Time to end the BF vs FF battle

Briana - posted on 12/19/2010 ( 78 moms have responded )

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Wow....I think this says it all :)


I am REALLY tired of the battle breastfeeding vs formula. Why can't each person just accept that the child is being FED?!? Why does it have to be one is better than the other? Why do we have to put women down and tell them they aren't doing what's best for their child if they formula feed? Why do we have to tell breastfeeding women they're disgusting and shouldn't nurse in public, even if covered? Why do I get NASTY looks when I breastfeed in public even though I'm covered from my chin and not lifting my shirt to show skin, but got the same looks during the first 3 weeks when I'd bottle feed when he'd take a bottle (and the bottle was ALL 100% breastmilk!)? Why do breastfeeding nazi's tell women formula is "harmful" to scare them into breastfeeding? Why do formula feeding nazi's make breastfeeding seem like it's a "sexual" thing? Why do breastfeeding nazi's tell formula feeding mother's they'll never bond with their baby (this saddens me the most because it's the biggest effing lie I've ever heard I bonded with my son the second I held him and he didn't breastfeed til he was 3 weeks old)? We ALL make choices as parents and we make the best choice we can for our own children!! We NEED to stop bringing each other down for the choices we make as parents and support one another instead! Some children don't even get fed and starve to death :( And we're bickering about the fact that our kid's are being fed...and BOTH are fine and healthy!!!!!! Just because a mom FF doesn't mean she didn't do her research!! Just because you see a woman whip out a bottle and formula doesn't mean she is doing her child wrong!! Just because a woman whips out a boob doesn't mean she's exposing herself and for people to look at her! We are ALL only feeding our children and it's sad that we have to tell each other that we're wrong in doing that. It's sad that is women, we can't bond and support one another through the stages of parenthood and instead nit pick at what the other one puts into their child's belly. Breast is best....the formula cans say so. But there are MILLIONS of thriving adults, children, and babies who are perfectly and totally healthy that were formula fed. And there are soooo many children who have medical problems and were breastfed. We need to STOP nit picking at one another for someone's choices. You are NOT a better mother because you breast fed. You are NOT a better mother because you formula fed and didn't "let your child suck on your boob". It's no one's place to judge how someone feed's their child. Do what YOU think is best for yours and keep your nose out of everyone else's business! Stick to what YOU know, and let everyone else alone.

Btw I EBF ;)

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Jodi - posted on 12/20/2010

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See, I agree to a point. We shouldn't judge or belittle or name call FF mothers OR BF mothers. But everyone needs to be better educated about the issue. Formula does carry very real health risks and is in fact inferior to breast milk. We don't shield the fact that smoking causes cancer, heart attacks, strokes etc etc for fear of offending someone or for fear that that someone might feel judged, we don't shield people from the truth that not wearing a seatbelt is dangerous to your life, or that eating McDonald's everyday is increasing your risk of heart attack and stroke...only with formula do we shy away from the facts and the truth in fear of offending someone or hurting their feelings. Only with formula do we withold the truth, the facts and education from the general public, from mothers and fathers and aunts and uncles and grandpas and grandmas...an education that should not offend anyone, can only be of benefit no matter which option they choose. Until the information is out there, splashed everywhere in everyone's minds (much like everyone knows smoking is bad for your health, it's just common knowledge) then this battle will ensue between BF mothers and FF mothers.

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Hmmm... There are kind of two sides to the whole thing. Seeing that breastfeeding is such a misunderstood minority practice, I do think it's important to actively normalise it in our society - by nursing in public and by talking about it. And that should include being able to say it as it is (although I do tend to shy away from that), which is that formula does bear risks, if it suits us or not. But yes, you are right, I don't like that whole making other mom's feel bad about anything either. After all, I'm getting a lot of that myself. Extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, not using that stupid pram - really, I'm an easy target. So I treat others the way I'd like to be treated. But it's hard. Sometimes, when I get another smug 'Well, she cried for two weeks, but now she is sleeping through the night - you just have to toughen up a little...' I just want to yell back a super-judgemental 'No thanks - I don't want to damage my child's emotional well-being for a few pathetic hours of sleep!'. But I don't, because I don't want to stoop down to that level. So here's the problem: how do you promote and normalise breastfeeding without making anyone feel bad? Because that's the one thing where I think you are wrong: I don't think many formula feeding moms are well informed about the issue, and those of us who are breastfeeding, particularly those doing it for longer than one year, will never get out of the strange-hippy-corner, if we don't spread the word (not gospel, just word). Hmmm...

Didi - posted on 12/20/2010

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but nursing your child is BEST. You cannot compare formula to breast milk; it would be like comparing a prosthetic leg to a real leg. Name calling is just plain mean spirited, but lets not look past the facts here. As a species, we have come a long way due in large part to our ability to eat a wide variety of foods that our body can extract the good stuff. A child can eat junk food and live but are they thriving? What we should do is make human milk more available to babies who need it.

Emily - posted on 12/22/2010

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Sure, feeding formula is better than starving your child. But let's not lie here... breastmilk IS better than formula. Does that make breastfeeding moms better than formula feeding moms? NO. But if we're being absolutely truthful here, one choice is clearly better than the other. That is not to put people down, it's just the truth. Most of the time moms choose formula because it's what's best for them, not what's best for their baby. For 99.9% of babies, breastmilk IS what's best.

Emily - posted on 12/20/2010

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I agree with Jodi. There is no need to be rude or disrespectful. However, it's the plain and simple truth that breastmilk is better than formula. Sometimes when people point that out, people unfortunately take offense to it, when it is not intended that way. When people say "breastmilk is superior to formula" people need to just leave it at that. It does not mean that breastfeeding moms are better or love their child any greater than FF moms. It just means that breastfeeding provides the better nutrition. And yes, there are potential risks with formula feeding. To ignore that is being dishonest.

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Lauren - posted on 01/26/2011

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I think this thread has long since died out and I probably shouldn't belabor it, but I do have one thing to add. As a family physician who practices both obstetrics and pediatrics, it is very important to me that every single woman attempt breastfeeding, and we all owe it to ourselves and our children to encourage other women to do so. That being said, the time for that encouragement is while women are pregnant or considering pregnancy. When we know new mom's are trying to breastfeed, we should reach out and be as warm and supporting as we can, as many women sadly don't have the support they need if the feeding isn't going smoothly and not all of us health professionals are very good at offering help or remembering that there are great risks to formula when it is not medically indicated. That being said, by the time a woman is formula feeding, the decision is made. You can not go back and start breastfeeding. So the simple solution is this, do not judge a woman however you see her feed her child, but jump on every oppertunity to educate and encourage and support so that every new baby who arrives has the best chance of being breastfed or bottle fed human donor-milk. Formula will always be around and is a wonderful invention, as a supplement to breast milk, and to keep breastfeeding available to women with insufficient supplies or illnesses that temporarily make breastfeeding impossible. It should not, however, be considered an equal and acceptable way to feed children. I have worked full time and still breastfed with no formula for 11 months and counting, and have been very lucky to have a wonderful support system both at work and at home to allow it. We should all work together (as the surgeon general has suggested) to help create such an environment for all women. You should not need to stop breastfeeding to return to work, and over time, I hope that we will be able to make the environment such that breastfeeding will be welcome anywhere.

And that's to everyone for their very passionate posts. It was a very nice read for me this evening.

Merry - posted on 01/09/2011

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Co sleeping is only a risk if you do it wrong. When practiced properly, bed sharing is much safer for the baby then crib sleeping.

if mom needs chemotherapy or something similar then yeah formula is better for her baby then 'her' milk. But donated human milk would be still healthier then formula.

The only babies who actually are better off on formula are babies who have galactosemia, and these babies are rare!

Unfortunately banked donated milk is expensive, and finding moms willing to donate priviately is hard, but not impossible!

Sasher - posted on 01/09/2011

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After reading a little more, i giggled a bit, those BF mums who judge FF mums for 'putting their baby at risk' are defending the fact that they put their own babies at risk by co-sleeping.... I have my opinions on the matter, when my son was young i would co-sleep but since 3 months he has slept in his cot from around 8pm-10am (love it!) so yes i endangered my son by co-sleeping, just as i put him at risk by FF but these are my choices, i understand the risks but have chosen what is best for my family. Also for those of you arguing we should choose best for baby, dont forget you need to focus on mummy too because without mummy then baby would struggle... so if a mummy needs to FF in order to be able to look after baby then surely thats best for baby all round? Again, just to make sure, i agree that Breast is Best, despite what society seems to believe but i pass no judgement on FF or BF mothers, i am proud of both... BF for standing by and showing first-time mums like me that it is possible and helping us understand that regardless of how people judge you especially in public that BF is perfectly normal and in fact the most natural and healthy way to feed your baby.... FF mothers, i am proud because you show mothers like me that even though BF didnt work out or for whatever reason was not possible, that their is a way for you to still be there for your baby and you are doing the best to your ability and so what if we regret it? the decision must have been what was best at the time otherwise you wouldnt have made it

Every mother should know that if a mother didnt think something was best for baby then she wouldn't do it... How many mother here would put her baby in danger purposely??? I know i wouldn't.

Minnie - posted on 01/09/2011

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Thank you, Laura, for clarifying the AAP stance on co-sleeping. Their policy statement on cosleeping and SIDS is a little confusing to many people and one really has to read into it to understand where they're coming from. A key phrase in the statement is cosleeping "as practiced in western countries." This is so important to consider because, like Laura mentioned, many parents in western cultures have lifestyles that are NOT compatible with safe cosleeping. It is not that cosleeping is dangerous (it is how humans have always slept with their infants, after all) but that people in western cultures have moved away from what nature intended.



It might also be helpful for parents considering this statement to be aware that the SIDS and cosleeping statement was formulated in conjunction with the First Candle organization, which is 100% anti-cosleeping and receives funds from all sorts of infant furntiture and gear manufacturers, who do not benefit from parents not purchasing cribs or pacifiers.

Sasher - posted on 01/09/2011

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After only reading the first few posts on here i already feel that the intention of the creator has been totally destroyed...

When my son was born i was 100% set on BF, my son refused to feed so after about 48 hours of him eating next to nothing i decided to express, time consuming but it was worth the effort knowing my son was getting the best i could give him. However, soon enough i could not express enough to feed him, he would cry every 30 mins for his feeds, i could manage to only get a couple of oz ready for him within this time, he still refused my actual breast, then in turn began refusing my milk, i HAD to FF. I would rather FF than watch my son starve. I HATE being judged for what i feed my son, no one cares to listen as to why he is FF and not BF.



One thing that really annoyed me when i had my son was that they separated BF and FF mothers... know this is for their reasons so they knew which babies to feed bottles and which to encourage mothers to BF.

The honourable thing of my hospital was they attempted to get every woman to BF for the first feed, giving them as much info about both feeding methods in the process and then after they would ask the mother if they knew which one they wanted to do, i never got either pushed upon me and was praised for my decision to BF as its best but also praised for turning to my back-up FF when my son wasnt getting enough.

When i have my next child i will be trying my hardest to BF.



Not every woman can BF for 1 reason or another, we should not judge each-other, we get enough judgement from everyone else... we should be supporting each-other, sharing experiences and making sure we're all coping.

Suzanne - posted on 01/05/2011

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Very few people trust" opinions" and when we have the facts we can come across as" extremely opinionated" instead of a great resource. If we all walked around in a white coat and said" I'm a doctor" then we could get away with any opinion we had WITHOUT Facts and people would listen. The best thing I do is help people think (don't take my word or a doctor's word as full truth)..whatever conclusion ....is up to them. If someone is open to facts then they will begin to journey down the right path. It may take awhile--always be a friend first

Jayde - posted on 01/03/2011

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Well said Briana.. We should just be happy that the CHILD IS BEING FED not every mother can BF so what if a mother chooses formula who cares just purely support her. My first child was formula fed and there is nothing wrong with her when she turned 6 mths she ate vegies and fruit plenty of it and still does. My secind child is still BFeeding now she is 12 mths there is no difference between them they r both healthy children. I wanted to bf my first but it didnt work out that way but she was still fed so whatever way a a mum chooses to feed her child that is great and u can still bond when u bottlefeed i loved looking into my 1st daughters eyes when a i gave her a bottle it was so cute. Just lets support mothers on whatever way they choose to feed

Tine - posted on 01/01/2011

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Wow, I guess the mother who wrote this has had some awful experiences and I really feel for her. Certainly it helps no-one if mothers are harsh and judemental of each other, rather than loving and supportive, and it should not be a battle. I admire mothers who persevere through difficulties to breastfeed, and know that bottle feeding EBM is common and helpful for many many people.

For me, personally, the thing is, like most choices, that it be informed. No-one should be feeling guilty, or pressured, but I disagree that the information about breastmilk being normal and best for babies shouldnot be out there in case it offends formula feeding mothers.

If the choice to formula feed is made out of necessity then it should definately be supported. I guess the problem is that it is not always the case, and if it is being made because formula companies have successfully pushed thier product onto mothers who are not informed and not so able to get the support needed to breastfeed successfully then it is not a good choice. In reality the vast majority of mothers could breastfeed given proper support and information, so I really think that as a society we owe an obligation to support mums in this, and to equally support mums in whatever permutation of feeding choice they have made for thier child, as long as those choices are informed and not the result of advertising by multinationals who have VAST profits to be made from selling formula...

Our society is based on competition and profits, and perhaps this is at the root of our issues...

Darian - posted on 12/31/2010

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AGREED :) I EBF2 but I don't look down on mothers who formula feed, i was partially formula fed.. I think women need to encourage and empower eachother. Not talk down one another. I think the mother always knows what is best for her child and that means coming up with a feeding plan.. Its what best suits the child and the mother.

Vanessa - posted on 12/31/2010

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Well I can't speak for other co-sleeping moms, but er own a crib and a playpen. So my little guy starts out most nights in his crib, sleeping soundly starting around 8pm (that's when our other 2 are tucked in for the night too) so between 8-12 I have me or me and hubby time ;) wink, wink. Baby nurses around midnight, thankfully he doesn't fully wake, so I just tuck away in bed with him, nurse lying down, and baby drifts off again until about 7am just in time for the morning rush of getting his big bro and big sis ready for school. So I get just enough me time to not go completely insane. Of course if he has sniffles or other child is sick, me time goes out the door!

[deleted account]

Meagan: I was actually referring to the cry-it-out or not debate, but as far as co-sleeping goes, you can actually make it safe by eliminating all the risk-factors (see James McKenna's 'Sleeping with your baby'). I agree though, it all comes down to weighing up the pros and cons and making the right choice for you. My partner smokes. Not heavily, never inside the house, the car or around the baby, but either way it is a risk factor when co-sleeping. Really hope he'll kick the habit by the time number two comes along...
Katie: My daughter is the worst sleeper on the planet! If I wasn't co-sleeping, there'll be NO quality me/us time whatsoever! Mind, she is my only child so far, so maybe by the time there are a few more clinging to my leg all day I'll feel different about it. I think sleep-arrangements have to work for each individual family. You can't make yourself feel comfortable with having your baby in your bed, and you shouldn't have to force yourself having her sleep alone either. Just don't forget to give hubby a few extra cuddles here and there...

Meagan - posted on 12/31/2010

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Totally agree Katie! I was bringing our newborn to bed every night at first. He's 3 weeks old now and on a bedtime routine and that helps him sleep for longer stretches. In the wee hours of the morning tho, I've been bringing him to bed with me. Those are the hardest feedings to get up for :/. Hubby goes to the couch when I bring the baby in and for a while there I was really missing him :(

Katie - posted on 12/31/2010

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My last baby slept with us for the first couple of weeks and it made me so nervous but it's the only way I could get any sleep! I have 2 other children so night time sleep was an absolute necessity! He has been sleeping in his crib since he was about a month old and he wakes up maybe once a night now (he's 7 months old) all he needed was a routine at night! Anyway, I was curious how you Mom's who co sleep get any time to yourself or time with your husband? When do you send your child to their own bed and is it hard? Just wondering because having 3 young children myself I look forward to my" me time" at night and getting a good night sleep! Every mom deserves those things!

Vanessa - posted on 12/31/2010

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Being a chub is not the same as being fine, or much less healthy. "not even trying" in the absence of a compelling reason is just irresponsible.

Cheri - posted on 12/31/2010

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my girlfriend, and to be honest she is pregnant now and because of not producing with her firts she doesnt even care to try to bf with this one. Our babies our only a week apart and they both are chubs so even though my guy was only bf and hers only ff, they both are fine. So really its a personal choice.

Merry - posted on 12/30/2010

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Aap has to weigh all factors involved with their audience, ie, americans often use sleeping pills, smoke, drink, work overtime, have poor beds, have heat on low to save money, use heavy blankets same reason, etc
Americans in general aren't good fits with cosleeping.
In other countries where moms sleep with little or no blankets, on a firm mattress, and have no access to drugs, cigarettes, alcohol etc they have good co sleeping conditions naturally.
And weirdlyenough, those cultures really don't have SIDS. But yeah, Aap has to speak for this country and try to suggest best methods for the country as a whole.

Sorry,still off topic!

Meagan - posted on 12/30/2010

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Laura - I slept with my first for a while from Newborn until he started sleeping through the night. I still had issues with it - but I was able to relax during the day. I can't do that with a 21 month old and a newborn. So my back cinches up pretty bad.

Daniela - I was the one that brought up sleep. Co-sleeping, while incredibly convenient for bf mothers, isn't "best" for baby. It may be beneficial in some ways, but nobody could argue that it is "best". The American Academy of Pediatrics - the same one that says to exclusively bf for the first six months - says not to co-sleep. It is a risk to baby for suffocation. Those of us who choose to co-sleep with baby are weighing the potential risks.

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I second that Laura. By now i can't really relax when Nina is NOT sleeping next to me. By the way, someone related misinformation about breastfeeding to misinformation about sleep. Totally not the same. How to get babies to sleep the 'right' way might also be hottly debated, but there is no real consensus on what's best for baby yet (though I know where I am standing on this one). There IS consensus about breastfeeding though, and the debate here is more about respecting a moms choice. Anyway, slightly side-tracked here, sorry.

Merry - posted on 12/30/2010

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When mom and baby cosleep from birth on, then mom gets the best sleep. Your body and mind has to bein tune to your baby while sleeping so it's quite normal for mom to sleep badly if cosleeping on an impromptu night.
I don't cosleep so I know how hard it is to sleep with Eric in bed with me, but I do plan on cosleeping with my daughter when she is born so I'm looking forward to some more sleep then last time around.

Vanessa - posted on 12/30/2010

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I EBF my 11 month old, (my third) and I sleep so well (and so does baby by the way) thanks to co-sleeping. It has always worked so well for us. If I had to write the "Lazy Mother's Guide to Minimal Work, Especially at Night" the first chapter would be entitled "Nurse Exclusively, Co-Sleep, and Get the Most Rest". I can't even imagine having to get up to heat up a bottle or have my hubby who works hard during the day so I can stay home have to wake out of his sleep to mix formula/heat bottles! I feel so blessed/happy/fulfilled to be able to have this wonderful nursing relationship - again! I didn't expect to have a third, and was content to have extended nursed my daughter and son. This last little "surprise" was truly icing on the cake. I feel I have a better handle on what my priorities should be, I am so much less concerned with "frills" I can truly enjoy the simplicity of nursing my baby boy without the least bit of concern about the less important things. (comes with age I suppose) I wish ALL moms could experience what I have. I know that is not the case, but at least a huge percentage that does not get to experience this kind of nursing relationship are robbed of it due to lack of knowledge and misdirection. No matter how you decide to feed your child, do not be deluded into thinking that FF is in any way shape or form equal or even a close approximation of second best to BF. It just is not. IF after knowing all of the facts and weighing all of your options you decide it is in the best interest of your child to do anything other than BF then I respect that it truly is what was in the best interest of both mom and baby. Unfortunately, the relationship between mom and baby is so dependent one on the other, that if one's needs are sacrificed for the other's both wind up suffering. Bottom line is BF should be the norm, the default feeding method. FF should be left for those few and sparse exceptions when absolutely nothing else will work. That's just my humble opinion. Happy parenting moms.

Tiffany - posted on 12/30/2010

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I don't co-sleep or breastfeed any more, and I get plenty of sleep. The times I have let our daughter in our bed to sleep on my chest when she wasn't feeling well, I wasn't able to sleep.

Merry - posted on 12/30/2010

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Sleep is most definitely a need, the moms who get the most sleep are bf cosleeping moms!

Melysa - posted on 12/30/2010

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i wonder how many of you know someone who is completely incapable of feeding their child, they simply never produced the milk in the first place! i b/f all 5 of my children my first like it seems is common here was only fed for a short time (4 months) and then i dried up due to the bad advice my childhood nurse gave to mix feed my girl! my 3 in the middle never touched a drop (except for one small mouthfull given to my son that was spat out while i was out and my mil had him) they only received breast until they went on to cows milk, my last child had 1 can of formula that was given in combination to breast due to a health concern that meant he needed to have extra nutrition formula combined with breast is what he needed and that is what he got! he still breast fed for months after that can and as soon as i could get him off the formula i did but i do not regret giving him what he needed as due to that formula he had the energy required to fight the infection and he was able to come home from hospital and regain the weight he had lost. while i do agree that breast is best i also agree that for some mothers in some situations formula is best if breast feeding makes a mothers skin crawl then how can that be a good thing for the mother-baby bond if mum feels like a failure because their milk supply is insufficient what is that doing to the bond if a mother never gets any milk in and is made to feel like a villian for feeding her child how is that fare i agree that breast is best (for those who can) but i believe that mothers should be helping each other most of all not making the mothers around them feel like less of a mother because of a decision they made for their child if everyone could live by the old rule ( if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all) and we could all find at least one nice thing to say about one another than maybe there would be alot more happy mummies in the world and we all know that with happy mummies come happy babies!!!!!

Meagan - posted on 12/30/2010

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Sleep, time for yourself, etc are needs, not wants - especially when you have more than one child to care for. Each mother has to look at her own abilities and ensure her own health and well being for the sake of the safety and well being of her children. A mom and/or child that is tired all the time from the lack of sleep or just lack of quality sleep will end up paying for it somehow. If it means using tools like formula, then you are making the choice to do what is best for your child. If you don't have to make that choice, that's great. I was just saying that the needs of the mother are usually best for baby too.

Tiffany - posted on 12/30/2010

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My first priority always has been and always will be my daughter Amaya. It will never change. I stopped breastfeeding at 3 months. Doesn't mean my daughters needs were still not most important. Do I wish I had kept going? Of course. Was it possible at the time? Maybe. Do I think I made the right choice for my family at that time? Yes. I will do my best to breastfeed our next baby as long as possible, because I am one that believes it is best. But it is not always attainable for everyone who wishes to do it. But regardless if you breastfeed, formula feed or do both I still think we're putting our kiddos first.

Merry - posted on 12/30/2010

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I always say the priorities go like this for me
Erics needs
Hubby's needs
My needs
Erics wants
My wants
Hubby's wants
Housework lol :)
My families needs always come before my needs, and my kids wants come before my wants. Husbands wants, well mine come before that!
So i always think that breastfeeding is a need of my son, so it's top priority even when my wants might say I don't want to. Now the only time my needs precede my families needs is if the thing I need would wreck the family if I don't get it. Like say a necessary surgery, if I needed it but that ment pumping bottles for Eric I'd do that. Because I'm not some martyr or anything, but in general, erics needs always prioritize over my needs. Mostly just because I'm the adult who chose to have a baby. He didn't choose me, or our family, or even to be born so he shouldn't be sacrificing much of his needs.
Helps me stay focused when I start wanting to put my wants first! That's hard to manage but I work towards it.

Meagan - posted on 12/30/2010

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Can we not trust women to have enough sense to do the research on their own? If someone has a question, let them ask - there is no reason to put an undue burden on a new mother. I know what I want for my children and I know what I want for me as their mother. If I am too tired, my milk drops. If I need a quality night's sleep so I can be there for my children the next day, I have no problem giving my newborn a little bit of formula. When he is old enough, I will sleep train and let him cry. (BTW - people talk about not being educated about BF. There is a lot of misinformation out there about sleep training too.) Decisions like these are made by whatever is important to each individual parent. So let's stop demonzing one another, saying "oh, that mother's not doing what's best for her child" - How do you know?? You don't live her life. You don't walk in her shoes! It's not always just about what's best for baby. Sometimes it's about what's best for mom so that she can be an overall better mother.

Jessica - posted on 12/30/2010

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I would have loved to have BF my son as long as I did my daughter but I had different situations that happened. I stressed out over a family situation and before I knew it even with all the help I recieved from experts and doctors that I could not get my ilk back for my son. He was 7 months (Which seems so long ago. He is 9 months now). But he needed nutrition and needed it now! I hated that I had to go to formula but without it my son wouldn't have what he needed. He is doing fine and is healthy as he was when he was breastfeeding. I still am disappointed with myself for not being able to feed him for at minimal a year but what is done is done

Charity - posted on 12/30/2010

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I agree, the battle is dumb. I believe that every chid should be breast fed, BUT, some women cannot, for medical reasons, and some choose not to for personal reasons. So there will never be a time when formula is un-necessary. Lets make sure we have the highest quality formula avaliable for those babies that get it. Also, I over produced alot, for the 1st 6 months I breast fed, and ended up giving away the surpluss (7 gallons) to a researcher, because I could not find a milk bank that would take it. Donations may be great, but hard to do. (They wouldn't take it b/c my husband works on a farm and might stick himself with a needle, which might give me something that might be in the milk...... come on!)

Katie - posted on 12/30/2010

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I am an advocate for both. My first baby wanted nothing to do with breastfeeding, my second had breastmilk and was supplemented at night with formula and my third is solely breastfed. All of my children are healthy, happy and I am close with each of them equally. I do have to say though, I am enjoying the cost of breastfeeding as compared to formula!

Cheri - posted on 12/30/2010

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I personaly think breastfeeding is so important to your child for health purposes, but its not for everyone. Some of my closest girl freinds ff well I bf. And I would never tell them they were doing the wrong thing. Like you said so long as they are eatting. I however, do believe that during the first few weeks of life the breast milk or colistrum(cant spell sorry) is so so so important. So even if one feels uncomfortable with bf, they should atleast try to pump this out and give it to the baby. But in some cases like with my girlfriend this is not possible as she did not produce. It is all a very personal choice and no one should ever make anyone feel bad about their choices. So long as the baby is loved thats all that truly matters.

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You know I have never judged anyone on their decision. I have nursed all 4 of my kids and I tell you by the time they reach 8-9 months I wished I'd formula fed them! They are so easily distracted at that age it makes for a challenge to get the job done. THERE ARE a lot of people out there that don't judge over what you decide to do.
All my friends & family have made decisions on how to feed their newborn. And it's all been based of their lifestyles. I have one friend that would nurse in the beginning but would switch to formula once she went back to work. I don't blame her one bit! I would have too had it been I had to work. Pumping is not always idea for most women. Another friend of mine who has 3 youngins, HAD to quit nursing hers between 6-8 months for various reasons. My sister has 2 she nursed and swears if she ever had another she'd formula feed.
I know it's infuriating to listen to all the garbage from all those judgmental people but it's just a waste of energy to you. Brush it off, roll your eyes and let it go. Regaurdless of how any one decides to feed their little ones the only thing that matters is you love them.

Ginny - posted on 12/30/2010

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Well, all I have to say, is welcome to the world of parenting. Everyone will have an opinion on everything you do, until your own kids grow up to been teenagers and start telling you their opinion about what you have done "to them", what you're currently doing that's wrong and how much they are going to hate what you plan to do in the future! I'm serious - all of us moms have to stick together and support each other's decisions not tear each other apart. The very first chastising I got 22 years ago my son was 3 months old and I was carrying him through a mall with no socks on. His socks kept sliding off his little lizard feet and I'd already made two rounds of sears looking for them so I'd put them in my pocket. An older woman came up to me and chewed me into tears. This continued for me to happen till I was in my mid 30's and at that point I decided I'd had enough, so far no one died from my nutritional decisions, they were relatively happy, smart and near normal. so I don't listen to what other people tell me unless I ask for their opinion first. And I also don't try to shove my own advice down other's throats, most people donm't want it, they simply want a sounding board for their own decision. So I agree with kity - keep it to yourself! Support not bash!
Ginny

Merry - posted on 12/29/2010

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As summarized by IBCLC Diane Wiessinger, the hierarchy is (1) breastfeeding; (2) mother's own milk expressed and given to her child in some other way; (3) milk of another human mother; and (4) artificial milk feed.

Donated human milk is ranked higher then artificial milk.

Tiffany - posted on 12/29/2010

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Thank you for posting this! Unfortunately it is not going to end. I only breastfed for 3 months, and supplemented with formula. I wish I had breastfed exclusively for the 1st year but for my own reasons could not. With our next baby, I will breastfeed exclusively. My daughter is very healthy and thriving, so when I read these awful things some Mom's are saying about those of us who formula fed it really bothers me. Good for you for posting this. It made my day. =)

Britany - posted on 12/29/2010

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Donated milk! Are you crazy?! how can we know that the person the milk is coming from is not drinking booze and eating all the right foods?!...Plus if they ate somthing that upset your childs stomach we wouldnt be able to tell what it was and if it was the milk...

Becky - posted on 12/29/2010

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My first son was BF but only for 3 months because I had to go back to work. My second son has been EBF (8 months and counting). I agree it should be a womn's choice what she feels is best for her baby. Howevere, I can tell you from first hand experience that BF babies ARE healthier! My first son got sick time after time to the point where he was healthy only one week out of a month at times. By the time he was 8 months old he was diagnosed with Asthma. I made it a point with my second one to do everything I could to BF and hoped that what everyone said about it reducing the risks of kids getting sick (including asthma) were true. And you know what? My second son, EBF, is now 8 months old, NEVER had a cold, NEVER been sick, and of course has shown NO signs of asthma.

So to all of the FF women out there, I totally understand and respect your decision. But if your decision to FF was only out of spite, please put all opinions aside consider the facts about BF when it comes to your childs health. They are true.

Rebekah - posted on 12/29/2010

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wait wait, people see breastfeeding as a sexual thing?!?! Ok, this is CRAZY! I don't even get that. HUH!? That's just our culture talking... everything is about sex these days. Of COURSE breastfeeding is now a sexual thing now.. lol! Stupid society. Anyway, I can't imagine how someone would think formula is BETTER for babies than breast milk... that just doesn't even make sense. Breast milk is obviously BETTER but that doesn't mean all moms have to choose it. And we definitely shouldn't make people feel bad or look down on them either way. That's just plain wrong. I was just actually reading on a news website that a country (I can't remember the country right now off the top of my head... sorry, pregnancy brain!:)) just made a law that woman HAVE to breastfeed for at least the first 6 months of life or they will receive a huge fine! They are having such issues with babies being malnourished (and they are formula fed... weird right?) that they are now making it a LAW! Wow! I'm not saying that's what we should be doing here, AT ALL, but I just thought that was interesting.

Sally - posted on 12/29/2010

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Because people milk IS the best thing to feed to a human baby and because fomula IS harmful to most babies.

Briana - posted on 12/29/2010

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Oh don't get me wrong, I agree with you ladies that breastfeeding is obviously the BEST. Like it's been said, even formula can's say so lol.

Vanessa - posted on 12/29/2010

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@Jodi Karshbaum: loved your post, agree wholeheartedly. The Surgeon General should issue a statment about FF same way they do about drinking alcohol while pregnant and smoking. Well said!

Becky - posted on 12/28/2010

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Why do you have to perpetuate the issue you're venting about by referring to any of them as [insert side] nazis? I don't see that as not putting anyone down.. I think its putting EVERYONE down. This is the same song sang by every other mom. Honestly - the only thing that is going to stop it is to stop letting it get to you!



"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"..

Think about it. Who cares what someone else thinks? If you do, you let them win. EVERY time.



Science trumps all. Breastfeeding is best. Breastfeeding will always be best. Formula isn't something babies are wired to live on. They can, and they do, and they will. But its like saying that processed meats and foods are exactly what we need to eat when there are plants and animals and other things that are natural to feed ourselves with. Which is better for us? Which is better for them?



The only reason why this is an issue is because everyone lets it be an issue.

Jolene - posted on 12/28/2010

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Thank you for that passionate, well thought out post! I choose to BF mostly, but my milk dried up for my 2nd child and I did not realize it for quite a while. She was wasting away and her skin was hanging on her funny before I realized I was starving her. She is 4 and thriving now, but it still makes me want to cry! I was so THANKFUL for formula!! It saved her life! My 4th child just turned a year and BF is going great. Sorry you got judged by both sides. While both sides have valid points, neither side has the right to speak to eachother the way they do. We should indeed, jus be happy our children are getting fed!

Anna - posted on 12/28/2010

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thank you! Parenting is such a hard job we should just try to support each other.

Krystle - posted on 12/27/2010

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I don't entirely agree with this one:

I agree that you shouldn't put someone down for a decision they made. Especially because they may not have been totally informed on the benifits of BF. Every mother does the best job she knows how to do.

But I disagree that "at least they are being fed". An analogy is: if a mother only fed her toddler junk food. Well, it's not to hurt anyone's feeling to say that is not healthy, and she should be taught what a balanced diet is. The child might be healthy eating junk food all the time, but it *predisposes* them of health problems. Same is true of Formula ("Junk food") vs Breast ("Balanced diet")

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