weaning help, other methods of getting her to sleep without brestfeeding.

Tanya - posted on 02/27/2011 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Hello, I'm looking for some advise on how to help my daughter get to sleep without brestfeeding. We are not interested in the let them cry method, so please with hold any suggestions that involves that. But, any other suggestions is desperately needed. Thank you.

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I agree with everyone that you don't need to stop breastfeeding. You may want to work on putting her to sleep awake though, so that she learns how to put herself to sleep and so that other people can put her to bed if you are not around. There is a "No Cry Sleep Solution" book with a lot of ideas. And the Kim West book talks about gradually leaving the room while they are still awake.

Kirti - posted on 02/28/2011

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'Let them cry' method is the worst one to try and in my case I can't let my son cry at night coz that used to disturb the sleep of my husband who work for almost 12 hrs. at day and I don't want him to be disturbed ... I was so annoyed when my son used to wake up at nights [he co-sleep with us] and he was unsatisfied with breastfeed so first I started bottle at night once he turned 1 yr.... He used to have 2 or 3 times, slowly I started wean him off with one time feed for a few days and later stopped giving him any... Now he have his dinner at 8 or 8.30 like us and latter when I go to sleep at 11 he have his 1 feed while sleeping. Now he don't disturbs us... and wake up at 7.30 am.... and have his first feed of milk...

Heather - posted on 02/27/2011

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My sister is prego with her 2nd babe. My neice turned 2 in Sept. She nursed my neice thru the beg of her pregnancy then they (she and my neice) discussed it and together decided that maybe Elsie (my neice) was getting really big and as a big sister her job is to help with new baby coming and part of that helping was to save milk for the new baby. So they decided that after Santa came then Elsie would be too big for mommas milk and she would stop nursing to save milk for her baby brother. She was 2 yrs and 3 months at that point and weened very easily becasue she was prepped and made to feel like it was her decision but of course every child is different. I was convinced i would only nurse for 12 months (becasue cultury that is what is acceptable) but when i hit 12 months i just kept going. With my #2 i had a goal of 2 yrs. I know how hard it is to get balanced meals (even tho we eat VERY healthy and my kids and i eat juice plus everyday too) into a toddler so i felt it very import to make it to at least 24 months. I of course get people saying that i am crazy and a tree hugger and a psycho parent but i know i am giving my kids a huge gift of health and security and i know both boys (now 3 and 7) are extrememly well balanced, healthy, happy, independent and secure and i don't know if they would be as awsome as they are if i did not parent them the way i do and allow them to hit their milestones on their level instead of using cultural norms to force things upon them. I know that among my friends and family i consistanly get comments about how secure and happy and enjoyable they are. I know that they each only have 0-1 sick visit to the pediatritian a year and almost everytime it is becasue of asthma not a bug going around or ear infection or anything like that. I know that neither one is a picky eater (becasue they got all the flavors thru BM for so long) and both have very good diets (eating an average of 6-10 servings of fruits and veggies a day, whole grains, beans, lentils, soups, etc...neither on eats fries or chicken nuggets or really any of those stand by "kid meals"...they eat healthy "adult"food and are happy about it. So i really have seen the benifets on many levels of letting them self ween. Im glad that you are finding some of this helpful. I post lots on my FB page about kids and kids nutrition and breastfeeding if you are on FB and want to friend me feel free. It is Heatherbinns Hopkins Juice Plus. There may be more support and help for you as she grows and you hit diff phases :o) Good luck with your beautiful little joy!

Heather - posted on 02/27/2011

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HOw old is your daughter? HAve you tried having a consistant bedtime routine? Lots of cuddles and rocking and rubbing or tickling back or head? My older son would let me hold his hand and rub his back. My younger son wanted me to lay in bed with him and he would cuddle with his back to me so he was not tempted to "dig in". I did nurse both my kids to sleep most of the time till they were in their 2nd year then i weened away from that even tho they would still climb into bed with me to nurse during the night. Every kid is different tho so maybe just experimenting with different comforting acts to see what works best for your kiddo. Good luck

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Emily - posted on 03/05/2011

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Also, an excellent resource is the No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She also has the "No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers" that is extremely helpful with night-weaning tips when you're ready for it.

I just night-weaned my twins at 17 months (about a month ago), and they are AWESOME sleepers now, and we did it so nicely... I just had to stop because I became pregnant again and I was groucho mom from not getting enough sleep.

Tanya - posted on 03/05/2011

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Thank you everyone for your advise! It has actually made me change my mind about when I am going to stop nursing. I have always wanted to just let her stop on her own but the pressures of our culture can be quite influential. But that is no longer an issue!!! Thanks again ladies.

Melanie - posted on 03/05/2011

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Well said Darcy, it is normal for all children to wean themselves, there is no set time and each child will just stop and that is the end of it. I breast feed both my girls, the eldest till she was 28 months and she just stopped and that was the end of it, she had until that point only hada feed before going to bed and when she woke and a little extra if she was unwell or unsetltled. My youngest til she was 33 months she was a little more into having more fequent feeds up until hse over hear my GP tell me that the medications I needed could not be taken while I was feeding then she asked to stay at my mums overnight so "Mummy won't have to give me booby milk tonight" THe younget by the way is the best sleeper, she now just settles herself and has since she stopped BF she just needed to know till that point that I was there for her as all little ones do.

Darcy Sharman - posted on 03/05/2011

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I agree with the previous poster...if it's working for you don't worry too much about weaning! Apparently the 'natural age of weaning' (i.e. when children will stop by themselves, without any assistance from parents) is between 4-7 years old, so at 11 months she's definitely still young enough to be breastfeeding :)

Tanya - posted on 02/27/2011

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Hi again, Wow that was a great reply. I really do agree with you. And maybe I feel like I have to stop her because of the cultural influences, some people looked at me funny when I said I was still nursing. But I am know okay with that because she comes first and no-one is going to dictate what I do with my baby that may seem abnormal. I completely agree that this would help her with all her changes and still continue to have that connection she desires. I am a stay at home mom also so it's not a big deal. Just that I do want to start trying to have another baby by the time she is three.

Heather - posted on 02/27/2011

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My personal opinion is that as long as the nursing relationship is working for both of you then go ahead and keep nursing. Every kid is different adn i think that biologically if they still feel they need to nurse then they still need it on a nutritional level (so hard to keep a balanced diet going into a 1 or 2 yr old), emotional level (they are teething adn going thru so many transitions with walking adn climbing and more seperation, etc), and psychologically (they are still not full aware that when mommy is not in site she is till available and for the saske of creating independent secure little people this is a great tool to get them there). Also cows milk really is very hard for little people to digest and it is harder for some then others so im not a fan of giving it till they ask for it to give thier systems more time to mature. With both my boys around 18 months i slowed them down on nursing keeping it primarily to nap and bed time / wake up time. I just told them not now here is some water or a cuddle or an apple or whatever i thought they were needing at that time. I did primarily don't offer don't refuse but i did try to side track or distract when i could. however if it was really important to them at that time i did not fight it. Then as they got older i would tell them that "milks were empty and needed to fill up" and that would buy time to either delay or they would fall asleep on their own or go on to something else or get a drink of water. I very gently ween them over time. It has not been bad for us at all. Now my little guy for the last 6 months or so only nurses for about 1-2 mins at a t ime adn is down to nursing about 4 or 5 times a week. He is almost done but i am not pushing it becasue i know he will be done when he is ready and there is no need to rush it. It still has value for him both nutritionally and psychologically. You have to do what is right for you but i think 11 months is pretty young if she still wants it that badly and it is ok with you to nurse then just have a laid back attitude and go with the flow. Good luck. I will add you into mu circle but i need to go tuck in my babes so will get to it in a bit :)

Tanya - posted on 02/27/2011

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Hi Heather and thanks for responding! My daughter is going on 11 months. I have thought about nursing later also but when I have read further into it people tend to say it is worse weaning a two year old and better to do it earlier when they have a short memory span. I do usually have a persistent bedtime routine but it changes so much due to her teeth coming in, molars. Can children understand by two if you tell them your going to stop nuring them? Just wondering how you did it with your boys being older? But, I will definitely try those comforting acts yet I have a feeling it wont work with her because she is so young. I don't know, let me know what you think. Thanks again, I added you to my circle so I can chat with you when ever :)

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