03/2009

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I also love that book!  I am wondering, though, what to do when we've been trying it for a while and although he's crying for less time, he still wakes up every 2 hours!  Also he still naps for only 30 min at a time.  I wish Dr. Weissbluth had included a "troubleshooting" section for problems like these!

Amber - posted on 02/03/2009

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Dr. Weissbluth's book is called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and it is fantastic! We started this when my son was 8 weeks old though we had been working to establish a routine for several weeks. (The doctor said it was ok to let him cry for a while at that point). My son is now 8 months old and goes to bed most nights happily. If he does cry it's because we waited too long to put him to bed and he is over tired. He goes down between 6:30 - 7 pm and my husband and get the rest of the evening to ourselves. Keep in mind it's not just about whether they cry or not it's about learning to read their needs and teaching them to go to sleep.

Katy - posted on 02/03/2009

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I am only using cry-it-out at night... I still rock tosleep for all naps!  I hope that this isn't setting us back.  I just figured one step at a time!



 



Thanks for all the support, I will let you know how it goes!

Misty - posted on 02/03/2009

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I have done this with all 3 of my kiddos. From experience, it is much easier to try when they are 4-5 months old than it is the older they become. Who says don't use a pacifier??? My son (my 3rd baby) is the only one of mine that has used a paccy, and it is a lifesaver! It is their comfort in times of insecurity like sleep training. I suggest not rocking him to sleep after you go in to calm him, that just encourages him to cry until he gets what he wants. I know this is a terrible time for you, but stay strong and hold your ground. My son is almost 2, and since I did this at 5 mos of age, all I do at night and naptime is take him to his bed, WITH HIS PACCY! and his blankie, and tell him it is time to go to sleep. He whines sometimes,but he knows what to do. At first, start with little steps. Start when he is not so sleepy he is grouchy, when it is time for sleep, take him to his room, lay him down, and maybe play some relaxing music in a cd player. I have also done this with all 3 of mine. He will cry, wait 5 mins, then go reassure him, start all over again. Next, wait 8 mins. then 10 mins, etc. Don't let him see you outside of his room... he will cry harder. Each time, get a little farther away. When you start to hear longer pauses in the cries, it is working!!! don't make yourself feel guilty, I did with my first and I made myself miserable. Let me know how it is working, it may take a few nights to see progress, it is worth every minute!!! If he is a pacifier baby, don't take it away! He's not gonna go to college with it!!! Good luck!

Lauren - posted on 02/03/2009

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I am going through the same thing with my 5 month old.  I just finished reading Dr. Weissbluth's book and am going to read Ferber's next.  I am going to the doctor next week for 6 month check-up and want to get her opinion as well.  There is another community in circle of moms that was just formed about using Ferber's method.  I joined that and one mom gave a very detailed example of how to use it.   As long as my doctor agrees or doesn't have a better idea I plan to let her cry.   I am trying to prepare myself for it. 



Most of our trouble is with naps.  She will only nap if I hold her and now has begin fighting taking them.  Lately, she has also been waking up during the night - which she never did before. 



 

Emily - posted on 02/03/2009

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My kids don't ever show any teething discomfort during the day... they only show signs at night. And if there's anything else bothering him (too hot, too cold, etc) even tylenol won't help with some of that stuff. I learned with my third that she hated to be bundled up while she was actually sleeping. I had to swaddle her to help her fall asleep... but then I had to go back into her room 10-15 minutes later and unswaddle her... otherwise she would wake up sweating and take forever to get back to sleep.

Katy - posted on 02/03/2009

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He's 5 months old.  He DID just cut his first tooth, but he's not uncomfortable at all during the day.  I also tried giving him tylenol one night to see if he would sleep more and it didn't change anything so I figure it has nothing to do with pain. 



 



Maybe his age has something to do with how long this is taking to work?  I guess I thought it would start to help him sleep longer in the first 4 days or so.  He also only naps for 30 min at a time, so I know he's not getting ANY quality sleep time in right now.

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Quoting Katy:



thanks for all of the support and comments!  I ended up ditching the No-Sleep Solution (it just didn't seem right to be nursing him every 2 hours when 3 weeks ago he slept for 7 hours at a time) and going to Cry-It-Out.  I'm using a combo of Dr. Weisbluth and Ferber and he's still up every 2 hours a week later, but each night gets back to sleep faster.  I wonder when he's supposed to start sleeping for longer periods? 





You will get there! I know it's rough going, but the pay off is worth it (just my opinion based on a similar strategy)!



Also, how old is you son? I think the age you start this makes a big difference in how long it takes.

[deleted account]

We did Ferber + paci and it worked great. This method doesn't work if you co-sleep, though.



I am sure any methodical approach you feel comfortable with will work. I find that in sleep matters your best bet is to seek out advice from people with a similar philosophy of parenting to yours because there are a lot of people with such strong opinions about sleep issues that they will try to convince you that your child will be damaged for life if you do it differently from them. Tune out the noise, and listen to what feels right for your family! Good luck!

Emily - posted on 02/03/2009

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Make sure he's not teething. My babies slept beautifully 7-9 hours at a time until teeth started coming in... Anything that could make him uncomfortable could be keeping him awake. Make sure you address all physical needs before making him cry. He still needs to know that he can trust you to help him when he's not feeling good.

Katy - posted on 02/03/2009

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thanks for all of the support and comments!  I ended up ditching the No-Sleep Solution (it just didn't seem right to be nursing him every 2 hours when 3 weeks ago he slept for 7 hours at a time) and going to Cry-It-Out.  I'm using a combo of Dr. Weisbluth and Ferber and he's still up every 2 hours a week later, but each night gets back to sleep faster.  I wonder when he's supposed to start sleeping for longer periods? 

Erin - posted on 02/03/2009

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I also did the cry it out approach.  I am not really sure what the no-cry sleep book is.  I am a strong believer in you know what is best for your child.  As the mom, you need to follow your gut instincts.  There are so many different approaches to how to raise/help your child and you need to go with what works best for your family.  On that note, my daughter would not sleep at all.  She did not nap or sleep at night for more than two hours.  I was very frustrated because my son (almost 4) was a wonderful sleeper and I never had to "train" him to sleep.  I did not know what to do with my daughter.  I did a lot of research and spoke with her doctor.  Everyone suggested letting her crying it out.  It was very hard for me to let her cry.  But I knew she needed to sleep and so did I.  After two days of letting her cry, she now sleeps.  She takes two naps during the day and sleeps from 7 pm to 7 am.  I started with getting her to take naps.  Once she was able to take naps during the day, I cut the night time feeding so she would sleep through the night.  As I said before, this is what works for me and may not be the right approach for you and your family.  

Alison - posted on 02/03/2009

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ive just bought the book....now i just need the baby to sleep long enough to read it ;-)

In reference to the cry it out methods, i tried it with my eldest andit worked, but at a price. He cried (as did i ) for 6 whole hours before sleeping(he was 13 mths old and waking every hour!!) The next night he cried for 3 hours. He has slept through the night since. But the change during the day was awful, he was clingy and frightened. Hed previously been happy go lucky. It took 2 nights to get him to sleep through the night, but many weeks to rebuild the trust he had in me. Ive never forgiven myself for doing that to him. At the time it was what was recommended to me by my doctor and midwife. I was made to feel weak for allowing my child to still be waking in the night at a year old. In fact they had been recommending that i let himcry from 16 weeks old. I dread to think what damage would have been inflicted on him psychologicaly if id done it so young.

My second child was a dream. She slept from day one. Put her in her cot at 8,she woke at 1am nursed and went straight back in her cot till 5am. I did nothing differently with her!!!! Some babies are good sleepers some arent.



No 3 has now arrived and shes so like my eldest. Hence the book!!!

Emily - posted on 02/02/2009

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And, yes... eventually you should be helping your son learn to fall asleep without the pacifier... but to start with, you should focus on putting him down just barely awake... however you can so that he will fall asleep quickly. It's okay to use the pacifier in the beginning. Then once he's falling asleep without you (but with the pacifier), you use the "Pantley-Pull-Off" method she describes for breastfeeding moms, and gradually start taking the pacifier away as he's more and more awake.

And for Devonie - check out Pantley's "No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers" when you're ready to move your baby out of your bed. She's got some great tips for weaning from co-sleeping. That said... we still co-sleep every night with our 13 month old, and allow our 3 1/2 and 2 1/2 year olds in our bed any time they need (though currently only one of them is coming in a few times a week... they mostly stay in their own beds now). We do this because it works for us and we enjoy it. :) When we get to the point where we are not enjoying our sleep arrangement, or it is no longer the best way for everyone to sleep... then we change it. :)

User - posted on 02/02/2009

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I didn't find much in the No-Cry Sleep Solution that I didn't try before reading it. No luck. I tried Cry-It-Out (well, graduated extinction), but my son screamed harder every time I went in to comfort him and wouldn't pick him up - then he'd puke. A few months ago, we started co-sleeping with the baby so that we could all sleep better at night. It works for us, but I don't want it to last for years, so I'm now reading Dr. Weissbluth's book (can't think of the name) and we'll see what he has to say...

I also heard the same negative things about BabyWise. I had a copy and threw it in the garbage.

Amy - posted on 02/02/2009

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I agree. I have recently started reading BabyWise. It really makes since. As I am reading it I am using. Just starting but I can really tell a difference. I know 3 other new moms that have read the entire book and it has saved there sanity. A daily and nightly routine is very very helpful. I know what is next to plan my time and so does my 5 month old. Definitely recommend the book!!!! And my daughter has been doing a lot better about sleeping through the nights.

Daiqiri - posted on 02/02/2009

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You could read baby wise so many mothers suggested this to me and it helped me in so many ways. I did not follow exactly but took it and made it mine.  That is all you should do with the advise people give you. YOu have a different baby and you are different too.  So take some thing that you feel comfortable with and do it your way.

Meredith - posted on 01/29/2009

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Oh, I should also add that Dr. Ferber recommends doing it without the pacifier as well, but my babies (6 month old twins) still use it.  I couldn't bear to take it away from them!

Meredith - posted on 01/29/2009

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I used Dr. Ferber's progressive waiting approach.  It took a few days (and nights), but now they can go down awake and put themselves to sleep.  Granted, they still wake up on occasion during the night, but I'm no longer feeding them each time, and they are usually back to sleep in less than 15 minutes when that happens.

Daiqiri - posted on 01/29/2009

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Ok so i dont believe the no cry solution is the best way becasue they get used to you rocking them or what ever. They will get so used to it that, that is the only way they can go to sleep.  This was extremely hard at first but it trully saved my sleep!lol I had to allow her to cry! You are probly think ing that is crazy here me out. The doctor said that it take a baby 3 days to get used to a routine and a routine is good to give the baby confidence in their world.  The doctor also said it is good for a baby to cry.  Granted it is hard for us to hear our lil one cry but when we have fed them, chaged their diaper and it is just time for their nap it is ok. The doctor told me to set an alarm for myself for 20 min after i laid her down and just wait. She even suggested to step outside if i need to not to far just far enough so you can not hear her.  Well in the three days of doing that it worked and now she is 15 months old and anytime i lay her down she goes right to sleep.  It trully saved me.  At the age of 4 months she was sleeping by herself and through the night.  Make sure you have a routine because this can help with the crying when they know when they will be fed and take  naps calms them more and they are less likely to cry through the day. I hope this helps!

Trina - posted on 01/29/2009

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I don't know what the no-cry sleep soloution is, could you explain what it is?



My little one hates the pacifier, and I tried every kind out there. He prefers nothing but the breast. We're co-sleeping so we're getting quite a bit of rest. I find personally that it works better for us, rather than getting up every 1-2 hours.

Lisa - posted on 01/29/2009

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Quoting Lisa:



I can't offer anything but support, I will eventually be going through the same thing!  I am glad you asked this, and look forward to hearing the suggestions...






Maybe this will help, though.  Just yesterday I started wrapping my 5 month old in my robe for his naps and he is sleeping more soundly.





let me ammend this, he is sleeping more soundly during the DAY.  Last night we got no more than a hour's sleep at a time!!

Lisa - posted on 01/29/2009

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I can't offer anything but support, I will eventually be going through the same thing!  I am glad you asked this, and look forward to hearing the suggestions...



Maybe this will help, though.  Just yesterday I started wrapping my 5 month old in my robe for his naps and he is sleeping more soundly.

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