Weaning: Want vs woes

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

My second son is 13 months. I BF'd my 1st son to 18 months, and weaned him because I was 3 months along with my second son. I confess I wanted my boobies to myself for a little while.

Anyway, #2 is 13 months and has always been a very impolite nurser. He pinches and scratches and bites still at this age. My first son was not like this. I usually have at least 1 or 2 scabs on my breast from him. We've cut back to nursing in just the mornings because I simply don't want to be mauled anymore.

To top it off, I need new nursing bras... The current set I have are from when I was nursing my first son, and they are old and worn out. But, I don't really want to buy a whole new set right now, especially since I have plenty of nice non-nursing bras.

Every morning I think (while wincing through the gnawing and pinching), that today will probably be the last day. Then every day while I play with this happy little guy and every night when I get him ready for bed I think... Just one more day.

Oh, it doesn't get any better. I've been trying to teach him to be nice about it since he started all the nonsense. But how do I come to terms with myself? I had thought I would nurse this one to about 18 months too, but I just can't imagine 7 more months of this.

Also, will wearing an underwire occasionally at this point still be likely to clog ducts? I only have 1 or 2 I like, but I figure I can nurse first then wear a regular bra the rest of the day.

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[deleted account]

Thanks everyone for your encouragement!

I have tried the nursing necklaces and other tricks like holding and playing with his hands, etc., but really no luck. We have cut back on our nursing time to about once a day and I just nurse before getting dressed in the morning or after I'm in my jammies at night. He seems pretty content with that, and I feel comfortable with it too, knowing he's still getting some of the good stuff while I get a bit of a break. Interestingly, his nursing behavior has improved! So we'll stick it out as long as we can!

Hannah - posted on 06/02/2011

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Good for you for sticking it out. I hear you about getting mauled, I get pinched, my hair pulled out, and she has just discovered tweaking the other nipple while she nurses. Little critter!

I have actually just started underwires again (my daughters 22 months) and I have been fine, so I think you will be too.

Did you ever try wearing a bead necklace for your son to fiddle with while you feed him? It's something I have read on this site that other mums have tried.

Heather - posted on 06/01/2011

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I also had a very inpolite nurser with my 1st son and i nursed him for 31 mos before i weened him (i wanted him to self ween but i could not take the abuse any longer...also had all the biting and pinching and scratching and he was very rough and demanding). I think you need to be ready to ween and you do not really sound ready. Have you tried every time he bites or scratches or pinches you just put him down and walk away? That may help reduce the bad behaviour or holding his hand while he nurses so he cannot pinch? I was able to wear underwire with no prob while i was nursing so you could totally try it (between my 2 boys i nursed a combined 79 months and wore underwire for most of it). Good luck!

[deleted account]

Good for you for hanging in there. I know I've had several times where I've felt I really wanted to stop. If you want to try to continue then you can keep trying to teach nursing manners. I like these tips from kellymom:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/nu...

At this point, as long as your supply has adjusted to only nursing in the morning, I don't think underwires will be too much of an issue. Make sure they fit properly and aren't too tight. You should continue nursing as long as BOTH parties want to. If you no longer want to then don't force yourself. You don't want to breastfeeding to leave you with unhappy memories. I completely understand where you are coming from. My daughter is 2 and I'm 32 weeks pregnant. It's uncomfortable to nurse and I have that skin crawling feeling when we do. I'm trying my best to push through it and let her self wean. It's very hard, but I do know that if I decide to wean then I've given her the very best start in life. You should be proud of that :).

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